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Disclaimer: Yui no monogatari janai yo!

Inside and Out

I woke up when I heard a big commotion from outside the bedroom. Instantly, I woke up and ran to the kitchen in a panic. "Hikaru!" I shouted while pulling the sheets away from my body in a blink of an eye.

When I came to a screech, I huffed and puffed to find that in the short time he had been awake, he had managed to mess up my small kitchen. Flour was everywhere. Egg shells lined one counter.

There he stood in the middle of the flash tsunami of white powder as if he were chaos itself. As a response to my wide eyes, he patted his head and gave me an embarrassed laugh.

"Shindou!" I shouted at him as he blushed at me even more.

I closed my eyes as my hands turned into fists. But then when I opened my eyes again to look at him, I stood there and crossed my arms instead.

With a cute, apologetic face, he told me, "I wanted to make you breakfast because you were still mad at me. It didn't help, did it?"

I didn't say anything, but I couldn't help but shake my head with an amused face. My anger cracked into a small smile on my lips.

"Was that it?" I asked him as I came through the mini flour piles on the wooden floor. "I wasn't mad at you anymore."

"You were all serious when I woke up this morning and drinkin' coffee and all. And then I saw that you were having a bad dream, but I didn't want to wake you up because you told me never to do that." He sighed as he fidgeted in front of me. "And I know when Aki's mad at me `cause he gets nightmares."

Blink, blink.

I wanted to slap my forehead at his stupidity and at the way I fell so easily into his grasps, even when he was doing it unintentionally.
He then put his hand on a lid and lifted it up to reveal three normal looking pancakes. Next to them, I saw seven nearly-burned ones.

I sighed again.

How… How could I possibly stay mad at somebody like this?

AH! You drive me crazy, Shindou Hikaru!!

I put my hand over my mouth to laugh. "Why did you cook when you don't even do it at home?"

"Because Aki's good at it." He winked at me as he began to smile back at me. "You always cook for me."

Proudly, he presented me his pancakes.

I shook my head and walked through the mess to the dining room table. I sat on my chair as Hikaru as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

Jii… He gave me an intense look as I ate a brown one.

And he made a Western dish. The boy didn't even know how to cook Japanese dishes proficiently.
But how could I possibly ever learn to hate someone so adorable?

I couldn't fight it at all.
I wasn't even going to try anymore.

"How do you like it, Aki?" He smiled at me brightly as I just grinned sheepishly back at him, despite the fact that pancakes were bland. Thank goodness for the maple syrup he bought.

No wonder your mother got irritated sometimes. You really were too genki in the morning.
But that was of no consequence to me…

I needed someone who's bright… Even though he's dense. ^^;;;

I sliced some pieces and fed him as he continued to hold me. "I think they needed more sugar. What do you think?"

"Yes, maybe just a tiny bit," I answered honestly.

Talking about mundane things like this… I wanted to just talk with you like this…

Funny how I've changed from someone who didn't care about anything but making my parents proud and playing Go to someone who cared about how his boyfriend's bangs fell over his face when he was asleep.

Had I become weak? Yes… …but I had become so much stronger because of you too.

That damn dream…

At that moment, I sighed as finished my breakfast and leaned back so that I could feel his heart with my head. Silently, I closed my eyes and we were like that for a while.
It probably pained him to be so quiet for such a `long' period of time, but Hikaru had this habit of his heart pounding whenever he came next to me.

Not that my own faded away… I just learned to control it…

God, that was difficult.

"What did you dream about?" Hikaru asked as he held me tighter.

I couldn't tell if he was serious or if he was just asking to ask, but there was a bit of panic in his voice also.
I found it kind of strange. It was a habit of his at the oddest of time. I never knew where it stemmed from.

I kept my eyes closed as I felt his heart become more nervous.

"I dreamt that I was a prince in some kind of mixed time. It was like ancient times mixed with modern Tokyo. It was really weird."
"Then why were you calling my name, Aki?"

I jolted a bit. I wasn't aware that I talked aloud when I slept. Maybe because it was that powerful and made me so confused inside.
But I didn't hesitate to answer him. "I was looking for you, but you weren't there. I was trying to find you, and when I did, it wasn't you at all."

"How could it be me and not me at the same time?"

"The boy looked like your twin." I laughed as I opened my eyes to glance at Hikaru's face. "He said his name was Sai. Isn't that strange?"
Then, I continued, "That's the name of the opponent I played on the Internet, remember?"

For a moment, Hikaru didn't say anything as I looked at him.
He was gone for a small moment.

"Hikaru?" I asked as I began to touch his face.

But he couldn't hear me at all.

My own heart began to cringe…

I hated it when you looked that way… You always made it seem like I couldn't reach you.

I couldn't catch up to you from there…

Tsuzuku… -- Author's note: I went straight into the dream sequence because we are in Akira's head. I wanted you to feel that you were him, which is why I chose the first person perspective for this fic. I wanted you to absorb him. To love him, to hate him, to be confused with him, to feel everything as if it were you. I want you to become one with Akira and show my appreciation of how much I love and admire him.
If I do not accomplish this in this fic, I have failed myself as a writer.

As I said earlier, I am trying a different type of style for myself. I hope to grow with each chapter and each fanfic. Thank you for reading so far. It is really encouraging! You can't imagine how happy I always am to get feedback. It is not because you've paid attention to me or that I'm starving for words, it's just that you were sweet enough to take your time to write to me. It is always a writer's honor to know what their reader's think.

I know Jamie-san you had asked for Subaru and Seishirou (which I promise to do for you), but I would like to present this fic to you also. Thank you for being kind enough to give me all of HnG and I hope that this fic is to your liking.

And yes, to the reader who commented on the gap being because of Sai, * smile * ping pong! Yes, that's part of the plot. A very important piece, but there's more than one way to play an atari on the Go board…

if you'd like to leave feedback, please do so here: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1604068&chapter=4 thanks!

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