Sat 7:55 AM
Topic: Day to day stuff
I prayed for Julie past 4:30AM and God woke me up praying at 6:30AM Got up at 7:08 AM. I feel quite awake and refreshed. I made and ate some eggs which I haven't had in a long time... waiting for what's next. Also prayed for Brian's sister's situation... I had only 2 hours of sleep yet I am just as refreshed as I usually am, went to work, came home and played Smash Bros with Mark while waiting for the computer to be available. This morning while reading Matthew and writing notes and crying on I think 3 separate ocations, I found out from Betsy that she is in St. Pete. Now I'm thinking about renting a movie before my free movie pass expires... I think I'll call some people. All plans are subject to change if at any moment the Lord interrupts. Well no one was able to do anything... Julie was at home just like Betsy, Kim is still here in Tally but busy with prayer and other things and I couldn't call her long distance number anyway. Brad and Jake didn't answer the phone. Sarah came online and had promised her brother she'd take him to a movie. Betsy got online, Kim got online, Kim D got online, we had a huge chat in which I found out Brian's AIM, Ben's AIM, met a new friend and had a good time. I need to go to bed so my body can actually get some rest and I can digest all this food I've been eating. Betsy suggested 1/2 jokingly that I drive down to Kim S' place when I said I hadn't hung out with her to know her faces. I'm praying now and ask you to pray also that God will clearly tell me if I am to take this long trip or to try to get some more hours at work or something different... Thing is... Last night I ended up packing a bag with clothes while praying and doing my laundry and Kim said that she thinks she may need someone to pray with... Lord's will be done.

Lesson learned
Topic: Day to day stuff
Friday 6-18-05
God woke me up at around 10:30 but I stayed in bed for an hour because I thought they said they were doing the air conditioning at 2, fell back asleep, woke up at 1, got up and took a shower, left by 1:40, got to the XA house with the gate closed and no one there. If you start your day in disobedience, it is very hard to get back to the right path just like in The Silver Chair. Aslan only gave 4 signs to Jill Pole to remember and repeat constantly in order to complete her task. She allowed herself to be distracted and missed several signs at first. We cannot know what would have happened if we did things a different way. We can only trust that God will bring our foolishness to goodness in the end just as Aslan used Jill’s foolishness to still bring her and her companions through the trials to complete their task teaching them valuable lessons throughout. Sometimes the only way you can learn something is through a mistake. I did learn from today’s mistake. I waited in my car and asked God where I should go next. A song popped into my head “Where do I go, Back on my knees again” I got out of my car and went to my knees on my cushion that I carry around to use for up in my spot on the tree and occasions such as this. I waited until I was surrounded by ants and left for work. I got there just in time to change, get a foot sub combo, write down the reason I was late on Sunday and the reason I couldn’t be there on Tuesday on the form they gave me on Thursday so that they could be excused… Don’t you love all my long sentences? Here’s a short one for you… He wept. This is what I had done the night before when I watched the end of Pay It Forward. What? I already told you this? Oh, well there’s a reason I’m telling you again. I was thinking during this time about that movie, and seeing that this girl was at work today and was going on a vacation soon, I asked God if I could give her flowers that night since she was closing and would leave after I would. I worked in the kitchen in the Deli again today and got burnt quite badly because I was moving too fast and rushing myself. How’s that for revelation? I had thanked God earlier for reminding me to right down my late/absent excuse before I clocked in. When I took my break, I ate part of the second half of my sub and chips and had a free refill of my soda. I was also able to finally start reading my Bible, which I have not done in quite a while since I moved to Deli and only have a half hour break rather than an hour. This is not a good excuse but it was one of many bad excuses that I said to myself. I thanked God for being able to have a break as I had not expected to get one today. I got off work almost 45 minutes after I was supposed to because there was an order that held me up from cleaning. I went ahead and got the flowers for the girl instead of waiting on it. I hope they bless her anyway. I asked God if I should go home or go into town to try and find Kyle and April’s house even though I didn’t know exactly how to get there and had been their only once. I heard the “go home” but did not listen very well, thinking that God could lead me to their house and I might be able to still have some fun and see at least Kim and perhaps the other girls again. I did not know if they would still be doing fireworks but figured they would stay there late talking. I went into town and drove past their road, drove around several other roads in the Jim Lee area where we had gone to that church when some prophetic people were visiting it. I returned home passing their road once again. I found out that I had passed their road from my mom when she told me the road’s name. I’m doing my laundry right now in two sets (light and dark). I have work tomorrow 1-4 which I know now after looking almost franticly through my backpack, bag, wallet and then finally found the paper I wrote my schedule on in the passenger seat of my car. I was not able to talk to Kim S. tonight either because she has to wake up for work at a decent time in the morning. Perhaps if I had obeyed, I would have been able to talk to her but we cannot change the past, only learn from our mistakes and press on towards the goal for which God has called us heavenward. Kim S. Did email me to say that she was finally able to get my emails though they were delayed for some odd reason, I emailed her back asking why she was “Away” and she emailed later before she went to bed the reason I mentioned earlier. I searched around on several of the Xanga blogs connected to Betsy’s trying to remember the name of one who had a glory bubble on his hat in the birthday party group picture; only to find the name Alex on some junk email… I thanked God for this and hope that it is right. I’ve typed it so many times, I think that even if I’m wrong, I’ll still call him that… perhaps it is spelled differently… mind wandering… I’m done with the update! Yay! I had to upload it in pieces by the day because it was too long to work in only one post. What to do now… Probably go to bed… I’ll try to obey tomorrow morning. “No, no try. Do or do not. There is no try” (Yoda) after Luke tries and Yoda does, Luke says, “I don’t believe it.” Yoda: “That is why you fail.” Ever notice that Yoda loses his way of speaking when he is saying something serious and talks with subject and verb and subject at the end when he is having fun? If it was not a serious thing for Luke to believe, or if it were an amusing thing, Yoda would have said, “That is why fail, you do. Yes.” I’m going to ramble on a bit more just to show more of my fun personality… Scratch that. I have to pray for Julie and probably do some other things like my laundry.

