Chapter 22
"Today on TRL we will bring you the top ten as well as our special guest Backstreet Boys opening act, Jayme Caruso. We will talk to her about the release of her debut album which hits stores today." Carson Daly announced as Jayme set in the control room listening and watching Carson begin TRL.
She was a little nervous being on TRL again, it was the release of her album. She had waited for this for so long. She couldn't believe it was already here, for so long she had been stressed out with Jake and Nick, God Nick. How could she have mistaken him when he said he loved her? Of course he was talking about Lindsay. She didn't love him just as she knew he didn't love her. AJ wasn't right. He couldn't have been.
But she was more shocked at how little determination and work she showed her album, she woke up this morning and couldn't believe it was going to be released today, she had thought about it so little and had managed to occupy her mind with love, but music was her love. Always had been. It made her happy and she knew she should have just stuck to it, why go and worry about Jake or Nick, or anyone else.
She didn't love them, they didn't love her. She loved music, it was her ONLY love. That's how it had to be. She couldn't waste her time on anyone or anything else. Of course she would fly home tonight and see Jake, just to give him a taste of his own medicine. Then she would be back to finish the tour with the guys and to attend a party in celebration of her album release.
"I should have just stuck to music, just music." She said to herself.
Not soon after her thoughts were interrupted by a producer informing her of her cue for TRL.
"And for the second time on our little show here on MTV we have a girl who has filled our presence with the anthem for girls ever, her single "Last Kiss" is on it's way to number one and she's on her way to becoming the next teen queen, please welcome Jayme Caruso."
Jayme walked out greeting the fans along the way. She smiled brightly and hugged Carson affectionately. To the world she would appear happy, it didn't matter what she felt elsewhere.
"So Jayme. How have you been?" Carson asked.
"Really good actually."
"Great! That's good to hear. I know the Backstreet Boys tour has been good to you the past few months."
"Yeah it's amazing. Those guys know what their doing."
"Have you picked up any tips from their shows?"
"Yes, definitely. I can go on my own tour now, which will hopefully be soon, and I can put on one hell of a show."
"That's great to hear. So tell us about your album, and your single "Last Kiss."
"Well, the album is really close to me because it's my first album and it's really me. I've learned a lot and I love the quality of it. I am very proud and happy at the success of Last Kiss. It's amazing at how it blew up."
"Yeah it's been amazing on TRL, how does that make you feel to know that so many people love your music and what your doing."
"It's amazing. And I've been so busy and been trying to get used to touring and all this," She gestured towards all the fans around her. "I've really been overwhelmed."
"Yeah I can imagine. And already rumors are flying about your love life, that's gotta be weird."
"Carson you had to bring that up didn't you?"
"Hey, I get e-mails seriously, people wanna know what's up with you and Nick."
"Well, I have a boyfriend."
"Really?"
"Yes, I do."
"And would his name be Nick?"
"No. I am not, let me set this straight. I am NOT dating Nick Carter or any other Backstreet Boy."
"I'm sure the fans love hearing that."
"I'm sure their throwing a big party right now."
"Okay we need to go on a break right now. We will be back with more of Jayme and the rest of the top ten."
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Later that night Jayme sat on the plane that would land her in her home town, desperately trying to sleep. She had worked all day long promoting the album, she was so tired she didn't know if she could sleep. Was that possible?
She didn't know how so many people did it everyday. Worked so hard and kept going with so little sleep.
She was on her way to see Jake and she hated that. She didn't wanna see his face, after what he had done to her. But she had to see him.......
She was wearing a simple yet sexy orange dress and had her hair piled up in a lose bun on top of her head. She looked hot, she only wished that had been enough to make Jake love her and never hurt her. She knew that wasn't possible, Jake had broken her heart one too many times.
But she didn't need love. Noone did right? Right! All she needed was music.
A long three hours later Jayme finally arrived in her hometown and smooted her hair as best she could. The last thing she needed was to look like she had spent all night on a plane, even if she had. Tonight was different, tonight she had to look and be perfect. It would hit Jake harder if she looked absolutely stunning, she rolled her eyes and groaned when she thought about her conversation with Kayla, how could Jake do that to her. Wasn't he supposed to love her? And Nick? Nick loved Lindsay who loved him just as much and Jake loved only himself. But like she decided earlier......
All she needed was music.
Jake was at the airport waiting for her and she groaned under her breathe as she approached him and plastered a fake smile on her face as she kissed him lightly.
