Farfarello was not impressed with Tokyo Tower.
As Schuldich led the silent Irishman on a stroll at the top of the tower, wondering vaguely if he should push one of the people at the binocular sets out of the way so Farf could see the view, he smirked to himself.
Yes, life was good. There was nothing like a quickie with a complete stranger to brighten one's day. Of course the boy's cries of pain at his lack of any sort of lubricant had been pretty damn amusing... He had left the boy a huddled mass on the bathroom floor, shaking violently and looking close to tears. The kid had come, that was all that mattered. So despite the pain, he had enjoyed it. He would probably, however, Schuldich thought wryly, be more careful about who he chose to flirt with in the future.
Farfarello was watching a class of elementary students walk cheerfully by with a strange gleam to his eye, so Schuldich hastily steered him towards one of the large binoculars- what the hell were those things called, anyway? -and nudged the young woman there none too gently. "Beat it," he said shortly when she turned to stare at him, affronted. One look at the fierce looking man beside him, however, and she widened her eyes and made a hasty retreat. Schuldich flicked his fingers at the contraption. "Go on, Farf, look through there."
Farfarello glanced at him coolly.
"You know," Schuldich said in exasperation, "the last time someone got called to another world to kill a girl in a frilly dress she was looking through one of these."
Farfarello quickly put his eye to the lens.
Schuldich glanced around idly as he waited on his partner, watching the people mill around and sifting through their thoughts. After a few long moments Farfarello finally pulled away, disgusted. "You're a liar," he said simply.
Schuldich laughed at him.
Farfarello scowled, then said abruptly, "I want you to teach me 'sod-imee'."
Schuldich's jaw hit the floor.
A few nearby tourists glanced towards them with shocked looks. A woman with two young children hustled them away, looking flustered. Someone snickered.
"Farfarello," Schuldich said from behind gritted teeth, "what the fuck are you talking about?"
The madman's eye was eerily calm. ::You said sod-imee hurts God.:: His mental tone was low and dangerous, as if daring the other man to deny him this new request. ::Teach it to me.::
::Do you even know what it *is*?:: Schuldich demanded, amusement coloring his initial shock.
The Irishman simply stared blankly at him.
Schuldich rubbed his temples, warding off a headache. ::I'm not going to 'teach' you sodomy, Farf,:: he said firmly.
::Explain it, then,:: he snapped.
Schuldich sneered at him. ::Take a wild guess.::
Farfarello wasn't stupid. ::It has something to do with two men having sex,:: he said calmly. ::How?::
This..was ludacris. Schuldich made his way back towards the elevator with a bored expression. ::Wouldn't you like to know. I didn't take you out to teach you how to walk on the other side of the street.::
Farfarello caught up quickly, his eye gleaming. He didn't get the other man's joke about the street, but he did know his companion was refusing to indulge his curiosity. ::Answer me.::
Schuldich pressed the button for the elevator, casting a calmly amused look on the younger man. ::How do you expect me to explain it to you? With a picture book?::
Farfarello frowned up at him. ::Show it to me.::
Schuldich couldn't help it. He laughed harshly. ::Oh, that's rich!:: As he sobered, though, he saw that his partner was fiercely serious. ::You must be joking. What do you want me to do, invite you to watch next time I pick some kid off a railcar?:: His smile was sultry as he reached out to trace his thumb teasingly along the other man's full lips. ::Or do you want to find out personally?::
The assassin pulled back slightly, removing himself from the soft touch, his gaze piercing. ::What are you doing?::
::You said sod-imee-::
::Sodomy, Farf. Sodomy.::
::-hurts God,:: he reminded him yet again.
::Yes, and that *is* your favorite pastime, isn't it,:: Schuldich pointed out, rolling his eyes. The elevator binged, its doors sliding open, and he stepped inside once the occupants had exited, chattering excitedly. As the elevator carried them down- the sole occupants, thanks to his twit of a partner's outburst -Schuldich found himself studying the other man out of the corner of his eye.