Thursday
Topic: Day to day stuff
Thursday 6-17-05
I had work from 12-6, went right to XA, played foosball, noticed Thomas was looking better, raised my hand to help with putting in the air conditioning the next day, asked Betsy about recent flowerings, worshipped with great enthusiasm almost like I was in a fist fight, waited some more, played some good foosball against Ruben, went to Cold Stone, had a German Chocolate Cake ice cream in a waffle bowl, prayed and listened to the conversations that were not deep enough for me, left without a word, got home and typed some more of this up, Kim S. couldn’t talk much but was able to email me one of our conversations to help me start typing this that night. I talked to Kim D. and found out that… I think I know more than she thinks I know, though she still knows more than I thought she knew which is more than what I know. You may have to read that several times to get the truth out of it… It probably wouldn’t help to say it out loud several times fast but you can try just for fun. I went to bed asking God to wake me up when He wanted me to get up.

Wednesday
Topic: Day to day stuff
Wed. 6-15-05
I woke up and prayed for Kim a bit; Hanna and Rachael came in and played as quietly as they could. Mark’s playing the piano and Mom’s complaining about wasted fish that has been in the oven for days that no one knew about and didn’t eat. So I’m having a hard time concentrating. Sandra walked out, noticed we were still there and went back in her room to get dressed more, she got the girls and took them to Vacation Bible School. Brian came out and talked to us a bit (Kim had woken up). He asked if we wanted eggs but figured that Sandra might bring something home so he waited. We talked about how we didn’t get anything spectacular the night before. We all sensed and Brian said that this was just a waiting time to continue for a week or two even in order to stretch us and take away our expectations of God. Sandra came home with Subway bacon and egg sandwiches that were very tasty after not eating since 1:00 PM the day before. We had grape juice with our sandwiches, Brian went to get his work clothes on, Kim and I cleaned up the room a little, and I was hoping to go home first before taking Kim home so I could get a shower and change. I had worked on the drum pretty enthusiastically the night before… Brian wanted to go out to eat before work so we followed him to Dairy Queen instead. I had passed the turn I would have gone on normally and had to turn around and come back up Monroe St. which brought on something to Kim and my conversation (the nasty feeling that she and I get from the stores around Lake Ella and the name of the road there being legion). Brian had a banana split and Kim had a Hawaiian Blizzard. I prayed. Betsy wasn’t able to go to lunch at that time so we went to Kim’s house while Brian went to work.
