ESSEMTEE Online Movies

Movies viewed on the big screen since August 1996:
ATTENTION!
This is probably the only film review site on the net that includes the endings! (I'm not sure though, I haven't really checked!) Of course if you've already seen the films, you've got nothing to worry about! Thing is, you have have to look at the list to know which ones you have or haven't seen! ; )

1996 | 1997 | 1998 | 1999 | 2000 | 2001 | 2002

Escape From L.A. - Who's in it: Kurt Russell, Steve Buscemi, Pam Grier.
More of a remake than a sequel to Escape From New York, Snake Plissken battles his way through a prison island and a poor script.
Ending: He escapes.
Best scene: The last shot in the basketball game.

The Long Kiss Goodnight - Who's in it: Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, Craig Bierko.
Geena is once again miscast by her ex-husband director as an amnesiac assassin. Big, long, and brutally violent.
Ending: She kills her husband and gets her daughter, her life, and her memory back.
Best scene: The way Geena diverts partner Samuel's attention so she can rip a bandage from his stomach.

Jingle All The Way - Who's in it: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Rita Wilson.
An odd movie role choice for Arnie (if you don't count Mr. Freeze!) as a dad searching for the latest sell-out action figure during Christmas.
Ending: He doesn't just get the action figure, he dresses up as the action figure in a Christmas float parade.
Best scene: A cameo by krooked Kris Kringle Jim Belushi.

That Thing You Do! - Who's in it: Tom Hanks, Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler.
Small, sweet film chronicling a 50's garage band's experience with one-hit wonderdom.
Ending: They split up and go their separate ways.
Best scene: The mispronouncing of the band's uniquely spelled name.

Ransom - Who's in it: Mel Gibson, Rene Russo, Gary Sinise.
Tight, taught thriller as a bloodshot-eyed Mel runs around town trying to get his son back from bad cop Sinise and his sleazy captor friends.
Ending: Mel gets his son back and kills Sinise.
Best scene: Sinise visits Mel's home, Mel's son pees his pants.

Space Jam - Who's in it: Michael Jordan, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck.
Warner Bros. and their ultimate butt-kiss tribute to His Royal Airness. With the huge budget, you'd expect Bugs Bunny to sound more like...Bugs Bunny, but he doesn't!
Ending: Michael uses toon powers to win the crucial basketball game.
Best scene: Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam spoof Pulp Fiction.

Star Trek: First Contact - Who's in it: Patrick Stewart, Alfre Woodard, James Cromwell.
The Next Generation crew finally get their own movie. With the FX and the battles with the Borg, the overall look of ST #8 is very impressive.
Ending: The main villain, the Borg Queen, gets destroyed.
Best scene: The Borg Queen and Data making out.

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America - Who's doing the voices: Mike Judge, Demi Moore, Robert Stack.
Like, this is a movie about uhh, two dudes, and they like, gotta get their stolen TV back, and they meet a chick and her boyfriend along the way, or something. Huh-huh-huh, you said "thing".
Ending: They get their stolen TV back, that's cool, but they like, don't get laid, that sucks!
Best scene: The two dudes have a trippy psychadelic near-death experience.

Scream - Who's in it: Neve Campbell, Skeet Ulrich, Rose McGowan.
High schooler Neve finds life imitates art as she and her horror-flick loving buddies get offed one by one. Oh, and Courteney Cox plays a TV reporter.
Ending: It was Neve's boyfriend and his pals doing the slayings the whole time. Neve and Courteney survive, (Drew Barrymore certainly does not!)
Best scene: The climax, then the next one, then the one after that...

The People vs. Larry Flynt - Who's in it: Woody Harrelson, Courtney Love, Edward Norton.
Small-town guy is bored with usual girlie mags, so he creates his own, despite fundamentalists, and paralysis from a gunshot wound.
Ending: Wife Courtney drowns in the bathtub. Larry remains wheelchair-bound and his magazine stays as naughty as it always was.
Best scene: Quote: "Is that the Tinman??"

Dante's Peak - Who's in it: Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Charles Hallahan.
Residents of a small town feel the wrath of a nearby volcano's blast.
Ending: Pierce, Linda, the kids and the dog survive.
Best scene: Any scene with people inches away from seething lava, and they don't feel a thing.

Evita - Who's in it: Madonna, Antonio Banderas, Jonathan Pryce.
Madonna sings as Argentinian leader's wife in this all-singing song-fest.
Ending: She dies, singing.
Best scene: When the crowd sings "Eviiiita, Eviiiita..."
- 1997 -
Star Wars: Special Edition - Who's in it: Mark Hamill, Alec Guinness, Harrison Ford.
Come on, you know what this one's about! Plus, you get to see a better looking Mos Eisley Spaceport and an enhanced Death Star run.
Ending: With the help of the Force and Han Solo, Luke destroys the Death Star. Our heroes get their victory medals.
Best scene: Take your pick!

