 |
 |
|
| E-mail this page to a friend | Tell me when this page is updated |
| IN SICKNESS BY TIMA |
CHAPTERS 51 - 55 |
Tea: I have to go. I need to take this time, I really do. While I'm gone I don't want you to be alone.
Todd: I lived here alone before you moved in.
Tea: This has been a difficult time for you lately and I don't think you should be here alone right now.
Todd: Then stay.
Tea: I have to go. I'll only be gone a few days and then I'll be back. We can talk more then. We can try to figure this out together.
Todd: Whatever.
[Tea goes inside and phones Viki. After a brief phone conversation Tea returns and sits next to Todd again. Neither of them speak as they wait for Viki to arrive.]
**************************
[Viki finally arrives. Tea slowly stands up and faces Todd.]
Tea (nervous): Um, do you want... Would it be okay...if maybe we...hugged...or something?
[Todd stands up and reaches his arms out toward Tea. They awkwardly begin to embrace, both holding the other as tight as they can.]
Tea: I'm coming back. This isn't good-bye.
Todd (ending the embrace): Yeah, I'll believe that when I see you again.
Tea (touching his face): Believe me now. I'm not giving up on us. I'll see you in a few days.
[After kissing Todd briefly on his cheek, Tea turns and walks toward her car. She approaches Viki, who has stayed at a distance to give them some privacy.]
Tea (with a determined voice): I'm coming back.
Viki: I hope you do but if you know you won't be back I think that it would be better for him to know that now.
Tea (looking back at Todd): I love him. You may not believe that, and he may not even believe that, but that is the truth. I will be back. He's the most important person in my life. (looking at Viki) He's my family.
Viki: If you don't mind my asking, if he's that important to you and if you know how difficult this time is for him then why are you leaving him right now?
Tea: I need some time to think about things.
Viki: And you can't do that here?
Tea: No, I can't. Forgive me, Viki, but you don't know what it's like. You have no idea what it's like to live with him right now, to be in love with him. When he rejects you what do you do? You leave. You go home. This is my home. There's no place for me to go. I don't get to go home and get my energy back before trying to deal with him again.
Viki: Is that what this is? You need a break to get your energy back?
Tea: It's that and it's more than that. All that I'm asking for is three days. That's all. Todd has taken a lot more than that when he's needed it. At least I'm telling him that I'm leaving and I'm telling him how long I'll be gone. He may not believe that I'm coming back but I am.
Viki: And if you don't?
Tea: I will. I just got my life back and the only person that I want to spend it with is Todd. I'll be back in a few days.
[Tea quickly walks to her car and drives away. Viki approaches Todd.]
Viki: Why don't you stay with me for a few days, okay?
Todd: If I have to.
Viki: Go upstairs and get some clothes and whatever else you'll need.
Todd: No.
Viki: Well, you can't wear the same clothes for days.
Todd: I've done it before.
Viki: Todd...
Todd: I can't go up there if Tea isn't there.
Viki: Would it be all right then if I went up and packed some of your clothes for you?
Todd (leading Viki into the house): Okay. I'll get Moose.
[Todd and Moose move in with Viki. Todd in the usual guest room he uses when he stays with Viki and Moose in his old bedroom. Viki spends the entire first evening with Todd trying to distract him. He isn't very communicative when she tries to have a conversation with him so she suggests they play a board game together but Todd is too distracted remembering the times he played Money Hungry with Tea that he can't focus on the game and Viki finally gives up and they both go to their separate bedrooms
Todd has a horrible night. He barely sleeps. The little sleep he does get is restless. He wakes up more than once in a panic because he's searching for Tea in his dreams and can't find her. Unlike the previous times in recent months that he's had similar dreams this time Tea isn't in bed with him when he wakes up, she really is gone...somewhere that he can't find her.
In the morning, Viki finds a grumpy Todd pacing in her living room. Thinking that Todd needs to get out of the house she suggests that they have breakfast together at the Palace. Todd hates the idea but he thinks Viki might be less likely to push him to open up to her in public so he agrees.
At the restaurant, Viki and Todd are seated. Viki is trying to have a pleasant conversation with Todd who, of course, is not cooperating. As Viki jabbers on, Todd's mind is distracted as he tries to figure out where Tea would have gone and how he can find her. When Todd sees Nora enter the restaurant he suddenly jumps out of his chair and quickly approaches Nora as she takes her seat at a table on the other side of the room. Viki quickly follows after him.]
Todd: Where's Tea?
Nora: Did you misplace your wife again?
Todd: Where is she?
Viki: Todd, come back to the table.
[Viki tries to pull on Todd's arm to get him to return to their table but he refuses to move.]
Todd: I want to know where she is.
Nora: Even if I knew where Tea was I certainly wouldn't tell you. If she's finally come to her senses and left you I'm glad. She deserves better than you.
Todd: You tell me where the hell my wife is, right now.
Nora: Viki, maybe you should do something about your brother before I have to ask the management to throw him out.
Viki (stepping in front of Todd and physically stopping him as he moves toward Nora): I apologize, Nora. My brother is just concerned about his wife. If you know where she is could you just ask her to call him so he can know that she's all right?
Nora: Is she missing her treatment?
Viki: Actually, there's been good news. Tea's cancer is gone and she's finished all of her treatments.
Nora: That's great. (to Todd) And the first thing she did was leave you? (to Viki) Honestly, Viki, I don't know where she is.
Viki (to Todd): She doesn't know anything. Let's go back to our table and have breakfast, okay?
Todd (to Nora): Where's your kid?
Nora (surprised): Matthew?
Todd: No. Your other kid. The one that offed that pregnant lady. Or, is she still in prison?
Nora: Viki, I don't have to put up with this.
Viki: He thinks that perhaps Tea is visiting with Rachel. Could you call her and see if Tea is with her?
