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| THE HEART HAS WINGS I BY MARY CATHERINE |
CHAPTER 5 |
“Delgado, listen to me,” he said, trying his best to keep his voice calm and reassuring. “Drop the backpack. It’s pulling you over.”
“No!” she shouted without hesitation. “It has two bottles of water in it! Just pull me up.” She shifted her grip on the root, grimacing in pain. Todd knew she couldn’t hold on much longer with her injured arms.
“This isn’t the time to be stubborn, Téa. Let it go! We’ll make it somehow.” He felt the anger rising as she shook her head no.
“You almost died getting this water. If you can risk your life for our survival, then so can I. Now please get me out of here!” Realizing that they were wasting precious time, Todd quickly stripped off his belt, securing it tightly around his ankle. He threw the length of it into the ravine, then grabbed onto another mesquite that was perched on the edge. After testing it thoroughly, he gingerly slid his body over, stretching it out to full length, gripping the mesquite tightly.
“Can you reach it?” he asked through gritted teeth. The end of the belt dangled just above Téa’s head. She would have to let go with one hand to catch it. She didn’t know if she had the strength to support her weight with just one.
“I…I don’t know,” she said, sweat dripping into her eyes. “Oh God! I’m so scared,” she wailed, wrenching at Todd’s heart.
“Listen, Delgado, you can do this. You’re one of the strongest chicks I know. You didn’t survive a plane crash to die here. You’ll do it. C’mon now.”
“What if I pull you in too?” she asked, mustering up her strength.
“You won’t. I’ve got a good grip. Do it, Téa, before you lose your hold.” Taking a deep breath, she gripped extra hard with her right hand and reached up for the belt with her left. It was just an inch or two out of her reach. Crying out in frustration, she returned her hand to the root.
“I can’t,” she wailed. Cursing under his breath, Todd slid his body a little more into the ravine, realizing that he was practically hanging on with his fingernails. He prayed that he would have the strength to hold both their weights when the time came.
“How’s that?” he asked, trying to sound calm. “Can you reach it now?” Biting her lip, Téa again reached for the belt, this time managing to snag it.
“I got it!” she said excitedly. Now she had to go for broke. With a hard swallow, she let go of the root and grasped the belt tightly in both hands. She dangled over the ravine as Todd strained against the weight trying to pull him in.
“Climb up!” he shouted. Téa brought her feet around, scrabbling in the loose sand and rocks as she tried to get a foothold. Going hand over hand, she slowly pulled herself up, finally reaching Todd’s foot. “Keep going!” he prompted. “Climb up my leg!” Now having a better purchase on the ground below her, Téa crawled up using Todd’s body as an anchor. As soon as she could reach it, she grabbed for the mesquite, releasing her weight from Todd. After a bit more scrambling, they both were lying in the sand at the top, breathing heavily and wiping the sweat from their eyes. After a few minutes, Téa pulled off the backpack, grimacing in pain as the straps slid over the spines in her arms. She started to sob.
Todd sat up, staring at her. “You’re crazy, you know that!” he shouted. “You almost got yourself killed!” He fumbled at the belt around his ankle, removing it. “I should use this like a leash!” he growled. “It’s the only way to keep you from doing more stupid things.” She stared at him defiantly through her tears and after shaking it a few times, he put the belt back around his waist. “And why didn’t you drop the water bottles when I told you to?” he asked, continuing his tirade. “What good would they have done if you had broken your neck?”
“You almost died getting them and I wasn’t going to let them go,” she said. She tried to point, but grimaced in pain, collapsing to the sand sobbing. “Oh, it hurts so much,” she cried. Todd softened. He knew she must be hurting a lot to allow him to see her pain. Feeling helpless, he gently held one of her arms, examining it closely. The area below the elbow was scratched along the entire length. Little trickles of blood oozed from the wounds. Three spines were still stuck in the flesh. As he poked at them, she winced, obviously in agony. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a “Leatherman,” a small all-in-one tool carried by a lot of pilots. He manipulated it until it resembled needle nose pliers.