At Kim’s house… Julie was reading and almost done with The Last Battle in the Chronicles of Narnia. They were planning a surprise Birthday party for Erik. I had been sensing something not being said to me that I should know about Kim, Betsy and Julie but found out later when I was supposed to. Still have that feeling about Julie though. Kim called people to set up the surprise. Betsy came home to eat lunch during her work break. Julie and I went to get supplies for the cake and two 2 liters of soda, came back and Julie made the cake. Betsy left for work again, I took out the trash, we talked a while, Kim made a card for everyone to sign, and Julie got Kim to write on the cake after she had put the icing on it. We talked a little but nothing came out that I felt was missing. Kim got ready to take Erik out to Olive Garden for his birthday while we set up for the surprise when he would get home. She dressed nicely for Olive Garden. I was showing Julie and Suzi some interesting things on Akiane’s website, Kim left and Alex (I think that’s his name tell me if I’m wrong) came to cook lamb and some very good sausage along with his lima bean, tomato and garlic mayonnaise salad. I had two helpings of the salad but could not finish the second one because I had already had 3 cups of water while I was at their house… We got the stuff for the party together and went to Erik and Thomas’ place where I helped blow up balloons and hid behind the door when Erik came in after being dropped off by Kim. He was surprised but is probably like me in that we don’t show much expression when surprised, happy, sad etc. If you see me jumping around and extremely happy looking, it is either because I’m worshiping or have just had 2/3rds of a pack of Oreos. The cake was good. I prayed and listened to “everyone” talk. I gave Alex a shoulder rub (lightly because I paid attention to his comment about getting hurt from hard back rubs from other people). I learned more about Leah during that time, finding out that she has a strong heart for the Lord but also gets uncomfortable with silence and talking about sensitive areas in her life. I can be a friend with people who continually talk about spiritual things and serious things that are happening in their lives much easier than with people who talk about the world. I’ve always been careful in choosing friends but this narrows it down even more. I do not end any friendship however and continually try to introduce the spiritual to those who aren’t. Hmm… Where was I? I rode back to the girl’s place with Betsy now having ridden alone with each of the three girls at one point but still not getting the answer to my unknown question. At the girls house, Suzi was watching TV, Kim did some journaling, Betsy went on her laptop, Alex… hung around and talked. I was trying to hear if I should stay or should I go now… that Song came into my head and further interfered with my concentration. I went into the bathroom several times where the sound was blocked off quite nicely but I could not stay there the whole time because someone might need to use it. I decided to go into Kim and Julie’s room to lie down and pray. I could not get up even when Kim came in to go to bed (she said I could stay as long as I needed) but felt that I would be able to leave when Julie came into the room. I was and got up promptly, thanked Julie, which she didn’t understand and I once again did not talk to her about. I’m going to have to talk more to her to get more from her I think. All in God’s timing. I trust any information I need in order to pray will be given at the right time (I really struggle with this which is why I type it “out loud”). I drove home slowly again still not getting much. I learned much from Kim Schmidt that night until 3 AM.

Tuesday 6-14-05
Topic: Day to day stuff
Tuesday 6-14-05
In the morning (using the term loosely) I had cereal and got Mark to let me on the computer to type the first part of this up by promising him I?d take him to Game Stop. We got to Home Group just in time for me to put my things down and anoint the place before certain people walked in. My brother Tim is depressed and could not stay but he picked up Mom and Mark later so I could stay longer. I marked on the side of every window, door and on every fence post. Aubrey let me in through the back door; I put my oil down on the lamp table next to Brian?s chair with the message I had written on it the night before at the girl?s house. Then came time for some awesome worship? I knew I was not to sit down at all at first? I?m going to finish typing this long part up later? It?s 3:18 AM right now and I?m helping put AC into XA (which I guess would make XACA) tomorrow (Friday) before I work at 4-9 and then go to watch fireworks at Kyle and April?s (Lord willing) Oh come on? didn?t I get any laughs?
Those kind of Jokes come from the side of my dad that I like, Mom married him for, mom dislikes about him now, and my brother Jon rolls his eyes about. That note on the Oil bottle, for those of you who have not seen it, says ?Anointing Oil Use with Caution and Love.? During worship, Brian gave me the drum and on the next song, I used it. My mom seemed to be surprised about my drumming for some reason. Tambourines were next and at one point Betsy had me open my Bible to Psalm 150 and later Matthew 5 from which she sang beautifully. This we found out later on went right along with the prayers of Kim and Brian over the communion elements. After we took communion, many people went home leaving Brian, Sandra, Kim, Betsy and I. Julie had gone earlier for another meeting she felt she should go to. I haven?t heard much except that it was good. We had a long waiting period. Betsy left first as she had work early in the morning. We took a stretch break and rejoined this time without holding hands. Brian went down on the floor and put a blanket on and Sandra sat on the couch. Kim was also cold and had a blanket. I was not hot but I was warm and proceeded to pray becoming more aware. I put my hands on them and after some prayer they seemed to warm up. Sandra went to bed, Kim got the guitar and sang for a bit, Brian went to bed, and Kim was done singing. I let her know I?d take her home in the morning, got Brian?s blanket, got on his reclining chair and continued to pray while Kim tried to get some music going with her IPod, couldn?t find a cord and went to the couch with her blanket.