Nora: Why would I do that?
Viki (looking at Todd): Because Todd promises that if you do he'll leave you alone. (to Todd) Don't you, Todd?
Todd: Yeah, whatever!
Nora: I don't know. Rachel is trying to start a new life. I don't know if I want to remind her of this...this...(gesturing to Todd)...person.
Viki: I'm not asking you to give him her phone number or address. I would consider it a personal favor if you would simply call Rachel and ask if she's heard from Tea recently.
Nora (not thrilled): All right but I expect you to keep him away from me once Rachel confirms that she doesn't know where Tea is.
Viki: Certainly.
[Nora hides her phone from Todd's view as she dials Rachel's number. After a few seconds that feel to Todd like several minutes Rachel answers her phone.]
Nora: Hi, honey. I didn't wake you did I?
Rachel: No. I've been up for awhile. Is everything okay?
Nora (looking at Todd): Well...
Rachel: Is something wrong with the baby?
Nora: No. No, everything's fine. Um...
Todd (impatient): Hurry up already!
Rachel: Was that who I thought that was?
Nora: Todd is with me. He doesn't seem to know where Tea is. Apparently she left him without telling him where she was going. He thought maybe you would know where she was.
Rachel: Todd thinks that I know where Tea is?
Nora: I know it's ridiculous. I mean, you and Tea haven't even spoken in so long but he and Viki insisted that I call you.
Rachel: Mom, hold on a minute.
[Nora hears some muffled commotion for a brief moment.]
Tea: Nora?
Nora (surprised): Tea?!
[Todd quickly moves past Viki and lunges for Nora. He grabs her cell phone out of her hand.]
Todd (yelling into the phone): Where the hell are you?!
Tea (sarcastically sweet): I missed you last night too, sweetheart.
Todd: Don't give me that. Where are you?
Tea: I'm at Rachel's, obviously.
Todd: And where is that? I'll come pick you up.
Tea: No you won't.
Todd (trying but failing to sound calm): It's no bother.
Tea: I told you I would be back in a few days.
Todd: So you'll come back a little earlier than you planned.
Tea (her voice soft and serious): Did you have a bad night last night?
[Todd doesn't say anything but walks toward a deserted part of the dining room.]
Tea: I thought about calling you last night. I almost did in fact.
Todd (after checking to make sure no one can hear him): Why didn't you?
Tea: I was afraid you'd tell me to come home.
Todd: I would have. You never should have left.
Tea: I needed to. I'll be back in a couple of days, okay? (pause) You're staying at Viki's house, right?
Todd: Viki took both me and Moose in after you ran off.
Tea: I did not run off. Moose? Is he staying at Viki's permanently?
Todd: If he does will you come home?
Tea: Would you really pick me over Moose?
Todd: I did before.
Tea: You don't have to give up your bird for me, Todd.
Todd: If it would make you come home I would.
Tea: I'm coming home anyway...in a couple of days. Did you sleep at all last night?
Todd: A little.
Tea: Did you have any nightmares?
Todd: The usual.
Tea: Which usual?
Todd: Come home.
Tea: I am in a couple of days. Tell me about your nightmare.
Todd: Did you tell Rachel everything?
Tea: If you're referring to the things you've been telling me about your childhood you know I wouldn't do that.
Todd: So what are you doing with her anyway? After everything she did to us why would you want to spend time with her?
Tea: She's my friend, Todd. I was upset with her before and I thought maybe it was time that we discuss some things. I felt like it was time to forgive her.
Todd: Why?
Tea: Because she wasn't trying to hurt you or me.
Todd: Right!
Tea: Todd, I've forgiven you for the things that you've done to me and I hope that you've forgiven me for the things I've done to you...
Todd: There's nothing to forgive. Come home.
Tea: In a couple of days. There are things that we both need to forgive. After everything I've been through in recent months I felt like I needed to remember what's most important to me. Rachel was my best friend. I haven't had too many true friends in my life.
Todd: She tried to frame your husband for murder.
Tea: No, she didn't. She made a mistake in not coming forward sooner but she was not involved in trying to frame you.
Todd: That's what you think.
Tea: That's what I know.
Todd: Whatever! I don't care...just come home.
Tea: Todd, I can't do this with you right now. I haven't had enough coffee yet.
Todd: Give me your number and I'll call you back. Give me the address and I'll come pick you up.
Tea: I have my car.
Todd: So, you didn't take a plane...
Tea: Todd, do not do anything to find out where I am. I do not want you showing up at the door. Do you understand? I need you to give me this time.
Todd: I want to be with you. I thought that was a good thing.
Tea: That's a very good thing.
Todd: Then come home. We can be together, Tea.
Tea: I will come home in a couple of days.
Todd: Tea...
Tea: Todd, do you know what I would want to do if I were with you right now?
Todd: What?
Tea: I would reach my hand up and place it on your cheek.
Todd: Which one?
Tea: What do you mean?
Todd: Which cheek?
Tea: Your right cheek.
Todd (closing his eyes): That's all you would want to do?
Tea: No. There are other things I would want to do. I don't know if you'd let me though.
Todd: If you came home right now I would.
Tea: Would you really?
Todd: Maybe, depends on what those other things are.
Tea: Nothing that you're not ready for.
Todd: Come home.
Tea: In a couple of days. I'm going to hang up now. I'll call you tonight at Viki's and we can talk, okay? (pause) I love you, Todd.
[Tea pauses for several seconds. When she doesn't hear a response from Todd she hangs up. Todd lowers the phone away from his ear and leans his forehead against the wall he's standing in front of. Viki, having watched his phone conversation from a distance, approaches him and takes the phone from him.]
Viki: Why don't we forget about having breakfast here and go back to my house, okay?
