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| THE HEART HAS WINGS I BY MARY CATHERINE |
CHAPTER 6 |
“Incoming!” yelled Todd a few steps ahead of her.
“Ack!” cried Téa, shying away from yet another giant desert iguana as it lumbered across their path, clearly annoyed by having to move at their approach. Téa stopped to steady herself, feeling her heart pound in her chest. “God, I hate those things!” she said through gritted teeth. “They’re so god-damned ugly!” She looked up as she heard Todd snickering. “What’s so funny?” she asked, affronted by his levity.
“You,” he said simply, chuckling out loud. “You survive a plane crash, falling off a cliff, cactus needles in your ass…”
“Am I never going to live that down?” she interrupted, indignant.
“No. Anyway, you put up with stuff that would leave most chicks a quivering mass of jelly, but you’re afraid of a harmless lizard.”
She jutted her chin up defiantly. “I’m not afraid of them! I just…they’re…ugly, that’s all.”
“Oh. So you won’t be bothered by that one right behind you…”
Shrieking in dismay, Téa leapt forward, glancing behind her. Todd dissolved in laughter. “Very funny, Manning,” she said, staring at him with her hands on her hips. She affected a stern expression, but the rare sight of Todd laughing soon won her over and she shared in his good humor, even though it was at her own expense. Since they were stopped anyway, Todd took the opportunity to pull out one of their precious bottles of water. He took a quick sip, then offered it to Téa. She moved close to him, aiding him to stow the bottle in his pack. She was a bit startled as he grabbed her hand, but he pulled it toward him, examining her wounds.
“How’re these feeling?” he asked. “Any swelling or redness?” Téa shook her head and he repeated the process with her other arm. “Good,” he said. “Make sure to try and keep any sand or dirt out of the cuts.” It seemed to Téa that he lingered a bit, holding on to her hand just a little bit longer than necessary. They were very close, and as Téa looked up, their eyes locked. After a long moment, Todd reached up and adjusted her seed cap slightly lower on her brow. “You’re getting burned,” he said gruffly before turning his back and starting off into the brush again. Téa followed after him with a sigh.
That’s what was different about today, what made the whole ordeal seem easier, she thought as they trudged along. They were no longer adversaries, but companions in arms. The intimacy of Todd’s ministrations to her damaged posterior had certainly brought down some walls that even a plane crash hadn’t managed to budge. Instead of barking orders at her and making it clear he thought of her as an unwanted nuisance, Todd was asking her opinion, seeing to her safety and comfort as best he could, and occasionally cracking a joke. Little by little, the man that Téa loved was emerging from the shell of anger that he had built to protect himself. She could only hope that he was mulling over what she had told him about his loved ones back in Llanview as the dusty miles went by. She planned to make another assault on his heartstrings when they made camp again. One thing was for sure—she had to convince him to return to the States before they made it to Campo René.
After another afternoon siesta, the travelers set off again, guided by the electronic GPS they had salvaged from the plane. The terrain was flatter now, with fewer gullies to negotiate. The ever-present vultures that perched on the cacti and rocks were a bit disconcerting, but Téa got used to them. The iguanas, however, were something else. She couldn’t explain her visceral revulsion to the slow, heavily scaled reptiles, except that they looked like something out of her childhood nightmares. She remembered admiring some sleek, beautifully green iguanas in a Manhattan exotic pet shop years before. Somehow, those elegant creatures seemed worlds away from their thick-skinned, ungraceful and dull cousins of the desert. Ironically, in a land where a simple cactus could shred your skin, and every bush and rock could harbor deadly snakes or other venomous creatures, the fearsome iguanas were harmless.
As the sun dipped close to the Pacific Ocean, Téa’s stomach rumbled loudly. She was looking forward to making camp again soon, although the thought of going hungry another night was not pleasant. At least she’d have a chance to talk to Todd again, and share his company. She pushed away the thought that they might soon be parted again--perhaps forever—if he refused to return with her.
“Here’s another one, Delgado,” said Todd in a weary voice. Téa stopped abruptly, using Todd to shield herself from the huge iguana. This one seemed either defiant, or incredibly stupid. It just lay across their path, its eyes moving in all directions and it didn’t seem in any hurry to get out of the way.
