Fight for Love

Oops, this was supposed to be before 34 days...

 I love you
And I want to stay with you
But you make it so hard for me
With everything you do

All these "Little Things" tear me apart
Each time they happen
I let them blow by
And hope things change with time

People ask what I see in you
And truefully, I'm not quite sure
Other than the fact that when I'm around you
I can smile with true happiness

From the day I met you
I knew there was something there
From teh day I  met you
I've never been happier

The first week I knew you
I couldn't stop smiling
People told me I seemed to glow
In a way I never have before

But now that glow fades
You are the one who made it shine
And you are the one who is making it fade
And only you can bring it back

Unlike with every other guy I have known
I look for a reason to stay with you
'Cause with every other guy
I looked for a reason to lose them

But it's not easy
When I can't talk to you
Let alone see you
Don't you know I need you?

Or when you backout
Of the promises you make to me
And I have no idea
If I am expected to spend any time with you

The only way I stay same
Is by thinking about how I feel around you
Knowing you're the only guy I felt worth this pain
And hoping it will all be worth it in the end

I know it will be
If you love me too

In the Past
I know you don't care anymore
I'm just part of the past
And something you probably won't repeat

Every word you said
Every thing we did
It means absolubtly nothing

All that you said would happen
All that you said we'd be
Every word was a lie

I'm sorry I believed we had something
I'm sorry I though you cared
Las of all,

I'm sorry ablout all the time I wasted on you

I can't believe
I can't believe all the tears I cried for you
I can't believe I'm still not over you
I can't believe how much I dream of you
I can't believe how much I think of you
I can't believe that I still need you
I can't believe the way I still love you

    And I can't believe you're gone

Sorry
I never asked you to fix my problems
I only asked you to be there for me
I expected you to be able to do taht
I thought that you loved me
I'm sorry for believing that

Thank You
Becaues of you
I learned to smile again
And to be truely happy

I learned once more what trust was
And that some people deserve it

I learned that I'm not alone
And people care about me

And I learned how to be myself
And to have fun

I have to thank you for that


But because of you
I learned that most people aren't worth my time
And to leave at the first sign of trouble

I learned once more to keep my trust guarded
And not to give it out freely

I learned most people are going to hurt me
And it's best to keep to myself

And I learned I'd reather give up on love
Than to go through this again

I have you to thank for that

When
She says I never had you
I know that's a lie
At some point,
Some time,
I had you

The question is
When did I lose you?

All I want
I want to talk to you
And I want to see you
But I don't think I can

I picture our first meeting again
We say hi
Then an awkward silence

I wouldn't know what to say
Or what to do
I'd stay silent

Because the only I would know
Is what I want

And what I want
Is to be with you

34 Days

I lie in the sun
Collapsed from the words you’ve said
I don’t hear any of it
But I know what you just told me
It’s over

I’m crushed by this truth
I wasn’t expecting this
Not now
Not like this
There was no warning

I look at you with pain in my eyes
As you tell me that you know how I feel
But the reality is
You don’t
And probably never will quite understand

What I feel is near unexplainable
Right now I want to scream, laugh and  cry
Run far away from you, hold you close and never let go
Tell you that I love you, and tell you how much I hate you
And lastly I want to smile for you and pretend nothing happened

You watch me
I’m about to explode
And you know it’s all your fault
But all you can say is
“I broke your heart, right?”

No, you did not break it,
You can’t break something that’s already broken
When I first knew you, you tarted to mend it,
Sew it,
And carefully patch it back together

What you’ve done is slowly and painfully rip out the all stitches, that you had carefully placed,
With the way you’ve treated me
Now, with my heart in your hand
You stab it with the same needle used to fix it
And then you carelessly drop it to the ground

My heart lies bleeding on the hot cement
held together by one fragile string of happiness
Threatening to snap at the end                
But I cling dearly to it
Because it’s the only reason I can still breath
    
As you begin to move forward
You smash what’s left of my heart
‘Cause you don’t bother to look where you step
As you leave me
To be alone again

Pretending to just realize what you’ve done
You turn back to see if it will live on
It beats slowly and sadly
Life blood draining from it
And it is damaged beyond any repair

You try to fix it
Using the little words you have left
But you know it’s useless
So you leave it in pieces
Hoping someone else will clean up your mess

But they won’t see it
I’ll put on a facade
And they won’t know my pain
‘Cause as long as I love you
It won’t subside


Because of you
I don’t want to love again
I had given love a chance with you
And this is what it gets me
I’d rather hide away       

If I do love once more
I want to be with you again
And show you everything you’ve showed me
The good
And the bad

Because I need you to know what you do to me,
What I go through for your
And I need you to know what I’d do for you
Which would be anything, everything,
And more

All because I love you

My Tears
I come to you crying
About all my troubles that have fallen upon me
Letting my head rest on your shoulders
Tears stream down my face
You wrap your arms arround me to comfort me
And tell me everything's going to be alright
I look at you
Tears still falling from my eyes
"No, it will never be alright"
I say and fall silent
But this is what I ment to say:
"No, it will never be alright,
But I don't care
As long as I'm with you
I know someone cares
And I can smile for awhile longer
As long as I'm in your arms
I can be happy again
As long as I know you love me
I can look forward to the day I don't shed these tears

Ok, so I was going through my notebook and found a lot of things I haven't posted. (well I have been writing but i haven't blogged in a while) so I'm putting them up. Most of these are from this past summer. Nothing is really recent.