*One of the ladies in our new Bible study class just gave her life to Christ 2 weeks ago during a church service. She was out of town last weekend, so this was her first Sunday at our church as a believer. She is someone, like a lot of people these days, who is not familiar with church language or how things are done. It is so refreshing to here her talk, using the language that WE need to learn and understand as 'church people'. She is excited about studying the Bible and is full of the newness of it all. It gives me hope that we can still be effective tools for God to use to reach people who are unchurched, even in this very unique time in history.
*I'm very squozen! The hugs and friendly, encouraging words were flowing freely today.
*My mom, who is a new widow (of less than a month), has been coming to a Sunday morning Bible study class...this was her second week. She is also interested in coming to a new Beth Moore Bible study we're beginning in a couple of weeks. I'm so relieved to see her getting involved...it shows hope and that she is looking forward.
*I watched 2 of our youth give prayer requests for their generation. First was Jessica, who asked us to pray that the bondage of drugs in this generation would be broken and that teens would grow to despise drug use. Secondly, Tim asked us to pray that the Christian teens in high schools these days would not be distracted (with things of life....clubs, activities, busyness) from their duty to be an example and witness for Christ. We had a special call to prayer for this generation and are doing so each Sunday this month. (maybe longer, I'm not sure) It was tear jerking and sweet to see youth crumple to the floor near the front of the church in prayer for their generation.
*I took a 2 hour Sunday afternoon nap! (which explains my blog writing at 10:30pm) It was nice to be able to relax so completely in the middle of the day and not have to set an alarm! I awoke to the smell of brownies baking, so I didn't even mind getting up!
*The weather here lately has been especially wonderful in the mornings, which adds a little bounce to your step and sparkle to your attitude.
Philippians 3:12-14 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Each Sunday is a reminder to me of the great crowd of fellow participants I am a part of in this race....and of how great the prize will be as we press on together. The encouragement along the way with wonderful days like this is just a little incentive compared to the greatness of the final prize.
Storms in the sky and in my head Topic: People/Family stories
Today was one of those days that make you feel happy to be home with your laptop in your jammies. Let's call this post...just the facts please. You can fill in the 'blah blah blah' and 'yadda yadda yadda' that usually happens amidst the facts.
I got up at 7:30am showered dunked some gingersnaps in my coffee for breakfast Picked up my mom at 8:30am ran her to the beauty parlor ran home to make lesson plan list (one that would be deciferable for my mom) she ran Maggie-school today! picked up mom at 10am brought her to my house to watch Maggie while I ran around *like a crazy person* Left to have my car's oil changed asked them to check on what was leaking under the car *tried to block out the Jerry Springer show blaring on the tv* turned off the tv when the waiting room cleared out Looked out the window a dozen times at the car progress tapped my pen on calendar that was way too full oil changing guy told me the oil pan gasket needed replacing there are several other leaks in the undercarriage.... "major repairs" he said *felt stomach clench* Drove into downtown to the hospital to have 2 pre-op tests done hysterectomy in less than 3 weeks *eeeeeek* waited one hour for first test...2 minute chest Xray Those gingersnaps were not lasting waited one hour for second test....5 minute EKG....*need food* Got my car out of the parking garage *9 minutes before the fee went from free to $3* Noticed lack of edible materials in my car Looked for fast food found Sonic got popcorn chicken and a strawberry limeade *aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh* saw 2 homeless people come by for cups of ice at Sonic they were granted free cups of ice.... it was so nice ate with the window down, no a/c noticed it was a very nice day outside watched pigeons walk on tables outside Sonic vowed never to eat at an outside table at a fast food place drove home in record time visited with mom while I made dinner monitored homework, chores and attitudes as older kids got home served a yummy pork chop dinner left in a flurry for husband's church league softball game sat on bleachers yelling *woooo* and became skito-chow watched thunderstorm moving in, lightening is amazing got drenched while huddling under overhang of snack bar *with 27 other people* game was called off Our team won! this was a first for our team =) no sooner did the ref leave than the rain stopped went back to our cars in the stillness after the storm looked at used cars online with husband (remember leaky van?) *stressssssssss* ....we can't do another car payment....arg decided to think/pray on this a few days and now I'm sitting on my couch, no shoes, laptop upon my lap I need a little Word to calm my stress-out heart and refocus my whirling mind
Psalm 119: 165 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.
the storm is calming down inside peace is on the horizon but my head is still hurting even after the storm is spent
Strength for today....bright hope for tomorrow Topic: People/Family stories
I was struggling to write a post in remembrance of 9/11/01. Everyone had written beautiful pieces and I felt like I had nothing more to add. I would just let this day pass with no post on this page. Then this morning, as I did devotions with Maggie before school, we came to our prayer time. We always stop to think about things we should pray for.
