GLOBAL WARMING FOR DUMMIES
Mood:
caffeinated
Topic: h2g2 -- 42 -- DNA, etc
GLOBAL WARMING FOR DUMMIES [Note 1]
(sound of person cracking their knuckles)
On this page:
The "Ice Age is Coming" Problem
The Kyoto Treaty
Bonus Track: On Genetic Diversity, the Gene Pool, and Ducks.
1. The "Ice Age is Coming" Problem.
Yes, yes, yes, i've heard a million time (ok, i'm
exagerating, i've only heard it 27,342 times). According
to geological and climatological evidence (that's scientif
evi, not some sort of new-age [2], religio-feeli, kinda stuff,
i mean they got core samples from the Candien North American
Shield, Tasmania, etc -- two of the OLDEST out-croppings of
rock in the world.
So, according (as i understand it, and it's really *not* my
area of expertise; but, i *do* read you know) to the theory
we should be entering a new ice age in the next 5 - 10 THOUSAND
years. But, then that's what i refer to as the MACRO CYCLE
....\ temperature falling over the next "n" thousand years
.....\
....()\
........\....(please ignore all of the DOTs, it's the only way
.........\....that i could get the graphic to come out.
..........\
.
------------------------- Time
That "()" thing represents the MICRO CYCLE. that is what we
humans (see map) have managed to do in the last 200 years
-- you know the INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION [5]. Thus, we have been
on a downward trend, but we are starting to have an effect
on the short-term energy balance of the earth, thus we have
a situation that looks like this:
....\ temperature falling over the next "n" thousand years
......\
.....()\.........../...Possible disruption of the climate
........U\____/....Next stop is VENUS! (ie, we DON'T change our behaviour)
............\
..............\...If we're lucky, we'll come to our senses and decrease
...............\..our green-house gas usage, and simply delay the ice age
-------------------------
Yes, geologically the ice age is come-ing, it's just that we
are delaying it (by a few years, we would hope). But, then
you have to remember that the climate (and indeed the entire
earth) is a complex system, and hence subject to the lawas of
chaos. [Long possible article here on "phase based systems",
non-linearity, etc. For the short-term, go back and watch
"Jurassic Park" and LISTEN to the words the Dr. Ian Malcomb
(Jeff Goldblum) sez].
As, such, we may affect the earth enough to disturb it from
the stable pattern into a radically changing pattern. (Technically
speaking this would be a problem in Catastrophe Theory [11],
but we'll just say "things could get nasty"). Think about
it like this: All of the earth's systems (biological,
climatological, atmospheric, etc) are the results of
millions of years of finding a happy medium, that is
reaching a dynamic and stable EQUILIBRIUM. And here we come
in the last 50 to 100 years of really just spewing out
technological changes without any thought as to the
consequences of it. For example,
The Dust Bowl Problem. These farmers keep churning up the
fields, so that they can plant a new crop, but this tends
to dry up the top layer of the soil creating what we
arm-chair scientists call DUST. And if this continues
long enough the soil can never get packed down, and then
the wind comes along and blows the top soil away. (And
it's the top soil that has all of those juicy nutrients
that our plant friends find so delish!).
Australlia, the Rabbit Problem, and Cane Toads. (Well
documented, use google, i'm tired; sorry :(
De-nude-ing of the forests of Palestine. Yep, that area
used to be this really lush area. But then (exact year?)
in the Ottoman Empire (pretty much where upper Turkey is
today) they come down and cut all of the trees up and make
building, ships, and stuff. Thus, everything from Armenia
to Israel, Palestine, and the lot are strip-ed of their
grown cover. Trees act like AIR CONDITIONERS, the sun
shines down on them, the trees pump water up from the
soil, and thus keep the GROUND itself cooler. Once the
trees are gone, you've got the *real* possibilities of
desert. These things can be reversed, but who will pay
the Altairian Dollars?
Then, when we add all of the toxins that we're just
pouring into the air (we need to AT LEAST go to
hybrid cars, ideally some sort of energy from space,
such as the micro-wave energy satellites -- later
essay, possibly).
This leads us to....
THE KYOTO TREATY
Briefly. Reactionaries (and other idiots, see [2]) say things
like "yes, but the kyoto treaty doesn't even list China and
India -- and they are the largest polluters in the world".
THAT is one of the worst "prevarications" in existence. It's
not actually a LIE, it's a (i think deliberate) distortion of
the treaty and it's intent.