[Todd doesn't say anything. He just turns and walks out of the restaurant. Viki gathers her things, returns Nora's phone to her and follows after Todd.]
chapter 52
[Todd is completely silent as Viki drives them back to her house after they leave the restaurant. When they enter her home they both enter the living room. Todd sits down on the sofa. Viki takes a seat next to him.]
Viki: Maybe we should talk.
Todd: I don't feel very chatty.
Viki: Are you just going to sulk until your wife returns?
Todd: I'm not sulking.
Viki: Do you miss Tea?
Todd: Why would I miss her? She's the one who left me.
Viki: Do you believe she's coming back?
Todd: She said she was. (pause) Why? Did she say something to you yesterday? Did she tell you what country she was planning on running away to?
Viki: Do you really think she would leave the country?
Todd: If she got smart about me she would.
Viki: I thought Tea was happy with you. She certainly seemed very much in love the times I visited your home while she was sick.
Todd: She needed me then. She doesn't need me anymore.
Viki: Because she isn't sick anymore?
Todd: I knew she'd be okay.
Viki: Do you believe that was the only reason she spent so many months with you?
Todd: What other reason is there?
Viki: Maybe she's in love with you.
Todd: I'm not a lovable guy.
Viki: I think you are.
Todd (standing up and beginning to pace): I can't take this anymore.
Viki: What can't you take?
Todd: Nothing. Don't you have something else to do?
Viki: Yes, but this is more important. Why is it so hard for you to believe that someone could love you?
Todd: Tea knows me better than anyone.
Viki: And you think that no one could love you if they really knew you?
Todd: Not unless there's something wrong with them.
Viki: What's wrong with Tea?
Todd: Nothing. Nothing's wrong with her except...
Viki: Except what?
Todd: Nothing.
Viki: Except what?
Todd: Did you and Tea learn how to torture people from the same place? You both push and push and keep asking me questions until I tell you what you want to hear.
Viki: I thought talking to Tea was helping you.
Todd: Nothing helps.
Viki: Does being with Tea help?
Todd: Sometimes...in a way.
Viki: In what way?
Todd: Why can't you just leave me alone?
Viki: I want to understand. How does Tea help you?
Todd (plopping his body down in a nearby chair): She just does.
Viki: How?
Todd: She just does, you know. I don't know. (taking a deep breath) She looks at me...no matter what I tell her about, she looks at me...like...like...
[Todd stops speaking and looks away.]
Viki: Do you ever tell Tea how much she means to you?
Todd: I don't know.
Viki: How can you not know?
Todd: I don't remember everything I've ever told her.
Viki: Do you tell her that you love her?
Todd: I have.
Viki: Recently?
Todd: I don't know.
Viki: Don't you think she'd like to hear it sometimes?
Todd: She understands.
Viki: Do you love her? Are you in love with her? (Todd doesn't respond.) If she walked through the door right now what would you do?
Todd (closing his eyes and picturing Tea in the doorway): I would...(opening his eyes again)...I would probably say something stupid.
Viki: How would Tea respond?
Todd: She'd understand. She'd smile at me.
Viki: How would that make you feel? (Todd doesn't respond.) How do you feel when you're with Tea?
Todd (standing up): That's disgusting. I'm not going to tell you that.
Viki: I don't mean when you're sexually intimate with her.
Todd (walking toward the door): I'm not going to talk about this with you.
Viki (standing up and blocking his path): I'm referring to when you see her walk in the room, when you have dinner together, when you talk...how do you feel when you're with her?
Todd: She knows how I feel.
Viki: Do you tell her?
Todd: I try. Sometimes...sometimes it comes out wrong but I do try. She knows that I try.
Viki: How does Tea feel about you?
Todd: She says that she loves me.
Viki: Do you believe her?
Todd: Sometimes.
Viki: But not all the time?
Todd: Why would she love me? Why would anyone love me?
Viki: I love you.
Todd: That's different.
Viki: I don't have to love you, Todd.
Todd: Yeah, you do. I'm your brother.
Viki: So, if you weren't my brother you don't think that I would love you?
Todd: You didn't before you found out.
Viki: Well, I didn't know you well enough then. (holding his face in her hands) Now I do know you and even if we were to discover that you were not my brother I would still love you.
Todd: Why?
Viki: Because I do. I just do. You are going to have to accept that because that is how it is and will always be.
Todd: How do you do it?
Viki: Do what?
Todd: How can you touch me? How can you let other people touch you? Why is it so easy for you?
Viki: Is that what you think? You think that I just got over all of my problems just like that?
Todd: It looks like it.
Viki: I have had years of therapy.
Todd (pulling away from Viki): I'm not doing therapy.
Viki: I have also been extremely lucky. I have had a tremendous amount of support. It's been invaluable to me. That doesn't mean that it hasn't been very difficult at times. I've spent many nights in agony struggling within myself just to survive into the next morning.
Todd: Really?
Viki: Really.
Todd: How do you do it? How...how do you...um...get through the nights?
Viki: Whatever way I can. Whatever way works on that particular night. Sometimes I wake someone up and talk to them. Sometimes I play card games on the computer for hours. Sometimes I stand outside and breath the fresh air. Sometimes I write about what I'm thinking and feeling in my journal. Sometimes I eat. Sometimes I watch television or listen to music. I do whatever I need to do to survive that night.
Todd: You keep a journal?
Viki: Yes, I do.
Todd: Aren't you afraid that someone will find it and read about the stuff that happened to you?
Viki: People already know what happened to me.
Todd: But you don't want them to know the details, do you?
Viki: You tell Tea the details, don't you?
Todd: That's different.
Viki: Are you afraid of what people will think if they know the details of what happened to you? Is that why you think Tea left you? Because you told?
