SICKNESS
Four days of down time…what a gift the General had rewarded SG1 with at the conclusion of the debriefing. Four days, 96 hours…the luxury of a hot shower and clean sheets in their own beds. Simple ornate pleasures to partake in…laundry, pizza, beer, reading, family… each member smiled as the days stretched before them.
Leaning forward in his chair, Jack O'Neill opened his mouth to request his team members' presence. "Fishin'… Carter, Teal'c?" The Colonel made a cursory glance in Daniel's direction, but did not extend the invitation. Sam glanced in Daniel's direction, but her younger teammate seemed oblivious to the Colonel's rudeness. But then you never really knew with Daniel; he was an expert at keeping his personal feelings buried.
Sam gave her commanding officer a lopsided smile. "Thanks for the invite, sir, but I think I am going to visit Mark and his family. It has been awhile."
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Daniel gathering his papers from the briefing…slower than usual. Was he giving the Colonel an opportunity to include him in the invitation?
"Teal'c…fishing?"
"I, like MajorCarter, am planning to visit family members. Perhaps DanielJackson would like to accompany you?"
At the mention of his name, Daniel lifted his head, a tentative smile already forming on his face.
The Colonel looked in Daniel's direction. "Daniel, fishing? Naw…Daniel doesn't do fishing, do you Daniel?"
Standing, with the last of his paperwork in his hands, Daniel nodded slowly. "Jack's right, I don't do fishing." He held up the paperwork in his hand. "I have tons of work to do." Shrugging his shoulders, he sighed. "No rest for the weary, I guess. Have a good four days off. Teal'c, tell everyone I said hi." Daniel turned his back and retreated from the briefing room.
"Goodbye, sir." It took all of Carter's self control to keep the sarcasm from entering her voice. "Hope the fish keep you company."
"I, too, must leave, O'Neill. I hope the fish provide what you are missing in your life." With a bow in the Colonel's direction, Teal'c accompanied Carter out of the room.
Jack buried his head in his hands. He knew he had hurt Daniel. He knew he was wrong…but their relationship had been deteriorating for quite some time. It was easier to be angry with Daniel than to get to the crux of the matter. Because the crux of the matter would mean that Colonel O'Neill would have to get in touch with his feelings.
The problem was that Daniel had stopped arguing back. After his return from Abydos he stopped arguing with Jack. Jack attempted verbal quips which turned to anger when Daniel didn't respond with anything but a smile. He just took the verbal whipping and lack of friendship in stride and kept coming back for more. Jack shook his head. Daniel was persistent…every mission, every trip through the Stargate, every weekend, every downtime, Daniel would try to regain what had been lost with Jack. Jack seemed to take perverse pleasure in smacking down the archeologist at every turn. But that was and had always been Daniel. The member of SG1 who 'takes a whipping but keeps on ticking'. That was supposed to refer to the System Lord's treatment of Daniel, not that of his commanding officer.
Jack pushed himself away from the briefing room table, making the decision to go fishing alone and then sort out the problems with Daniel. A quote from Cassie's long forgotten speech echoed through his mind, "Honesty is a virtue, but only if you are honest with yourself first." He needed to find that honesty within himself before he could ever regain his friendship with Daniel.
* * * * *
Daniel dropped his papers on his already overflowing desk and stood in the center of his office, wrapped in his own thoughts. He didn't even hear Sam enter until he felt her grasp his arm. Daniel pulled his arm away and rubbed it where Sam had touched it.
"Sorry, Daniel," she said, giving him a quizzical tilt to her head. "Didn't mean to startle you."
"'Kay…just lost in thought. Thinking what project to do first."
"Daniel, downtime means downtime. Leave the mountain. Go to a museum…go out to dinner…just leave here for awhile. Please."
He laughed as he met her pleading eyes. "I intend to. I am just gathering some translations to take back to the loft. Have a good time with Mark and the kids. I bet they can't wait to see their Aunt Sam."