The Empire Strikes Back: Special Edition - Who's in it: Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher.
Anything that can go wrong for our heroes does in the darker episode of the trilogy. Plus, you get a better look at Cloud City.
Ending: Luke escapes Vader. Lando and Chewie set out to get the carbonite-frozen Han from Jabba the Hutt.
Best scene: Take your pick!!

Return of the Jedi: Special Edition - Who's in it: Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, David Prowse.
Our heroes duke it out with the Empire once more in a tri-level battle. Plus, you get to see a funky dance number at Jabba's Palace.
Ending: Vader dies. The Death Star is blown up again. Citizens of Cloud City, Mos Eisley, and Coruscant are seen celebrating the Empire's defeat.
Best scene: Take your pick!!!

The English Patient - Who's in it: Ralph Fiennes, Kristin Scott-Thomas, Juliette Binoche.
A badly burnt soldier tells the long (and I do mean long!) tale of his tragic love affair during World War I.
Ending: His lover dies in a cave.
Best scene: The sandstorm.

Booty Call - Who's in it: Jamie Foxx, Tommy Davidson, Vivica A. Fox.
Two guys discover that trying to get busy with their dates is a lot harder than they planned.
Ending: They all get laid.
Best scene: The double date in the Chinese restaurant.

Liar Liar - Who's in it: Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Cary Elwes.
Jim is in top funny-face form as a neglectful lawyer whose young son makes a birthday wish: his father can't lie for a day, right before a big court case.
Ending: Carrey wins the case and his sons affections again.
Best scene: Carrey is forced to tell the boss what he really thinks of him, the results are gut-busting.

Volcano - Who's in it: Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Don Cheadle.
Lava starts to erupt right in the middle of Los Angeles, Tommy and Anne try to stop the lava from creating more damage to the city.
Ending: They divert the lava flow by blasting a trench through the city to the ocean.
Best scene: Any scene with people inches away from seething lava, and they don't feel a thing.

Romy & Michele's High School Reunion - Who's in it: Lisa Kudrow, Mira Sorvino, Janeane Garofalo.
Two ditzy babes pretend to be super-successful to impress their stuck-up former classmates.
Ending: Romy (or is it Michele?) gets the former high school nerd-turned rich guy.
Best scene: Michele (or is it Romy?) faking sex to get a car.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - Who's in it: Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mike Myers (again).
A groovy agent is frozen in the swinging 60's and thawed out in the 90's to stop the evil Dr. Evil. Yeah, baby!
Ending: Austin gets to shag the girl he was assigned to work with. Dr. Evil escapes, again.
Best scene: The amount of money Dr. Evil demands from the world's leaders.

The 5th Element - Who's in it: Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Chris Tucker.
A 23rd Century taxi driver meets a girl who's the only link to finding the fifth element.
Ending: He combines all five elements, and saves the Earth.
Best scene: The blue-skinned opera singer's performance.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park - Who's in it: Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite.
Ian Malcolm and his new friends flee from more dinosaurs on the island on which the beasties were genetically created. A shipped T-Rex finds his way to the streets of San Diego.
Ending: They get the T-Rex back to the island, and then leave the isolated dino-populated island alone so it can thrive.
Best scene: The T-Rex stomping around town, munching on civilians.

Con Air - Who's in it: Nicolas Cage, John Malkovich, John Cusack.
Good guy ex-con Cage finds himself on a plane hijacked by some really naughty criminals.
Ending: Cage reunites with with his wife and meets his young daughter for the first time (awww!)
Best scene: Quote: "Put the bunny back in the box."

Speed 2: Cruise Control - Who's in it: Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric, Willem Dafoe.
Sandra finds herself on a hijacked ocean liner, but her boyfriend (not Keanu Reeves this time) does all the rough work.
Ending: The hijacking bad guy gets blown up, Sandra takes driving lessons again.
Best scene: Sandra and her chainsaw.

Batman & Robin - Who's in it: Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Chris O' Donnell.
Batman, Robin and Batgirl versus Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy. That's pretty much all you need to know.
Ending: Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy are defeated, but not killed.
Best scene: Um, well, the opening credits were pretty cool.

Hercules - Who's doing the voices: Tate Donovan, James Woods, Susan Egan.
The Greek tale done Disney, as an Earthbound God becomes a walking endorsement.
Ending: He gets to return to Mount Olympus, but decides to stay on Earth with sweetheart Megara than live on Olympus with the other gods.
Best scene: The battle with the Hydra.

