Today is my dad's 80th birthday. Quite a milestone and it has come at quite a price. In his 70's we watched him go through a lot of physical problems and lots of procedures and surgeries to get to 80! A stent and angioplasty in his early 70's, followed by a pacemaker.... steadily we watched his weakening heart slowing him down to a shuffle. Then prostate cancer and recurring scar tissue from the prostate surgery which made his kidneys shut down for a few days this year. His mind is slowing down as is his body and we have to remind him of things he knew well a year ago. The doctors put him through a year's worth of testing and evaluation to determine if he is getting Alzheimer's disease, as his 2 sisters do. The results were negative, which is a great relief.
Everyone knows that your body and mind slow down in old age and that you start needing more medical attention. I knew this was coming as my parents entered their 60's and 70's, but it seemed to happen quickly, like a smack in the face when it happened to my family. It is personal this time.....it hit home....it invaded our lives without permission and it hurts us. Shame on me for not being more sympathetic and supportive when friends would talk about their aging parents and how bewildering it is. It is a hard thing to watch your dad lose his ability to go hiking and walking, to watch him spend more and more time in his chair, walking to the kitchen for a cup of coffee becoming a chore. My dad once was an extremely intelligent scientist and engineer. His job was to be given a problem and to figure out how to solve it and build a machine to make it happen. Amazing....I use to try to listen to him explain scientific or mathematical things and get dizzy!! I just could not think on that level. Now he tells me things several times in one day and needs help thinking of a word to finish his sentences sometimes. Hard....hurts....bewildering.....makes you have to grow up in the most basic of ways...with your parents!
I watched a rerun of 7th Heaven this morning...funny how it happened to be this episode today...on my dad's birthday. The pastor's wife Annie's dad had passed away. She had been very depressed and anxious during his illness and fight with some chronic disease, I can't remember what it was even, but she knew he was fading. So he actually dies and she gets this euphoric feeling, this relief and peace. So the whole episode is about how everyone is feeling euphoric when they should be grieving and sad....they all attribute this to Annie's influence and how she's so unusually and alarmingly happy. Well it's kind of funny and quirky and you wonder what the conclusion is going to be here. So finally one night she and her husband, lying on their bed, discuss her euphoric feelings. She explains that she is happy because she realizes all the extraordinary gifts she's been given in life.....her wonderful parents who raised her so well, for her children and how they have turned out so well and are happily pursuing their own ways in life, and for her assurance that her father is now in Heaven and at peace. She is full of joy and happiness over the gratitude she has from all the good things in her life. She is grateful and appreciative and is enjoying it with no excuses, even when everyone expects her to be sad.
Point taken, Lord. =) I will go to Phoenix tomorrow for my dad's 80th birthday celebration and be happy and enjoy him and my family and be grateful and appreciative...instead of being tempted to wallow in self pity and sadness at how much he has lost...I will celebrate who he has been and even who he is now, a gentle, loving albeit simpler, slower person. I love my parents and I?m glad I still have them......and I need to enjoy them while they're here with us.
Dog Blog Day Topic: Humor/memes
Well I said I would tell you about my dogs and nothing else very interesting happened today so I?ll tell you about Millie. While living in New Jersey, we were browsing the puppy stalls *they really keep them in kind of large wooden stalls with saw dust or straw on the floors* at the Puppy Barn one day and saw these funny little pure white puppies, all perky and cute. I?ll wager that 95% of the people who go into the Puppy Barn do not leave empty handed and neither did we. They specialized in selling breeds mixed with poodle for cute, non-shedding dogs. So we chose an Eskimo-poo from the many poo mixes and brought home a trembling little ball of fur.
Her timid disposition didn?t last long though and she turned into what we called the Tazmanian devil dog! She picked on Emma, my daughter who was then 2, by stealing her toys just within Emma?s side vision and take off running, glancing behind her to make sure Emma was in chase. It infuriated poor Emma, but it was a hoot to watch. She stole shoes, socks, little toys, toys bigger than her, and when Emma would catch her and retrieve the toy, She would then turn and chase Emma, adding a little nip nip in the rear end while Emma was running and screaming. *it was really just as funny as it sounds, she was a feisty thing!* She also loved to get out in the yard and run as fast as she could. This scared us to death because we didn?t have a fence and were afraid she would run into the street and get run over. She never did run into the street, but the squirt would love for us to try to catch her and ran fast in huge circles. We started having to carry dog biscuits in our pockets and hands to get her to come willingly back into the house before installing a doggie run. This was 10 years ago and she still loves to be chased and will occasionally steal a shoe or sock and run off.
She loves to have a toy that is her own to play with and beat up. (now that Emma is 12) Her latest toy is a little doll, the kind you find at toy store check out stands. We called it her Baby and she loves to take care of the baby?.you just have to mention the word baby and she get this wild, ?ok, wherrrrrrrrre is she?!? look in her eyes. She loves to lay on her back and hold the baby between her front paws, otter fashion, and alternate biting and flipping the doll around and licking it, like she is loving on it. She will actually attack any toy that has eyes if you make them ?look? at her. *hehehe* Disclaimer: I have to point out here that she does know the difference between her toy and real babies. She is very gentle but aloof around babies and toddlers, staying clear of them, but if forced into contact, she is always sweet to them.
I do have graphics to go with this story which show her calm demeanor before and then her attack, Tazmanian devil dog mode.
I love my baby....she's a good baby. Did you give me a look? Was that a LOOK? I'll teach you to look at me, you bad baby! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG!! Poor baby....she has an empty place inside.