Todd: Tea understands. She found this place on the internet where people talk about the stuff that happened to them. You know, stuff like what happened to me, (gesturing between himself and Viki) to us. Have you ever gone to one of those places?
Viki: No I haven't. Does it help you?
Todd: I put something up on this message board they have. Well, Tea put it up actually but I wrote it. I've tried putting other stuff up but I can't get myself to do it. I read what other people write though.
Viki: Does it help?
Todd: Sort of.
Viki: In what way?
Todd: I don't know.
Viki: You must have some idea.
Todd: What the hell does it matter anyway? It's just a bunch of losers who can't get passed something that happened a long time ago.
Viki: Do you think you're a loser?
Todd: I've always been a loser.
Viki: Do you think I'm a loser?
Todd: You got over it.
Viki: No, I didn't and I never will. It will always be a part of me just like what was done to you will always be a part of you.
Todd: Then what's the point?
Viki: The point is that there is life after abuse. There's love and happiness...
Todd: Not for me. You asked me before what I would do if Tea walked in here.
Viki: What would you do?
Todd: I would want to walk over to her and hug her.
Viki: I'm sure she would enjoy that.
Todd: I wouldn't do it though.
Viki: Why not?
Todd: I don't know. You're here.
Viki: What if you and Tea were alone?
Todd: I probably still wouldn't do it.
Viki: And why is that?
Todd: Because...I don't know...because...she left me.
Viki: Do you believe she's coming back?
Todd (with complete honestly): No.
Viki: Do you want her to come back?
Todd: That's a stupid question.
Viki: You have been shutting her out for the last couple of weeks, haven't you? Why do you want her here? Wouldn't it be easier for you to hide from whatever it is you're trying to hide from if she wasn't here?
Todd: You really don't like her, do you?
Viki: It doesn't matter what my feelings are toward her it only matters what your feelings are. What are your feelings? (Todd is silent) Why have you been shutting her out? Why have you been shutting all of us out recently?
[Todd sits down on the sofa and doesn't speak for several moments. Viki sits opposite him and waits for him to speak.]
Todd (quietly): I lied to her.
Viki: Is that why she left?
Todd: I don't even know if she remembers. (pause) When she was in the hospital... When she wanted to give up... She said that she wanted to die then because at least she would die feeling loved. She knew...she knew I would do this to her. That's why...(Todd is silent for a moment as tears fill his eyes that he refuses to let fall)...she made me promise her that I would give her a day. She just wanted one day were she didn't have to be sick. A day when she didn't feel horrible. A day when she didn't have to wonder if I would leave her or push her away. I promised her...so many times I promised her that I would be there for her every second that she was sick. I really thought I could do it but I didn't. During her last treatment she needed me and I wasn't there for her. She had to be sick all by herself. She didn't even say anything to me about it. She just dealt with it on her own. The only times that she even tried to talk to me during that time were the times when she felt okay not when she felt really horrible. When she did try to talk to me, to get me to talk to her, it wasn't even about her it was about my not seeing Starr. And some nights, I know they were horrible nights for her. I could hear her moving around. I knew that she couldn't sleep because it felt so bad. I should have been with her but I wasn't. I couldn't be. And that day that I promised her, it's never gonna happen. She knew it. That's why she left.
Viki: Couldn't you still give her that day? You clearly want to.
Todd: No. It wouldn't be the same. There's no way that it could be the same now. I wasn't there for her when she was sick. She needed me and I wasn't there for her. She believed that I would be. I know she believed that. (tears threatening him again) That's why she came to me when she found out she was sick. She didn't even know for sure if I loved her. She wanted me to but she didn't know because I had done so many things that made her wonder. Even though she thought there was a chance that I really didn't care about her she still came to me. She took a huge chance and she trusted me. She trusted me to be there for her and to love her. You know, she didn't want my money or stuff that I could buy her. She just wanted me to hold her, to make her feel loved. She thought she was going to die and it was me...(still finding it hard to believe)...me...that she wanted to be with. It was me that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with...literally. She said I wouldn't have to be there, you know at the...uh...end, if I didn't want to be but I know that she wanted my voice to be the last sound that she heard and my touch to be the last physical thing that she felt. She wanted my love...(as the tears finally begin to fall)...that's all that she wanted. That's what all of this has been about, right? She wants me to talk about all this stuff because she wants me to be okay. I mean, now she wants me to be okay and to be with her and with Starr but before it was just for Starr and for me. She wanted me to get through all this stuff inside me so I'd stop hiding and I could be with Starr. She wants me to stop running from myself, from what happened, and stop hiding from everyone else. That's what she wants.
Viki: Can you do that?
Todd: I have no idea.
chapter 53
[As Todd and Viki were talking so were Tea and Rachel.]
Rachel (as Tea enters): Did the shower help?
Tea: I don't know. I'm still confused.
Rachel: Why don't you stay here a little longer. Maybe you feel this way because you know going back to that man is not the best thing for you.
Tea: That man is my husband and I love him.
Rachel: I'll never understand why.
Tea: He's not the person that you think he is. He was so gentle and sweet when I was sick. I never would have made it through all of that without him.
Rachel: If he's so wonderful why are you here?
Tea: I told you last night that I just needed some time to think about things.
Rachel: What things? If you're married to a great guy who loves you and treats you the way you want to be treated then why did you need to get away from him?
Tea: I had hoped that maybe you would be more understanding about Todd. I guess not.
Rachel: Why? Because we're both criminals now?
Tea: You've both made mistakes that you regret.
Rachel (begrudgingly): Actually, I think I may understand him a little bit better. (quickly adding) Just a small amount.
Tea: About what?
Rachel: It must be very difficult for him with Starr.
Tea: He's a wonderful father. He would never...