“Ick!” said Téa. “Quick! Shoo it away!”
“No wait!” said Todd. “I have an idea.” Grabbing her hand, he slowly led her back a few feet, careful not to startle the large reptile. Pulling out his pocket tool, he cut off a branch of mesquite and began whittling on one end.
“What are you doing?” asked Téa, unable to take her eyes away from the dreaded animal.
“Making a weapon. I’m going to kill it.”
“But you said they were harmless!” said Téa, wondering why this particular iguana had managed to bring out Todd’s baser instincts.
“Look, Delgado,” said Todd, wielding the knife furiously. “We’ve had nothing to eat but a couple of crackers with that crappy cheese stuff. It’s almost suppertime and I’m starving. I’m gonna get us some meat.”
“Meat?” said Téa incredulously, staring with wide eyes at the unsuspecting lizard. “You don’t mean…are you kidding me? You can’t possibly plan to eat THAT.”
“Why not? One of the locals told me the native Indians hunted and ate them all the time. They’re supposed to taste like chicken.”
“Are you out of your mind?! There is no way I’m going to eat that…that thing!”
“Suit yourself, Delgado. Just stay the hell out of my way.” Reaching down to pick up a heavy rock in his left hand, he hefted the stick in his right. He had stripped away all the twigs, leaving only two small branches that formed a V at one end. Stealthily, he approached the prey, as Téa looked on with trepidation, ready to bolt at the first sign of movement from the scaly, would-be meal. “Sorry, Buddy,” muttered Todd under his breath as he got within striking distance. “But it’s you or me.” With blinding speed, the makeshift spear flashed forward, pinning the iguana’s neck to the sand in the notched end. Téa screamed as the frightened animal began to thrash its body around, whipping its tail from side to side. Hardly a heartbeat later, Todd brought the rock down heavily on the captive’s head, crushing its skull. Téa felt her stomach lurch at the sickening sound of crunching bone as Todd struck a few more times to make sure of the job. He straightened up, surveying his handiwork. The dead iguana lay in the sand, its body twitching involuntarily.
Téa approached the carcass gingerly, as though afraid that it might suddenly leap to life and scurry past her like so many of its brethren had that day. “Now what?” she asked, turning up her nose at the carnage.
“Now we cook us up some iguana,” said Todd in a matter of fact tone.
“But…but what do you do with it? How are you supposed to prepare a reptile, for heaven’s sake?”
“Well, you got your iguana burger, and your iguana fried steak,” said Todd, affecting a lazy southern accent. “Your iguana kabob and iguana fricassee. Then there’s iguana Wellington and iguana a la orange…”
“Stop!” ordered Téa, holding up a hand as she shook with laughter. “Ow, my rib hurts when I laugh!” He grinned, gratified to see her beautiful smile. “Look Todd, that thing is disgusting, and I don’t know if I can even look at it, let alone eat it without ralphing. But I may just be hungry enough to try. So, why don’t you make ‘Iguana Surprise’ while I set up camp.”
“Hey wait a minute,” said Todd. “I did the man’s work—the Great White hunter shtick. Cooking is women’s work. Prepare my iguana, wench!” he ordered playfully.
Téa feigned exasperation. “I guarantee you, Manning, there is no way I’m touching that thing. So, unless you want iguana sushi for supper, I suggest you make a fire and get a spit of some kind set up.” Todd’s grin was so beautiful in the setting sun it almost made Téa’s heart stop. As he set about making a fire, Téa opened the pack with the bedding and spread it out under a mesquite bush.
“Careful, Téa,” warned Todd. “You really shouldn’t set out the blankets so early. Scorpions are nocturnal, and they’ll head for the warmth after dark. Make sure to shake out that stuff before we go to sleep.” Leaving her to her task, Todd moved a short distance away into the bush before gutting and skinning the iguana. He was careful to bury the offal, lest it attract scavengers. When he returned, he had several long sticks threaded with strips of iguana meat. Téa felt her stomach lurch. First cactus spines and now iguana meat. Could things get any worse?