Sam knew that in his own quiet way Daniel had dismissed her. She leaned over and gave his cheek a little peck. "Don't work too hard. When I come back, my treat for dinner."
Daniel hugged her. "You have a deal. Now, go."
He walked her to the door and smiled as she honored him with a little wave entering the elevator. Daniel wanted no more well-meaning interruptions, and closed the door to his lab. Daniel examined the arm that Sam had touched. He had felt actual physical pain with her contact. Shrugging his shoulders, he sat down on his couch replaying the day's mission.
* * * *
Jack had found fault with every movement he made, every word, or lack thereof, that Daniel had uttered during their mission to PX2005. The 48 hours that SG1 spent on that planet was a testament to Daniel's ability not to haul off and punch Jack. The tirade continued even up to the return trip through the Stargate. Daniel was dialing home and Jack had sidled up next to him, going on and on about something that Daniel had done or hadn't done. Daniel had stopped listening about five minutes earlier.
"Shit," Daniel cursed under his breath, as Jack's verbal diarrhea had made Daniel misdial.
"After all this time, Daniel…still can get distracted when dialing home. What if a hostile alien was shooting at you or your teammates? What if a Jaffa was…"
"Colonel!" Carter shouted.
"What, Carter?" Jack replied, thoroughly annoyed at being distracted from his arguing with Daniel. He began walking over to his 2IC. She met him halfway. "Enough, Colonel. Leave Daniel alone. He's pulled our butts out of the fire dialing home plenty of time. Why are you having such a problem dealing with him today?"
The whooshing of the Stargate interrupted Sam and prohibited the Colonel from offering a rebuttal as he gave the order to depart.
What no one saw, and what Daniel had completely forgotten until now, was what he encountered when resetting the DHD. After misdailing the coordinates for Earth, Daniel bent to reset the DHD. He pulled his hand back after hitting the reset switch, feeling a prick in the palm of his hand. Examining his hand, he noticed a minute scratch, in all likelihood caused by the same type of vines growing around the base of the DHD. He wiped his hands on his pants and proceeded to insert the glyphs for earth.
During their post mission examinations by Dr. Fraiser, Daniel never even mentioned it and, in actuality, had completely forgotten about the scratch until Sam had touched his arm. Daniel examined the palm of his hand, squinting in an attempt to even locate the injury. Miniscule as it was, the area around it was tender to the touch, and warmer than the remaining portion of his hand. He made the decision to have Dr. Fraiser check it out when the ringing of the phone pulled him back into the office.
"Yes, General. I understand, sir. I will be right there." His visit to Dr. Fraiser already pushed to the back of his mind, Daniel grabbed some books and his laptop before heading over to the briefing room. SG3 had returned with a tablet that needed immediate translation before a treaty with the inhabitants could be signed.
* * * *
Eight hours later, tablet translated, thousands of cups of coffee consumed, SG3 returning to sign the treaty…Daniel arrived exhausted to his loft. General Hammond, seeing how sleep deprived the archeologist appeared, had commandeered an airman to drive him home. Daniel politely and steadfastly refused, hating to rely on anyone when he was quite capable of carrying out the task on his own. Locking the door, he deposited his keys and papers onto the table, grabbed a bottled water from the refrigerator, fed the fish and proceeded to go the bathroom and get ready to fall into bed. Too spent to shower, he threw on a pair of sweats. Depositing the water bottle and his glasses on his night table, he lay down, falling asleep before even covering himself with the blanket.
Soothing dreams of Abydos graced his sleep that night. Remembrances of nights with countless stars overhead in front of a fire. But it was cold…even with Sha're's body heat, the nights on Abydos were desert nights. Cold…Sha're placed the blanket around his chilled body with gentle Abydonian words. He enveloped himself in it to ward off the bitter chill of the night. Sha're was with him, comforting him. Soothing him…applying a poultice to his aching arm. The cold of the night became of the extreme heat of the Abydos days. Sha're wiped the sweat off his forehead.