Rachel: Relax, that's not what I mean. I meant that I've thought about what it would be like if I had a child and someday that child learned about what I'd done and that I had been in prison. It must be hard for him to think about Starr someday learning about his crimes.
Tea: That will be a horrible experience for both Todd and Starr. Are you thinking about having a baby? Is there someone special in your life?
Rachel: No, not at all. I've been pretty much keeping to myself since I moved here. I don't really enjoy filling people in on what I've been doing. Besides, I don't know if I could ever have a child.
Tea: Why not?
Rachel: Georgie was pregnant. I didn't know that at the time but it doesn't change the fact that when I took Georgie's life I also took the life of that baby. I don't know if I could go through a pregnancy. It would be too hard.
Tea: I'm sorry.
Rachel: I guess that's part of what I understand better about Todd. The penalty doesn't end when you leave prison. It stays with you.
Tea: Todd penalizes himself every day.
Rachel: Then he must also penalize you.
Tea: Not on purpose. It's just really difficult for him to be happy, for reasons that you can't understand.
Rachel: What I do understand, what I remember from before is that when he works so hard to make himself miserable he also makes you miserable. You could find someone else to be with, someone who isn't so troubled.
Tea: Maybe, but no one will ever love me the way that Todd does.
Rachel: And that's a good thing?
Tea: I need to be with him.
Rachel: Why? Are you hoping you can save him?
Tea: I want him to save himself. If he does then we can be together and he can be with Starr. We can be a family.
Rachel: You always wanted a family.
Tea: No, I didn't.
Rachel: Yes, you did. You just wouldn't admit it to yourself until you married Todd.
Tea: He promised me an instant family.
Rachel: And a lot of money.
Tea: It wasn't about the money...not for long anyway.
Rachel: I know. I still think you should have taken the money and run, though.
Tea: I couldn't. That's why I kept going back. I couldn't not be there. I couldn't not be with him. Being without him is like, I don't know... Being with him is like knowing, for the first time in my life, what it feels like for my heart to be full. And, when I'm with him I feel like I'm me, you know, the real me, whoever that is. I don't have to pretend with him. I don't have to try so hard to fit in because I just do. I belong there. I belong in his world and it has nothing to do with money or race or any of that other stuff that is so unimportant to me now. (pause) I know I told you that I would spend a few days but I have to go home.
Rachel: Are you sure? It's only a couple of days.
Tea: Todd and I have already wasted so many days. I don't want to waste anymore. I'm sorry. I'll call and we'll talk more, okay? I don't want to lose your friendship again. I've missed you.
Rachel: I've missed you too.
[Tea and Rachel hug before Tea quickly packs her things and heads back to Llanview.
Meanwhile, at Llanfair...
Todd was exhausted after his talk with Viki. He went to the bedroom he's staying in and laid done. Eventually, he fell asleep.
Viki went to work expecting to take care of the things she needed to do quickly and return home in case her brother needed her. While she's gone Bo arrives. Jessica lets him into the house. She tries to talk him out of it but he pushes passed her and moves up the stairs as a uniformed police officer follows.
Bo enters Todd's room and finds him asleep on the bed. He quickly approaches the bed and pulls Todd up by his clothes.]
Bo: Naptime is over.
[Todd wakes up in a panic. He feels like his nightmare has come true as he feels his body being elevated harshly. He fights off his attacker unaware of who it even is. As he's fighting he hits Bo hard in the chest, knocking him away from the bed. The officer with Bo wrestles with Todd. Bo joins in and they are able to subdue Todd.]
Jessica: Uncle Bo, stop it. You're hurting him.
Bo (to Todd): Am I hurting you? No, I don't think so.
[Bo and the other officer manage to hold Todd down and turn him onto his stomach and put handcuffs on him.]
Jessica: Uncle Bo...
Bo: Go downstairs, Jessica.
Jessica (as she leaves the room): I'm calling my mother.
Bo: Tell her she might as well meet us at the police station since that's where I'll be taking this maniac. (to Todd) Attacking a police officer wasn't too smart considering I'm about to prove you killed one of my officers.
[Todd doesn't say anything, not then and not in the police car on the way to the police station. He just sits mutely while Bo verbally taunts him.
Viki is waiting for them at the police station when they arrive.]
Viki: Bo, what is this all about? (to her brother) Todd are you okay?
Bo: He's fine.
Viki: He doesn't look fine.
Bo (to the other officer): Take him to his usual cell. (to Viki) I heard Tea left him so I assume he'll need a different attorney.
Viki: Is that why you're doing this?
Bo: I'm doing this because he deserves it. I held off on going after him for John's death as a favor to you but I only agreed to put off arresting him until his wife was better or until she died. Now that she's better your brother has to deal with the consenquences of his actions.
Viki: Do you really believe he killed this Sykes person?
Bo: It's not up to me to determine his guilt. A jury will do that and then they'll put him away for a long time like he deserves.
[Viki gives up trying to reason with Bo. She tries to reach both Hank and Nora so she can get in touch with Tea through Rachel but doesn't initially have any luck being able to reach either of them. When she finally does speak to Hank he tries calling Rachel but she doesn't answer her phone. He leaves a message on her machine for Tea to call Viki at the police station.
Not wanting Todd to go without an attorney Viki calls Sam, even though she knows it will anger Todd when he finds out. Viki convinces Bo to allow her to visit with her brother in his cell while they wait for his attorney to arrive.]
Viki (entering Todd's cell): Is there anything I can get you?
Todd (avoiding eye contact): Tea.
Viki: I've been trying to reach her. Hank left a message at Rachel's for her. As soon as she learns that you've been arrested I am certain she will come right back to Llanview. Until then, you need another attorney.
Todd: I want my wife.
Viki: I know but until we can reach her you need someone else. You shouldn't go without a lawyer. When Tea comes she can take over the case but until then I think...