Todd carefully set the sticks over the fire, anchoring them with stones. He watched Téa across the fire. She looked green around the gills. He wasn’t about to admit it, but his gorge was rising at the thought of eating lizard as well. “Good news,” he said, trying to get both of their minds off the choice of entrees. “I checked the GPS. We made over 8 miles today. If we can keep up the pace tomorrow, we should make Campo René by nightfall. Good thing, too, because we only have about a day’s worth of water left.”
Téa nodded her head at the news, happy that the end was in sight, yet strangely disappointed as well. She would miss this intimacy when the journey was over, however welcome some decent food and bathing facilities might be. Todd began to pull off his motorcycle boots. He stripped off the socks and wiggled his toes in the sand.
“God, that feels good. My feet are killing me.” He caught her eye. “I…uh…guess it doesn’t smell too good…”
“Don’t worry. The iguana stench drowns it out.” They both laughed. “Todd, just remember to be careful in the dark. Running around barefoot might not be such a good idea.” She held up her bandaged arms. “I know from experience what kind of damage a few cactus spines can do.”
“’Nuff said, Delgado. I’ll watch out.” He leaned over to check the roasting meat. “I don’t know how to tell if this stuff is done.”
“It doesn’t really matter, Todd. I don’t think I’ll be able to choke it down.”
“Look, you have to try. If you lose strength, we won’t be able to make it to the coast tomorrow, and we might run out of water. Looks like there might be leftovers to pack along with us.”
“Oh goody,” sighed Téa. “Nothing I like better than leftover iguana sandwiches.” After a few more minutes, Todd removed one of the sticks from the fire and waved it around to cool it. He examined the meat closely and determined that it was cooked through. He set the other sticks aside to cool.
“Well, it’s now or never,” he said, handing one of the kabobs to Téa. They sat across the fire from each other, looking at their supper with trepidation. “You first,” said Todd.
“No way! This was your idea, Manning. You be the guinea pig.”
“It could be worse, Delgado. Did you ever see that movie where the soccer team crashed in the mountains and they had to eat…”
“Yes! Now shut up! I don’t want to think about that right before I have to eat…” She covered her hand with her mouth, trying to control her involuntary retching.
“C’mon! How bad can it be? It’s protein, right?” After a long pause, Todd leaned in and gingerly nibbled at the outer edge of the meat. “See? I didn’t keel over and die.”
“Does it really taste like chicken?” asked Téa weakly.
“Yes,” said Todd. Looking deep into his eyes, Téa took a tiny bite of her iguana on a stick. Her eyes bugged out as she quickly swallowed the offensive morsel. She coughed and sputtered, looking daggers at her companion. “It does taste like chicken,” said Todd, chuckling. “Chicken that’s been left out in the hot sun for three days and stewed in sewage.” He took another tentative bite, chewing quickly and trying not to think too much about the texture. “Look, it’s food, OK? We aren’t exactly in the supermarket here. Go on, eat some more,” he said, setting the example. Todd managed to choke down two pieces of the reptile, but Téa only made it through half of hers before giving up. After washing it down with a couple of small sips of water, they carefully placed the cooked meat back over the fire, hoping to dry it out into something resembling jerky. “This should get us to Camp René,” said Todd quietly.
Téa looked at her companion, again feeling the fear of separation. “Todd, what happens then? When we get to this camp you speak of?” She tried to keep her voice even, but she waited to hear his answer with her heart in her throat.
“Huh? Well, I don’t know about you, but I plan to take a good long swim in the ocean, drink my fill of sweet water and stuff my face with some real food.” He looked with distaste at the drying meat. It gave off a smell that didn’t increase its palatability one little bit.
“That’s not what I meant, Todd. We aren’t going to stay in Campo René forever.” He sighed heavily.
“Téa, I know you want me to come back to the States and face the music, but I can’t. That part of my life is over now. I guess I’ll wander around ‘til I find some place that doesn’t suck too bad and stay there until the law catches up again and I have to move.”
Téa felt profoundly sad. “Is that the existence you really want, Todd? You could have so much more, you know.”
“We’ve been through this,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’d only screw it up again, and hurt a lot of people in the process. It’s better for all concerned if I just stay away.”