Monday 6-13-05
Topic: Day to day stuff
Mon 6-13-05
Talking to Kim was good. She got some encouragement and I learned more about her. I went to bed and woke up at about 10 something and stayed in bed for a while then got up and went on the computer. Jon picked up the phone when it rang and brought it to me saying ?Why can?t you pick up the phone when it?s your friends who are calling?? It was Betsy and I didn?t answer Jon because he knows I just let the answering machine get it to see if it is someone important or a telemarketer. I got this from my dad. Betsy asked me if I had gotten her email. I said I just woke up and hadn?t checked my email yet. She wanted to meet at lake Ella for lunch and to understand more of why I had given her my armor. I got ready and left right away, parked at Lake Ella, walked to the tree where I usually go, looked around for a while, waited until an hour after the meeting time she had said, climbed up into my spot and laid down looking around for her still. I also prayed as usual and worshiped a bit. I thought to myself ?perhaps she said 1:45 and not 11:45 and I just heard wrong ?cause I just woke up.? Rain clouds were rolling in. I prayed that it would not rain until after the meeting and after I left. Then when it was 1:10, I climbed down and walked to Publix to get a sub and perhaps meet her there since that is where she said she was going to get food. While I was there, I also got grapes and Publix sweet tea. 1:45 I walk back to the tree, eat my lunch at a table under the tree, saw a family walking around the lake who noticed my backpack up in the tree and laughed. I ate about a third of the grapes and drunk a third of the tea, finished of my Publix Ultimate and climbed back up into the tree to get my back pack and leave. I could see the heavy rain coming from the south as I walked north in a light rain. I got into my car just as the heavy rain came by. I went to my Publix to talk to the Deli manager that they had scheduled me against my availability and that I couldn?t be there Tuesday night. She wasn?t happy but she got someone to take over for me and I gave her my availability again so that it would not happen again. I then went over to ask for more hours to work up front but all I was told I could do was put a note up for anyone who wanted to give up his or her shift for me. As I was walking out Nick (coordinator) asked me when I came in. I told him I didn?t have work today, asking ?Why? Do you need me?? He then went to get the assistant manager to let me work and I worked from 4-8. While I was out getting carts, I found out the car of a girl who has been glum lately so I can give her flowers when I feel led.
I just saw the end of pay it forward and cried 3 times for just the end. I?m not talking about the usual wet eyes. I?m talking quivering lips and dropping tears on my hands in my lap? Those of you, who are being blessed at the moment and in the recent past, consider paying it forward rather than doing something nice back to the person who did it for you. Rather than focusing on finding out person who blessed you, find someone else you can bless. Now back to my update.
After work, I came home, called Betsy as I had promised I would and checked my Email. Kim emailed me saying Betsy told her I might be coming over and that she?d see me there if it was so and Betsy had emailed me saying it would be cool if I could come over after work. Betsy also emailed me her account but I did not read it then. I felt I should leave right away, so I changed out of my work clothes, had a quick wash, made sure my parents were OK with it, had to tell Mom a bit about what?s been going on since she?s clueless about certain things, and left before they could know that I heard Mom saying she doesn?t like the idea of me driving in the rain and other such motherly worries that show her love but not her trust in God. She is slowly gaining this.
I got to the girl?s place just in time for the worship video to start. I sat down next to Betsy. Everyone had bare feet. I got into worship. I took my shoes and watch off at some point. Betsy was lying with her feet towards me and I had a feeling I was going to rub her feet with oil. I tested to see if it was time to do it right then but could not get up. I continued worshiping until I was able to get up and promptly got my shoes on and told the girls I?d be back. I figured I?d go to Publix for the Oil but I told the Lord He could have my driving, my expectations, my feet, and my hands? I ended up going to Publix and asked which Oil I was to get because there were many different kinds. ?Extra Virgin Olive Oil? Sounded religious enough but it wasn?t the one He had me get. He had me get the biggest bottle there. I had a feeling it would get a lot of use and that it would be a glass one not a plastic one? anyway? I got it, went back, did a round around the apartment, went in, put the oil down and continued to worship. First I sat down next to Betsy again and took off shoes but this time my socks as well. Then I got the urge to get up just as Kim did and nodded to her, knowing she had been moved to dance. Not having the experience I do, she did not move the TV out of the way and ran into it. I should have moved it first but I did get it out of the way afterwards and she was ok. Even though you can trust the Holy Spirit to keep you safe while he moves you and leads you, it is still a good idea to move things out of the way... Speaking spiritually and physically?
