| |
| |
| |
| "You got the wrong number." Miami Harold, Editor |
Volume 1, Issue 10 October 10, 2002 |
| H O M E-------D I S C L A I M E R-------A R C H I V E S-------R E A D - A - L E T T E R------S E N D - A - L E T T E R |
|
|
|
|
|
|
FORT WORTH, Texas --In an effort to cut costs, counterfeiters are now using their money straight off the press, much to the confusion of store owners.
Zhingshwa, Korea --After numerous studies showing that women exhibited extra-human strength when trapped under an automobile, Korean doctors quickly went to work to transform that psychology to benefit the birthing process...the result, shown above, is a new method for birthing called "La Mazda".
WASHINGTON, District of Columbia -- "What the fuck do you want?".
PINGHU, China --"Girls Gone Wild" goes to China...name of shows translates into "Schwee Zhon Pey", which means, "Hairless Boys Who Don't Require Umptious Amounts Of Deodorant Go Slightly Gaga".
|
|
This letter was submitted by "Faye" 
"To whomever that wrote the disgusting piece about our President's breath and to his or her supervisor. You are so biased and blind . Your are the typical Liberal journalist , one of many misguided liberals in this country.
You deserve to live in Cuba where you will not be able to enjoy our freedom
of speech. I guess you are still angry that your Socialist AL GORE FRIEND WAS NOT
ABLE TO STEAL THE PRESIDENCY. Get A life be thankful to god that you don't live in Iraq , saying
things like this about Sad am will result in permanently loosing your tongue.
I bet you don't dare to say thing like this about Democrats if you do you know they make you disappear very fast like the long lists of people with premature mysterious death during the Clinton Gore years. Your comments about president Bush's breath is worse than anything I
have ever seen in Miami Harold , you deserve to get fired. I am going to complain to the editorial board of Miami Harold and I will send this to all my friends to boycott your paper and to make sure that all my Democrats and Republican friends get to the pole and vote for Jab Bush."
 First of all, thank you very much for sending this website to all your friends...I really appreciate the patronage. Secondly, there's no need to complain to my editorial board, which happens to be my mom. She was freaking wigging out when she read your letter...super-pissed at me for being Liberal...please take this apology on behalf of all the people that should be living in Cuba (as opposed to the people who are just there and don't leave). Still...although you are right in many ways...President Bush's breath was described to me as being "stank". Please refer to the photograph inset in my reply...this man's eyeballs burst into rivers of blood when he got to close to Bush's mouth vapors...this photo was taken moments his eyes blew up...I used an electrostatic imaging cathode ray tube to enhance the atmosphere surrounding this hapless victim so that anything that smelled like Nell Carter's ass in a microwave would appear smoky white. All I can say after reviewing this completely refutable evidence is, "I rest my case". Don't get me wrong...I love Jab Bush's brother...the man just needs to buy some Listerine.
|
|
Volume 1
Issue 1 Issue 2 Issue 3 Issue 4 Issue 5 Issue 6 Issue 7 Issue 8 Issue 9 Issue 10 |
Like the site? Vote for Miami Harold!
WASHINGTON, District of Columbia -- President Bush was in the middle of talking tough this week when he thought he saw none other than Saddam Hussein in the press-filled room. Bush totally freaked out because, as one informed source told us, "he suddenly realized all this shit he was talking and knew this guy wanted to totally kick his ass". As it turns out the Hussein look-a-like was just that guy from "The Monk" who was doing some on-location shooting.
VAN NUYS, California -- I was flipping around the stations this week when I happened to catch Robert Blake, star of "Beretta", in what appeared to be a new courtroom drama. In the episode I saw Blake, who apparently is using his same name, is on trial for the murder of his wife...OK...sounds good. But it was all downhill from there...the whole show took place in one room...they only used one camera...and the camera didn't even move! The whole time it was this unknown actor named Harland Braun (which, by the way, that name doesn't even sound remotely realistic) who was going "blah blah" the whole time. I was hoping for some kind of a flashback...or maybe we'd see Robert Blake taking a prison shower...but none of that happened. Bottom line: this show sucked rats.