Todd: I'm not talking to any stupid person in an ugly suit. I'll wait for Tea. She'll show up. She always does when I need her.
Viki: Well, anyway, hopefully they won't be charging you for the death of Sykes.
Todd: Why not? I'm sure Buchanan is salivating at the thought.
Viki: Hank doesn't seem to think they have enough evidence to go to trial with on those charges. Now, the charges for assaulting Bo are a different matter. Why did you hit him?
Todd: I didn't hit him.
Viki: Yes, you did.
Todd: No, I didn't.
Viki: Jessica saw you fighting him.
Todd: She did?
Viki: You don't remember?
Todd: I woke up and people were attacking me. I don't know what I did. And then they had me on my stomach and...
Viki: Are you okay?
[Todd is silent.]
Viki: Did you think it was your father attacking you?
Todd: I don't want to talk about this.
Viki: Will you talk to Tea when she gets here?
Todd: Find Tea and you'll find out.
Viki: I think you should talk about whatever it is. You look really horrible.
Todd: Are we done conversing?
Viki: We can just sit here quietly, if you want.
Todd: I want.
chapter 54
[In his jail cell Todd and Viki sit silently, Todd on the lower bunk and Viki on the nearby bench. Viki wants to talk to Todd about what he was thinking when he woke up to Bo grabbing him out of bed but she respects Todd's desire not to talk. She hopes that he will talk about it to Tea though because she can tell that Todd is extremely shaky. Viki looks around the cell and wonders how Todd managed to survive so much time in such a small space.
Todd sits on the bunk staring off into space. He hates being locked up and caged in. He's had plenty of practice, starting when he was young, but he's never gotten good at it. He waits to hear the cell doors opening, wanting his wife to get there so it won't feel so overwhelming. She knows how to calm him and right now he needs that.]
Todd (the silence getting to him): I hate this.
Viki: I'm sorry you have to be here. I'll do whatever I can to get you released and I'll stay here with you as long as they let me.
Todd: Did I ever tell you about when my father made me stay in a cage?
Viki: No, you didn't.
Todd: Do you know if I told Tea?
Viki: Not that I'm aware of.
Todd: I remember talking about it when she was in the hospital.
Viki: I recall that but I don't think you mentioned any details. Would you like to tell me about it now?
Todd: I don't know. It's not a big deal anyway. It wasn't for very long.
Viki: What kind of cage was it?
Todd: The kind you keep a dog in.
Viki: Was there... Did he give you a reason?
Todd: He had lots of reason for lots of stuff he did.
Viki: What possible reason could he have had?
Todd: It was awhile after my mom left, after she ditched me and left me with that...(looking at Viki and deciding against the words he was going to use)...my father. Somebody gave me a dog. I don't know why. I guess they figured, you know, lose a mom...get a dog. My father hated that dog and didn't want to keep it but he couldn't get rid of it because the person who gave it to me was someone that was important to his business. So, I got to keep the dog but he didn't want the dog in the house so he got this cage. It wasn't that big really. The dog was just a puppy so it was okay but if it had gotten bigger it wouldn't have had much space to move around in. It was my job to keep the cage clean. I was supposed to tie the dog up when I was cleaning the cage. It hated being tied up though, it really hated it. So, one time, just one time, I didn't tie it up. It ran. It took off right away. It didn't even look back or anything. That dog was way smarter than I was, I stayed. My father, he got really angry when he found out. He told me that he had spent a lot of money on that cage and it wasn't going to just sit there not being used. During the day I could be in the house but at night I had to sleep in the cage unless he spent the night doing stuff to me. There were a bunch of nights in a row when it got really cold and somebody called the cops. It wasn't like the neighbors just figured out that he was doing stuff to me. They knew. I used to spy on people and I would hear them say stuff about me so I knew that they all knew. I think they only called the cops because they thought I would freeze to death. It wasn't that they actually cared or anything, I think they just didn't want to have to explain to the cops or reporters how a kid could live outside in a cage in that kind of weather without any of them noticing or doing anything about it. When the cops showed up it was so pathetic. My father was there and he told them that it was my fault. He said that he had tried to stop me but that I would sneak out of the house in the middle of the night. He told them that it was because I missed my dog and that I blamed myself for the dog running away. They believed him. They were cops so, of course, they were idiots. They didn't even ask me if it was true. They just told me that it wasn't safe for me to sleep outside and that I should stop worrying my father and sleep in the house. He got rid of the cage after that. (closing his eyes) I hate being in a cage.
[Viki slowly approaches Todd and reaches her hand out to gently touch him.]
Todd (pulling away and yelling): Don't touch me.
Viki: I'm sorry.
Todd: Get the hell away from me. Leave me alone. Get out of here. Go!
Tea: Todd?
[Todd looks quickly toward the jail cell door as he hears the outer cell being opened. Tea walks in. Todd's feelings are overwhelming for him as he sees his wife. He closes his eyes again. As an officer opens the cell door Tea quickly enters the inner cell. The officer gestures for Viki to exit. She does but stays in the outer cell area. Tea slowly approaches her husband.]
Tea: Todd?
Todd (with his eyes still closed): How much did you hear?
Tea: Most of it, I think. Enough anyway to understand. I'm sorry that I was eavesdropping. I shouldn't have done that. I couldn't help it.
Todd: You could have been here for the whole pathetic story if you hadn't left me.
Tea: I came as soon as I heard.
[Todd opens his eyes and finds Tea kneeling in front of him, her eyes staring straight at him.]
Todd: Is that the only reason you came back? A nice murder trial for you to work on?
Tea: I didn't come back to defend you.
Todd (hurt): Then go back to wherever you were. I don't need you.
[Tea slowly brings her hand up to Todd's face and places it on top of his scarred cheek. Todd flinches but doesn't pull away.]
