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| REACHING OUT BY TIMA |
CHAPTER 60 |
PREVIOUSLY:
Todd: Like you could ever stop me from being with you every second.
Tea: I'm sure I'll try.
Todd: I'm sure you'll fail.
[They continue their drive to the hotel Todd chose for their evening together, despite their mutual nervousness about all that may occur during their first night away from the rehabilitation clinic.]
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REACHING OUT
chapter 60:
[As they enter their hotel suite, Tea immediately regrets her decision to go along with Todd's idea of spending the night away from the rehabilitation clinic.]
Tea: We should leave.
Todd: You haven't even checked the place out yet. They told me this whole place is accessible. If it isn't, I'm buying the hotel and firing everybody.
Tea: I don't feel comfortable about this. I'm not ready.
Todd: We don't have to do anything tonight.
Tea: It isn't just...physical intimacy. I'm not ready for you to help me with...private things.
Todd: You're moving in with me. I'll have to do that stuff for you then.
Tea: Let's wait. Maybe by then I'll be able to do more for myself and I might have better control over my body. It won't be as bad.
Todd: Anything that I do for you, you can do for me. We'll be even.
Tea: You'll let me place a suppository in your behind?
[Tea knows from his facial expression that their experiences won't be mutual.]
Tea: Take me back to the clinic.
Todd: I can do this.
Tea: What if there's an accident...during...?
Todd: I said we don't have to do that.
Tea: What were you hoping to accomplish tonight?
Todd: I just wanted to get you out of that place for a while.
Tea: Is this a test-run to see how bad it is? If I fail, will you give up on the idea of us living together?
Todd: We're living together. You already agreed. You can't get out of it now.
Tea: I have a feeling, after tonight, you'll suddenly have an impossible time finding a place for us. Okay, Todd, let's do this. I'll really show you what it would be like for you if you keep pushing me to live with you.
Todd: I'm not afraid.
Tea: You should be.
Todd: It doesn't matter. None of it matters to me.
Tea: It will.
Todd: Don't you get it, Delgado? Nothing can happen here tonight that could keep me away from you.
Tea: You don't know.
Todd: I know all about it. That sadistic doctor of yours showed me a film. You should have seen it. It was gross.
Tea: If watching a film about this was gross, experiencing it first-hand will be infinitely worse. This isn't a film. This isn't something distant, happening to someone else. This is real. This is happening to me.
Todd: I can do all the stuff they told me I'd have to do.
Tea: But, you don't want to. I know you don't.
Todd: I'm fine. You're the only one having problems with this.
Tea: You won't want to be with me anymore after tonight. Do you understand that?
Todd: You're wrong.
Tea: You won't love me, not in the same way.
Todd: Maybe I'll love you more...better...whatever.
Tea: Do you really believe that?
Todd: I don't know. They told me people bond over this kind of stuff.
Tea: Some may. Most relationship's don't survive this.
Todd: Ours will.
Tea: What if it doesn't? Maybe, if we don't do this, we could have more time together.
Todd: I don't want a bunch of strangers around us all the time. I want it to be just you and me again...the way it was.
Tea: Was it really all that good?
Todd: Yeah...for me.
Tea: I enjoyed our time together, too...most of the time. This isn't how I want to be with you. I don't want you to have to take care of me. I don't want to be dependent on you.
Todd: Why not? I depend on you.
Tea: That's different.
Todd: You don't want to feel exposed to me, right? You don't want to feel like I'm seeing stuff that you think is gross. I feel that way with you all the time.
Tea: This isn't the same.
Todd: It feels like it is.
Tea: You don't know what this feels like.
Todd: Starr hates my guts right now, but I used to change her diaper and she never acted embarrassed around me because of it.
Tea: You never changed her diaper. You always had the nanny do it...or me.
Todd: I paid you both a ton of money. I just wanted to get my money's worth. But, I did change her diaper, lots of times. It never messed up our relationship.
Tea: Changing your daughter's diaper and helping your lover in the bathroom, or having your lover have an accident while being intimate, are quite different things.
Todd: If I had an accident, you wouldn't dump me, would you?
Tea: You wouldn't have one. You have control over your body.
Todd: Not when I'm around you. I meant what I said earlier...we don't have to do anything tonight, but I want to. I want to be with you again. I want to find ways to touch you that make you forget everything else.
Tea: That's impossible.
Todd: Let me try.
Tea: What if I end up losing you?
Todd: You won't. I promise.
Tea: You can't promise me that.
Todd: I just did.
Tea: I know I'll lose you if I allow this.
Todd: Trust me. I used the T word. You have to do it now, right? That's always been the rule when you use the T word with me.
Tea: This is different from everything we've ever been through together.
Todd: I almost lost you. I can handle anything I need to handle so it's just you and me, forever.
Tea: You can't hide from everyone else forever.
Todd: Why not?
Tea: Because, you don't want to.
Todd: If I agree to try again with Starr, will you agree to let me take care of you?
Tea: That's unfair.
Todd: You can't say no. You have to do what I want. What's unfair about that?
[Tea's smile informs Todd that they will be spending the evening together at the hotel.]
to be continued...
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2002 COPYRIGHT BY TIMA
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