Face/Off - Who's in it: John Travolta, Nicolas Cage, Joan Allen.
A cop switches faces with super bad-guy to find out information from bad-guy's brother.
Ending: They get their own faces back.
Best scene: When Cage wakes up and realizes he has no face!

Men In Black - Who's in it: Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rip Torn.
Mr. Smith joins with Mr. Jones in a super-secret team of alien investigation agents.
Ending: Tommy retires and coroner Linda Fiorentino teams up with Will as the first WIB.
Best scene: Will helping a woman give birth to an alien baby.

Contact - Who's in it: Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Skerritt.
A strong-willed UFOlogist finally gets a signal from some outer space neighbours.
Ending: She meets an alien in the form of her late father, but no-one believes her when she returns.
Best scene: The cacophanous voyage through deepest computer-generated space at the movie's start.

Air Force One - Who's in it: Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close.
The President has his mega-cool plane hijacked by Russian terrorists.
Ending: The First Family survive as the plane crashes into the ocean.
Best scene: When Harrison calls the White House on a cellphone from the plane, only to be accused by the operator of being a crank caller.

My Best Friend's Wedding - Who's in it: Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Cameron Diaz.
A food critic (Julia) tries to stop the marriage of a bubbly young thing and the fella Julia's always been smitten with.
Ending: The wedding goes ahead anyway, after many wacky attempts at stopping it.
Best Scene: When Julia's "fiancee" Rupert Everett leads family, friends, and the whole restaurant into a big sing-along.

Picture Perfect - Who's in it: Jennifer Aniston, Jay Mohr, Kevin Bacon.
Jen pretends to be involved with a young guy to attract another guy she has the hots for, only to have the young guy fall for her.
Ending: She ends up with the young guy, not the other guy.
Best scene: The staged "break-up" scene.

Event Horizon - Who's in it: Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Joely Richardson.
An intergalactic crew seek out, find, and board a lost spaceship. The ship turns out to be possessed, but the crew find out too late.
Ending: Out of the whole crew, only two survive, and one of them goes insane from the ordeal.
Best scene: The captain's reaction to watching a video of what happened to the ship's original crew.

Mimic - Who's in it: Mira Sorvino, Jeremy Northam, Charles Dutton.
Scientist Mira and her scientist partner/husband discover a species of bugs that use human DNA.
Ending: They get rid of the creatures by blowing them all up at once.
Best scene: The matching of the polaroid photos, and what happens after that...

The Edge - Who's in it: Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, Elle Macpherson.
A billionaire (Hopkins) and his model wife's photographer (Baldwin) suffer the perils of getting stranded in the woods, and relentlessly pursued by a persistent grizzly bear.
Ending: One dies, and one survives.
Best scene: When Anthony tells Alec how to make fire out of ice.

Starship Troopers - Who's in it: Casper Van Dien, Dina Meyer, Denise Richards.
A futuristic legion of square-jawed guys and smiley-faced gals take out a legion of bugs, bugs and, er, more bugs.
Ending: The soldiers find the head bug (a giant slug-like creature with what looks like a vagina for a mouth), but they don't kill it.
Best scene: The gigantic Tank Beetle introduces itself to the soldiers.

Boogie Nights - Who's in it: Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore.
Overlong, pseudo-epic of Dirk Diggler, a young blockhead who rises up (ha-ha) in the porn film industry of the late 70's.
Ending: Dirk shows what got him famous in the first place.
Best scene: Early 80's down-on-his-luck Dirk trying to make it as a singer.

Alien: Resurrection - Who's in it: Sigourney Weaver, Winona Ryder, Ron Perlman.
Ellen Ripley is cloned and brought back to life 200 years after her fiery demise. She teams up with a gang of tuffs, including android Winona, to evade the two-mouthed monsters.
Ending: Her half-human-half-alien offspring gets sucked out of the window of the heroes' getaway ship.
Best scene: The underwater chase, then the ladder shoot-out.

Anastasia - Who's doing the voices: Meg Ryan, John Cusack, Christopher Lloyd.
20th Century Fox's Disney contendah of the young amnesiac princess of the Russian Romanov Empire.
Ending: She finds her family, but elopes with the dashing rogue who helped her regain her memory.
Best scene: The musical number set in Paris.

Titanic - Who's in it: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane.
The true mammoth tale of the mammoth ship, with a fictional love story between Kate and Leo attached. The film's $200 million price tag and set back opening date were worth it.
Ending: The ship sinks.
Best scene: When the ship sinks, of course!

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