Things I wish I'd not said
(inspired by Looby's list of things he wished he *had* said, here are this month's things I wish I hadn't)
1.) (Being chatted up by gorgeous woman:)
GW: "I remember you, you have really long legs and you dance. Been dancing lately?"
Me: "Yes."
GW: "One syllable answers. Not good."
Me: "Oh."
2.) "The Chapman brothers might be as good as Goya one day. [...] Oh okay, alright, yes, you're right they're talentless and disgusting then. [...] Yeah, they're so over."
3.) "I liked Don Alfonso. I thought he had morals."
4.) (to a Trinidadian friend) "I've decided Trinidadian women are all high maintenance. Don't you agree?"
5.) (to people I don't really know, who had told me Alex Parks had won Fame Academy) "You fucking bastards."
6.) "okay, I'll take the cats."
7.) "I've been a c@#t all summer"
8.) "Your mate over there, has she got some sort of fucking problem? Miserable cow. [...] Oh, your Best Mate? Oh. No, no, she's lovely. Really."
9.) (on being asked if I'd done any dusting at all this summer) "Are you trying to feel fucking superior or something?"
10.) "When are you going to move out?"
11.) (talking to someone I manage about a senior manager) "FFS, stupid bitch. What's the difference? Premenstrual old hag."
(How do you spell m-i-s-j-u-d-g-e-d, again?)
Updated: Monday, 6 October 2003 8:46 PM BST
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