Chapter 28
Jayme looked at her reflection in the mirror and sighed angrily, "this is not what I asked you to do." She said turning to her hair dresser.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked.
"I just....I....I don't know."
"I can change it a little but we don't have time to do a completely new style."
"I just wanted to look perfect."
"You look great."
"Yeah...." Jayme sighed checking out her outfit. She really did look great. Her hair was curled and piled on top of her head, her make up looked incredible and she wore a sky blue long dress with a long slit up the side.
But would it be enough for Nick to notice her? She hadn't seen him since she left the tour. AJ had called her and continuously tried to persuade her to call Nick, telling her that he did love her. But other than that she hadn't seen or heard from Nick, he was a stranger to her and she had no way of knowing who he was with and if he ever thought about her.
She yawned loudly and rubbed her temples as she felt tears well up in her eyes, this was not the time to start crying, she wanted to look perfect for Nick. She had to be strong, so she would have the courage to tell him how she felt. She had hoped the song she had chosen to sing would give her away, after all he was the only thing on her mind when she had written it, he was the only thing on her mind when she did anything.
Thoughts of her performance prompted her to turn to Erin who she had forgotten was in the room, her eyes widened when she realized how many people were actually in the room but she kept her eyes on Erin, "my outfit is ready for the performance right?"
"Yup, everything is set to go off as scheduled."
"Good, everything has to be perfect. Absolutely perfect."
"It will be sweetie, it will be."
Jayme nodded and turned her head, this had to work. It just had to. Tears again filled her eyes and she rested her hand on her stomach, she hated that feeling, she had butterflies in her stomach every time she set foot on a stage and now she had them just at the thought of seeing Nick.
"Don't cry." She whispered to herself. "Please don't cry."
Later that night she was escorted to the arena, she gave interviews along the way talking about her performance and about the possibility of winning three awards. But as she answered all her questions the only thing that consumed her mind was Nick, she watched closely for his arrival but at the same time prayed that he wouldn't arrive while she was still on the red carpet, as much as she wanted to she didn't know if she could handle it. Seeing him, being near him. Her heart ached at the thought. What if he was with someone else, what if he didn't even look or way?
Or worse what if he did and didn't care...
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Nick sighed as he sat in the limo that was escorting him to the award show. He looked over at Brian and Leighanne and then at Kevin and Kristin, AJ and Sarah. Everyone had someone, everyone but him. Images of Jayme flashed through his mind and the scene at his car with Kevin only a few days ago. How did things get so messed up? He just wanted to be with her.....was that so hard for her to understand? How could she not see it? Or the better question was how could he have not seen it sooner?
He sighed when he saw camera's flashing and heard fans screaming, this was it. He would see Jayme again. He felt as if he couldn't breathe. He wondered if he could handle seeing her. Would he break down? Would he run to her and kiss her passionately on the spot? Would he tell her how he felt, or would he chicken out?
But what feared him most was her reaction. What would she do? Would she even say hi to him, or even care? His eyes wandered around the area around him as he stepped out of the limo and began walking towards the arena, the smile never leaving his face as he waved at fans. What if she was with someone else? His breathe caught in his throat at the thought and he realized he couldn't go through with this and he turned around and headed for the limo again. He felt a pair of hands on his chest and looked over to see AJ.
"Where are you going?" AJ said in a loud whisper.
Nick's eyes were as big as they could get and his mouth hang open as his breath quickened, and he shook his head firmly, "no, AJ I can't. I can't do it. It's too hard. What if she's with someone else? What if she doesn't even wanna see me?" He rambled on and AJ smiled lightly.
"Come on Nicky, be strong. Let's go. I'm sure your just being paranoid. She's probably wondering the same thing about you right now."
Nick nodded and walked next to AJ as they walked towards the arena giving interviews along the way. His eyes scanned everyone he saw biting his lip when he didn't recognize any of the people as being Jayme. "Where are you Jayme?" He whispered to himself.
The guys were the first performance so they were rushed backstage so they could prepare. He tried looking for her as he was directed backstage but deep down knew she was already seated, he only hoped she was also looking around for him. "I love you Jayme." He said before stepping in to his dressing room.
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Jayme set in her seat staring blankly at the host of the show who was telling jokes and performing skits. She fiddled with anything she could get her hands on, anything to keep her hands occupied. Nick and the guys should be out soon and she felt like standing up and yelling for everyone to get the show on the road. She couldn't wait any longer. She needed to see him.
