Todd left the mansion with a new energy, a new zest and a real goal. His conversation with himself left him promising himself that he would no longer fall back into the patterns of the past. He didn’t have a ‘to do’ list. He didn’t have a written plan. There were, however, aspects of his past that had worked for him and he would push those elements to their limit. ‘Winging it’ and ‘getting through the day’ were two old friends that would stay by his side, throughout this endeavor. Tenacity was another. His goal was huge, the payoff uncertain and for the first time in his life, he was afraid in a good way. He didn’t know if he could help Tea, but he knew now that he had to try. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he didn’t. And the thought of daily chats and visits from his insides were totally unappealing. He wanted to count on himself and even more, he wanted Tea to be able to count on him. He knew he’d have to fight the trust battle all over again, but he would try to get her to see that he hadn’t let her down since he had come back for her. Determination was his final friend that would join him on this quest.
Tea coming back to him was his hope. Tea getting better was his goal. He knew he’d have more luck getting her well, than getting her back. It was a huge risk for him, but there was no question that his priorities were in the right order for the first time in his usually, inevitably, miserable life. He had decided once and for all that a life without Tea was well worth it, knowing she was alive and well, out there, somewhere, even if it was not with him. He was finally ready to put someone else’s needs before his own. What a brave new world he had just entered. But oh, how he hoped and prayed, that in the end, he could have it all. The whole nine yards. He laughed inwardly realizing he now had a long list with everything on it and he wanted it, just for the two of them. For the four of them. Finally, the family he wanted.
His thoughts had raced along almost as quickly as his trip back to the hospital. He had been lucky that Miss Perkins was able to be a comfort to Tea on the night he had inappropriately chosen to be out of commission. All reports were that she had rested well and long and hard. He excused the doctors, the nurses and Miss Perkins. He wanted to be the one holding her hand when she awoke. He got his wish, shortly after his settling in for duty.
Tea: Todd. Have you been here all night?
Todd: I hate this not lying stuff, cuz it’s going to make me sound like a pig for not having been here all night.
Tea: I’m glad you weren’t here all night. Your daughter needs you too, Todd.
Todd: If you only knew. If you could only remember.
Tea: I can remember Starr and don’t start with me today.
Todd: Okay, calm down. Not today. But I am telling you right here and right now, it will be soon Tea. It’s time to do the work. It’s time to get you better. People are counting on you.
Tea: Who? Who’s counting on me? And since when do you get to bark the medical orders? I am still in a hospital, aren’t I?
Todd: Yes, you’re still in the hospital. But they put me in charge.
Tea: And this would be because?
Todd: The way they explained it to me is because of trust. Actually, your lack thereof.
Tea: Now you’ve lost me. Trust has never been your strong suit. Giving it OR receiving it. You have so lost me.
Todd: No, actually, I just found you and I’m not losing you again. They’ve stuck you with me because there seems to be no one on earth you trust least. So tell me, do you like it here Tea?
Tea: As far as hospitals go, it’s okay, but I would prefer to be somewhere else.
Todd: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Tea: I don’t know. Somewhere near the water again. That was nice when you took me out on the water.
Todd: So what if I got a place nearby here? A place near the water and near the hospital.
Tea: Don’t you have a place nearby for Starr? What’s wrong with that place?
Todd: I won’t lie, but I can’t answer that. You have to trust me on this one Tea.
Tea: I get it. You don’t want me around Starr. You don’t trust me with your daughter.
Todd: Would you trust me with yours?
Tea: What? What a stupid question, Todd.
Todd: Yeah, that’s me. Stupid Todd. El stupido. Drop it Tea. You won’t get me to tell you anything, YET and you won’t win this one.
Tea: But what if I push?
Todd: Usual. I’ll push back.
Tea: But what if I win?
Todd: You won’t. I told you already, I won’t let you win this one. The stakes are too high. Starr will be nearby and she really wants to see you. There are others who really want to see you too.
Tea: Like who? Who are all these other people who want to see me?
Todd: Everybody. You obviously don’t remember how popular you are. But not everyone is special enough to get to see you right away. Some will get their wish. Others won’t. Some sooner than others. I’ll decide their level of need. Right now, you’re stuck with me.
Tea: So if I decide to go with you to this nearby place, what will we do? Will we have to talk?
Todd: Unfortunately, that would be the plan.
Tea: Well, if you’re so uneasy with this plan, why go?
Todd: I’d tell you but you probably wouldn’t believe me.
Tea: Try me anyway.
Todd: For you. Oh, Tea! You’ve got to know by now that I would do anything for you. I once offered to make the world end for you. And it looks like it happened, even without me trying.
Tea: Let me think about it. I want to rest now.
Todd: That’s all you’ve done today.
Tea: You’re making me think and that makes me tired.
Todd: Then rest it is. I’m holding your hand, like I’m supposed to. Like you want me too. (Taking her hand in his.)
Tea: (Pulling her hand away) I don’t want, or need you to hold my hand.
Todd: (Standing above her…staring in her eyes) You don’t have to do this.
Tea: You don’t get to tell me what I can do. (Fighting back with what she perceives is anger in his eyes.)
Todd: (Gently placing his hand over hers again and speaking in very calm, gentle tone) It’s not about telling you what you can and cannot do. It’s about refusing to let you push me away. (Moving his head closer to hers, moving his mouth closer to hers, moving his eyes, closer to hers.) You can say whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. I’m not going anywhere. Push all you like. If it makes you stronger, good. If it makes you fight to get away from me, good. Anything that makes you better.
