Yui Miyamoto 
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Disclaimer: yui doesn’t own fruba.Music Without Words
Chapter 11 – love to death
After dinner, we all played cards.
It was really funny playing speed with everyone because they were all
so…competitive? Hatori blinked his eyes whenever he won and Momiji would do this
dance. Tohru would laugh as if it were luck while Yuki and Kyo would end in
draws whenever they played against one another. As for myself, I just blinked
and smiled saying, “I actually won?”
Shigure and Hatori went to bed first
and the rest followed. And just like yesterday, I had trouble sleeping so I went
out to the sand and touched my feet to the waves coming in. I stood there
looking out into the water thinking about the whirlwind of events for the
day.
Momiji shouting at me couldn’t be erased from my mind.
But he
was right when he said I was a coward.
Why had I been expecting this
from the beginning?
“Shigure’s terrible at changing the subject. You know
that, Haru,” Kyo said as he came to stand beside me. He sighed as he rolled his
khaki’s up to mid-calf. “I’ll keep on bugging you until you tell me.”
He
put his hands into his pockets and waited for an explanation.
Why was my
secret gradually coming out slowly?
“How do you feel about Tohru, Kyo?” I
questioned as I turned to face him.
He blushed as he got mad and shook
his head. “I’m not here to talk about myself.”
“If you don’t answer, I
can’t give you a good explanation, Kyo. I’m not trying to be difficult. If I
was, I would just challenge you to a fight right now to avoid talking about
anything at this moment.”
He bit his lip and then he pouted. Blushing, he
answered with a grudge, “I like her…I like her a lot.”
“Why do you like
her?”
His eyes became soft as he replied, “I like the way she talks. She
thinks that she doesn’t know what to say, but somehow, because she’s honest, her
message gets through.”
Kyo laughed as he said, “One time she told me that
people are like onigiri. I really thought she was stupid for that one until she
mentioned that people can’t see their good traits because only the other onigiri
can see what’s on your back.”
I smiled at him as I folded my arms over my
chest.
His answer was so different from Yuki’s…
…and yet they
didn’t realize that they loved her for similar reasons too.
“You know the
story about Yuki being my first love.”
He nodded. “I can’t believe you
fell for _him_. No offense to you, but I still don’t get the guy-guy
stuff.”
“No offense taken.” I took a step forward, feeling the freezing
cold water calm my nerves and the warmth spreading throughout my body over just
talking about Yuki. It was a subject I hardly shared to anyone. “But just like
Tohru, that’s the way I feel about Yuki. Yuki is all the things I can’t be, but
I love him so much because he only wants to become better everyday. He taught me
that. To look beyond what I’m told to be.”
“But why did Momiji get mad at
you? Why was he shouting at you?”
“I’m pretty sure Hatori’s told Shigure
by now and he’s already told Momiji.” I faced him. “And I’m going to tell you
now, but you have to protest not to do anything about it. You will just listen
and accept it.”
He just looked at me blankly. “I don’t like the sound of
this…”
“Just promise me, Kyo. You take this to your
grave.”
Slowly, he nodded his head.
“You know I went to Akito’s
about a month ago, right?”
He bobbed his head up and down. “Was it the
night you and Yuki were talking?”
“Yes. And because I was too honest with
my feelings towards Yuki, Akito got mad.”
“The usual
reaction.”
“We made a promise that if Yuki falls for me, then we can go
on as an accepted couple in his eyes.”
“And the catch is…”
“The
catch is that if Yuki doesn’t fall for me, I have to kill myself,
Kyo.”
His eyes just stared at me.
I had expected him to shout at
me and beat me up like Momiji, but somehow, this was much more
painful.
“That’s why Momiji did what he did…” he trailed off while his
eyes kept their gaze at me. “I can’t blame him for what he did.”
In a
scathing tone, he shook his head and said, “My mother did that. Camouflaging
kind words for fear. Pretending to love me when she was only afraid I’d hurt
her.”
With disbelief in his clear eyes, he continued to scold me, “Why?
Whenever someone says that they love something or someone, do they say that they
love them to death?”
He pushed me away.
“Let me tell you
something, she was wrong and you are wrong! Kana-san was wrong and so was
Momiji’s mother! They were cowards!” He sighed in frustration. “I used to be
scared of myself too! But I learned that it’s harder to live with no one by your
side and when you push everyone away. You shouldn’t ever forget what makes you,
you!”
“Kyo…” I tried to reach out to him, but he turned his back to
me.
“I’ve always admired you, Haru. For always knowing what you wanted
from life.” Glancing back at me, he shook his head. “I’ve always you seen you as
my little brother. So why now are you giving up?”
It was then that his
hands became fists and one hand grabbed my collar. He shook me violently with a
tear falling from his eye. “I’m disappointed in you, Haru. I thought you were
tough.”
I swallowed what he said as I watched the waves come back and
forth while he silently stomped away from me.
As my knees wobbled, I fell
as the ocean waters covered me with their cold hands. I put my hands into the
water and grabbed for the muddy sand.
I couldn’t see my reflection in
front of me and my eyes wouldn’t let me cry any more tears.
Why was it
the people I was trying to protect the most were the ones I’d hurt with all my
silent might?
Tsuzuku…
--
Author’s note: Okay, so I made
Kyo also very strong with his words too. I thought he should have said what he
did in this fic because of his own experiences.
Yui Miyamoto
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