Finally the first presenter was announced and the first award was given out but now fast enough for Jayme.
When the presenter for the Backstreet Boys was announced she sat up feeling as though she couldn't breathe. This was it....Oh God.
The music began and tears instantly began falling down Jayme's cheeks and she furiously wiped them away, determined to stay strong.
The guys stepped out on stage and the defining screams of the fans grew louder but Jayme didn't hear anything all she could do, see, hear was Nick. He looked so great. His hair laid over his forehead and his eyes sparkled as they always did.
Music filled the air and the soft beautiful voices of the guys flowed through the crowd.
Nick sounded amazing and Jayme listened to the lyrics, tears again taking over her body and she realized that he had written the song for her.
I know you've been hurt one too many times
and all you need is someone to take the fear from your night
Oh baby/ I will be that guy
I'll love you for the rest of my life
but you gotta be by my side
no matter how far apart we are
no matter how many miles
you gotta let me in
to your heart an soul
Jayme only cried harder trying to hide her tears from everyone around her, she gasped loudly when Nick looked over at her and kept his eyes on her as he sang passionately....
You gotta trust me/ You gotta trust someone
you gotta let down your guard
you don't have to be afraid
Cause I'll love you like no one ever has
Baby just trust my love
Jayme smiled at the tears she saw in Nick's eyes and kept her eyes locked to his even as he walked to the other side of the stage to sing for the fans.
It kills me to see you with him
Cause he doesn't care when you cry
and every tear that falls from your eyes
hurts me more than you'll ever know
so don't waste your time
I'm down on my knees
begging please baby trust me
Nick made his way to the middle of the stage singing more deeply then he ever had in his life, his eyes never once leaving Jayme's.
You gotta trust me/ You gotta trust someone
you gotta let down your guard
you don't have to be afraid
Cause I'll love you like no one ever has
Baby just trust my love
He held on to the last note closing his eyes as the music took over his entire body. It was almost as if he and Jayme were the only ones in the room...
Trust in my love
Cause I'll never let you go
I'll never hurt you like he does
I'll love you forever
You know I'm telling the truth
you gotta trust me
They locked eyes one last time before the song began to fade.......
Baby just trust in me...
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Jayme sat in the bathroom floor completely ready to perform as she sobbed. Her entire body shaking with the force of her tears. Nick's song had touched her so deeply........she had no idea.
Maybe he did love her....maybe after all they could be together. She stood up and sniffled and wiped her nose with a tissue. She washed her face gently, careful not to mess he up her make up. She would be performing in a few minutes in front of thousands of people and the red puffy eyes she was sporting was not in.
She was directed behind the curtain where she would enter and sighed. She had to be able to handle this. Afterwards she knew she would see Nick.....they had won an award and lost one they only had one nomination left. Jayme had lost two and only had Best New Artist left.
She heard herself being announced and took a deep breathe, this was it. She heard the music begin and held the microphone tightly in her hands.
She stepped into the spotlight and smiled and the screams she heard in reply. And then she began to sing.
Touch my face/ wipe my tears away
Baby you always know just how I feel
Your the answer to all my dreams
Everything and anything I've ever wanted
loving you comes as easily as breathing
I'm just scared of you leaving
As the music began to intensify Jayme locked eyes with Nick and almost cried at the sight. His eyes seemed so full of love, he had tears in his eyes and he watched her so closely.
I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you
I guess somehow I thought you would see
The fear in my eyes
yet the love in my heart
I guess somehow I just expected you to love me back
Loving you is so easy but showing you is unbearable
Jayme knew she had never sounded so great, her eyes wandered over the crowd, the fans, but right back to Nick.
I'll never understand why it took me so long to open my eyes
and see you standing there
ready and waiting to love me until the end of time
if only you could see I'd love you as long
Her eyes never left Nick even as she held on to each note, giving into every emotion she was feeling at the moment.
I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you
I guess somehow I thought you would see
The fear in my eyes
yet the love in my heart
I guess somehow I just expected you to love me back
Loving you is so easy but showing you is unbearable
She looked at Nick as long as possible before closing her eyes she sang the last note of the song.
Oh baby I can't imagine not loving you
I only imagine you not loving me
praying that's not the case
and that one day we will be together
The music slowed and she stepped out of the spotlight smiling and the applause she received. She stepped behind the curtain prepared to wait until the next award was announced, it was for Best New Artist and she was told to wait until the winner had been announced in case it was her.
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