“This is probably going to hurt,” she said, watching her tense. Gripping one of the spines, he gave it a yank, surprised at the resistance. Téa shrieked in pain as it came loose. Blood began flowing from the wound. Deciding that doing the job hastily was the best course of action, Todd quickly pulled the other two needles out. Téa was sobbing as he gently rolled her over and examined her other arm. This one was even worse, with four spines still attached. He removed those the same way as the others. “You did good, Delgado,” he said, stroking her hair. “Real good.” Todd opened one of the water bottles and offered her a drink. He let her take several swallows before he took a small sip himself. Then packing up the small backpack, he slung it on his back and scooped Téa into his arms. He picked his way through the desert, returning to their little camp.
“I can walk,” protested Téa as he carried her along. Secretly she relished the brief bit of closeness their current position provided. Todd ignored her, depositing her carefully on the serape. He saw her face go white as she quickly rolled to the side, a fresh bout of tears escaping her eyes. Todd found the first aide kit and dressed her wounds, carefully wiping them with antiseptic in spite of frequent flinching from the patient. He wrapped both her arms in gauze.
After her crying subsided a little he asked, “Do you feel like walking? I can carry you if you don’t, but we really need to keep moving. We have to get out of the desert before our water runs out, and after we get away from these foothills, there won’t be so many gullies.”
“I can walk,” said Téa, gingerly rolling to her knees. “I just need a little privacy for a moment.” She walked toward a heavy growth of mesquite.
“Just make sure there are no rattlesnakes around before you do your business,” called Todd. Téa closed her eyes in misery, horrified by the idea of poisonous reptiles. She grimaced as she took down her pants, realizing that she had a big problem.
Todd and Téa continued their trek toward the ocean. Right away, Todd noticed she was walking very stiffly, and he asked whether she had any other wounds. Téa straightened up, looking embarrassed, and insisted that she was fine. She just had a few strained muscles from the crash and the fall. But as they continued walking, she began lagging further and further behind, forcing Todd to wait for long stretches as she caught up. He was frustrated, but unwilling to let her get too far away from him. Her near fall had scared him deeply. One time, he looked back and found her on her knees, sobbing. He quickly returned, kneeling down beside her, his face a mask of concern. When she saw him staring at her, she scrambled to her feet and began walking again, gritting her teeth against obvious pain. Todd looked after her fearfully, worried that she was hiding something major from him.
They had walked about two more miles when Todd turned around to find Téa collapsed face down in the sand, crying out in obvious pain. “Delgado!” he shouted running to her side. “What is it? Tell me it’s not a snake bite!” Téa shook her head no. “Then what?” he said, gently checking the bandages on her arms.
“I can’t tell you,” she whimpered.
“You have to tell so I can help you.”
She turned her head away from him. “You’ll laugh. No, it’s too humiliating. I can take anything from you but laughter.”
Todd sat back on his haunches, wondering what in the world could be so embarrassing that she would rather take the pain than accept any help from him. “Look, I promise not to laugh, but whatever it is is holding us up. You have to let me help.” The sun was very low. It was only a half-hour until sunset. Téa shook her head from side to side. Todd hated to see her in so much pain and he was terrified that it was caused by something that he couldn’t fix.
She slowly turned her head toward him. “You mean it? You really promise not to laugh?” she said in a small, squeaky voice.
“I promise,” he said drawing a cross over his chest. “Just tell me what’s wrong.” Téa squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to see his face when she told him.
“I…I have some…you know…some of those…things…those cactus needles…they’re…they’re stuck in my…butt,” she stammered out, humiliated. Todd quickly brought up a hand to cover his mouth. “See, you’re laughing,” she said, her eyes still closed.
“I’m not,” he said, smothering a grin quickly.
“You want to, I can tell.”
“I said I’m not laughing!” he said forcefully, swallowing hard to keep his chuckles unheard. “Let me see,” he said leaning toward the affected area.
“No!” said Téa, regaining a little life. “I don’t want you to see me like this.” She tried to roll away. Todd laid a steadying hand on her hip.
“Delgado,” he said softly, “I have to look or I won’t be able to help.” She began sobbing again, although he suspected it was from humiliation rather than pain. As he looked, he made out the little drops of blood staining her pants. Her slacks were so dirty he hadn’t noticed before. But the offending spines were no where in sight. “Téa, I don’t see the needles,” he said in confusion.
