Kind of Need a Job
Last week I got a call out of nowhere on my cell phone. Apparently Steve listed me as a job reference. The woman asked if we ever worked together, and I said, "Uh... yeah. We made a movie together." "Anything we may have heard of?" she wondered." "Um, no, it was a college production." And so on I went, telling her about my great buddy Steve. So tonight Steve thanked me:

New Jersey Steve (11:16:41 PM): Hey Dave. thanks for handeling the job reference on the spot with no warning about it. I would of told you about it beforehand, but my experience in the past is that they never call references, so i was a little surprised to hear they called you.
theophilosophos (11:17:08 PM): haha!
theophilosophos (11:17:10 PM): it was fun
New Jersey Steve (11:17:17 PM): lol, that's good
theophilosophos (11:17:18 PM): I had to improvise, that was entertaining
theophilosophos (11:17:42 PM): you put me under "job references"?
New Jersey Steve (11:17:47 PM): i was shocked. because no one that I have ever listed as a reference told me that got a call for any job in the past
New Jersey Steve (11:17:55 PM): they asked for one professional reference and one personal reference
theophilosophos (11:18:20 PM): and which was I?
New Jersey Steve (11:18:27 PM): the personal
theophilosophos (11:18:30 PM): oh I see
theophilosophos (11:18:41 PM): apparently they made it sound like I worked with you before, so I went with it
New Jersey Steve (11:18:41 PM): although you could have counted as professional, since we did make a movie together
New Jersey Steve (11:19:04 PM): if they ask, i'll say we did. i mean, we worked on a movie set, so technically, we did work together in the past
New Jersey Steve (11:19:20 PM): although they havn't called me back yet, so i'm doubting i'll hear from them
New Jersey Steve (11:20:34 PM): if you ever need a job reference, feel free to write me down
theophilosophos (11:21:55 PM): yeah
theophilosophos (11:22:17 PM): so... I don't know how believeable I was yet
New Jersey Steve (11:22:58 PM): that's all right. even if you did a terrible job, i'm not upset. i mean, i didn't even tell you in advance about it. besides, it's not like a job that i really wanted
New Jersey Steve (11:23:01 PM): i don't even want a job. i just kind of need a job

No Cash
(Steve, Greg, Craig, and I went to Six Flags Great Adventure this week. When Steve heard that the parking attendants in the booths only accept cash, he had an idea...)

Steve: (to parking attendant) What do you do if you don't have cash?
Attendant: You go to an ATM.
Steve: Okay, well here's $20. (hands attendant a twenty dollar bill)

The Dictionary According to Steve: Part IV
go-to-itiveness
initiative

embalmed
disgusted
(usage: I don't know what candidate I'm going to vote for this year. I'm embalmed with both of them.)

genre
color
(usage: hats of the red genre)

No More Steveisms
New Jersey Steve (12:31:59 AM): i've been thinking about the steveisms sight. it was a funny idea at first, and i liked it. but now, it's time the site stops printing new entries
New Jersey Steve (12:32:09 AM): you don't have to shut it down, but i'm ready to see new entries end.
theophilosophos (12:33:00 AM): why?
theophilosophos (12:33:05 AM): there have always been new entries
New Jersey Steve (12:33:22 AM): it's just time. the entries that already exist may stay
New Jersey Steve (12:33:26 AM): but no more new ones
theophilosophos (12:33:48 AM): ok, maybe "It's time," works for your reason for leaving Target, but it doesn't work on me
theophilosophos (12:35:59 AM): are you just saying that so I will put that on the site?
New Jersey Steve (12:36:10 AM): no, actually, i really don't want any new entries
New Jersey Steve (12:36:16 AM): that was not intended for the site.
theophilosophos (12:36:35 AM): k, cuz it's going there
New Jersey Steve (12:37:05 AM): um, you know, i would never sue you or craig, but legally, you can't use my words in such a fashion
theophilosophos (12:37:19 AM): sure I can
New Jersey Steve (12:38:09 AM): that site makes me look like a bumbling idiot
theophilosophos (12:38:57 AM): a lovable bumbling idiot though

