 Speaker
list
John
Ruediger (roastmaster)
 Goes
by: the man who lives
among hillbillies, Aldi's manager, living dead, oxygen
machine
Will
probably talk about: Mojo's
bitching problem, sexless Mojo, small dick Mojo, Mojo's
aging
Soft
spots: Bombing at the
first two roasts, speech impediment, smells like kerosene
and tater tots
Kyle Wells
(key note speaker)
Goes
by: Mr. Potatoe Head,
widescreen, Nancy boy, I like girls- I just don't go out
with them
Will
probably talk about: Mojo's
insessent whining, Mojo's cocky attitude, sexless Mojo,
how Mojo did not return the favors, Mojo the unfriendly
dinosaur
Soft
spots: Disproportionately
large head, un-updated waste of space Kylewells.com,
lives at home, plays command and conquer with himself
like 24/7 to foot porn, has not dated a girl for a long
time, only gay friend of Gary's that did not live with
him.
Sean Kramer
Goes
by: hey you, skinny
white boy, give me some more bread, the annoyance, the
smiler, your house to piss on it
Will
probably talk about: Mojo
as the cocky, whiny, aging, forgetful, balding,
out-of-shape sissy he is, Sexless Mojo, Mojo the
unfriendly dinosaur
Soft
spots: Perfectionist,
anger problem, MD, shoddy films, anything somebody can
get out of his wife.
Gary Sweatt
Goes
by: Steve Buscemi,
trash stash, lead singer of Last Ditch Effort, I wish I
was the funniest- but I am not, narcissistic annoyance,
Denny Rodic, any command of a girl
Will
probably talk about: Mojo's
anger problem, what hanging out with Mojo is like, why
working with Mojo is annoying, his hatred of baby mama,
Mojo's beer keg of a belly, Mojo the unfriendly dinosaur
Soft
spots: Balding,
irritating self-promotion, close-talking, U.G.L.Y,
W.H.I.P.P.E.D., blows his money uselessly, still thinks
he is in highschool
Angelo Butto
Goes
by: Ritalin pills, bus
my table, get out of my house, Nick's bedroom, drop out,
Butto, the nose growth
Will
probably talk about: how
nervous he is, how many jokes he actually remembered,
tell those few jokes wrong, and then bye. Mojo the
unfriendly dinosaur.
Soft
spots: ADHD, living
with Nick, drug problem, bad with girls, awkward in
general, dropped out of college for one more play of John
Madden football.
Jason Duffy
Goes
by: An hour late, J
Duff, Jason Dynamo Duffy, where people smoke weed.
Will
probably talk about: Mojo's
drug problems, recent binge drinking, Mojo's bi-polar
attitude, Mojo's weird habits, stories of Mojo and the
few girls he's seen. Mojo the unfriendly dinosaur.
Soft
spots: consistantly
late, forgetful, tree-hugger hippy caught in 2004,
Hygiene
Kyle Kramer
Goes
by: Big Green, smelly
kid, Double KK, Kyle two-tone Kramer, the annoyance.
Will
probably talk about: Mojo's
swagger, Mojo's teeth, Mojo's attitude, Mojo's anger
problem. Mojo the unfriendly dinosaur.
Soft
spots: large and
gangly, long curly unwashed hair, consistent morning
stench, works at a gas station, Kyle the nurse
Bruce
Stevens
Goes
by: Brucless, underage
alcoholic, fry cook, Luis's understudy, anyone who is
easily annoyed.
Will
probably talk about: Mojo's
anger problem, Mojo's attitude, Mojo buying him alcohol.
Mojo the unfriendly dinosaur
Soft
spots: how he became
bruceless, poor hygiene, sings like he forgot he left the
shower.
|
The Mojo Roast
January 11, 2004
11:00 p.m.
Roastmaster-
John Ruediger
Keynote
speaker- Kyle Wells
Speakers-
Sean Kramer, Gary Sweatt, Angelo Butto, Jason Duffy, Kyle
Kramer, Bruce Stevens, and more to be mentioned.
Rebuttal-
Mojo Morrison
The Northeast Ohio
Friars Club
"When
you get to become Mojo's age, getting lucky
means finding your car in the parking lot...."
01/05/2005 04:07 PM
Updates
The Mojo site is up. Click there to go back.
Sean
|