She shuddered, taking a deep breath. “I…I tried to get them out when I went out in the brush to…you know. But they were too deep. All I did was break them off.”
“Why didn’t you let me help you back then? All this walking must have been agony. You’ve probably worked the spines in deeper.”
“I was hoping they’d fall out on their own. I couldn’t take the humiliation of having you…”
“Shhhhh. I understand, Delgado. But you have to let me help you now.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out the Leatherman tool again, folding it into the pliers. “I’m going to touch you now,” he warned. She tensed her butt cheeks. He gently probed the seat of her pants with his fingers as she gasped in pain. He could see the small tears in the fabric, but he couldn’t find the needles. “Uh, Téa? I know you’re not going to like this, but you’re going to have to take down your pants.”
“No way! I’d rather have the spines stuck in my ass!”
“You’ll get an infection. You know this is the only way.” She lay on the ground, grinding her teeth in humiliation and shaking her head. “C’mon now,” he coaxed, helping her to her knees. He was embarrassed as well, but trying to hide it. He reached for the button at the waist of her pants. “Uh, I think you’d better do that,” he said, dropping his hands to his sides. Shaking, Téa looked away, hiding her face as she fumbled with the button. Slowly, she pushed the pants down over her hips and to her knees. She was wearing pink nylon panties. Todd tried not to look as she draped herself over his lap, positioning her bottom for the operation. She put her fist in her mouth, overcome by humiliation and pain. Shaking himself, Todd reached out and felt around for the needles through the light fabric. He could feel the tips, but they were still hidden. Swallowing down his embarrassment, he felt for the waistband of the undergarment. “Téa, I’m really sorry,” he said as she tensed, “but there’s no way I can do this without seeing what I’m doing. I’ll try…I’ll try not to look at it…that way, OK?”
“Just get it over with,” she said through gritted teeth, more tears escaping her eyelids. Taking a deep breath, he pulled down the panties and exposed her buttocks. There were five needles in one cheek and three in the other. He let out a sympathetic hiss, knowing that she must have been in hell the whole time. He deftly used the small tool to pull out the spines, giving her a minute or two to recover between each one. The whole time she was over his lap, Téa lay with her head averted, gritting her teeth. The humiliation was worse than the pain. Reaching in the backpack, he extracted the first aide kit and used the antiseptic wipes to swab down the wounds. Deciding that there was no practical way to bandage the area, he quickly pulled up the panties. “OK, all done,” he said, helping her to her knees. She was as limp as a rag doll and he had to help her replace her trousers as well. Neither of them met the other’s eyes. Todd quickly stood up and walked a few feet away, fumbling with the bundle of bedding. He took deep breaths, hoping Téa couldn’t tell that he had been turned on by the operation.
Pulling the serape free, he spread it out under a mesquite and helped Téa to lie down. Exhausted by the pain and the ordeal, she quickly dropped off to sleep.
When she awoke a few hours later, it was almost fully dark. A cheerful, aromatic fire crackled a few feet away. Todd was sitting on the other side, staring into the flames as he carefully fed more dry mesquite wood into the blaze. Téa pushed to her elbow, realizing that she felt chilly, which seemed ridiculous, given how hot she had been just a few hours before. She winced a little with the pain as she moved to take up her sweater, but she realized her wounds were feeling a lot better. She sat up on her knees, facing Todd across the fire. Still embarrassed by what had passed between them, neither spoke or met the other’s eyes. They were situated on a small bluff and Téa could clearly see the ocean, the horizon marked by a faint orange afterglow. The mountains behind her were silhouetted against the deep midnight blue sky. Far away, a coyote howled.
Téa cleared her throat. “You know, if we weren’t in such dire straits, I could really enjoy the scenery. It’s beautiful here.”
Todd grunted, silently offering her a water bottle. She shook her head, trying to preserve their limited stores. “There’s not much to eat,” he said. “A couple of crackers and some stale chips and cookies. Oh, and this fine ‘cheese food’ made from petroleum products.” “I’m not hungry, you eat my share,” she said quietly. He put it aside.
“You’ll be hungry later. How are you…uh…feeling?”