I asked her if she knew what 9/11 was about. No....she had only been 4 years old when it happened. So I tried to explain it to her. I didn't know that by the end of my explanation, I would be sobbing, especially while telling her of the flight over Pennsylvania. The people on that plane knowingly sacrificed their lives to divert another attack.
How do you tell a 9 year old child about the events of that day in 2001 when America became vulnerable and weak. A handful of people murdered so many people in 3 different states with such malice....and it was personal to each one of us. We didn't know what to do or what would happen. We just stayed glued to our televisions, trying to stay informed, trying to gain some reassurance that we were safe.
And we prayed.....everyone prayed. On television they prayed, in schools they prayed, people wandered into churches wanting to pray.
It was eye opening to me that I still had such strong emotions deep down inside. My general outlook on life is to move on. I want to learn, grow and then think about the positive after something bad happens. I think a lot of my processing of 9/11 was stunted because we had a tragedy in our lives and church 2 days after 9/11, when our friends' son killed himself. The fragile, vulnerable feelings had consumed him and when one last straw was put on his back, he cracked and very impulsively ended his life. He didn't know that life would go on and be good again. He didn't see hope.
It's what makes us carry on in times like these.....we hope...we can see past our present suffering to a brighter future. When we despair, if we just wait it out, we gain our hope once again.
"This too shall pass."
In Isaiah 32, we read:
14 The fortress will be abandoned, the noisy city deserted; citadel and watchtower will become a wasteland forever, the delight of donkeys, a pasture for flocks,
15 till the Spirit is poured upon us from on high, and the desert becomes a fertile field, and the fertile field seems like a forest.
16 Justice will dwell in the desert and righteousness live in the fertile field.
17 The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.
18 My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.
There IS a hope. God promises us hope throughout the Bible. One day we will be without sin and madness.
quietness and confidence peaceful dwelling place secure homes undisturbed places of rest
These words were meant for such a time as we now live..... to bring us hope.
Concentrate on these things today if you are feeling the remembrance of evil too strongly. And remind your children that there is hope. Help them to have hope....
Oatmeal Muffins Topic: Crickl's Recipes
Someone shared this recipe for oatmeal muffins on a forum I go to. All the ladies there were raving about it and telling what changes they made to it to make it more healthy. So I had to try it and it's good!
Using old fashioned oats adds the best health benefit. Soaking them in buttermilk cuts down on digestive problems and adds good enzymes to your tummy! Next time I'll try making it with canola oil instead of butter (or maybe use half applesauce and half the oil) and use 1/2 whole wheat flour and 1/2 white. I also added a smidge of vanilla and some cinnamon to mine because I didn't have any fruit that sounded good to put in.
OATMEAL MUFFINS
1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats 1 cup buttermilk 1 large egg, beaten lightly 1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar 1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, melted and cooled 1 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 cup dried currants (or use shredded apple, peach, dried cranberries or mashed bananas)
In a large bowl, combine oats and buttermilk and let stand 1 hour.
Preheat oven to 400?F. and butter twelve 1/2-cup muffin tins. Add egg, sugar and butter to oat mixture, stirring until just combined.
Into another large bowl, sift together flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda and add to oat mixture, stirring until just combined. Fold in currants.
Divide batter evenly among prepared muffin tins. Bake muffins in middle of oven until golden and a tester comes out clean, about 20 minutes.
Choose life...the way that is true Topic: People/Family stories
And so, have I mentioned lately how cool my kids are????
Hannah is becoming an international Christian activist and someday missionary....long or short term is yet to be determined. She is in college 2 hours away and growing up so beautifully...she amazes us.
Bethany and Emma seem to be flourishing in public high school...thank you, Lord. They've both made friends and are inviting people to youth group. I can see so clearly how God is laying out their lives before them and they are choosing to follow. Bethany is singing her heart out on the worship team at church and discovering it's hard to live up to your own values, but it's worth it. Emma gave a powerful testimony at church a few weeks ago on how God is working in her life, giving her a love of missions.