Julie had come out to play? She sat down and enjoyed watching for a while? Kim had drawn a picture earlier? We were done dancing, the video of the concert was over, I was moved to set down pillows on the floor in a certain arrangement. The first person to go onto them was first at the foot rubbing. I did not know if it would be only Betsy or include the others. Betsy and Julie were talking next to them? Julie had asked why I had put the pillows down. I did not answer again. I hope she understands. I did not think that Julie would go down on the pillows and worried only for a sec. I trusted God and waited. Betsy said she felt like just falling on the pillows and did so. I said as I picked up the Oil, ?Well that makes you first? I put a towel down under her feet and proceeded. Julie sat down on the couch next to Kim and looked at her drawing and it was passed to Betsy while she was being anointed. After I was done with her, I sat and prayed for a while about if I was to do anyone else or if I was do be done or what. I got ?Wait.? This is not a surprise for me. We looked at some pictures on the Computer that were similar to Kim?s background that had to do with her dream. Julie went to bed. Kim showed me some artwork from her brother? major feelings there? Betsy was taking a shower during that time, came out and saw some of them, and went to bed. Kim and I sat on the Futon. I was still getting wait but not like a ?Wait?? more like a not really supposed to leave yet wait? I got a sick feeling in my stomach, throat and mouth like I had eaten something rotten and told her this. Kim came closer and put a hand on me and we continued to pray? we shared pictures we had gotten in the past or things that had happened? her hand felt like it was no longer touching my shoulder but melding with me? oneness of spirit or something? I talked about how it was a strange answer to my prayer of taking away my physical hunger? Kim eventually went to bed, I tried to get up when she got up but could not so she said I could stay as long as I needed to. When I had driven in, I prayed angels in with me. I prayed that many of them would go in with me. I prayed many of them into the rooms of the girls not just the living room. Kim saw a chain gang of little demons being marched out the front door. After she went to bed, I prayed for 5 angels to follow each of the girls who live there (2 to minister, 2 to guard and 1 to worship). The results were just as I should have expected but I always seem to expect more than I should which is being dealt with and will continue to be dealt with for the next few weeks. I had to wait there for about half an hour at the most but did not get much so it seemed like a long time. My prayer for the angels to follow them was toward the end and when I was able to get up, I locked the door on my way out. Driving home, I had to go the speed limit or slower most of the way? looked around at what places there were to eat around the area, which I haven?t done a lot. I was tired but when I got home, I ate a few sweets and went on the computer to talk to Kim I?m glad she gets online at the same time as I do. I only wish I had more contact with my other assignment?

Sunday 6-12-05
Topic: Day to day stuff
Sunday 6-12-15
He had been snoring that night and waking himself up every once in a while to say that he wasn’t really asleep and that he snores when he’s awake sometimes. Sandra came in bright and shiny telling about why she went in her room and how she fell asleep. She was overjoyed to find a hot spot and read something she was led out of the Bible after getting a picture of a reed waving in the wind. I’m a bit hazy on where she was when I woke up but at some point she started getting together some breakfast snacks. I enjoyed the fruit and bread but had been hoping for some a hearty meal of eggs and such… But who wants to cook a bunch after staying up most of the night? Others started to wake up. Julie had not gone to sleep at all and she shared about the tingling feeling she got in the extremities of her body. Uncomfortable and scary for her but her attitude has changed from a “This is really strange!” to “OK, God whatever you want to do” I prayed again for her to be able to press in. I’ve got to type up a list of prayer requests for my family. We ate and Julie wanted to go home. Brian had gone to church. Betsy got ready and eventually took Julie home. Mom and Dad went to church. Sandra took her girls to church, leaving a key for Kim and I if we left so we could lock the door from the outside. Kim and I slept until Brian came home. Then we continued to lie around. I think I woke up before her and was praying for her but she may have been awake at the time. Sandra came home with the girls and went to sleep. The girls played around and Brian asked them to stop playing their small keyboard while he rested on his chair. They climbed on me for a while; I told Kim I would need a back rub after that. (I had been wanting one the whole night and I found out later that she had been wanting to give me one the whole night but the time did not come until just before I left) After being “locked” in the girls room with the bored, clingy, Hanna, who just needed some love, I broke out of jail, went in the living room and sat down on the floor in front of the fireplace. I got my sketch kit together and tried to get something to draw. I figured if I drew, she’d settle down and draw some on her own. She marked my pad with a pencil which I wasn’t too happy about but she erased it when she saw me shake my head and I drew a young lady with her hands held out down to a child off the page. Then I drew butterfly wings on her in the rest of the page’s space. Hanna all the while kept asking me what I was drawing. Eventually she got some paper of her own and drew several drawings placing each one on top of my paper as I was trying to draw. I set each one aside and continued to draw in silence. I drew the couch and Kim sleeping on it next. Toward the end Hanna began to climb on my back and look on as I drew continuing to ask what it was. She didn’t mess me up too bad but at one point she tried smudging the drawing, as I was (to get the effect of smoothness on the couch) only she did it lightly over Kim’s face and I stopped her from doing it anymore. She didn’t do much damage and I only had to touch up the face a bit. I was able to finish the drawing in time to get my things together and change into my work clothes except for what I left in the car. Thankfully, Kim got up and asked me if I needed a back rub and I said yes. She was able to finish just in time for me to leave and get to work on time. Then of course I couldn’t find my keys and wallet even though they were in the same pocket that I had put them in and for some reason I just didn’t find them in that pocket until at least ten minutes later. So I got to work 9 minutes late, wasn’t able to actually start working until 20 minutes after that because I had to wait for someone to get done with what they were doing in the kitchen. I was very tired and did not get a break though I was scheduled to have one. I went home finally and typed up the answered prayers on my Blog. Kim Schmidt was online and wasn’t able to talk at first but later on, we talked and I felt I was to focus on praying and talking to her rather than typing up this massive entry…
Well Dad has asked me to get on the computer so he can check his Email, so this is a good place to take a break and take my brother to Game Stop like I promised him and then on to Home group and then I’ll finish this later on.

