Playing God
New Jersey Steve (9:28:51 PM): there's auditions in march for a play in my school called God. i don't know if it's just a name, or if it's actually has a character called God (it's a comedy), but i should audition for God. lol.
New Jersey Steve (9:29:17 PM): you could tell people, "This is my friend. He's God."

Seriously Funny
New Jersey Steve (7:50:02 PM): i am definitly coming this friday, with a 2ish arrival time. but here's the deal. this weekend is about forgetting my stresses. so i want no conversations about anything serious. this weekend is about fun and partying only.

Minus Simplicity
Theman093: i like to think i've come a long way since then
New Jersey Steve: we all have. we're better, wiser people for what we've experienced since then. sadly, we are minus simplicity
New Jersey Steve: wow, that's the most insightful sounding thing i've said in a long time

Craig's Paper
Craig: I'm writing a paper on the caste system of India.
Steve: Oh, is that something about money?

Jackie's Comment
JackieMac04 (3:40:39 PM): hey i was just at ur website and discover that bologna steve is dumber than i imagined. tell him his stupidity brightened my day and gave me a lot of good laughs

The Dictionary According to Steve: Part III
"Jesus' crucification"
Jesus' crucifixion

"commentate"
comment

Old People
(Steve recently quit Target... again. He's considering jobs that involve driving, which happens to be Steve's favorite hobby. He considers being a bus driver for the elderly or a mailman.)

New Jersey Steve (11:54:53 PM): i don't like old people. i crinch when i'm around a lot of disease
New Jersey Steve (11:55:17 PM): i was once forced to do "volunteer" work at a nursing home. i've been semi-germaphobic ever since
New Jersey Steve (11:59:08 PM): maybe a post office delivery man. i did pass those mail entrance exams
New Jersey Steve (12:00:07 AM): well, when you said drive the bus, i assumed you meant the ones who can't drive themselves, which would the ones close enough to dying, you just look at them, and they look like death
New Jersey Steve (12:00:20 AM): i know it sounds mean, but i can't be around that many people about to die

Makeover
New Jersey Steve (5:58:48 PM): hey craig. today, i put gel in my hair, and wore contacts again, and i look good!
New Jersey Steve (5:58:57 PM): i was given a mini-makeover today

A Friend Reviews Steve's IM from 12-15-03
C6xr (4:39:35 PM): That's a long, uneventful Instant Message
theophilosophos (4:40:05 PM): It's a look into the inner Steve
C6xr (4:41:12 PM): I see...I stand by my previous statement nonetheless.

Balloon Fight
"They have to 'up' the age for Social Security. People are living too long now."

"I think I've learned more in the last 365 days than any other 365-day group."

"nipped it in the butt"

(Steve and I have recently been playing the NES game Balloon Fight on Game Cube.)
Steve: Oh, I came out with tenacity there.
Dave: (surprised) Steve, I think that's actually a word.
Steve: Yeah, I've heard it in basketball games before.