i don't know where this scene will go, but it's in the movie...
Linus and Lenni are standing outside room 666 (coincidentally) and are playing with the phone.
Lenni: yes i'd like to order a dozen cherry flavored condoms, to be delivered to Utopia High School, 525 Midge Lane. Yes, my name is mr. Pappy... credit card number? Yes hold on.... (she whips out a stolen credit card and recites the numbers into the phone)
Linus: Shit! Lenni! Someone's coming!
Lenni: uh, uh.... I, uh... YOUR MOM RAPES CATS!
(she screams into the phone and slams it down. The 2 race around the corner and slam into Mrs. Bangarang, the principal.)
Mrs. B: What were you two doing?
Linus: your mom
Mrs. B: Pardon?
Linus: nothing....
Mrs. B: You know it's after school hours, you shouldn't be here! You are in a lot of trouble! I...
(before she con finish, Linus and Lenni ake off in the opposite direction)
Mrs. B: GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHITS!!!
(they burst into peals of laughter and split up down two hallways. Linus runs dwon the hall and into a random classroom, where a teacher he doesn't know is working. Teacher looks up)
Teacher: who are you? (angrily)
Linus: uhhh, The Moon! (he screams gleefully, curtsies and backs quickly out of the room.
(Meanwhile, Lenni is being chased by Mrs. B)
Mrs. B: Ger back here and don't be loud, the techers are working in this hallway!!
(Lenni lets out a deafening, blood curdling scream adn the teachers burst out of their rooms, angrily._
Random Teacher: WHo was that???
Linus: (catching up) It was Miss Scarlet in the billard room with the rope.
(The infuriated teachers and principal case after the kids at breakneck speed)
Lenni: Fuckdiddlyuckinay! They're getting closer!
(Piper, a magic door who looks like Pete) appears in the wall)
Piper: My name is Piper, and I'm a door. I've seen you running around before. SO please, come through don't shed a tear and you'll be far away from here!
Linus: What the fuck??
Lenni: They're coming!
Piper and Linus: EEEWW!! (simultaneously)
(Blank silence for a few seconds)
Linus: (with sudden realization) Ohhh! YOu mean-
Lenni: Yeahhh
Linus: Oh, okay.
Piper: Please come through me quickly now, or this is surely it. To turn up somewhere far away or you'll be in deep-
Linus: ALRIGHT, already, were going, we're going, shut up.
(They open the door quickly and tun through and it vanishes. They pop out in a storage room behind a store, and dazed they get up and make their way into the store. They see the words 'abercrombie and fitch' and flip!!)
Lenni: (gasp!!!!)
Linus: (choke) NO!
Lenni: He didn't!
Linus: He DID!
Lenni: Soo, we're...
Linus: In abercrombie
Lenni: and fitch, yeah, so, this is hell...
Linus: and I just happen to have some arrows, two bows, oily rags and lighter flid... oh and some kerosene and firecrackers. but we won't need those.(He empties stuff on the floor)
Lenni: OHHH! La la!
(They run out of the store which is erupting in flames and sprint to the exits as they hear shouts from inside)
Random Vacant Girl #1: NOOO!!!!! Not the sparkly miniskirts!
Random Vacant Girl #2: Not the ones on sale!
RVG#1: Yes! Now they are only $14000 without tax!
RG#2: Oh! THE HUMANITY!
(Linus and Lenni run out of the mall as Buffy slays a vampire in the background, they run into the parking lot)
Lenni: Whew!
Linus: Yeah, an... (suddenly realizes) fuck ME!
Lenni: What?
Linus: I left the fire crackers and kerosene in-
(The store explodes violently showinering the parking lot in debris and pandemonium ensues)
Linus: -the storeroom
Lenni:Oh well, it's not that bad.
Linus: Yeah, i know. I can get more.
Lenni: Hey, wanna ride in a stolen car?
Linus: You finished your hot wiring kit?
Lenni: Yes sir.
Linus: All right!
(They steal a blue VW Jetta and drive off with it)
Guy: Shit! That's my CAR!!
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