First off honey.....no one said this shit was going to be fair....not nice but true.  So get past that part....

My first three years were like that....so people do survive....i was date raped by a guy in the program when I had less than 60 days...first time in my conscious recollection I had ever gone on a date with a "friend" to just go to dinner and a concert....so much for platonic...but that's beside the point...I survived it and God used it to help others so all is good.

Your sister's sobriety is the most important thing....for her hopefully.....regardless of whether or not she has a husband ..... regardless of whether or not she has her kids with her.....regardless of whether or not she does treatment....regardless......
No matter what we don't drink or use....I can say that with my history....nothing theoretical in that statement at all!!!!!
I lost my kids...almost permanantly (they tried to terminate parental rights) when I was 15 months sober.  I walked through it with the support of the program and God for a solid year of crap and heartache.....not fun but it  can be done. I now have good relationships (including ups and downs) with all three of my kids and their children.

Treatment wasn't available to me....so I used the Clubs and meetings... i practically lived there....it was safe and I needed it...lots of service pouring coffee while I manned the counter and made sandwiches.  Pinochle games and just having someone to talk to constantly made a big difference. One thing is certain....she has to do it....you can't.  Treat her as you would any other recovering drunk....as hard as that is....DO IT... Get your butt to alanon...or Coda....learn how to develope that wonderful "black belt" stuff those loved ones of ours use to keep themselves sane....Debbie's Coda List is a good place to start and I use it regularly...ingrained into the brain....The minute another person's life and happiness is more important than my own, and I didn't give birth to them, there is a problem. Don't know if this helps or Not...but I feel better....lol.

(Soberly Submitted as advice to a friend by Jo from Phoenix, AZ)

Please understand, I am always there for the newcomer and I do see and feel their pain if they have been out amongst them.  I am grateful for them to know that I do not have to do it.

And sometimes the newcomer is there for us.  A little over a year ago, I returned to Orange County after a 5 year absence.  One of the warmest welcomes that I received was from a guy known in that area as "The Budman." I've seen him keep coming back (it seems like at least 15 years) after periods of sobriety from a few days to several months.  I think I saw him take a 1 year chip once. Anyway, I was at The Friendship Club and he spotted me about 15 feet away. He starting smiling and approached me, gave me a big hug (he is BIG guy) and said. "Gee Ron, sure is good to see you back! You look great." 

Blew me away. After 5 years, he remembered my name!!  Heck, there were people that I had known for years -- and I couldn't remember their names!! That night, he again stood up as a newcomer, all bloody and bruised from another bicycle accident.  I ached with mixed emotions--glad he was there and saddened by the abuse and punishment that he continues upon himself.  I don't begin to understand why.  He has two beautful sisters that have been sober quite awhile  now and are very involved in service to AA and their communties.

In his own way, Paul has carried a message that enhances others appreciation for their own sobriety. In my first month of sobriety, I saw Father Martin give a talk.  I've never forgotten his words.  He said that he feels no alcoholic dies in vain.  That for every alcoholic that dies, somehow, some way, some where that they touched someone's life, and ultimately, was responsible for saving that persons life. I don't know -- maybe that type of alcoholic ranks right with police officers, firemen,
soldiers, etc. -- the people that put their lives on the edge to insure our peace and safety, giving us an opportunity to do our best at fulfilling rewarding lives. I have many friends for whom I owe much gratitude--that needed--but never accepted our way of life.  Their way -- taught me much.

(Soberly Submitted by Ron in Costa Rica)

It was recommended when I came into Alcoholics Anonymous that I make no major decisions or changes in my first months of recovery. Like a good alcoholic, I moved out of my home, changed jobs, and immediately began dating. I changed everything in my life but my shoe size. I did not, however, order the colored contacts.  I dove into working the 12 steps, became active in service work, and I embraced every opportunity to make new friends, including intimate relationships. I did not realize the extent to which I was vulnerable.

When I was drinking I consistently sought love and affection from the opposite sex and that behavior permeated into my sobriety. Alano clubs can be breeding ground for emotional entanglements. While sitting in an A.A. meeting with two men I was dating and a spouse I hadn't divorced, I became cognizant of my own shaky emotional condition (an 'oh shxt' experience). I was 'not right' with my own moral beliefs and engaged in self-destructive behavior against my better judgment and true desires.

The program of Alcoholics Anonymous gives me solid spiritual grounding that helps me see my shortcomings, gives me courage to make honest amends to those I harm, and trust that God will take care of the rest. Today I share with newcomers and sponsees the importance of not making any decisions with high emotional potential, prematurely. I have to stay sober, no matter what other people do, or fail to do.  My attitude and feelings change as I progress in recovery. I need to remember to take time to discover my actual feelings, before I act on those feelings.

(Soberly submitted by Jan S. from Richfield, MN)