Yui Miyamoto 
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Disclaimer: Tokyo Babylon is by Clamp. I claim no rights to it.Random
Thoughts
Chapter 5 - Consumed.
It was then that I
opened my eyes to find him looking back at me. With a sleepy-eyed look yet still
smiling, he held my cheek again and wiped my tears away with his thumb. "Don't
cry. Stop crying."
The more you tell me not to...
I can't help but do
it more...
"I-I can't..." I started to sob and again, I couldn't look at
him. Grabbing his shirt even more, I said, "They won't stop."
Seishirou
then told me, "Go lock the door."
Looking at him with an expression full of
confusion, I slowly let go of him and went over to lock the door.
When I came
back, I lightly placed myself in my original position and we were silent once
more trying to absorb each others thoughts though we knew we could be just
deceiving each other as humans always have.
My tears had dried, but I found
myself longing for him. This yearning feeling kept on tugging at me as if I
would lose him now.
Even though he was so close to me.
"Why are
you silent?" He said as he looked out the window.
It's not helping.
I
don't think I should come here.
I should have kept myself out of this and not
come to visit him.
It's temptation even more so...
There, I found
myself crying again though I hated myself by now for doing it because it just
showed how vulnerable I was to him. How much he had punctured forcefully into my
heart like a gentle wind full of sakura touching my cheeks.
Then, he
again took off his glasses and placed them carefully onto the nightstand next to
his bed. He focused on me. Slowly putting his hands to cup my face, he pulled me
to kiss him.
As I was lifting my hands to protest, they dropped softly on
his shoulderblades.
I can't say no...
not to you,
Seishirou...
"I know," he whispered to me as he began to take off my
jacket.
"Demo..." I tried to respond as he began to kiss my face from the top
of my head to my chin.
"Be careful what you wish for," he whispered. "Because
I won't hold back. Not tonight."
The stars under my gloves began to become
warm but I didn't notice it too much as my temperature began to rise.
Taking
off my shirt, he lightly pushed me away and cupped my hand over his cheek. "Look
at me, Subaru."
I lifted my eyes to look at his own.
Those
eyes...
No...one is...
He moved my hand to the place where his right
eye used to be. Over this bandage, I wanted to cry. But I didn't.
Seishirou
looked at me with a look that said not to. That it wasn't my fault at all.
If
he didn't go in front of me, he'd be so angry with himself...
Then, he
took both of my hands and instructed them to take his buttons off.
While
kissing him, I then found myself forgetting who and what we were at the
moment.
I forgot who was that boy with no name...
I forgot
that I was the heir to the Sumeragi clan...
I forgot that there was
something that bothered me about him, but I didn't care at all...
I
forgot the warnings my grandmother had given me...
I forgot how many
years we were apart by age...
I forgot everything as time stood
still...
Melting into him, I didn't care...
for once, I wasn't
concerned or apologizing...
I had given into my own wants and needs...
No
one to tell me yes or no to what I could or could not have...
This was
what brought me closer to Seishirou...
As he made love to me, I realized that
he let me be someone that I couldn't be...
...that he let me love so
freely...
...that he wouldn't stop me from doing what I wanted or
pleased...
...that he would let me dream what I wanted...
He didn't
have to say he loved me anymore...
nor did I have to with him.
The words
we wanted to say couldn't be said anymore...
But he also showed me that
loving someone doesn't necessarily mean you'd make them happy or that they'd be
with you forever...
I am now consumed...
...letting you consume me
like a fire that is killing me with its beauty being touched and being burned at
the same time...
Pressing my lips closer to his more than before, I
thought, "I can never get close to you as this...but why do I feel so far away
from you?"
As I laid in bed with him that night, he ran his fingers
through my hair and I watched the moon as I slept to one side.
"Seishirou?"
"Yes?" He turned over and put his arm on my waist. "What is
it?"
"Why...why do I get the feeling you will leave me someday?"
Seishirou
became silent.
He again just kissed the back of my head as I felt some tears
on me, he said, "For tonight. Just for tonight, let's just forget the
world."
Holding me closer and putting his face next to mine, he whispered,
"For tonight, let's abandon our fate."
Closing my eyes, I nodded,
"Okay..."
But a tear had somehow slipped out as his words repeated inside my
heart, "You should watch out, Subaru-kun...because the happiness you want may
lead you to darkness and sadness....Mine. Maybe I should say this to myself
also, shouldn't I, Subaru-kun?"
Were we lying to one another? I do not
know...
...and at this moment, I don't really care...
Holding his
hands though mine were bleeding, he didn't mind. We fell asleep
peacefully...
Sleepily, I whispered paying no attention to whether or not
he was awake anymore, "Yes, for one night, let us enjoy this time
together.
For I fear our time is short from now on..."
--
Author's
note: O_o; I can't believe I wrote this but I think this was another thing that
drove me bonkers about them...
It didn't help that the song playing as I made
this was 'Solid Gold'...
Yui Miyamoto
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