Tequila Lobotomy

https://www.angelfire.com/ct2/jellobrothers/tequilalobotomy.html

Entry penned by Aggroman

Meet Tequila Lobotomy. Born Alejandro Fallon in Mexico, he crawled across the border after falling from the back of his father's makeshift gyrocopter (a house with rotors on top). Raised by a family of tumbleweeds, he grew to be short and tall...and round. And wispy. But I digest.

In the early 1600s, he claimed what is now Oklahoma for himself. But, at the age of six, he was unprepared for the responsibilities of the job. He was found and raised by JELLO settlers, who named him "Tequila Lobotomy", after the only two things that could have led to a child like him.

He lived a chaste (no, wait, that's chased) life, until the age of viente, when he met Zionna, Queen of the Mole People. She was a JELLO Brother who helped found the Oklahoma sect of the JBs. She was 43 years old. They fell madly in bed and produced 11 beautiful children and 3 dwarves.

He was also an amateur inventor. He invented several pick-up lines that failed miserably, like "You are just truly, absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean too?" and "Are you Mexican? Me too, let's ****." But his greatest invention also led to his death.

Tequila Lobotomy, like many JELLO Brothers, was arrested for supposedly antiAmerican activities, like Full Contact Rock-Paper-Scissors, and the always-controversial Jugular Stomp. But, unlike many JELLO Brothers, when he was brought in, he had a full size German shepherd protruding from his mid-section. The dog, alive and quite healthy, had its head and front legs sticking out of his abdomen, its hindquarters out his back. When questioned, he said that the dog had been there for days, "ever since I walked in front of that blasted dog cannon."

The authorities then returned to his house, and found a fully functional dog cannon loaded with a dozen Golden Retrievers and a handful of Bijons. He confessed that his greatest invention had been in operation for years, and made him a fortune.

He died at the JELLO Brothers Olympics, when the German shepherd ran for the pepperoni, during the "Raw Meat Toss." The dog tore himself from Tequila Lobotomy, and he died. With the sound of a bag full of chicken soup hitting the ground after being tossed from a sixth floor balcony.

His greatest contribution to the JELLO Brothers has been this story. Thank you, and I'll leave you with one of his favorite quotes: "I could hit his house with a greyhound from here."

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