The countries that ARE listed are listed in two annex's [yes,
i have actually read the treaty, although i skimmed thru some
of the middle bits] are the TOP COUNTRIES (ie, as opposed
to the so-called third-world countries). The list includes
the US, Canada, most of Western Europe, Australlia, Japan,
and a few other INDUSTRIALISED NATIONS. The point of the
annex is to list those countries that already have a lot
of use of greenhouse gasses and that THEY are obligated to
help the UN-LISTED COUNTRIES (eg, all of south america,
most of africa, and of course CHINA & INDIA -- sheesh,
half the time i think that these idiots are simply
bigots and trying to hide behind deliberate mis-interpreation
and prevarication of the facts, but then i'm not much
for conspiracies -- but, rather usually bet on STUPIDITY
which usually pays good odds).
Thus, the countries that ARE listed are expected to help the
countries that aren't listed.
Thus, my following conclusions:
The Kyoto Treat is good. It's not just good, it GolgaFrenchin'
GOOD. We should support it. Why don't we? Because the U.S.
is run by business (always pretty much has been). As such,
I don't hold out much hope (there's that word again) and
most people are STUPID (ie, idiots). And not until the average
daily high temperature in the winter reaches 40-celcius
(approx 105 F) will they wake up and smell the pavement
burning. And of course, they'll say "Well, someone should
have told us.
Well for the record: I'm Telling you. This is it. This IS
your last warning (prepares to hide under towel).
****************** BONUS TRACK ****************************
The example is from Hawaii [3]. There is a species of birds
(I'm not sure if they are ducks, i think that the are some
sort of crane or such). The popultion is about 300 (i'm
pretty sure it's less than 1_000). The scientist (saw a
show on this) sed that since there aren't enough of them
left, that even though the population has been stablised
-- ie, they're no longer being hunted and killed, their
little life area they live in (on the planet Earth -- see map)
is stable, etc. That there simply aren't enough of them
to survive. They will be interbreeding (even with the
best control), and as with all such things, they will
simply get weaker and weaker; ie, the opposite of
the "survival of the fittest". And begin die-ing out.
GONE. As George Burns (playing the part of God) in
"Oh, God" sez, "You think only God can make a tree?
Try making a mackerel. I'm tired of you treating
rivers like toilets!".
Well, then that's it for this time. Hope this has been
informative, innovative, and at least somewhat eruditious
(if not a bit seditious -- lobotomies for republicans,
not just a good idea, it's the law. Oh, wait in order
to have a lobotomy, you have to have a brain in the
first place (slightly crude joke). But, then you
DO have to wonder why or how they just don't get it,
now don't you?
(where-upon the learned philosopher stepped off of
his soap box and was JUST ABOUT to fall face first
into a quite recently deposited load of horse hockey
when Iain sed, "Oi! Drongo! Watch your step! --
where-upon they went off to the pub to discuss
quantum mechanics, or at least ducks, art films,
and of course towels)
--42,
Night all,
Richard The Ducker
(and of course wibble)
NOTES
[1] Not that i'm implying that someone or not is or is not
a dummy, it's just a "thing". Hmm, I wonder if there's a book
called "Dummies for Dummies"? Actually the "Art for Dummies"
is *quite* good, written by the curator of one of the NY
museums (James something) -- odd name, something. Bug, alas,
i digress. Well at least it's in a note.
[2] Actually to be completely fair, the "new age" people aren't
the problem (i'm some-what a hybrid new-ager myself).
For the most part they vibe to the sacredness of
Mother Earth and all her wondrous children (yes, even those
icky Red Algae [7]). So, as such, they (the new agers) are
NOT the problem in trying to get the whole global warming
problem fixed. For that (THE problem we have to go to the
usual suspects:
a) Idiots. These are people who believe what-ever they see
on CNN (Conspiracy News Network). They *really* do think
that if you go swimming right after eating, that you will
get a cramp and drown, and of course don't believe in
evolution -- despite the fact that their own reactionary
thinking (dare it call it that?) is actually proof of
de-evolution.
b) Business idiots. These are people who don't really give
a rat's ass [6] (as the phrase goes) about anything or
anyone -- EXCEPT for MONEY, STOCKS, and stuff. Pretty
disgustikating un-humans, if you ask me.
c) Idiots who are just ignernt. But, there's always hope
that they might actually start learning stuff, and they
can change. After all, there's *always* hope. (i hope).
[3] See map. [4]
[4] Fred Babb (one of Dallas' finest artist/cartoonists)
makes a series of ART T-shirts (i made a dyptic [9] based
on two of his works: "Art is what kids do to survive in
an Authoritarian world", "Life is the Physician, Art is the
prescription" (not real sure about that last quote). Anyway
he has one with an american flag and the following text.
Dear Mr. President,
We artists are tired of being ignored. We want our
own state. We want Hawaii. Also, when military
personal see us, they have to salute us.
