If you want me to:

Feed me:

roll around and giggle a lot

white wine

snog you

red wine (blackened furry teeth warning)

stay up till 7 am talking crap at you

chasers / shorts / aftershocks

follow you home or flash my knickers at inopportune intervals

guinness

start a fight

whiskey

shag you

champagne

jiggle my leg manically and end the night pogoing to glam?rock, badly

coke (both kinds)

crack bad jokes and pat you a lot

beer

lose the power of sight, then forget my tongue is sticking out

gin

speak coherently, or stop farting

coffee