Bedding Farfarello had never even occured to him. He had gone after Nagi because the kid was damn gorgeous, and he'd flirted with Crawford because he'd wanted to break down the older man's walls and play with him. Plus he wasn't terribly unfortunate looking.
While the man was not bad looking, he was just too much of a mental case- even for the German -for him to have ever looked upon him with anything other than amusement or impatience.
The man was serious about his request. This might very well work out in favor of the German, if he played his cards right. There were actually some tantalizing perks to the prospect.
One, the madman couldn't feel pain. Which meant any time he felt like it he could take the man, without the annoying hassle of rummaging for some sort of lubricant.
Two, he was always around. Nagi and Crawford obviously weren't interested.. and he couldn't keep going out every night and picking up every other slut (male or female) that he ran across. Eventually he could pick something nasty up and find himself explaining a rather embarrassing situation to the doctors. And of course he was lazy... sometimes he just didn't *feel* like leaving the apartment, horny or not.
Three, it was always fun to teach new things to willing students. And as he had noted long ago, Farfarello's looks, though a little scary to those not used to him, were by no means a turn-off. He was actually quite an attractive man, despite the numerous scars.
Four, with his whole 'hurting God' bullshit, Farfarello could probably be persuaded to do a lot of fun things in bed.
Schuldich felt a sly smile curving his lips, and realized the Irishman had caught him looking at him. His smile broadened. ::OK, Farf,:: he relented. ::I'll teach you sodomy.::
Instantly he had the other man's attention. ::When?::
My, my, eager little booger. ::Today,:: Schuldich promised. ::Before we go back to the apartment.:: He lifted a finger, grinning. ::There are many parts to sodomy that make it even more painful to God, Farf. And one main rule.::
Farfarello tilted his head slightly, his gaze piercing.
::If both men are doing it to hurt God,:: Schuldich said with an easy smile, ::then it pisses him off when both men enjoy it.::
Farfarello caught on quickly. ::Then what if it's just another man? Like the boy on the train? He doesn't have to enjoy it?::
Schuldich laughed cruelly. ::That's right, Farf. God will cry blood at the thought- because it's not just sodomy, it's rape. But..:: He shrugged. ::It can be more enjoyable when both members are willing.:: Of course, the opposite was probably true for Farfarello... Details, details.
The whole idea was actually beginning to appeal to Schuldich. He smiled silkily, reaching out once more to touch the Irishman's face. He frowned slightly when the other man pulled back again. "Farf. Touching has a lot to do with sex."
"...Aa." This time he held still as Schuldich traced his fingers down his cheek, staring up at him with a glittering amber eye. Schuldich grinned, pressing his thumb against the younger man's lips.
"Farf," he breathed, "have you ever heard the term DSL?"
The man raised an eyebrow. "Nagi's said it before," he said after a moment. "About his computer."
Schuldich snickered. "This is another DSL." He pressed more firmly with his thumb. "These," he murmured, "are DSL."
Farfarello looked up at him, nonplussed.
Schuldich removed his finger with a smirk as the elevator binged, its doors sliding open to reveal the group of high school students waiting to enter. Some of them looked a little startled at the Irishman's appearance. "I'll tell you later," Schuldich promised as he and his partner strode from the building. "When you can fully appreciate the meaning."
Farfarello didn't reply, but he followed without hesitation as the German led him to the edge of the curb to call for a taxi.
Author's Notes: Sorry, I can't help but put comedy in here.. *sweat* I meant for this story to be semi-serious at least, but I couldn't stop myself XD So if they seem a little OOC.. oh well. la~ I suck at writing Farf, and this isn't exactly my couple of choice anyway. =pp Plus it was just too tempting to do a clueless/funny Farf XD
Also, I know I said the lemon would be in this chapter, but it looks like this story has yanked itself from my grasp and plans on being at least 3 parts... maybe 4. -_-; Stupid stubborn fic. =pp Gomen.. ^.^;
And for those of you who don't know what DSL stands for... *snerk* You'll just have to find out when Farf does ^__^
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