Maggie is growing up into a sweet 9 year old and learning to make good choices in her 9 year old way.
I am just sitting back, watching it all in amazement. God is good and His promises are real....I've seen it unfolding with my owns eyes.
From Deuteronomy 30:
11-16 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.
See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.
19-20 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life.
"Engaging people who are doing the hard work of laying their lives open to others, and avoiding isolation, has allowed me to see that there is both immeasurable evil and unfathomable good mixing under my own skin and it is grace, mercy and freedom that allow me to not simply be a monster, but to be a good monster.? Dan H., Jars of Clay
Sky gazing Topic: People/Family stories
In our house, we are all in various stages of grief and thinking a lot about deep things lately. It has come out in a daughter's blog and today my husband wrote a really cool post about Heaven. Reading his post made me think of a song I had in the back of my mind, knowing my dad was near death. I was going to put the song to a slide show, but the funeral home did a slide show as part of their package deal, so I didn't have to. (By the way, if you'd like to see the slide show, it is on the internet at a memorial sight and I will be very happy to give you instructions if you email me or leave a comment along with your email address. I just don't want the information 'out there' for all to access.) It's a beautiful song.
Untitled Hymn (Come To Jesus) Chris Rice
Weak and wounded sinner Lost and left to die O, raise your head, for love is passing by Come to Jesus Come to Jesus Come to Jesus and live!
Now your burden's lifted And carried far away And precious blood has washed away the stain, so Sing to Jesus Sing to Jesus Sing to Jesus and live!
And like a newborn baby Don't be afraid to crawl And remember when you walk Sometimes we fall...so Fall on Jesus Fall on Jesus Fall on Jesus and live!
Sometimes the way is lonely And steep and filled with pain So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then Cry to Jesus Cry to Jesus Cry to Jesus and live!
O, and when the love spills over And music fills the night And when you can't contain your joy inside, then Dance for Jesus Dance for Jesus Dance for Jesus and live!
And with your final heartbeat Kiss the world goodbye Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and Fly to Jesus Fly to Jesus Fly to Jesus and live!
I really don't know life...at all... Topic: People/Family stories
The clouds were on the horizon again today...teasing and taunting, as they do in August in Phoenix. Huge billowy thunderclouds in the not so far away distance, hanging there on the edge of the city. It makes you long for a thunderstorm to wash away the city's stale summer air and refresh the trees and grass. It doesn't come, but I can still wish...and I know one of these days, they clouds will spread over the city and a time of refreshing will come.
A friend of mine called today to see how I was doing a week after my dad's funeral. At first I answered, "Oh I'm fine.....y'know".....then I admitted I've been remembering things from my dad's final days, replaying them in my mind, mulling them over, not able to drive them out. And the tears come easily these days, not over my dad's passing, but it could be anything. It's weird to cry over news headlines or tv commercials, but it's the way my brain is dealing...it's the way the grief is working it's way out. Something to be endured, I say....I don't like it and I've felt exhausted every minute this past week! My friend said it was the same way with her when her dad passed away. (suddenly remembering, 'oh yes, other people have gone through this too....she really understands.') She said she would even have times of running to the bathroom to suddenly be sick to her stomach for no apparent reason. Grief is a tricky thing and I admit I'm not understanding it....yet there it is, following me around. My normal life is hanging there on the fringes like those billowy clouds, taunting me....I know it's there, or at least will be again some day, but for now it's just teasing me and I wait for it to come back.
All of these thoughts kind of came together as I looked at some old bookmarked websights. Tonight I clicked on The Cloud Appreciation Society website. And then I remembered writing an entry before about clouds and saw the song by Joni Mitchell. I read through the lyrics very slowly. I think I'm in the third verse of that song now....
Tears and fears and feeling proud To say I love you right out loud Dreams and schemes and circus crowds I’ve looked at life that way
But now old friends are acting strange They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed Well something’s lost, but something’s gained In living ev’ry day
I’ve looked at life from both sides now From win and lose and still somehow It’s life’s illusions I recall I really don’t know life at all....
A time to mourn, a time to laugh Topic: Humor/memes
Upon finding out how to import my old bookmarks, that I left behind in April in order to usurp this newer computer, I rediscovered some blogs that I haven't visited in months! (OK, this is funny because I lost this entry in a browser crash a few minutes ago and just condensed what took me 3 paragraphs to say into one sentence!! ha!) So, I laughed and laughed throughout this post on Paper Sack Lifetime, a blog by a weirdly funny, sometimes disturbing comedic writer named Kyle. I needed to share it with you...