“You know what? I’m sure Starr would disagree with you, and probably Sam and Viki, too. But I can’t speak for them right now, Todd. I can only speak for myself.” She hesitated, fearing the rejection that had been so much a part of their marriage. Taking a deep breath, she decided to go for it and throw all the cards on the table. “I want you in my life again. I…I still love you.” Todd’s head snapped up. Their eyes locked across the fire. “It isn’t that I didn’t try to forget you—I did. But it was no use, Todd. You spoiled me for anyone else. It’s why I came down here. I didn’t want to catch you, or help the authorities bring you in. I…I wanted to find you and tell you that I want to start over. I want to spend my life with you, Todd. Only you.”
As Todd stared at her, his eyes seemed shinier than before. “How can you even look at me after what I’ve done?” he said with a catch in his voice. “I threw our love away, Téa. There’s no going back after that.”
“Are you saying that you don’t share my love?” she asked in a quiet voice. “You’re over me, or maybe you never felt that way about me at all.” Bitterness tinged the air.
“That’s not what I meant, Delgado,” he said, rubbing his hands on the knees of his jeans. “I think about you all the time. Sometimes, I let myself hope…but then reality sets in. What we had was in the past.”
“It doesn’t have to be. I’m willing to stand by you, help you any way I can. There is nothing I won’t do for you, Todd. If we go back to Llanview…”
“There’s nothing for me back in Llanview except a locked cell. And save your breath about all the shrinks and judges and goody two shoes out their just waiting in line to help me. It doesn’t work like that.”
“There’s me, Todd. Me. And I love you! If you’ll just let me help you…”
“You shouldn’t love me, Delgado. I’ll hurt you! Just like all the other times! No! I’m not going back. When we get to Campo René, you’ll go your way and I’ll go mine. And that’s the end of it!” He turned his back abruptly, and Téa put her head down, letting the tears flow. After a few minutes of looking at the gorgeous desert twilight, Todd turned toward the fire and looked at Téa surreptitiously out of the corner of his eye. He hated the silence that had descended between them. Today had been so good—laughing and teasing each other. It reminded him of how much he had missed her during the past year. Could he really walk away when she offered him everything he craved? Was there a chance for him? For them? No, it was better not to hope for anything so good. He didn’t want to hurt her again. They should part as soon as possible. But he couldn’t stand seeing her sitting there, her spirit broken… “Téa?” he asked in a small voice, breaking the oppressive silence.
“There’s nothing more to say, Todd!” she shouted, surprising him with the venom in her voice. “You’re determined to self-destruct. Fine. Go it alone again. But someday remember you had a lot of people who loved you, and you threw them away!” She stood up, glaring down at him. The reflection of the fire danced in her dark eyes. “You know, you risk your life time and time again to save me, to help me. What a pity you won’t lift a finger to save yourself!” She moved away, angrily flinging back the covers on the makeshift bed. Throwing herself down, she turned on her side, furiously showing him her back.
“Delgado, please,” said Todd coming around the fire to stand at her side. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be locked up.”
“Oh?” she spat angrily, still turned away from him. “I think I have an idea. I should. I’m a prosecuting attorney now.” Todd opened his eyes wide, staring at her in shock. “That certainly shut you up,” said Téa, dashing at the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. “Maybe you’ll believe me now when I say that I’m convinced I can persuade the judge to give you a light sentence, particularly if you agree to try therapy.”
Todd remained immobile, struggling with this new bombshell as he fought down the feelings of betrayal. Suddenly, he noticed a tiny movement in the blankets, dangerously close to Téa’s neck. Reacting quickly, he kicked at the miniature shadow, remembering too late that he was barefoot. The target went flying into the sand a few feet away. “Damn!” he shouted, sitting down quickly and cradling his foot, which was stinging badly.
Téa turned over, watching him against the fire. “What’s the matter?” she asked, realizing something was wrong. Gritting his teeth, Todd fumbled in the knapsack, retrieving a flashlight. Focusing the beam on the sand, he highlighted the culprit—a tiny, one-inch long scorpion, which was now scurrying away from the camp across the sand. Turning the light on his foot, he found the small puncture wound on his big toe. The area was already beginning to turn red and swell. “Todd, what is it?” asked Téa, getting frantic at his prolonged silence.
A chilling laugh was her answer. “God really has a sick sense of humor,” said Todd, sweating profusely. Suddenly he stopped his maniacal laughter, and his face crumpled. “I’m dead, Téa. I’m dead.”
