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By Craven Moorehead
MIHOP Daily News Staff Writer
Friday, January 3, 2003

(Montclair, VA) The Wafflegate scandal continues to grow, when MIHOPUAC Chairman Geoff Hulsey announced he would be subpoenaing all three of the accused members to give full testimony before his committee. Secretary Pro Tempore Cullen has reportedly fled the country to avoid being forced to testify.

Chairman Hulsey released a statement saying "The MIHOP Constitution gives me the power to find those who do not like IHOP, and Mr. Cullen is one of those members. In order to find him, I have decided to create a Grand Army of the MIHOPUAC, a clone army. They will scour the earth looking for him, and not rest until he is seated before my committee."

Meanwhile, Secretary of State McMahon, and Music Director Miller have hired attorney Johnny Cochran to prepare their defense, and advise them during their MIHOPUAC testimony. The only member available for comment on this story was Kathryn Floyd, who had been visiting her "father" in Richmond since the scandal broke, saying "I think the country would have been a lot better off if we had elected Strom Thurmond in 1948, and we wouldn't have had all those problems later," then added "I think I'd like to try anal sex," although this reporter declined her offer.