Inspiration
While there IS a secret double meaning to my diary entry's title, it is known to only ONE person.
Today, i shall add a new gallery. It will be known as "Blingin' it, Muthafucka". I dont know where this idea came from, but its quality.
I may add a whole new section over time, but only if Warno provides me with some pimp secrets to divuldge.
I cant wait to get to work.
Now, if you want to have a lot of fun, repeat after me: Pimp pimp Pimpitty PIMP! Pimp pimp Pimpitty PIMP! Pimp pimp Pimpitty PIMP! Pimp pimp Pimpitty PIMP! Pimp pimp Pimpitty PIMP! Pimp pimp Pimpitty PIMP! Pimp pimp Pimpitty PIMP! PIMP PIMP PIMP PIMP WHORE!

New Years!
Yes, at midnight tonight, where will YOU be?
Will you be out molestin' bunnies?
Will you be drinking champagne with total strangers?
Will you lose your virginity after a new years kiss gone too far?
Will you be asleep?
Im going to my girlfriends party. We plan to fall asleep on the armchair.
I REPEAT, FALL ASLEEP.
And i need a way to cover up those bite marks on my neck. Oh, the disadvantages of dating the undead.
You know, im even paler than usual, due to the blood loss. Im practically a goth style icon.
Anyway, have a good time tonight, DONT get drunk with total strangers, DO be awake at midnight.

Another late entry
Well, sorry again for the late entry, but im sure you can forgive me. In apology for this transgression of your faith i plan to add a whole new section to the site.
Rabbits!
Nuff sed.
The reason for my late entry is Aoife. Aoife and my general laziness. Well, general laziness, actually, but i SWEAR she was the reason for the last one. Anyway, im off to do some rabbits. Anyone want to join me?

Boxing Day
For all those who also have misconceptions about the name of the 26th Dec...
1)Wrap your hands! Its amazing the amount of professionals who simply cannot wrap their hands! Without your hands properly wrapped, you will suffer terribly as your hands get damaged.
2)Unwrap your hands! How do you expect to move the chess pieces with those huge balls of fabric around your wrists?
VISIT http://www.wcbo.org/ For an idea of what drug im on.

Xmas
Yay!
Have a good christmas, filled with fun, good presents, and a lack of badness.
Im not feeling too chrismassy myself, but we are eating turkey.
Finally, i get to say "Give us a bit of breast, c'mon, i haven't had any yet!"
Not that that would be strictly true.
Hows about "Stuffed the bird, didya dad?"
"Just spread the legs and ease it in."
"I love a bit of leg."

Where?
I've lost THE HAT.
For those that dont know, THE HAT is my headgear of choice. Unlike my spiky hair, it takes only a few seconds to arrange and unlike my natural hair it's not gay-looking.
It feels like a part of my person is missing.
How will people recognise me without the characteristic bad-ass beanie-like hat? How will they know who i am without the familiar black and white ying yang with drawn-on red spiky bits?
How will i scare people shitless with eyeless stares?
It better fucking turn up soon or i'll kill someone.
And my hair will look gay while i do it.

The new guy
This film kicks ass.
Where else can you learn the PERFECT crazy eyes?
Where else does the line "Who's the biatch NOW?" come more than TEN times?
Which other film has Faith from buffy in the SMALLEST bikini you ever werent paying attention to?
And which other film has her in that for more than 5 MINUTES?
And to add to the fun, aoife was there.
Btw, the party sucked ass. Bcoz i wasnt allowed to invite the usual horde of compatriots (my sister was ALSO having a party), the usual madness did not take place and everyone just sat around eating crisps and playing with aoifes belly. Well, i did.
And THEN it turns out my sister did in fact bring only ONE friend home about an hour before my party ended. Life sucks.

I like pixtures
Yeh, so there is now a pic of me where i am not blinking. It should go up on the website soon. Be warned, apparently i look evil (shucks!) and Aoife looks crazy (normally she just doesnt look it).
And NO, we are NOT NAKED.

The real in the end
Linkin Park

In The End

(It starts with)
A nut sling
I don?t know why
Uneven batter, cows are hard to fry

Keep that in mind
I reshined his lime
To refrain from doin' time

(All my 'fros)
Kind of a valuable thing
Droppin' my fly and my "pendulum" swings
Watch it drop down to the end of the day
The crotch then flies away
It?s so unreal

Midget, look out below
Watch me Tae-Bo right out the window
Tryin' the gold thong
But it didn?t even glow
Wasted it all just to
Watch Yugos

I slept everyday inside and we know I cried
when my balls fell apart
What this little seed will eventually
be a rimmer tree
and it rhymed when I cried

so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

My hat's too small
Too loose, and tall
But in the end, my head is even hatter

A butt rings
I don?t know why
It doesn?t even matter how far it flies

Keep that in mind
I reclined in pine
To repine myself
how I sighed so hard

In spite of the way you were floppin' me
Acting like I was part of your flopperty
Remembering all the times you flopped with me
I?m surprised it flopped so far

Meats aren?t the way they were before
You wouldn?t even recognize meat anymore
Not that you knew meat back then
But it all comes back to meat in the end

(chorus)

I put my trust
in poo
Watch how far ass pie can go
And for all this
There?s only one thing you should know

(repeat)

(Chorus)

MASTER AND COMMANDER OF THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD!
Thats right. Say it in a big manly voice.
"MASTER AND COMMANDER OF THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD". I bet Russel Crowe beat up someone to keep the last seven words in.
Me and Aoife went to see that movie in a hope for a lightly intellectual french love story. Instead we get CANNONS, SAILORS, NAPOLEONIC SURGERY and LOTS OF FREUD.
(Freud was that psychologist who thought everything was to do with penises. Mast=Penis, Gun=Penis, Cannon=Big penis, Ship=Captains penis).
And its such an awful film we only managed to watch the opening. Which was almost identical to Pirates of the Carribean, except without JOHNNY DEPP (who is the man).
Thank god they didnt put in ORLANDO BLOOM, the poor prettyboy would probably have been gang-raped the second he set foor in THE NAVY.