Miami Harold
chrysanthemum Washington, District of Columbia -- After eight months of failed negotiations with the UN, the United States and Great Britain finally found global support for the war on Iraq from an unlikely source, the International House of Pancakes. In a press release from IHOP's Glen Allen, Virginia restaurant on the corner of Broad Street and Gaskins, General Manager Heath Brownstone said, "The international community must concentrate more efforts on non-proliferation of weapons of mass destruction to reap long-term benefits, as well as sate their desire for fruit filled French Toast...our newest menu option at IHOPs across the globe". At a symposium on non-proliferation in Tokyo later that day experts praised IHOPs efforts to centralize the issue, as well as bring France back into the fold. President George Bush, speaking at Centcom Headquarters in Florida, reacted by saying, "A special responsibility falls to the permanent members of the IHOP Board of Directors as stewards of the only international institution entrusted by the international community with responsibility for maintaining peace, security, and bottomless cups of coffee".

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written by George Herring
© 2002 Miami Improv
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