We are now in the warm summer month of June...ah time flies at an amazing speed, doesn't it?  Ever since having my daughter, it's been difficult to keep up on the things I want to do.  Taking care of her, keeping the house clean, helping my man with little details and business ventures, journaling, art, web design, my web sites and writing.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention eating, sleeping, taking time to just BE.  I can keep up just fine, I just can't spend as much time as I would like doing things like art and web design.  In fact, I have not touched anything to do with web design since she has been born, nor have I attempted to finish any art projects.  And I am behind on my journal. 

I cannot believe she is one month old already.  She has grown, and outgrown newborn clothes.  I try to enjoy every minute, because she will never be this age again.  Last night she slept 5 hours in a row.  That was nice!

Things have been extremely busy around here too, starting with Mother's Day, three birthdays in June, Father's Day and an anniversary.  Two babies were born this month (two of my friends, not me) and my little girl herself had a trip to the ER on the 5th.  It's amazing that I am sitting here, clean house, napping baby and I have eaten, showered and everything!  I thought about tackling an art project, but I cannot even begin to concentrate. 

I am thinking of quitting web design all together.  I do not have time to work on that with my daughter, and she is my first priority.  In a way I feel defeated, because it has been my dream to do this and get it going strong, but it seems that is not meant to be.  I am also afraid I will lose my identity as a person and be considered a mom, wife, sister, daughter...not a person.  I guess that's what happens when you have a baby, right? 

That must be why so many people want to wait, or don't want children altogether.  I would never give up my little girl though.  I'd rather be a nobody than be without her now that I have her.  My man supports what I want to do, but he can't actually do anything about it.  He goes to school, works and is trying to get his own business off the ground.  His will actually make money!  I'm thinking of slowly giving things up, like web design, art, writing...etc.  I used to do all those things and work a full time job.  To go from that to staying home is extremely hard.  Much harder than working all the time.  I've done all that before.  Easy!  Taking care of a baby and trying to remain a person is near impossible at this point.