I decided we needed some comic relief in this run of increasingly sad, albeit meaningful, entries. *whew* And since my brain is mush lately, I'll let Paper Sack guy do the comedy
I'm sure there will be more sad entries soon, just in case you wanted more. ;)
New Arrival at the Pearly Gates.... Topic: People/Family stories
I will write more later, but I wanted everyone to know.
My dad passed away last night, Monday, August 21 around 11:20pm. All his kids except for his son in Baltimore (too far with little notice) were there at his side keeping vigil, along with my mom and neice.
He is with the Lord now and able to hike around Heaven and think straight again.
We are so.....SO happy for him. And I'm so thankful that God took him quickly.
Nearing the end of a life well lived Topic: People/Family stories
We were called to a meeting with a nurse at my dad’s nursing care facility on Wednesday morning. He is failing so much lately….he has lost close to 40 pounds, has no appetite and won’t even drink many liquids. We had thought it was due to a bladder infection, but he is over that and off the meds for it….and still he declines. So the nurse wanted to talk to us about putting him on hospice care. Hospice….the getting ready to cross the Jordan organization. It will give him a lot of benefits though. There will be 5 people seeing him several times a week, keeping an eye on him, comforting him, watching for signs and giving reports to the family, as well as counsel for the family and rides for my mom if she needs it. It is a wonderful program….it was just hard to hear that it had already come to this.
A friend at church who used to work at a dementia floor at a nursing home said that dementia has stages. One of the stages is that babbling, obsessive, paranoid, suspicious stage where they seem driven about things. She said then you'll see a change and they go into this peaceful, quiet stage. It seems like Dad has entered that stage lately.
My sweet dad. The nurses settle him into a recliner each morning by the nurses’ station so they can keep a close eye on him. He sits there with his eyes closed, drifting in and out of sleep, existing. We talked to him. He was awake, but his eyes stay closed as if it’s too much for him to open them. His normal babbling talk was silenced and he nodded or shook his head ever so slightly when I asked him yes or no questions. He seemed more like himself than I have seen him in months and months. I rubbed his arm and asked if he was awake. He made a little sound, keeping his eyes closed. He knew who we were….I think he usually does. I bent down to kiss his forehead and he did a silly little exaggerated, childish kissing imitation with his mouth. That was always his way of reacting when we got sentimental…he got a little silly. So it was good to see him react more like himself.
This friend of mine at church named Jackie, encouraged me to ask him what he is thinking about. She said that often when a person is closer to death, they begin thinking of Heaven, even having little visions sometimes. It reminded me of a day before he went into the nursing facility. He was talking about ‘home’. That he wanted to go home or that he was thinking of home. They had moved a few years back, after living in one house for almost 40 years. When his dementia was bad, he didn’t recognize this new house (of 8 years) that they currently lived in. So I asked him which home, the one we grew up in, in Glendale? “No…HOME” he said, pointing vaguely at the ceiling. “Heaven?” I asked him. “Yeah…” as he nodded, not sadly, but respectfully, contemplatively. Even when he is confused and the dementia is evident, he knows, his spirit is tired….he’s preparing for the future.
So I tried to ask him questions, trying not to get emotional, but matter of factly asking. “What are you thinking about today Dad?” No response. “I really want to know. Are you thinking about your family?” Slight shake of the head. “Are you thinking about places you’ve been?” His finger went up, but no other response. “Are you thinking about home, Dad?” His head moved, but I am not sure if he nodded. He tried really hard to say something, eyes closed the whole time. One short sentence came out but it was so quiet, I didn’t hear the words. But his eyes got watery and spilled over just a bit, still closed.
He ate the applesauce the nurse brought as my mom remembered out loud the applesauce that his mother used to make on the farm. They had apple trees and she would make batch after batch of applesauce about this time of year. He made a throaty noise to acknowledge that he did remember. I put spoonfuls of applesauce into his mouth as mom talked about the farm and his mom.
