Monday, 3 November 2003 - 8:29 PM GMT

A rabbit boiling away on the stove?
Sounds like she had a mentalist attack, good job you weren't there really...

I think you need to go and be a @#%$!, it'll do you the world of good and get things out of your system.

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 8:30 PM GMT

s|ut is the word, $lut I say.

Slu7 isn't even a swear word, it's a noun!

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 9:21 PM GMT

SIut

SIut sIut sIut..

See, Angelfire likes me!:)

Oh, and welcome back, links!

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 9:44 PM GMT

hell, woman, don't you have cats? although I've yet to see even my one-stone bruiser "cuddles" hoy a vase against a wall..

And I'm reading without wondering why or how or what, I'm just enjoying the stories you tell, without making leaping assumptions about you either.

(oh, bloody here have some bloody fanmail I sound as bad as those insane americans who keep emailing me and wanting to send me "electric candles")

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 9:44 PM GMT

You need to add THIS to that there linky thingum. ;)

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 9:45 PM GMT

Yes, you're paranoid. If I were you I think I'd run for the hills, though, just in case.

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 10:28 PM GMT

Bloody hell, that made me squeeze a few drops out, gorblimeyguvnornahmistake. Cue many a cockerney search string on Martin's blog, I think. :-D

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 10:34 PM GMT

Shine a light, five minutes later and I'm STILL @#%$! my knickers laughing at that. Somebody, please, make it stop. Slap me and tell me it isn't funny. Report me to your lawyers and make cockerney copyright.
Aw christ, if I put Vic's blog through that I'd die smiling and crying. I'm shaking at the thought.

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 10:39 PM GMT

Oh my god, I'm still laughing so much that I'm dribbling helplessly. I've gorn mad. Someone alert the bloody authorities. Argh.

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 10:42 PM GMT

Awwww, is your camera broken now? Is it fixable? I know how chuffed you were with your new camera :-(

Monday, 3 November 2003 - 11:00 PM GMT

It wasn't badly broken - the lens was smacked slightly to the side, and smacking it in the other direction luckily worked. I roadtested it today by taking a video of the traffic jam that made me ninety minutes late for work. (It was meant to be autumnal leaves falling and blowing, but.... well, it's Sarf East Lahnnun, it's not going to look good.)

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 12:30 AM GMT

Of course I have cats, I'm a dyke, it's in the contract. Check back to your parchment signed by the devil in your menstrual blood, paragraph 14.3.8. Mandatory.

Glad you're not making leaping assumptions. I'm getting enough of those from friends who read the blog, as they sift out their loyalties.

And fwiw, your blog is axcellent.

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 12:31 AM GMT

I think I did!

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 12:48 AM GMT

Well, I had a bad day on my blog and you seem to have had a bad day in real life. I guess you win.

From what you've said about your Despair Habit, apparently she's a very controlling person (I get that from your mentioning all the rules she had you chaffing under) and I gather she wasn't the most mature or openly communicative domestic partner ever, either. You mention a few times that she goes into 'pretend you don't exist' mode sometimes since the break up, which strikes me as childish and petulant. And you've mentioned she wanted to come back (and there's really no other way to read her behavior in continually coming back around to your flat and lying on your things where you'll have to see her in a suggestive pose when you come back out of the loo).

Now, apparently, when you choose not to be manipulated by her through the simple expedient of leaving (always effective and often quite wise), she grows angry and takes it out on your furnishings and your chattels, and leaves lovely little not very subtle violent messages out for you, as well.

This does not strike me as the behavior of a stable or wholesome or trustworthy individual.

Now, mind, I'm only getting an image of her through your self-censored eyes, but you obviously love the demented bitch desperately, and while that will certainly skew your perceptions, I doubt it would make you present her in an unjustifiably bad light.

So, I think she's nuts, and you'd do well to avoid her as much as you can.

Thank God you live in a country where people just can't get guns at all, eh?

I hope you're well and feeling okay. Actually, I hope you're happy, but I know you're not and not going to be for a while, so, well, feeling okay will have to do.

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 12:52 AM GMT

Hey. I'm glad to be a goodie, but how in the world am I weekly? I've been posting every day lately.

Not being critical... happy to be a goodie, really... just wondering at the frequency. Even when I hardly post I usually do at least three a week.

And my blog is not called "The Omega Darren" but hey, I like an obscure joke as well as anyone else. And I'm glad you liked the cartoon enough to memorialize it.

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 1:18 AM GMT

The headings of links always (you wouldn't know, you've only been here a few days while they were out of order) referred to how often I visit the blogs therein. Given that I work pretty long hours, that's how often I can guarantee that I'll visit, although I expect I'll visit more.