Within his dream, Sha're removed the blanket from his sweat drenched body. Always careful, forever tender as she gently repositioned him on the bed, she was ever mindful of his aching shoulder and arm. He begged her for water to quench his thirst, to wet his parched throat and lips. Sha're just looked at him sadly shaking her head as she faded into the place where dreams are made.
Daniel opened his eyes slowly…momentarily confused as to where he was. He was only aware of the wisps of the dream still in his subconscious, missing the closeness of Sha're. The feeling of being taken care of and loved by another human being encompassed him. His closed his eyes trying to recapture the feeling so missing from his everyday life.
Impossible. His need for water overrode every other emotion. Even knowing that he was in his bedroom, he was unaware of the movement of time. He needed a drink. Cognizant of the fact that he was ill, Daniel attempted to sit up. The movement brought Daniel a sense of vertigo so intense he was left breathless and nauseous. Heart hammering painfully in his chest, breath coming in panting gasps; Daniel slowly and carefully maneuvered his body to a prone position on the bed.
The need for water, in Daniel's mind, had now become a matter of survival. He moved himself to the night table, mindfully aware of the pain that now extended from his fingertips down his right side. His fingers on his left hand made contact with plastic and he carefully wrapped them around bringing the bottle into his line of vision. The bottle felt three quarters full and Daniel slowly brought it to his dry, cracked lips. He just wet his throat with the now warm water, relishing the feeling as it soothed his parched throat.
The irony of the situation was not lost on Daniel. He knew he was sick, very sick. Reaching for the cordless phone, he came up empty handed. Empty… only the base, no phone. Cursing himself, he pictured the phone lying on the kitchen counter, his cell phone was with his papers on the table. The journey across the apartment at this time was insurmountable and no one knew he was missing. Change that…he wasn't missing, he had four days downtime and no one was going to come looking for him. Sam and Teal'c were away and Jack… well, lately even when Daniel was in Jack's presence he still felt like he was missing.
Daniel's head began to pound, due to fever, dehydration, or fear, he wasn't certain. His heart joined in rhythmic sync to his head. Daniel moaned holding his head and the sound of his own voice reverberated within his skull. Daniel took another sip from the water bottle before placing it on the table and squinted to read the digital readout on the alarm clock. If the illuminated red numbers were to be believed, he had already been here over 24 hours. Seventy-two more to go, Daniel pondered, as he began to shake with the chills. Daniel closed his eyes, grimacing as he pulled the blanket up using his right arm. With a sigh he gave in to sleep with the hopes of encountering Sha're in his dreams to ward off the loneliness.
* * * * *
"Shit, shit, shit!" Jack pounded the wheel of his SUV in frustration. It was the third time in less than 48 hours he had attempted to leave on his fishing trip. The first time, he'd made it to the highway before turning around. The second time, he stopped for coffee at Dunkin' Donuts three blocks from home before returning. And this time, he couldn't even put the key in the ignition to start the car. His guilt would not permit him to leave. This indecision all boiled down to his friendship with Daniel, or lack thereof, and the realization he had arrived at yesterday.
Sharing a beer with the stars last evening atop his roof, Jack realized he was able to pinpoint the exact moment in time when the friendship changed. Well, actually his friendship with Daniel changed; Daniel never knew what hit him. That one segment in time that physically forced Jack to view Daniel in different light.
When a military Colonel gave the order to one recently OR'd civilian to basically put a gun to his friend's, commanding officer's, protector's, father-figure's head and fire. Pleading with Daniel to do what needed to be done. Begging, insisting Daniel blow up the sub that contained Jack, Teal'c and the replicators. The one time that Daniel did what was requested of him without major disagreement altered the friendship forever.