It was actually one of the nicest visits I’ve had with him since he’s been in the nursing home. The obsessing and paranoia were gone and we had our quiet, peaceful dad back, responding to us and listening, enjoying our company. He has a little stuffed animal that I gave him for Father’s Day. It’s a Scotty dog with very soft fur. I try to remember to put it in his hands whenever I’m there, so he has something to hold and cuddle. When he was in the obsessive stage, he wouldn’t hold it very long, or he would think it was falling and yell at us to catch it because he couldn’t hold on to it and it was slipping. But yesterday as I put it in between his hands that were folded on his lap, he took a hold of it and rubbed it’s face with the palm of his hand. Then he put his face up, eyes still closed and did a little childish barking, as you would do to a little baby when showing them a dog. “rrrrrrrufff, ruff ruff” clamping his teeth like he was biting. I said, “Yeah, Dad, it’s your stuffed dog. He’s soft and nice to hold onto. Hold him for a while.” I was so relieved that he knew and was letting us know that he understood. It will be easier to be there and visit now that the obsessing is gone. I don’t know if we came on a particularly good day or if he really has entered a better stage of his disease, but I’m thankful for the sweet visit. He’s very weak and I do believe he is near the end of his life, but at least there were glimpses of the real him.
When he first had to be admitted to the full time facility, a little less than 3 months ago, he could still walk and he talked to other people there and to the nurses. He was hard to talk to because of the stage of dementia he was in, but he was strong and he talked almost nonstop. To see him decline so rapidly is hard, but in a good way, it is a blessing that he may not have to live long term in this mental condition. Someone (I think the doctor there) advised us when he was admitted, that when a person comes to a nursing home, they either adjust and can live years in the facility….or they decline and die within months or a year. I can tell my dad is tired of this life. I think he longs to be set free to enjoy the next life in Eternity. As hard as it will be on his family, I hope it is soon for him. I hope it is soon.
A long and winding post... Topic: People/Family stories
My mom asked me yesterday if I’d had time to write lately. She loves to read my blog, but doesn’t go on the internet, so I give it to her a year at a time in written form for Christmas. I just said, “No, not really.” But that was not quite the truth. I have had the time. The missing key ingredient to writing though, is the heart to do it. And I knew if I started writing from my heart, that it would be a hard, long journey into things that I wasn’t ready to sort out on paper…or even in Microsoft Word.
But here goes.
It’s been a rough week with school starting. Usually at this time of year, we are collecting homeschooling supplies, books and thinking of schedules. This year we moved to the city and decided to put the 2 teens in high school. This in itself was a horribly confusing and tedious journey. We really wanted them in 2 other schools, but one did not work out and the other one was not a good choice for Bethany because they didn’t have a good band program. So they are going to the school we are in the district for and jumping in with both feet.
“I hate Mondays!” On Monday, the first day, they both came home deflated and tired. They each had to eat lunch alone, having different lunch hours. And they felt lost in the sea of kids they didn’t know. For Emma, it was freshman orientation day and for Bethany it was finding classes and trying to get a parking permit, having to give up eating lunch to stand in line.
Monday morning I also got the not so surprising news from my doctor’s appointment that I need a hysterectomy. Things are collapsing and though I am not in any pain or discomfort from it yet, it would just continue to cause bigger problems down the line. So now I have to mentally prepare myself for that hurdle in late September. She gave me birth control pills to stop everything until I could have surgery, which I said I would try, but couldn’t take 22 years ago when we were first married. They made me wacko and sick. She promised these did not have those bad side effect and I went home with 2 trial packs.
We talked, we prayed, we worried.
Then Monday night, as I tried to sleep but could not, having had a few little things on my mind, I heard Charles’ cell phone ring at 10 minutes til midnight! It was Hannah….and I had a bad feeling as I answered, knowing it was her at midnight, calling home. She sounded very subdued and quiet, so I cut to the chase…”What happened??” She said she wasn’t going to tell us, not wanting to worry us, but she couldn’t sleep and needed to talk to us. Of course, this does a number on your adrenal gland and energy/stress hormones go shooting through your stomach and head, making you feel a little nauseated and dizzy. (or was that the BC pill I had taken 3 hours before?) It turns out she was closing up the coffee shop where she works 2 nights a week and was robbed!!! I’m asking questions that come out of thin air, without passing through my conscious thought, and I am hearing her saying, “No, he didn’t have a gun…no, he didn’t hurt me, I’m fine.” With that information, my head starts to gain a little control of my adrenal gland and she tells me the whole story.
