Worst Advertising Campaign Ever
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Alright, so as some of you may know, I have been compared to a raccoon. Mostly because I became nocturnal and rummaged through garbage towards the end of last year. Well, I have come to embrace the majestic raccoon and all of its splendor. While I like raccoons, I find that even something as glorious as this little fella

Has his negative points. One being that raccoons are not picky animals. I mean, they rummage through garbage and pick fights with my dog for crying out loud. They are like the desparate yet loveable drug addicts of the world...stealing food to feed their families.

This is why it puzzles me that the home of the square burger (sorry White Castle) has decided to use my brethren to sell their food.

I mean, seriously, this has to be the dumbest advertising ploy ever.
First, raccoons rummage through garbage as I have previously stated.
Second, they are animals and that automatically means that their decision-making abilities are severly impared. I mean, would you trust your dog's taste in food when he licks his own ass? Of course not.
Third, raccoons, as far as I am aware of, cannot speak, which means that these commercials are completely farsical and this only brings shame to all parties involved, especially wendy's.
Fourth, I fucking hate wendy's. I don't trust little redheaded girls and I don't trust dave thomas, even if he is dead, which I doubt he is. I don't want some creepy old man and his freckled daughter selling me food. In fact, I don't like ANY character selling me food, especially fast food. Unless it happens to be count chocula. That guy kicks ass.

Seriously, Fuck Wendys.