Sat 6-11-05
Topic: Day to day stuff
Prologue 8?P
When Brian and Sandra first mentioned the over night prayer and worship time, my first thought was of it starting at around dark and continuing through church the next morning. It ended up that it started at 4:00 PM on Sat. I was very glum about having to work from 3-9 and missing a chunk of the fellowshipping. I hope I will be able to read about what happened while I was not there. I had told one guy at work about what I was doing that night. He asked me how it went later on. “It was awesome” I replied but that is not the whole story. Indeed, the story could not fit in even that one full night.
Sat 6-11-05
I’m cleaning up at the end of work more meticulously even than usual because I had been told that Mr. Harrison (The manager of the whole store) would be the one to come check it that night. I did not get everything done but it looked very nice. I had to leave at 9 and when asked if there was any way I could stay and finish it, I made it clear that I had to be somewhere important.
Walking out to my car, I am already starting to rid myself of my workday including my apron and shirt. On the way, I continue to pray. I pray that I would do nothing except what God wants me to. This is what I have done ever since I had gone a step too far when I was told to sit at the fireplace next to Julie one Tuesday. I put my hand on her shoulder when I was not supposed to. Thankfully she stopped it instead of dealing with it. Going back to the topic. I get to the finks and park where I know I’ll be out of the way of others since I am usually one of the last to leave. I hang up my shirt and apron on the passenger seat; grab my bag of extra clothes out of the back seat and my backpack. I walk inside quietly, put my stuff down and get the rest of my clothes to change into. Coming out, I went to my backpack and noisily got out my sketch kit and Bible, opening the zippers as quietly as I could, not succeeding very well. I had already taken off my shoes at the door and relieved myself of my watch, wallet, and keys and put them in my extra clothes bag rather than my backpack earlier; so I was all ready to get into worship, so I thought. I sat down in front of the TV next to Betsy, my thoughts straying a little. Even with all I had done, praying all during work and telling myself that it was Ok that I missed the first 5 hours, I had not been able to prepare myself fully and still had a sulky attitude. After a while of this, I had to go to the bathroom and prayed in there that people would receive in there. I prayed that I would be able to receive even in there. Sometimes the best places to receive are away from everything else even if it seems a strange place. There were times, in Brazil, when I had to walk around outside the tent for a bit. Anyway, I walked out of the bathroom and could not go past the center of the hallway. I knelt down before I could be pushed down and opened my hands to receive what He was giving me. It felt like another time, Thursday, when I knelt down to be knighted. This was a bestowing of new armor, I thought. Really it was only getting a new weapon; a sword. I asked what this sword was (the last one was anointing) I waited for a very short time to hear what it was and began to play a guessing game with Him to find out what it was (not a very good show of patience). Every time I guessed wrong, I did a “Julie Side Jerk” (I call it this because of all the manifestations I’ve seen of the Holy Spirit, She’s the only one I’ve seen do a quick jerk with her head and sometimes torso to only one side. Only thing that comes close is a side bend usually accompanied with a “wooooe! Or the quick back and forth head shaking, sometimes involving the torso)” Of course she’s moved on to the “Chicken Jerk and Kick” and I’ve been doing this. Anyway for many of the wrong guesses, they were “Not Yet” rather than just “No.” What Irony! Heh, after playing this guessing game over many words, I find out that I’m getting something I prayed for and a different aspect of something I prayed for a long time ago. The one I had prayed for recently being gentleness, and the one I prayed for in Brazil being patience. Only this patience was specifically to wait on laying hands on people until it was the right time. This second one is going to be one I learn over time as all patience comes from perseverance through trial. The gentleness I felt was an instant thing and was excited to try it out. This also, I had to wait for. I’m able to get up now and I walk into the room where everyone is greeting each other since my mom and Aubrey came in toward the end of the former worship time, very noisily and saying “Hi,” Not being respectful to the quiet time of worship we were having. (This was the attitude that I had at the time) Now of course, I was doing better, added to my picture in a jagged way like adding lightning to my fire sword. “WAS ANOINTING, NOW IS PATIENCE AND GENTLEN…” (I ran out of room on my paper)
