Chapter 27
"Nick? Can we talk?" Kevin asked as he followed Nick out of the studio.
"What is there to talk about?" Nick said not looking at Kevin but instead continuing to walk away.
"A lot. Look I'm worried about you. Please stop." Kevin persisted, still following Nick.
Nick sighed as he opened the door to leave, looking around for his car suddenly forgetting where he parked. He just wanted to leave, to go home and find a way to forget about everything. He spotted his car and groaned at how closely it was parked to Kevin's. "We'll talk later Kev, I gotta go," he said picking up speed.
"What is so important that you have to leave now?" Kevin asked quickening his speed to keep up with Nick.
Nick reached into his Jean pocket searching for his car keys. He pulled them out as he reached his car and began unlocking the door.
"Nick." Kevin interrupted grabbing his shirt and spinning him around.
"What the fuck. Kevin, God." Nick said adjusting his shirt.
"Talk to me. Please." Kevin pleaded.
Nick rolled his eyes and turned his head watching as AJ exited the studio wishing he could just go home. He just wanted to go home.
"Nick, something is wrong and I think I know what it is." Kevin told him.
Nick's head shot around and he stared at Kevin in disbelief. "You have no fucking idea what I'm going through. God Kevin, you don't get it. None of you do."
"Yes, we do. I saw the way you looked at Jayme, I know you love her and I know your hurting because she's gone."
Nick snorted and turned his head away again, "you don't understand."
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love her." Kevin said.
Nick turned his head slowly to Kevin and closed his eyes as he felt tears fall against his cheeks.
"God Nick." Kevin gasped. "Are you okay?"
"I love her so much." Nick cried, giving in to the hug Kevin pulled him in for. He sobbed into Kevin's neck as his hands formed fists and pulled on Kevin's shirt. "I don't know if I can live without her." He sobbed gasping for breathe.
"It's okay Nick, everything is going to be okay." Kevin said soothingly. "You'll find her again, I know you will."
"I have to Kevin, I have to. Because I don't know what will happen if I don't."
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"Today on TRL we will announce the Billboard Awards nominees, and we will be joined by Jayme Caruso." Carson spoke into the microphone as another show of Total Request Live began.
Jayme stood backstage prepared for her third time on the show but wishing she were somewhere else. With Nick, she had been dreaming about him more and more each day. She dreamt about being on a beach with him, away from the world and fans and tour and videos............away from fame.
She had just found out that she was nominated for three billboard awards, Best Song for Last Kiss, Best Female Artist and Best New Artist. She was also scheduled to perform.
She sighed when she saw the producer motion for her to make her entrance. She did the same routine as she had done in the past, talking about her album, the Backstreet Boys and letting all her fans know she would be signing albums at the Virgin Records store.
"So Jayme I'm sure your aware you've been nominated for three Billboard awards." Carson said to Jayme.
"Yes, and I'm very excited. I can't wait. I'm also performing so that will be awesome."
"Oh really, what song are you performing?"
"Um, I'm not sure. Maybe a new song I've been working on."
"Well, we will definitely be looking forward to that."
Jayme smiled brightly as the show went to commercial before leaving the set and heading towards Virgin Records Store. When she arrived she was shocked to see as many people as she did, sure her album debuted at number one but she never expected so many people to actually come out and see her.
"Wow." She gasped. "There must be thousands of people here."
Erin stuck by her as they entered the store and lead her to the spot where she would sign autographs. Her eyes were as wide as they could get and she watched in awe as some fans cried and some were speechless.
"Hey." The first girl in line said cheerfully. Jayme smiled and shook her hand and signed the girls CD. "I've been here since five AM this morning. I'm your biggest fan."
Jayme smiled and almost cried at the sincerity of the girls words. "Thank you so much. That means a lot to me." She handed the CD back to the girl and smiled at the next girl in line.
"Hey." The girl spoke softly. She looked about fourteen or fifteen. "I'm such a big fan of yours. You are so pretty and lucky. Especially to be dating Nick Carter, I love him so much. Your the luckiest girl alive."
Jayme tried to keep the smile on her face but she knew her eyes expressed how hurt she felt at hearing Nick's name. "No, you have it all wrong." She told the girl. "I'm not Nick Carter's girlfriend, I never will be. We are just friends. That's all we'll ever be."
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Over the next two weeks both Nick and Jayme worked on their performances for the Billboard Awards, The Backstreet Boys had been nominated for Best Band, Best Album and Best Song for The Shape of My Heart. They too were performing. The guys had been working on a new album and would be performing a new song that Nick wrote, Jayme would also be performing a new song she had written.
Jayme walked into the arena completely hung over and looking around for some coffee, she was late. She knew that. She knew she'd hear about it too. She had been late a lot lately, coming in hung over and getting yelled at by people who didn't have time to deal with her being so irresponsible.
"Jayme?" Jayme winced when she heard someone say her name, did everyone have to yell?
"What?" She grumbled smiling when she found the coffee table and poured herself a cup, turning to see Lynn, a producer who was in charge of making sure all the performances went off as scheduled.
"Where have you been we have been waiting for you. We waited but eventually had to let the Backstreet Boys go ahead with their rehearsal." She sighed and took in Jayme's appearance. Her hair was piled on top of her head and her clothes didn't match, she was clearly hung over. She ran and hand through her own hair and said, "look we don't have time to argue about this, come on lets go."
"Wait!" Jayme said setting her coffee down and looking at Lynn. "The Backstreet Boys are here?" She asked her eyes filling with tears.
"They were, they just left, you just missed them."
"Oh."
"Come on we have work to do."
Jayme numbly followed Lynn and went on with rehearsal, Nick never leaving her mind. She had just missed him. Why was that always their luck? Why wasn't he there with her?
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