MASTER AND COMMANDER OF THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD!
Thats right. Say it in a big manly voice.
"MASTER AND COMMANDER OF THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD". I bet Russel Crowe beat up someone to keep the last seven words in.
Me and Aoife went to see that movie in a hope for a lightly intellectual french love story. Instead we get CANNONS, SAILORS, NAPOLEONIC SURGERY and LOTS OF FREUD.
(Freud was that psychologist who thought everything was to do with penises. Mast=Penis, Gun=Penis, Cannon=Big penis, Ship=Captains penis).
And its such an awful film we only managed to watch the opening. Which was almost identical to Pirates of the Carribean, except without JOHNNY DEPP (who is the man).
Thank god they didnt put in ORLANDO BLOOM, the poor prettyboy would probably have been gang-raped the second he set foor in THE NAVY.

School play
Tonite im off to see what may be the worlds greatest school play ever.
But i dont have a ticket.
Who thinks i can charm my way through? Place your bets...

The entry with no name
This is an entry which i posted because im bored. Bored and intensely loyal to my readers.
So, im still ill, but im goig to school because im a masochist.
Also, ummmmmmmm, me and eefa were two weeks yesterday...officially long-term by my standards.
My short-term relationships are four hours, my mid-term four days, and my long term four months. I like fours(omes).

I know i was off school, theres no reason to ask if i was.
You know when you're rolling on the floor in agony, the first thing that someone says is always "Are you ok?"
Well, they're just showing they care.
But when you're off school, wouldnt it be extremely obvious that you know you were, and thus theres no point double checking.
Still, thanks to Chris, Rory, and Steph, for showing that they care.
That list of names better be added to soon.

Life sucks, man
Yet another magical night with my wonderful girlfriend. Considering i have a sore throat and an incredible headache, thats saying something for her therapeutic capabilities.
Im writing this at 12.05ish after midnight on saturday because i want to.
Nuff sed.
Anyways, other than that, i also played a lot of guitar today. Amazing how much fun you can have with two frets if you just play really fast with your amp turned as high as it will go.
If i had overdrive and reverb i think i would have deafened the neighbours with "My own summer" by now, but sadly my amp has no such features, leaving the Deftones masterpiece sadly deflated.
Well, enough of my crap, i gotta update the site.

Chortle, its a funny word for a reaction to funniness.
So, me and me beautiful gf go to my school fair.
We see the sights, we look at the crap games, and we lean up against radiators trying to get some privacy.
Needless to say, we were kicked out for being too cozy, lol.
SO, THEN we went for a walk through ballymoney, looking for a nice spot to...anyway, looking for a nice spot.
But it had been raining, and there was fog, so nothing was dry.
But i sacrificed myself by leaning my back agains a sort of dry tree.
Then we continued our walk.
We came back to the tree and found that the spot had been taken by half-drunk dealers. So we moved on.
We found a convienent telegraph pole and just as we were getting warm again, my technology teacher bursts out of his car (pervert) and tells aoife she left her bus pass in Dalriada.
It went on like that the whole night.
But it was funny as hell.
*Chortle*

Tis wednesday, feast of saint Wednez
What is culture?
Culture is "the sum of everything we do that we don't have to." to quote a guy who was smart but who's name i can't remember.
Thus, northern ireland has a great head-kicking and pertol-bombing culture.
And now you see why they nominated Belfast as European City of Culture.

I am the man. Nuff said
Today, i was faced with a problem. I had a cup of tea (two sugars, milk). This tea was in my right hand. Because thats where my tea goes.
Now, here comes the tricky bit. In front of me, i had a packet of chocolate chip cookies, and a packet of rich teas. Which do i pick up with my only remaining hand, considering they are of equal yumminess?
Duh.
I, in my infinite wisdom, put DOWN the tea, piled the cookies on TOP of the rich teas, and used my mind powers to bring both items into the room where i am typing this update.
God, i can sure bullshit when im too thick to think of a good update.

Yes, i know, no pics of the girlfriend, my apologies
There have been a huge number (1) of complaints that there are no pictures of my gf on the site. Fuck off, shes mine.
Anyway, today there has been 1 orgy, 55 fanny-kicks, 3 guys kneed in the balls, 1 girl smacking me on the head with a giant green dildo, 4 people piling on a guy who subsequently fell down the side of the bed and got stuck, 1 midget, and for some bizarre reason coleraine was filled with beautiful women.
I love hanging out with my weird friends.

Hmmmmmmm, yellow tights
Im a very happy boy.
Why?
Because i saw Elf tonight.
It really is a must see movie. The plot is fantastic and the legs are great.
"What legs?" I hear you ask.
The legs of the aforementioned beautiful girlfriend.