Tea: So I can tell you to go to hell…
Todd: (interrupting) and I’ll tell you someday, but not today. We have work to do.
Tea: And if I tell you that I appreciate your effort but I’m not interested?
Todd: I’ll tell you that’s nice, but not today. We have work to do.
Tea: And what if I get the police to put a restraining order against you?
Todd: You think a piece of paper could stop me? Has it ever stopped me? Oh, come on, Delgado. You know how I am when I want something and you’ll never know how hard it is to be so…so…
Tea: So selfless? So trusting?
Todd: Yeah, all those horrible things that I’d rather eat a handful of eight penny nails than do.
Tea: Now that sounds more like you.
Todd: Ah, you’re just trying to flatter me. You don’t need to. I already said I’d help you.
Tea: So what? You’re my fairy Godmother, now? You’re my Good Witch of the North? You’re my very own…
Todd: (interrupting) Don’t you do it. Don’t you dare say it!
Tea: …er-bell? (she giggles softly, her eyes softening and relaxing for the first time since he had seen her again. He had managed to get her to drop her defenses.)
Todd: You just had to do it, didn’t you? (no humor or sweetness present, only the same steely-eyed cruelty that comes with betraying Todd Manning) You just had to push me past even MY limitations! I’ll teach you what happens to people when they cross the line with Todd Manning. (Todd reaches in gently tickling her on her torso, under her arms. He snuggles his face to her neck and lightly kisses her, raising his mouth so his breath falls seductively about her ear.)
Although her initial reaction is one of playfulness, she quickly falls back into the protective mode of not wanting to be sexual with anyone after her ordeal with Powell.
Tea: Stop it. (She physically pushes him away.) What are you doing?
Todd: I was just trying to…(pause)…never mind!
Tea: You ruined it. You just had to push it past the boundaries.
Todd: What boundaries? We never discussed boundaries.
Tea: Then maybe we should. (Beginning to softly cry.) I don’t know what you could possibly want from me. I’m damaged goods, Todd. I’m no good for anyone. Anyone I ever loved, ever cared about, has to learn to do without me now. I’ll never be able to trust or love or care…EVER!
Todd: Enough. I won’t let you shut me out. I love you, Tea. And I want to show you just how much.
Tea: (Continuing with her rant…raising her voice, visibly out of control) and I most certainly won’t ever be able to have sex again. NEVER!
Todd: What a relief!
Tea: (Stopped dead in her tracks…dead in her thoughts…totally confused) What??!!?
Todd: Finally, you’re seeing things my way. I never wanted or needed that aspect of our whatever the hell we’re going to call this. (He stands and turns away from her. He’s lying. For the first time in his life, he can’t look her in the eye and lie.) I’ve brought something with me that I want you to see. I’ll be right back.
Tea sits frustrated with her own feelings. She’s always wanted Todd. Emotionally, yes, but physically and sexually as well. Her words betray her inner feelings. She can feel the conflicting emotions battling deep inside. She doesn’t have to let him in on her inner feelings. He taught her well, all those years, how to avoid true feelings.
Todd leaves the room, grabbing his chest, almost floored by the arrangement he’s just agreed to. He never realized until this moment what it feels like to have someone declare that they will never be able to be intimate with someone who, on the other end, is dying for that intimacy.
Todd: Truly, the switch is complete. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this, having tasted her essence and never being allowed to go back to the nest. What’s even more sad, is that I feel for her. I know I’m not the best lay in the world, but what we had was good. (Looking up at the ceiling) It’s not fair to have given me this, this reward, only to take it away. And it’s not fair to take HER ability to pleasure, herself and me so completely, only for her to never know this with anyone, even if its not me, ever again. Is this another one of Your cruel jokes? I know I’m fighting something bigger than me, but I’m letting You know right here, right now…I’m fighting You on this one, Big Guy. I don’t see how I can live without knowing her again. Not even a glimmer of hope that I’ll know her again? But depriving her? I draw the limit there. She will know that happiness again. Even if it’s not me. But God, how I want it to be with me.
Todd pulls himself together. He props the door open and enters the room. He helps Tea sit up comfortably in her bed.
Todd: I’m about to show off. I’m about to show you how nice it can be having Todd Manning as an ally.
Tea: I haven’t lost all of my memory, Todd. I may not always remember what it was like to be your ally, but I know I’d rather be your ally than your enemy.
Todd: Yeah, well…Good! And if you remember that, let’s see what you think of this? (Todd snaps his fingers and into the room comes employee after employee of the local florist, carrying bouquet after bouquet, vase after vase of beautifully cut flowers. Roses of all kinds. Carnations of every color. Daisies to cheer the room. Small arrangements. Large arrangements. Gaudy arrangements. Tasteful arrangements. The room is filled quickly with the aroma and softness of their natural scents, blending to make the room feel fresh, fragrant and special.) I told you once that I bought you flowers cuz you’re a girl and girls like flowers. You like them?
Tea: (Overwhelmed) Todd, they’re beautiful. (He hands her a fusca colored carnation. She takes the carnation in her hand and sniffs it lightly.) I don’t know what to say.
Todd: Say you’ll give me four weeks, Tea. Just four weeks. What have you got to lose?
Tea smiles, a familiar smile, that tells Todd he’s already won. No further words are necessary. She knows he’s made her the one offer she cannot refuse.