"Hey baby."
"Hey. How was the flight?"
"Good."
"Cool."
"We should get going, don't wanna be late for the dance."
"We can be a little late." Jack whispered into her ear as he kissed her neck and played with her hair.
It took all Jayme had not to push him off her and yell at him for everything he had ever done to her. But she simply pressed her hands to his chest pushing at him lightly and said, "we should really be going."
"Come on, it's been awhile. Don't you miss me?"
"Of course but we should go, save this for after the dance."
"Why? Don't you wanna be with me?"
"JAKE!!! Please lets go."
"Okay, okay. Gee, what's gotten into you?"
"Nothing I just wanna go to the dance."
"Fine. Let's go." They climbed into his car and began driving in the direction of the school, Jayme staring out the window the entire time.
When they arrived Jayme thought she may throw up, she had been so nervous. But she could do this, she HAD to do this. Just so Jake would know what it's like to be used, to feel like shit.
They walked into the hotel the dance would be held at and the lobby was full of teenagers Jayme recognized, they all turned to stare at her and began talking among themselves.
"Everyone is staring at you because your so beautiful." Jake whispered into her ear, his grin not leaving his face.
He loved this attention, he showed up to one of the biggest dances with a pop star. That had to have been the reason he had done all the things he had done. He hurt her so terribly bad and didn't even realize it, he suddenly realized that she was going to hurt him so terribly bad as well, and as much as she wanted to she couldn't do it. She'd seem like such a bitch. Almost as if fame had gone to her head.
Would she have done this before fame? No. Of course not, that would have made her an awful person, it still would. But then again things were great between her and Jake before fame.
Fame was ruining her life, how could she have let that happen? It made her lose everything she loved, and lose the courage to tell people she loved them.
"Jake I need to go to the ladies room." She whispered when they reached their table.
"Okay baby." He quickly kissed her cheek and then headed to a crowd of friends.
Jayme stepped into the restroom thankful to see noone in there, she looked into the mirror tears filling her eyes when she saw herself. How long had it been since she had smiled? How long since she had been kissed someone and felt butterflies? Never, she had never fallen in love and she never would if she kept pushing people away and causing people pain.
How could she even think of doing something like that to anyone? Even Jake.
"Hey." Someone said softly behind her.
She looked past herself in the mirror to see Kayla, "hey."
"How are you."
"Been better." She turned to face Kayla and her face softened. "How are YOU?"
"As well as can be expected." She smiled weakly.
"I'm so sorry."
"I'm the one that should be sorry."
"No, I was wrong too."
"Let's not fight about it, how are you and Jake?"
"Over."
"Really?"
"Yeah, he just doesn't know it yet."
"Oh."
"Don't get caught up with him again Kayla we don't need him, but we do need our friendship."
Kayla wiped furiously at tears that formed in her eyes, "you mean it?"
"Of course I do."
Kayla took a step and cautiously hugged Jayme, smiling when Jayme hugged her back tightly.
"I missed my best friend." Jayme cried into Kayla's shoulder.
"Me too."
"It's so lonely on the road."
"I can imagine."
"Well," Jayme started pulling away from Kayla, "I should go, I need to talk to Jake."
"Yeah, good luck. I'm gonna go too. I don't like being here."
"Okay. Call me. I'll see you soon."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Kayla walked to exit the bathroom before turning to Jayme, facing her back she said, "oh and Jayme, good luck with the album." And she left.
Jayme turned just in time to see Kayla's back. "Thanks." She whispered.
****************************
That night Jake had ignored Jayme as much as possible only paying attention to her when he asked her a question, he kept her close at all times but he didn't give her a chance to talk.
She finally freed herself with the excuse of needing a drink. She grabbed a cup of punch and stepped outside sighing happily when the cool breeze blew across her face. She desperately needed to break things off with Jake, she needed to move on.
And the only way she knew how to do that was to get back what she had before fame, minus Jake, she needed to be normal for awhile. Feel free.
She turned and looked through the glass doors to see Jake's back as he continued his conversation with his longtime friends. She quickly opened her purse and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, this wasn't exactly how she had pictured breaking up with Jake but it would have to do, afterall he wouldn't even pay attention to her at this point.
After writing how she felt and that she needed some time in only a paragraph she asked a friend of his to deliver it to Jake for her. And she left in a hurry hoping not to run into him, she needed to get back to New York for her album release party.
And she needed to patch things up with Nick.
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