The young boy who had returned from Abydos, that the Colonel had taken under his wing and protected, the young boy who died countless times, the boy who Jack believed needed guidance, the boy whose bedside in the infirmary the Colonel would stand watch over countless times, the boy who he held in his arms after a horrible addiction, whose arms he sought after horrific offworld nightmares, the young boy who needed the big, bad Colonel to protect him and show him the way of life in the military… that young boy had become a man. In the blink of an eye, when Daniel's resolve hardened and he pushed the button, Jack knew without a shadow of a doubt that Daniel no longer needed him.
Jack knew that was wrong, Daniel had needed him as a friend, as a best friend, but the Colonel could not bring himself to view Daniel as an equal…as a geek, yes…an incompetent soldier, yes…a child, yes…as a naïve, peace loving philosopher, yes…but never on the level of friendship that Daniel desired.
Drawing his breath up short, Jack came to the realization that he needed Daniel to stay as the petulant, innocent, naïve, albeit genius, child. Because when Jack saw Daniel in that light, losing Charlie had become a slight bit easier to live with…Jack permitted his paternal instincts to overflow to Daniel. But Daniel, in that one instant of time, betrayed Jack, becoming a man who, Jack believed no longer needed his father figure, his guide, his protector; but he needed Jack to be his friend. The only problem, was Jack really had never been Daniel's friend in the truest sense of the word, so he wasn't too sure where to begin.
Jack could still remember the look on Daniel's face when he, Teal'c, and Carter had returned from fighting the replicators. The look of confusion when Jack brushed passed him still reflected vividly in his memory. Daniel had been left dazed and confused, never knowing that his following the order issued by his commanding officer would set off a chain of events that would lead to Jack's drastic change in attitude. The incidents just kept occurring one right after another…became like an avalanche, leaving Daniel covered and suffocating.
Jack adjusted the rooftop telescope and snorted loudly, deciding that he was going to dig Daniel out even if he had to use his bare hands.
* * * * *
Daniel wandered the deserted halls of the SGC. He was alone… he could hear by the way his footsteps echoed in the hallways, he could see it in the absence of personnel, and he could feel it in the lack of warmth and humanity in the underground passageways. Daniel pulled his jacket tighter around him, attempting to ward off the chill that seemed to permeate the deserted halls.
Every door he encountered was locked, every floor, devoid of human life. Daniel stood outside his office door his shaking hand rested on the knob. Locked. The ringing of the phone inside his office increased his frustration in trying to open the door. Banging on the door and yelling for someone to help him…pleading for assistance, he felt very much alone and inexplicably afraid.
Daniel curled into a fetal position, pulling the blanket around him. Chills shook his body as he to burrowed deeper under the blankets to conserve his body heat. The ringing of the phone in his apartment broke the silence, but the answering machine effectively shut it down after three rings.
* * * *
Jack was able to get into his SUV this time, start the car and proceed more than three blocks. He smiled as he passed the Dunkin Donuts. Maybe it had to do with his destination of Daniel's apartment…not fishing. Maybe it had to do with learning to be a good friend…Jack hoped so.
Feeling comfortable in his skin, comfortable with his decision and final destination, Jack stopped to get some Thai food and plum wine for the two men for dinner. He also stopped at Starbucks for coffee and Danish. In his mind, bribing an archeologist with coffee and food, then getting him slightly drunk and in a more forgiving mood was quite acceptable.
Jack hadn't done this for Daniel in a long time, just pop over to talk, and he felt a mixture of fear and elation. Daniel could do a number of things, punch him, throw him out, scream at him, slam the door… or he could be just Daniel, willing to talk and forgive past digressions. Thinking of the former and praying for the latter, Jack parked his car across from Daniel's loft. Night was fast approaching and the streetlights were just coming on.
Getting out of the car, Jack glanced up at the 8th floor, the lights to Daniel's apartment were off. Shrugging, Jack didn't particularly care if Daniel was home or not…he had called earlier, but the machine picked up. Jack patted his pocket, aware of the fact that he still had Daniel's key on his ring and would let himself into the apartment and set up the food. The coffee could also be reheated in the microwave and clearing the air after two years was worth the wait for Daniel to return from wherever he was.