Tea: I came back because I missed you. I went right to Viki's so that we could go home together. Jessica told me you were here.
Todd: You didn't know?
Tea: I didn't know. I came back because I don't like being without you. I tried. I really did try. I couldn't even make it three days. (bringing her face close to Todd's and speaking softly) I love you, Todd.
[Todd closes his eyes again and savors Tea's presence and her words.]
Todd (quietly): No.
Tea: Yes.
[Todd leans his face a little closer to Tea's causing their foreheads to touch.]
Todd: Then why did you leave?
Tea: I needed time to think.
Todd: And you're done thinking now?
Tea: No, but I'd rather be with you while I do the rest of the thinking I need to do.
Todd: That might be hard with me in here.
Tea: Well, we'll have to make sure that you get out of here. I don't want to live in that house all by myself. And, I didn't fight to survive cancer just to have you end up in prison. I don't intend to let you go that easily.
Todd: I don't like being here.
Tea: I know. I'll do everything that I can to get you out of here.
Todd: You better. I...I'm counting on you, Tea.
Tea: I won't let you down. I promise.
Todd: And, I'm supposed to trust you?
Tea: Yes. Can you?
Todd: I'm trying.
Tea: Good.
[Todd and Tea stay in the same position, with their foreheads touching, as Tea lightly places one of her hands on Todd's back and begins to gently caress him.
Unseen by them, Hank and Sam arrive. Viki hears the outer cell door open and turns and sees them.]
Viki (approaching the men): Can he leave now?
Hank: I'm afraid not. Bo insists on pressing charges.
Viki: He attacked the man while he was sleeping. Todd was simply reacting. He didn't even know it was Bo.
Hank: That's not how Bo sees it. I just came to see how Tea is. I saw her come in and she didn't even stop to discuss the charges. She just came right here.
Viki: She knew that Todd needed her. Will Todd have to spend the night here?
Hank: It looks like it.
Viki: Is there any way that Tea could stay with him?
Hank: Viki, even I can't make that happen.
Viki: Todd's in really bad shape right now. I'm worried about him.
Bo (approaching the group): You should save your worry for someone who deserves it, Viki.
[Bo gestures to the officer with him to open the cell door. Once it's open Bo enters.]
Bo: Isn't this sweet, Manning. Too bad we don't allow conjugal visits. Tea if you're representing this scum you can finish your, um, conversation in one of the interrogation rooms. It's time for him to answer some questions now that his lawyers are here.
Tea (letting go of Todd and standing up): Bo, this isn't a good time.
Bo: I think this is the perfect time.
[Bo takes hold of Tea's arm and tries to direct her out of the cell.]
Tea (angrily jerking her arm away from Bo): Let go of me.
Bo (grabbing her arm again): Come on, Tea. Let's not make this take any longer than it has to.
[Todd quickly jumps off the bunk and pushes Bo away from Tea and into the cell bars.]
Todd (yelling): Get away from her. If you ever hurt her I'll kill you.
Tea: Todd, don't.
[Bo and Todd struggle briefly. Bo ends up shoving Todd face first into the cell bars. Tea can see Todd's body go rigid. Bo can also sense a difference in Todd.]
Todd: Go ahead. Do it. You've been wanting to. Just do it. Get it over with.
Bo (turning his head and looking at Tea): What is he talking about?
Tea: Let go of him. (louder) Get off of him. (grabbing at Bo) Get the hell off of him.
[Bo lets go of Todd and takes a few steps away from him. Tea approaches Todd.]
Tea: Todd? Todd, are you okay?
Todd: I'm confused.
[Tea lightly touches the back of Todd's hair. He moves away from her and into the corner of the cell.]
Tea (cautiously approaching him): It's okay. You know I won't hurt you. You know that, don't you?
Todd: Everybody hurts me.
Tea: I won't.
[Tea tries to gently touch him again. He can't move away from her because he's trapped in the corner.]
Tea: What's wrong? You can tell me.
Todd: He's gonna hurt me. I don't want him to.
Tea: Who's going to hurt you?
[Todd is silent. Tea recognizes the look on his face as being similar to the look he had the night he trashed their house.]
Tea: Do you know where you are? Do you know who I am?
[Bo steps out of the cell and joins the others in the outer cell area as they watch Tea try to calm a jittery Todd.]
chapter 55
Tea: Todd? Can you see me?
Todd: He's coming. I can tell. I know he's coming.
Tea: Who's coming?
[Todd slides down with his back against the cell bars until he's sitting on the floor. Tea sits down next to him.]
Todd: He's going to hurt me.
Tea: What makes you think that?
Todd: He always hurts me.
Tea: Maybe this time he won't.
Todd: No, he'll do it this time too. This part is hard. Waiting is hard.
Tea: What are you waiting for?
Todd: For him to come. It's been a couple of minutes since the yelling stopped. He should be coming soon. He probably went to get a drink first.
Tea: Where are you?
Todd: In my bedroom.
Tea (gently stroking his cheek): Can you feel my hand? Can you, Todd? This is reality. What you're seeing right now is a memory. It isn't happening right now.
Todd: He's coming. He's in the hallway. I have to stay completely still. He has to think I'm asleep.
Tea: Why?
Todd: Because it hurts more if he finds me awake.
[Tea can sense Todd physically tensing up for several seconds and then his body slightly jerks.]
Tea: What happened?
Todd: The door hit the wall when he opened it but I didn't move that much so maybe he didn't see it.
Tea (fearing for Todd): Todd, I think you should open your eyes and look at me.
[Todd's body suddenly jerks violently.]
Tea (concerned): What's happening? Todd?
Todd: He grabbed me.
Tea: Did he pick you up by your pajamas?
Todd: Yeah. He turned me around and threw back on the bed and...