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 1:21 AM GMT

Thanks for the good wishes - appreciated. I know you mean well, but it's a weird experience to see the partial truths I wrote reiterated through someone else's perception. By its nature, this is a one-sided space. Many many things aren't blogged about, nor will they ever be; pretty similar to most public utterings, I guess. All I can say is that the person you describe, while it might be the person I described, it isn't her. But the avoiding outcome is the same. So, mmm.

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 1:40 AM GMT

Apparently this is okay, as I once smashed some stuff up back when we were living together.

Yep, things need to be removed from system all right.

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 11:59 AM GMT

Wow, Handsome pretty much said it all. Of course it's not the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but still, is it enough truth to make an informed decision? Can she be easily judged by her behavior? Coming home to find things damaged is VERY troubling, and even somewhat confusing. Is that supposed to convince you of her goodness? Is it supposed to make you think "Well, she destroyed my stuff, she must still want me." The evil girl I dated at work quests for my attention, tries to get me to touch her as often as possible, then screeches at me and tells me she hates me. But I think she's really, really mental.

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 7:41 PM GMT

I think she's very hurt, and very upset, and undoubtedly very homesick. She's lost her partner, her job and her home. I'm not sure in the same position I wouldn't have broken more, you see.

And the paranoia question was: am I imagining things? Did I do it?

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 10:03 PM GMT

Did YOU throw a vase of flowers against the wall so hard it smashed? Did YOU damage the lens to one of your favorite grown up toys? Did YOU leave the biggest knife you own out on the counter?

Did you do all of those things, and then forget about it entirely?

Or did, you know, your very upset ex-gf, who was just in the apartment unsupervised, respond to your leaving instead of paying her attention, in the above inappropriate ways?

I normally despise Occam's Razor. So many things it's simply presumptions to assign probabilities to; how can someone decide, after all, exactly what is likelier or more reasonable, in a universe we only dimly understand the mechanics of?

Still, in human interactions we can often assign probabilities better than this, although, at a distance, I myself cannot.

Are you this forgetful? Do you have a tendency to hurl your furnishing about or to be careless with your beloved and expensive chattels? Was there some reason you'd have been into the cutlery drawer and then forgotten about it? I don't know.

Behavior such as you describe, though, does seem a good fit for the person you've described, although, again, having been justifiably rebuked for trying to assess someone through incomplete data at a great distance, I can only suggest certain things and respond to your direct question with more questions.

I will say, it seems to me, if you did all that stuff and forgot about it, you're under quite a lot of stress, too. Your writing doesn't indicate that you respond to stress with forgetfulness; you seem to have rather a good recollection for detail.

So... are you imagining it? Did YOU do those things?

I can only say it doesn't seem likely to me, but I'm way over here.

Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 11:21 PM GMT

As ever, you have a point. The whole sitch is complicated by the fact that I know the ex-DH is a good person, underneath. Whereas one is never quite so sure about the state of one's own soul.

I know it sounds unlikely that I did it - but the place wasn't trashed. Have you ever been back to your place and wondered: did I move that? Did I leave it exactly like that, or over there? Did I just not notice that crack? Was I careless? Has somebody been in here? Did I break that last week - was I drunk? Did I just not clear it up?

It doesn't seem likely to me, either, but the almost - burglar like feeling that something indefinable has been adjusted is creepy.

Wednesday, 5 November 2003 - 12:25 AM GMT

See also Google Directory - Recreation > Humor > Computer > Internet > Web Filters; one can also use this to make corrections.

Wednesday, 5 November 2003 - 12:53 AM GMT

@#%$!! ;D I can spell. Normally.

Wednesday, 5 November 2003 - 11:39 AM GMT

I wonder what this blog will be like when you start doing self-disclosure :)

Wednesday, 5 November 2003 - 4:57 PM GMT

Dallas, I expect. :)

It may seem otherwise, and I'm aware of the Too Much Information blurts, but I really don't blog the important stuff. You'd have to actually be my friend to get that stuff. Speaking of which, are you coming to the pub on Thursday at all?

Friday, 7 November 2003 - 10:35 AM GMT

Well, the Champions League is at quite an interesting stage atm, so I was watching [generic football team] v [foreign generic football team]. Sounds like you survived the Most Boring Pub in London alright though :)

Friday, 7 November 2003 - 6:53 PM GMT

It's also the pub in which I used to celebrate passing any important deadline when I was at uni, in a drink till you're sick mode. It was characterless then, and it's not varied, but I suppose it has memories - I first met the ex-DH there in a game of pool (as another ex years later reminded me, i had no memory of it) and we took an instant deep dislike to each other at the time.
The company last night was excellent, however, I had a really good drunken ramble. Although I got flashbacks of finding Melons in the basement puking her heart out whenever I went to the bogs.

I wouldn't know anything about the Champions League. If you hadn't said footie, I would probably have assumed it was ice skating or something.