Swingers
Steve: (searching on Google) I'm looking for a swingers club. I want to go swing dancing.

only $25
I IMed a bunch of people telling them that our DVD that just came out is just $5. But when I got to Steve, I decided to shake things up...

theophilosophos (12:09:22 AM): Do you want a Grads DVD? It's a movie I made over last summer. It's only $25, so check out the GRADS movie site and tell me if you want one.
New Jersey Steve (12:10:03 AM): $25?
theophilosophos (12:10:26 AM): yeah, that's the price of a typical DVD
theophilosophos (12:10:45 AM): how else could I make money? I put plenty of hours of work into it.
New Jersey Steve (12:11:07 AM): yea, but you me and craig were in the movie. the three of us should get it at the DVD value
New Jersey Steve (12:11:30 AM): you just said that the other day
theophilosophos (12:11:39 AM): oh, right. like I'm going to work on it and do all the editing, and buy the DVDs, and you and Craig go Scott-free?
theophilosophos (12:11:48 AM): It changed, man.
New Jersey Steve (12:12:06 AM): i know there's a punchline to all of this
New Jersey Steve (12:12:10 AM): i just don't know what it is
theophilosophos (12:12:18 AM): and the other night you ditched me. that hurt.
New Jersey Steve (12:12:28 AM): i didn't ditch you
theophilosophos (12:12:29 AM): you have no idea how much I worked on this
New Jersey Steve (12:12:35 AM): my family needed me
theophilosophos (12:13:29 AM): I guess that's ok, it didn't sound like that though. You were saying that you wouldn't go unless hundreds of people were at the premiere.
New Jersey Steve (12:14:00 AM): i meant if there were hundreds, then i would feel as though i was expected to be there, so i would try harder to rearrange my schedule then
theophilosophos (12:14:15 AM): but you wouldn't be there for us
New Jersey Steve (12:14:41 AM): i'm saying since you guys are my friends, we can see each other real easily at another time. the one of a kind event will not happen again
New Jersey Steve (12:14:56 AM): that would have been more unique
New Jersey Steve (12:15:01 AM): and rareer
theophilosophos (12:15:23 AM): it is a one-of-a-kind event regardless of how many people are there
New Jersey Steve (12:15:56 AM): the preimere with hundreds of people is like the real premiere, cause the general public is now able to see it
theophilosophos (12:16:10 AM): it's a premiere nonetheless
New Jersey Steve (12:16:23 AM): it's not the same. we're not showing off our work to the public
New Jersey Steve (12:18:23 AM): fine, as long as craig is also being charged that price
theophilosophos (12:19:13 AM): yeah, I need the money for a camcorder. The other one broke during the movie, remember?
New Jersey Steve (12:19:20 AM): true
New Jersey Steve (12:19:41 AM): well, i'm glad you're taking my advice and trying to make a profit off of it

Playing God
New Jersey Steve (9:28:51 PM): there's auditions in march for a play in my school called God. i don't know if it's just a name, or if it's actually has a character called God (it's a comedy), but i should audition for God. lol.
New Jersey Steve (9:29:17 PM): you could tell people, "This is my friend. He's God."

Seriously Funny
New Jersey Steve (7:50:02 PM): i am definitly coming this friday, with a 2ish arrival time. but here's the deal. this weekend is about forgetting my stresses. so i want no conversations about anything serious. this weekend is about fun and partying only.

Minus Simplicity
Theman093: i like to think i've come a long way since then
New Jersey Steve: we all have. we're better, wiser people for what we've experienced since then. sadly, we are minus simplicity
New Jersey Steve: wow, that's the most insightful sounding thing i've said in a long time

Craig's Paper
Craig: I'm writing a paper on the caste system of India.
Steve: Oh, is that something about money?