[5] A classic example of Darwin's concept of "natural
selection" is given by these two kinds of moths (again
i'm no expert on animals). So, one is black and one is
white. And as the industrial revolution smoke-ily makes
its way through the 19th century, the trees become
black with soot and the black moths are more easily
hidden from birds (what with their blending in colour-wise
and all). So, their population increases, while the white
moths are easily spotted by birds (I think it was some
kind of King Ficher, by the name of Esme or else not)
and they make a wonderful snack. As the anti-polution
laws become more inforced (don't get me starte on all
of the back-slide-ing we've been doing here in the U.S. [10].
Then the trees are getting less soot on them and the
birds are picking off the darker moths more easily.
Of course, in order to completely eliminate the black
moths, they would have had to eat pretty much allof them.
[6] I don't know anything about rats, since they are animals
(actually RODENTIA -- which means that they have to keep
gnawing at things or else their teeth would keep growing
longer and supposedly cut back into themself and kill
them -- sounds fanciful. I'd say it's an urban legend, but
then (like i sed) i don't know), and my fav things are
plants (well, excepting of course pengies, ducks, and of
course geckos and lizards in general. And lady bugs too.
[7] Red Algae are of course members of the "Plant Kingdom".
But, based on our new genetic info stuff (DNA and all of
that; tips towel to the other DNA that we all know and love).
Anyway, Red Algae are really cool, they are sort like a
colony (not to be confused with Volvox [8]) and they are
called PROTISTA (simple plant life forms, but a couple of
steps above is it an animal or is it a plant), and they
are RHODOPHYTA (the "phyta" indicates that they use various
types of chlorophyl (there's A, B, C and then a whole bunch
of other thingies chemically bio-chemic). Alas, i loves
dem little red algaes so much. (Natch my fav is volvox,
which is CHLOROPHYTA -- green chlorphyll). (see note 8, which
i think is next)
[8] Volvox is this really neat colony of plant cell individuals
that work together to make a sphere and they roll about --
usually found in ponds, and such (see also DUCKS, ANTIDIAE,
and JUPITER SPACE, 2001, and of course WIBBLES). More on
them later.
[9] Dyptic (diptyc) means two-things. Originally it was two
side-by-side decorated doors or windows, but now it means
two art thingies placed side by side (or one above the
other) but to be "seen" as a single art work. Similarly,
Tryptic (Triptyc) -- i entertain ALL speelings -- means 3-thingie.
[10] Actually, i heard that Oregan (it's one of the BLUE
states up there in the North West of the US (see map)) is
planning to start enforcing the Kyoto Treaty and stuff
like it at the STATE LEVEL. But, don't worry i'm sure
that one of Bush's fine appointments will rush out there
and stop this absurd attempt to "THINK GLOBAL, ACT LOCAL"
-- we will NOT have any of that thinkging stuff going
around on THIS planet (see map).
[11] Oddly enough, catastrophe theory (i forget the French
Maths chap that discovered it and worked on it. Somehting
like DeDeuve or Phil something, too tired to google). Anyway,
despite it's name the theory is a mathematical way of
dealing with systems that re-act radically over a short
period of time (chaos is more a long-term kind of thing).
Catastrophe theory has been applied to a *lot* of problems. The
best example, is the "getting out of bed" problem. If
"getting out of bed was a CONTINUOUS (smoothly operating,
with not jittery actions), we would slowly get out of
bed, as if we were being tilted out on a see-saw. In
reality, you are in bed, and then at some point (without
really much conscious thought) you are OUT OF BED. Thus,
you "change states" (from IN BED to OUT OF BED) in a
chaotic manner. In the same way, weather patterns tend to
be catastrophic that is "quick-changing", often a single event
will trigger the start of rain, or a hurricane. (It's all
pretty much jumbled up together: Chaos & Catastrophe.
This article is dedicated (in loving memory) Douglas Noel Adams
whom i first encountered so many years ago on the local PBS
(Public Broadcasting Station), KERA. (KERA was THE pbs
station that brought Monty Python to America -- tips towel
towards the south-south-west (Harry Hiness Blvd) where
the KERA station is).
Political cartoon (showing two kids, and an elephant dressed
up as Barney. On the Elephant's chest written: "Republicans to
Take control of PBS").
one kid to the other: I don't know, there's something different
about Barney.
Barney (singing) I love you, you love me. Let's all join the GOP.
(GOP "Grand Old Party" jargon for the Republican Party -- see map)
"If you spent half as much time on thinking, as you do on
your hair, your brain would be a thousand times better off
for it." Malcom X (not an exact quote)
--42--
_________________
When any idea is banned, then no one is safe.
smelly
energetic
down
incredulous
don't ask
sharp