My guide to the Presidential Elections
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Letter Bomb-Green Day
So with all this talk about swing states, undecideds and voting controversy (see ohio with the suppresion of democrat votes or Nevada with the disposal of hundreds of voter registration forms...all democrats. Hmmm...seems like kathryn harris is a busy woman) I have decided to do my part in helping voters decide between a giant dueche (john kerry) and a turd sandwich (george w. bush). Thank you south park. Anyways, so after weeks and months (actually hours) of scouring the internets (bushism) I have created a slideshow type of deal that will make fun of both candidates. Hopefully you will come to your senses by the end of it and vote for Kerry. I mean what? Who said that?
A vote for Bush is a vote for an animal hater. He drops puppies in front of school children and then laughs about it. Then he pees on the kids like R. Kelly.

A vote for Bush is a vote for a moron. Just see his test results. For Shame President Bush for shame.

A vote for Bush is actually a vote for carl rove. In case you haven't seen or heard about this check out the wire running from Bush's ear down his back. Rove is the puppetmaster. Bush is the lovable idiot.

A vote for Bush is a vote for his lying cronies. That Ann Coulter is one hot right wing wacko. Further proving my theory that all women are stupid when it comes to politics and they should be put on a chain that allows them to go from the kitchen, to the bathroom and then the bedroom. Was that sexist?

A vote for Bush is a vote for Cheney. And who doesn't like a man like Dick? I know I like to be threatened with a possible terrorist attack if I vote for Kerry. Smooth. Real smooth.

Remember when he (cheney) said that he had never met Edwards prior to their debate? Photographic proof that this was a TOTAL flippin lie.

Ever wonder why Bush has such a hardon for war? I did, then I started looking at pictures of Bush. I now know why he is trying to rule the world...

I mean honestly, who didn't know that Bush had the ring of power. How else could he trick Blair (playing the role of king theoden) into doing his will? Well, here comes the cavalry to rescue middle earth er I mean the U.S.
Its Treebeard or John Kerry if you will. He also looks a lot like some other well known figures.

Remember when Kerry chose edwards as his runningmate? Remember how they were really IN to eachother? I do.

I don't know about you, but I want my president and VP to dress up like the ambiguously gay duo. Or batman and robin...

Remember, a vote for Kerry is a vote for the Botox union.

Kerry and Edwards both made their money by being lawyers (well not Kerry) but they were both lawyers. Which may or may not be a good thing.

so what about that global test?

So about the waffling/flip-flopping issue. Who doesn't change their minds? I know I change my mind all the time. Vote Bush. I mean Vote Kerry. Did I just say Vote Bush? Excuse me while I go slit my wrists and listen to dashborad confessional. Onto the flipflopping.

I don't know about you, but I want a smart president. I define smart in many different ways. John Kerry is a smart man. Marrying an extremely rich woman for her dead husbands money is VERY smart.

Vote for Kerry because he loves Quizno's!

But what it all boils down to is this: what are the differences between the twoand do you agree with them? Bush went to Yale. Kerry went to Yale. Bush is a member if the elite skull and bones club. So is Kerry. Bush lies about everything, but he is consistent with his lies and he stands behind them. Kerry lies about everything. But he doesn't stand behind his lies and he promises to lie differently. Bush is isnanely rich and tries to appeal to Nascar dads. He comes off as a west texas bumpkin. HE IS NOT. Kerry is insanely rich. He tries to appeal to rational people that are not weak minded and easily fooled by Bush and his cronies. He comes off as an intellectual. Which means he is a dick to the common idiot.

SO you see, we really are voting for the same thing. Not really. Bush is an a-hole. He is a terrible human being and a terrible president. And he hates puppies. Bring down the ring of power! VOTE KERRY!