[Todd stops speaking. After a few seconds Tea notices that Todd isn't breathing anymore.]
Tea (in a panic): Todd? Todd? Breath, Todd. This is just a memory. It isn't really happening. You can breathe. Take a breath, Todd. Please, take a breath.
[Todd suddenly gasps for air. Tea buries her face in Todd's hair as she hugs him to her, relieved that he's breathing again.]
Todd (still trying to catch his breath): That wasn't that bad. At least I didn't get water in my nose like I do when he holds my head under water.
Tea: Todd, I really think you need to open your eyes and look at me right now. Can you do that?
Todd: I can hear him undoing his belt. He's gonna hit me with his belt. I can handle this. I've done this before. If I let go and float inside my brain it won't hurt as much.
[Tea can feel Todd's body starting to relax but he quickly tenses up again.]
Tea: What's happening?
Todd: Why did I hear that?
Tea: What did you hear?
Todd: I never heard that sound before when he was going to beat me.
Tea: What sound?
Todd: It sounded like a zipper.
[Tea, sitting next to Todd, and Viki, in the outer cell area, both feel a panic rising inside themselves as they both realize what Todd is about to remember.]
Todd: What's going on? What's gonna happen? (Todd grabs Tea's arm with his hand) Tell me what's gonna happen? (Tea is silent, not knowing what to say) He's pulling down my pajama bottoms. Is he gonna hit me there?
[Tea again senses a change in Todd's body.]
Todd: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, hell! No! No! (yelling as his body scrunches forward) No!
[Tea places her arm across Todd's back and tries to hold him as much as she can.]
Tea (with tears in her eyes and pain in her voice): It's okay. You'll get through this.
Todd: Tea?
Tea: Todd?
Todd (trying desperately to stay in reality and stop remembering): I can't do this. I can't. I don't want to remember.
Tea: Do you have a choice?
Todd: I'm trying.
Tea: Can you open your eyes?
[Todd opens his eyes briefly but quickly closes them again.]
Todd: It's still there. Make it stop. I can't remember this. Make it stop.
Tea: I wish I could. Maybe...maybe you need to remember.
Todd: Oh, no!
Tea: What?
Todd: He's putting stuff... I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember.
Tea (wanting to stop his memory but sensing that nothing will stop it): What stuff?
Todd (angrily): Don't help me remember. Help me make it stop.
Tea: I would if I could. I...I think you need to remember. (holding him tighter) I'm right here. Can you feel me? Todd?
Todd (giving in and accepting that he's going to have to relive this moment): Some kind of slippery stuff. He's putting it...he's putting it...um...behind...
Tea: I understand.
Todd: I can feel it, Tea. I can feel what I felt. I can feel the bed. I can feel his fingers. (panicking): Um...
Tea (trying to comfort him): It's okay. Everything will be okay.
Todd: No! No! No! It hurts. It hurts.
Tea: I know it does but you'll survive this, okay? I promise you will survive this.
Todd: Oh, hell! It really hurts.
Tea: I know.
[Tea continues holding Todd for several agonizing minutes as Todd relives the horror of the first time he was raped.]
Todd: Tea?
Tea: Yeah?
Todd (still clearly in a great deal of pain): Do you...uh...do you remember...the...the balcony...what I told you on the balcony? About...you know...the words?
Tea: Of course. Did he want you to say it then?
Todd: No. (Todd takes a moment to breathe and try to get through the pain) Different...opposite.
Tea: Opposite? He made you say that you didn't want it?
Todd: Yeah. Um...um...he wanted me to say how much it hurt and to beg for him to stop.
Tea: Did you?
Todd: Hell, yeah! But, Tea, it...it...
Tea: What? (pause) It's okay.
Todd: It wasn't him.
Tea: What do you mean?
Todd: It wasn't him that he wanted me to say it too.
[Tea thinks for a moment as Todd continues to writhe in pain in her arms.]
Tea: Was your mother still living with you?
Todd: Yeah. He wanted me to call out to her, to beg her to make him stop. He wanted me to tell her how much he was hurting me.
Tea (noticeably crying): Why...why did he want that?
Todd: To punish her. He wasn't punishing me. He was punishing her.
Tea: Do you know why?
Todd: He said...he said because she didn't do what he wanted her to do. He said she had to learn to do what she was told to do.
Tea: I'm sorry.
Todd: I did it. I called out to her. I yelled as loud as I could. (crying) Why didn't she come? Why didn't she stop him?
Tea: I don't know. Maybe she was afraid that he would hurt you even more.
Todd: No. She didn't care. She didn't give a damn about me. She was probably glad he was raping me. At least he wasn't raping her.
Tea: I'm sure she loved you. She must have.
[Todd's body relaxes. He turns onto his side with his body curled tightly against the bars of his cell and places his head against the side of Tea's leg, mimicking the similar position he had spent that night in except then he was all alone.]
Tea: Is it over?
Todd: He left. I'm tired. I'm so tired.
Tea: Why don't you sleep. I'll stay here with you, okay? I won't leave and I won't let anyone hurt you.
Todd: Promise?
Tea: I promise you, Todd. (leaning her head down next to his ear and whispering) I love you. I promise that too.
Todd: It still hurts.
Tea: I know but it won't hurt as much when you wake up.
[In the outer cell, Viki is emotionally drained from witnessing her brother's pain. After a moment she realizes she has a handkerchief in her hand but she doesn't recall how or when she came to have it. She looks around her and sees Bo, Sam and Hank next to her with somber faces and tears in their eyes. She quickly gathers their attention and moves them out of the cell area to give Todd some privacy.
Inside the cell, Todd lets go of his body and mind and quickly falls into an exhausted sleep while Tea strokes his back comfortingly.]
to be continued...