Colds and ice and brand new babies Topic: Humor/memes
Wellness is a good thing. I have been sick with various cold viruses since before Thanksgiving....and have been sick the past 7 days with the worst one yet. (which is why I had time to make this blogpagethingie) Sore throat, achy, ears plugged up, then came the dreadfullest cough....dr...meds....so today I woke up feeling a little better, which made me pretty happy. I could swallow without cringing.....you've gotta love antibiotics! and codiene cough meds.....makes you all cozy feeling and light. And I didn't feel like I was coughing up my lungs today...that's a good thing. =)
Anyway, I got ready for work by 8am and get a call that we are not starting school til 10am....wheeeeeheee. Kind of drastic I thought since there was only a dusting of snow covering the ground. So I had another cuppa coffee and watched the morning news.
Time to leave and husband warns me to be careful, it's icy out...*in places, I think to myself*.....pull out of the driveway and realize I am driving on a solid sheet of ice! That is a really weird feeling in case you've never experienced it. It crunches as you drive along and stopping and turning are done at a pace of 10 miles per hour.....in fact most people driving on ice do those 'California stops' where they kinda slow down and glide through stop signs if no one's coming. And the weird slow mo feeling of trying to stop and instead you go sliding out into an intersection is weird and frightening and funny at the same time. All you can do is sit there going in slow motion, staring at the other people in the intersection, as if to say 'heh heh, hey I hope we don't crash or sumpin!' At school we get out of the car and our feet go sliding away! lol We had to hold hands and the side of the car and go very slowly to get in. Even places that looked like puddles were solid frozen water!
By afternoon it had all turned to slush again and all the excitement turned to our good friends and the fact that they just had a new baby last night! Of course I can't go see the baby til I am relatively germ free. Baby Corbin, their first boy out of three, was born at home assisted by a midwife. Lemmee tell ya, some people are so brave! Everything went fine, as did her other 2 children's home births, but sounds scary to me! At HOME?? No epidural, ice chips, a weird lil gown that never fits and a hoard of strangers parading in and out of your room? Ok, both ways are scary I guess. I'm just thanking God for our new little friend and for his mom's relief and closure to a long pregnancy.
My dogs outside are glad it's dry tonight...I'll have to tell you about my dogs another day cuz that would take way too long for tonight.
I saw a sight called Endless Rant.....and while it's a fun name for a sight, blogs can tend to end up as ranting grounds.....blah blah blah blaaaaaaaaaaaahg. My hope is that this will be an encouraging, funny and informative blog. So here's my first try *cringe*......
Sending out Christmas 'newsletters' is a great thing to do....keeping in touch with old friends (and old family *hey, just kidding*) is easy with a once a year chronicle complete with cute graphics and a little innocent bragging.
This year when I sent out our letter, I got several back, meaning old 'friends' had up and moved off without sending a new address! *ouchie* Well...I'm sure they didn't let it happen on purpose, but it happened just the same and it was a bad feeling. *ew* So what a nice feeling and surprise when 3 of my old friends got in contact with me this January. Cool beyond degree!
One is a friend I have had since we were 4 years old, when she moved in next door to my parents house. We grew up together.....moved in different circles starting in high school, but whenever we were together it was like old times and she is a part of me and who I am. Newly divorced and a single mom to two little boys, she is incredibly positive and full of hope for the future. Some things don't work out like we envision them, but what an awesome way to comeback!
The second one emailed me her blog and her photo album online....a cool, yet thoughtful gesture to reacquaint I think. We met in college...I think it was in Old Testament History with Dr. Dane. We went through college laughing and crying together, sharing lots and lots of memories and 'moments'....like the time we were 'studying' out on the lawn in front of the library and a pigeon POOPED in my hair and let me tell you, pigeon poop gains a lot of speed while falling from a tall palm tree....*DOINK* I was so embarrassed and she walked me to my car and drove home with me to wash it out. (later on we were thinking, 'why didn't we just go to a campus restroom????' But anyway, she supported me in my most tragic pigeon poop episode....well ok, she was rolling around laughing at me the entire time! (but that just made it less humiliating for me.) We were Resident Assistants in the freshman dorm together (well she was the head honcho and I was a lowly RA), she was in my wedding, and she is a part of me and who I am. Turns out she has been through a good many troubles these past 20 *erk, should I admit that?* years since college. But she has found a good place in her life right now and is loved and happy. Her blog reacquainted me with her...she is quirky, artsy and funny and a really good writer and photographer. Her blog inspired me to start this and she inspires me to be myself. =)
The third friend to get back in touchyness is a lady I met when we both had new babies! I really needed a friend, as we had just moved across the country and had just begun a family and we knew no one! She befriended me and we walked babies in strollers, went to exercise classes, talked about our husband-types...they were both ministers.....and she gave me a lot of practical wisdom in raising babies (hers was a month or two older, so she was the expert and knew what I needed to know!) Over the ten years we lived in New Jersey, we eventually went to separate churches and spheres of influence, but she helped me and we bonded in those early childhood years and she is part of me and who I am. She sent a picture of her very tall family! They looked like a wonderfullly fun family and so happy...inspiring.
So as I was driving very slooooooooowly along I 40, along mountain curves and in inches of snowy slush today....I was distracting myself by thinking of what I would write about if I started a blog...or maybe a novel! ha! And these are the thoughts that I was thinking and then it reminded me of a song by Rich Mullins....here tis, Brother's Keeper...nice blogging at you.
"Now the plummer's got a drip in his spigot The mechanic's got a clank in his car And the preacher's thinking thoughts that are wicked And the lover's got a lonely heart My friends ain't the way I wish they were They are just the way they are
And I will be my brother's keeper Not the one who judges him I won't despise him for his weakness I won't regard him for his strength I won't take away his freedom I will help him learn to stand And I will ~ I will be my brother's keeper