I was hungry, not only for food since I had a smaller meal than usual at work, but also for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. All through the night from the beginning of the first worship session, while in the bathroom and all through the rest of the night and on Monday at the girl’s house as well, I had the line from a song in my head “Let the Fire Burn, Let the Wind Blow” to which I added in the beginning and end to make “Let the Oil pour, let the Fire Burn, let the Wind blow, and the Rain fall down.” Only a portion of this began to happen as we locked arms in praise, prayer and unity of mind and heart. I believe for more of this tonight (Tuesday) especially since the oil has started to flow. I was between Betsy and Dad with locked arms, praying continually for a voice to well up in Betsy, Pressing in for Julie, and Kim… Jesus has Kim. I prayed for a fire to burn in our midst. Several hands were warm. After we had come down from standing, instead of locking arms and having my hands free, we had our hands and arms around each other’s backs. This is how I know that some hands were hot besides reports from others. At one point, I switched from Betsy to Brian who was on the other side of her. I don’t remember getting anything specific but after a while of that I went back to Betsy. During that time, I also prayed for wakefulness, spiritual awareness… These are the things I did not pray out loud. For some reason I do not remember what I said out loud or much of what anyone else prayed out loud. Those prayers went to the Lord. As I found out later on in the night after having a bite to eat and others had some coffee, speaking out your prayers is important. There is power in the tongue for Life and for Death. I continually ask God to prompt me when to speak out loud and when to keep quiet. The message about praying out loud was definitely for me. The other ones we watched were important as well but I especially enjoyed the African accent of very well spoken English reading of the King James Bible. Soft spoken, with passion and love was this man’s teaching on prayer.
I’m really fuzzy on what happened after the videos and I am not able to contact anyone because our line is messing up, doesn’t have long distance for Kim, Julie didn’t answer the phone and I just felt I should keep typing until it comes to me… I had already prayed before beginning to type this up that I would remember everything that I should put down. Alright… During the videos… ooh something did come back to me… Betsy wanted a back rub. OK… after we had our break, we came back in; Betsy got a back crack from Dad in waiting for the videos to start. I did the back rub while we watched the clips. She went to sit on the couch afterwards. Brandon then comes to lie down on the floor in front of the couch. I give him a nice hard, back rub since he can take it. Kim and Julie had started talking on the other side of the room. Mom, Dad and Aubrey began to go to sleep in the middle of the living room between us. Brandon stayed a bit longer. Julie had said that she felt like she just wanted to go to sleep before she got into the conversation. She never went to sleep that night. Betsy went over and joined their conversation. I felt I should stay. Hoping I would be able to hear what’s going on in Julie’s life. Brandon went in the other room to sleep. Kim went to pray for Brian. Julie came and laid on the couch next to me. Betsy came and laid on the back of the couch. Julie shared a little. I prayed, she jerked, Betsy laughed. We joked about Betsy falling on her and getting a head butt and probably a kick as well. Sandra had gone into her room to pray and we heard later that she got some sleep as well. I got up and walked around a bit and went to the bathroom. I came out and found Kim and Brian in a hot spot between the couch and the dining room. Kim was in catching position for obvious reasons, Brian was leaning back and forth, I joined in praying around him. Julie got up and stood at a short distance. I prayed for her to be able to press in. I felt the push as well but was able to stand, went behind Kim because she was looking unstable… I knew that if I laid hands on either of them that they would fall back but also knew that I was not supposed to. I was then moved away after moving a few pieces of furniture and such from around the area. I moved a chair away from Julie who asked what I was doing. I’m sorry I did not answer her. In cases such as these, I only silently do what I am led. Brian fell down and then Kim safely. Kim moved from the dining room to the other side of the wall between Brian and I. I had moved the chair into the hallway to the front door and was going to go back in but felt I had to stay in the doorway into the other hallway to block anything that might come that way on its way out the front door. It was the same chain gang idea that happened Monday at the girls house with a large angel watching all the little demons on their way out and a large angel with his sword drawn as well, behind me blocking the way to the Fink girl’s room or to the room Brandon was in. I prayed for Kim a bit, felt cold, put my arms in my shirt, curled up and went to sleep. When I woke up, Brian was gone, Betsy was still sleeping on the couch, Kim was on the other side of the wall in the dining room praying over the names of all the people we knew who are not saved, that we had written down on pieces of paper and put under the bread (This is a traditional thing that has some significant meaning for lack of the better word I can’t think of. I do not know the details of it however.) Julie was on the floor with a blanket bunched up on top of her. I wanted to pray for her but could not yet. I stood there praying, pacing. Julie spoke and asked me to spread the blanket over her. I gratefully did so and then sat down to pray between her and Betsy.

Tuesday Dad just got home from work and is disrupting my concentration but at least he hasn’t asked to go on the computer and check his email… yet.

Topic: Answered Prayer.