* * * *
"Father," Sha're begged the man standing over her and Daniel. Her father bent down to stroke his good son's overheated forehead. Kasuf gently patted his daughter's cheek. "All will be well…he must learn to turn towards those around him." Tears ran down Sha're's face. "You will stay with him daughter, keep him safe until those close to him find him." She bowed her head as her father departed.
"Sha're", Daniel whispered through cracked lips. "Stay," he begged. "Please, lay with me, keep me warm. I need you with me."
Sha're looked down with tears in her eyes. Lifting the covers, she joined Daniel in bed, careful of the right side of his body that was causing him so much pain. Daniel relaxed as Sha're fit her body so close to his, sighing in contentment.
* * * *
Jack used the key to enter Daniel's apartment after receiving no response from knocking. Balancing the food and drinks awkwardly in his arms, he used his foot to close the door. Except for the light in the fish tank, Daniel's loft was dark and quiet. Believing Daniel to not be at home, Jack placed the food on the counter and turned on some lights, bathing the apartment in illumination. Jack opened the refrigerator to help himself to a beer. Find no beer in the refrigerator, Jack chided himself for believing that Daniel would have even bought any. Daniel hated beer and had only kept it around for Jack, and Jack had not kept himself around, so why would Daniel even buy beer?
Deciding instead to set the table, walking into the dining area, Jack's eyes fell on Daniel's paperwork and keys thrown haphazardly on the table. Unless Daniel went for a walk, which Jack doubted, the sight of the keys made his stomach muscles tighten. Jack the "please forgive me" friend became Colonel O'Neill at the sight of the keys. "Daniel?" Jack checked the terrace and with a lump in his throat, actually looked over the terrace railing to the ground below. Nothing. Closing the doors behind him, Jack quietly proceeded down the darkened hallway to Daniel's bedroom.
Jack entered the bedroom, discerning Daniel's dim shadow wrapped in blankets and numerous pillows from the backdrop of light reflecting through the window. In the briefest of moments, Jack got a whiff of desert air and the room seemed uncomfortably warm. The sensation passed before it had time to actually register. Smiling at the curled up form cocooned in blankets Jack realized it was going to be next to impossible to relate to this person like the man he was because Daniel looked all of 10 years old as he lay in bed mumbling softly.
"Danyel."
Daniel stiffened, knowing what Sha're was going to say before the words were out of her mouth. "No!" Daniel cried like a petulant child. "I need you to stay."
She placed her hand under his shirt caressing his overly warm skin. "I love you Danyel. Now is the time for others to help you. I will love you always. Remember that." She placed her face, wet with tears against Daniel's tee-shirt.
Jack moved closer to the bed, contemplating the ways in which he could wake a sleeping archeologist. He was taken back when Daniel uttered the words, "I love you."
Chuckling out loud, Jack found his perfect in. Bending down against protesting knees, he grabbed Daniel's blanket-wrapped right shoulder and shook it none-too gently…and whispered in his sexiest voice, "I love you too, big guy." Jack expected a smile, a groan, a 'f'ck you sleepin', Jack'. What he got, and didn't expect, was a Daniel who screamed in horrific pain and shot up to a sitting position in bed, grabbing his arm tightly to his body. Daniel's rude awakening had surprised Jack to the point were he lost his balance and fell on his ass by the side of the bed. "Shit, Daniel…what the hell is wrong with…" Jack replied, pushing up to a standing position.
Daniel turned his head in Jack's direction, working to bring blurry eyes into focus. "Jack? Where's Sha're?" he croaked.
Jack sat at the side of the bed, his heart breaking at the poignant question. "Daniel, …she's not here…anymore." Jack touched Daniel's forehead to confirm what he already suspected. 'High…but not enough to cause confusion'. He took Daniel's chin in his hand and gently rotated so Daniel would make eye contact.
"Daniel?"
"Jack?"
"Daniel." Jack replied, with an exasperated sigh.