She was working alone (I hate that) and had just cleaned the coffee machine and was about to count out the register. There was one customer still in the shop…really an acquaintance of hers who likes to hang out there, but can’t afford to buy fancy coffee. So she had not locked the doors yet and there came a young man, about 20 years old in the door. Letting him know she had just cleaned the coffee machine for the night, the young man said he’d have tea. And as she turned to begin making it, she heard him say, “Actually, I’ll just take this.” He had his hands in the register and was grabbing all the bills he could, then ran out the door. Hannah and the guy sitting in the shop stood there in stunned silence, frozen in shock.
She had to call the police, which meant her acquaintance had to leave, since he knows the police rather well and didn’t want to get into any trouble. The police dispatch said it would be a while since there was a shooting that most of the town’s police were already called to. She had to call her boss, which was when the shaking began, oh and the crying. He could not come, he was at his other job. So thankfully she called her roommate, who came there, along with her boyfriend, to wait with Hannah for the police and see her home safely.
We talked, we prayed, we worried…..again.
We finally hung up, with the knowledge that her roommate and boyfriend would come the next night, to be with her while she was closing. She also said a church meets there after closing on Tuesdays, so there would be a lot of people around.
“I love Tuesdays!” Tuesday was such a relief. Except that I had waves of nausea all day. The girls came home from school somewhat energized. I asked about their day as they began to tell me of all the supplies and things they needed for classes. I asked about lunchtime….I dreaded knowing the answer. But Emma said she had found a girl from her orientation group, who was eating all alone and sat by her. The girl said she was new and didn’t know anyone, so she was glad to have Emma to eat with. They’ve now had lunch together everyday this week and Emma is going to invite her to youth group. Bethany said she went outside to eat her lunch and a girl came and asked if she could sit by her. They got to talking and found out they are both strong Christians and made plans to eat together thereafter also….*whew*…. At which time, I started crying so much that I could not hide it, kind of like a very short version of Emma Thompson’s breakdown in Sense and Sensibility upon learning that Edward is not married, but it was his brother who married Lucy. (my favorite part)
Bethany hooted at me, thinking I was ridiculous to cry because they made lunch friends. She thought it was very strange. It was then that I decided not to take any more of those BC pills, suddenly remembering the wacko and nauseas thing. Vicariously, I was having panicky feelings all day about lunch hours, but it worked out and I was so relieved! Usually, such a thing would not move me to tears, so I’m thinking my assumption about the BC pills was correct. It was Emma’s first day of classes after Monday’s orientation, so she reported about all her teachers and funny or strange things that had happened.
We went to Target to find notebooks and gym shoes, laughing a lot and feeling so much better than Monday. We ate frozen pizzas, swam in our pool, and the girls arranged their notebooks and backpacks. I had also called Hannah, who was feeling quite fine at work, not fearful or nervous. The church group who meets there was coming in and out with equipment…making a welcome distraction! The girls went to bed on time without so much as a mild protest and all was well as we all slept soundly through the night.
“You just can’t trust Wednesdays!” Wednesday though, found trouble, as we were called to a meeting with a nurse at my dad’s nursing care facility. They are advising us to put him on hospice care. That will be another post though….soon I think.
Wednesday night was good, meeting with people at church to pray, learn, talk and laugh. What would I do without having a good church? I thought about that because a friend of mine online, who I’ve been emailing with, is a pastor’s wife in the South. She and her husband are in a tumultuous situation in their church, brought on by hypocritical, mean people. Not all churches have good, like minded fellowship, but if you find one, count your blessings and dig your heels in! (and pray for my friend as they wait this storm out)
I came home, lost a few games on online gin rummy and quickly went to bed so that there could be no more bad news for the day.
“Thursdays have a way of making you think….or of thinking a certain way.” Today is Thursday. I took my mom to her weekly hair appointment, then to visit my dad. My sweet dad. The nurses settle him into a recliner each morning by the nurses’ station so they can keep a close eye on him. He sits there with his eyes closed, drifting in and out of sleep, existing. We talked to him, he was awake but his eyes stay closed as if it’s too much for him to open them. His normal babbling talk was silenced and he nodded or shook his head ever so slightly when I asked him yes or no questions. He is tired and he’s fading. But it’s not a bad thing….it is a thing to be endured and walked through. And we hope to walk through it with him. More on this tomorrow.
Right now I have ribs in the crockpot, homemade bread ready to pop in the oven and beans to bake. I came home feeling defeated and low, but we are not defeated:
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 2 Corinthians 4:16-17
Eternal glory FAR (way far, go long, on and on) outweighs our light and momentary troubles. Come to think of it, I think that applies to our whole week.