Two Sundays ago, I asked for annointing. God gave me a sword of Fire (The Spirit) and moved me the rest of the night to pass the annointing on to other people. As I was masaging Kim, listening to her conversation with Betsy and remembering Julie's report of the last time I masaged her, I prayed for gentleness. This Sat-Sunday after some worship and prayer, during a break time, I went to the bathroom, came back out and was heading back but could not even go to the other end of the hallway. Everyone was talking and greeting eachother in the room while I knelt in the hallway waiting and then recieving a new Sword. I knelt there for a while asking God what He was giving me. I played a guessing game with Him. I knew it was a sword of the Spirit so I went through different words that are of the Spirit. Power, No. Love, Not yet. Kindness, not yet. Goodness, no. I said a lot of other things that I do not remember that were not fruits of the Spirit but connected in some way... Eventually I was sure of what it was and now is. Gentleness and a different kind of patience that I don't get right away but have to learn through obedience. This kind of patience is for praying for people... or rather not praying for them even though I want to, until the time is right. As far as Gentleness goes, I'll have to get a report from Betsy. I also finally got a back massage just before I had to go to work. This also was an answer to prayer. Thank's Kim. Work was very tiring and I did not take my break and hadn't eaten hardly anything all day but at the end of my shift as I was walking out the door, a manager asked me what I was making. I had been wondering if they had changed my $/hr to $7.50 from $6 when I moved to Deli from being a bagger. I was thinking about asking about it but had forgotten by the time I actually was able to leave (I was looking forward to getting home.) I told her this and she said she would check into it tomorrow! Now I'm home and IMing with Kim who has just confirmed that my prayer for her to experience the presence of God this past weekend was answered. But that is her story and you know what Aslan says about people's stories. (Ask me if you don't and I'll tell you, or you can put in a comment if you do know the answer too)

Friday
Topic: Day to day stuff
Today I had many emails... most of them from the Finks telling one thing and then another and then retelling just to make sure, that we were having a sleep over at their house Sat-Sun and how they came to the decision etc. Betsy emailed asking if I wanted to do anything so I called her, got her voicemail, and left a message. She called me back a bit later and I went over to their place for only about an hour before I had to leave for work. It was a good hour though. I got there before her and made my rounds, I felt like I should wait on God before knocking or going in... So I sat on the steps and did not get anything. Betsy got there and I went in. I was very pleased to see Julie painting and almost giddy. On the way in, Betsy had mentioned something about it still smelling like a candle... I didn't understand and asked about it and she avoided it... Later I found out that someone had put flowers on their three cars, a candle (not lit for long) and some fake flowers at the front door... They all thought it was Thomas but haven't found out who did it for sure. As Kim was talking to Thomas over the phone, she asked him if he had done the yellow flowers the week before. I was not looking at her and mistakingly knoded. The real embarassing part is that I assumed that she saw me knod which she did not. A few seconds later, I made an even bigger mistake of confessing outloud in response to something Betsy said (I don't remember what it was) If you remember, put it on the comment line for me please. I was glad all they did was show their surprise and say SO IT WAS YOU! At that point I had to make it clear that I only did the Yellow flowers and not this occation. I was relieved when they didn't go into a lot of "Awe-thank-you's" because I was just doing what I was told. Durring that time, I also looked up the parable of the Sewer and the Seed where I found out that there were only four places that the seed fell. I had thought it was five so that it would go perfectly with Akiane's paintings of bears in the light, and Dolphins around a sunken shiny cross... In her's there are two groups that do not take in the seed. In the parable there is the path where the seed does not grow at all. In her paintings there are those who run away from the light/cross and those that are too selfish/hardened to notice it at all. The others see the light/cross but react to it differently. Link to this site I've been talking about of Akiane's Paintings and poetry from age 4-10 http://www.artakiane.com/akiane_art.htm#Akiane's Painting, sketches, and poetry I left for work and got there 2 minutes late which didn't matter because I had to wait forever to get the card from Alisha so I could clock in since I was called in to work not scheduled to work. I got 3 special tokens that I just found out about today, that Publix gives if you work 100+% as I always do. I found out that when you get 5 of these, you can hand them in for 5 dollars... I'm like... wonderful... how about a 5 cent raise every time? well anyway, I also found out that I have to work Sat. 3-9 and there isn't much of a way I could get out of it other they calling in sick which I will only do if I'm deathly ill... and can not function. So I will have to try to get off as early as I can to join in the fun at the sleep over. Not that I will be doing much different because I pray while I cook the chicken and clean up while working in the Delli, but the surroundings and the people at home group are much more condusive to opening the gates of Heaven, ushering in His presence, and doing some major Spiritual stuff. My co-workers are less inclined to speak positive things, and like to have a good time in other ways. I will shine forth.