"J'ck, too tir'd to play this game." Daniel yawned and his eyelids started to drift closed.
Jack knew that Daniel had been sleeping way too long. The sunken skin under fever bright eyes and cheeks and the cracked lips were all testaments to dehydration. Noticing a bottle of watter on the night table. He reached over Daniel to retrieve it, attempting to prohibit Daniel from returning to the prone position in the bed.
"Drink this, Daniel."
"No," Daniel answered emphatically.
"Daniel, you need… you have to drink this. This is your CO beggin' ya." He waved the bottle of water in front of Daniel.
Eyes drifting shut, Daniel whispered, "No, wanna sleep, Jack. Go home…or fishin'."
By then, Jack had started thinking this was too weird; his archeologist never wanted to sleep. Sleep, to Daniel, only occurred if your caffeine intake was on empty or you had been awake for over 72 hours. Daniel usually equated passing out from exhaustion on his office couch with sleeping. Jack realized that there was something besides the normal, everyday virus that Daniel was harboring.
"Take a drink, Daniel, and I promise I will go home, okay?" Jack chewed his lip in concentration. He just wanted to get some water into him and to also get the ability to handle the right arm that Daniel was favoring.
There was a momentary pause as Daniel contemplated what Jack had proposed. Then he blinked and looked at Jack, awareness dawning in his eyes. "Jack?"
"Daniel? Drink this." He shoved the bottle of water in front of Daniel, who took the warm bottle in his left hand, Jack noted, and Daniel started to gulp the water, a look of relief radiating from Daniel's face. Hating himself, but knowing it had to be done, Jack grabbed it out of Daniel's hands. "Stop, slower or you're gonna make yourself sick."
"Been there, doing that. Jack what the hell is going on and what the hell are you doing here?"
"Aahh. Good, back with me. About the going on…I don't know Daniel. Why don't you tell me? Wait…before you start, show me your arm." Daniel held out his left arm.
Annoyance echoed in his voice. "Not that one, Daniel, the other arm. Your right arm. The one you aren't moving. The one that, when I touched it, you did that girlie scream."
"Did not."
"Daniel, did too."
"Not."
"Did." And with that, Jack gently pulled Daniel's right arm to him for closer inspection.
Daniel stifled a scream, but Jack was aware that Daniel's eyes were closed and his face was distorted in a mask of pain. "I'll be easy, Daniel." Jack rotated the hand and forearm, but saw nothing, save a slight scratch in the palm.
"Daniel? What the hell is going on? There's nothing there that I can see."
Daniel extricated his hand from Jack and placed it gently on the blanket. "I know. See nothing. But it hurts like a sonofabitch. My whole right side." Eyes seeking the water bottle, Jack placed in on the blanket next to Daniel.
"Easy. I'm not cleaning up your vomit from the floor if you drink the water to fast."
"Great bedside manner, Jack," Daniel answered yawning. "Tired…don't know why. Think I slept for 24 or maybe…slept for a long time."
"You slept enough. Remember…hand…scream…story?"
Stifling another yawn. "Sorry. Think I did it on Px2005."
Confusion showed on Jack's face. "How? When, Daniel?"
Giving in to the yawn this time, Daniel answered, "Misdial. When I misdialed the DHD and then hit the reset switch, something stung me or bit me. Scratched me. Vines around the base of the DHD." Imploring Jack, "Please, I need to sleep."
"No Daniel, I think we need to see go see Doc Fraiser."
"No."
"Shit, Daniel, we just did this."
Daniel slid down and covered himself. "Go to hell, Jack."
Jack ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. "Calling the Doc, Daniel. I foresee big needles and plenty of IVs in your future."
"Shh, sleeping archeologist. Don't disturb." Daniel mumbled.
Jack got up and went into the kitchen, using his cell phone to make the call.
Dr. Fraiser answered on the first ring. "O'Neill here. Listen I gotta tell you, we have a little problem…"