“Better.” Taking a deep breath she continued. “I…I need to thank you for what you did for me.” She
was glad the darkness hid her blush. “Uh…for everything. You risked your life several times today to save me.” He didn’t say anything, so she continued. “I know it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have rushed you, I shouldn’t have jumped in the plane, and I shouldn’t have run off in a snit.”
“Don’t blame yourself, Delgado. I was the pilot in command. I made the decisions. The crash was my fault.” He poked at the fire with a long stick. “And as for running away, well, I gave you good cause.” He looked up at her, his eyes glittering in the reflected light. “I do care about Starr, you know,” he said carefully. “I think about her all the time. And Sam. And Viki. I thought I might go back once, after I got my wings, but then I found out the law was after me. I can’t go through that again, Téa. Not even for Starr.” His voice choked and he turned away to look into the darkness.
Téa was well aware that he hadn’t mentioned her. “I’ve told you, Todd. There is a chance you won’t have to. You can have your family back and still go free.”
“But it would mean another trial, another stretch in jail waiting for it, and…and…”
“Therapy? Yes, I’m well aware how resistant you are to the idea, but I can’t think of any other way you can get the help you need, Todd.”
“Shrinks are all quacks. Look at that idiot Boyd, he fell for…” Todd fell silent, biting his tongue. “He fell for your fake DID. Like me, Todd. Like Viki and Sam, too. I guess you think we’re all idiots as well.”
“No, I didn’t say that! Look, Delgado, I didn’t do any of that stuff to hurt you. I was trying to stay free so we could…maybe…be together. But I’m so messed up, there is no one on earth that can help me. The judge will take one look and have me locked up ‘til I need a walker and keep my teeth in a glass.”
“You don’t know that, Todd! There are a lot of compassionate judges out there. Yes, you’ll probably have to spend some time locked up, maybe in therapy, but isn’t Starr worth it? If seeing a psychiatrist gets you a chance to have a normal life with your family, wouldn’t you try it? It can’t be any worse than this aimless existence you’ve been living.”
Todd ran his fingers through his hair in the characteristic way Téa remembered so well. “Why do you care, Delgado?” he asked softly. “I thought you were up there, living a new life, maybe seeing someone else. Why did you come after me? Seeing me punished is that important?”
“That’s not why I came, Todd. I tried to move on, I really did. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. And when I’d see Starr, and she told me how sad she was that you never even called, I started to think that something bad had happened to you to make you neglect your beloved daughter so much.” Todd hung his head, wiping occasionally at his eyes. “Todd, your memories are digging into you, just like the cactus did to me today. And without treatment, they’ll fester and get more and more putrid. You wouldn’t let me go on today without pulling the spines out. It was painful, degrading and gut wrenching, but you did it because without help, I’d get worse, maybe even die. It’s the same for you Todd, and therapy is the only way to pull out those needles.” Todd stared into the fire, and Téa could see the pain and exhaustion on his face. With a little prayer that her words had hit home, she decided to ease up.
“Look, it’s been a long, exhausting day,” she said evenly, “and it looks like we’ve got several more ahead of us if we’re going to come out of this alive. Maybe we should get some sleep so we can get an early start tomorrow, OK?” Todd nodded silently, building up the fire and checking to see that there was plenty of dry wood to use during the night. The last thing they needed was a scavenger stealing their limited food supply. Téa had resumed her position on the serape, spreading out the sleeping bag over her. Todd hesitated, not quite sure what to do. She folded back a corner of the sleeping bag, gesturing for him to join her. “Did you think I was going to hog up all the covers?” she asked lightly. “C’mon, after your tales of rattlesnakes and scorpions, I’ll feel safer with you near me. And you don’t have to worry that I’ll jump your bones—not with the way my ass feels tonight!” She laughed a little at her own expense and Todd hesitantly joined her on the blanket, pulling the sleeping bag up to his waist. He turned his back to her, staring into the flames.
“Delgado?” he asked sleepily when he felt her stir.
“Yeah?”
“I’ll save your ass anytime.” She chuckled slightly.
“Oh, that’s a bad one, Manning. I’ll have to think up a proper revenge for that remark.”
“Knock yourself out.” Several minutes went by and they were both almost asleep.
“And Todd?” asked Téa on the verge of sleep. “I know you laughed.”
