"You want me to what?"
Crawford didn't even glance up from his newspaper, reaching for his coffee as the German stared at him in mild amusement from where he was sprawled on the couch watching TV. "Farfarello needs to get out. Take him somewhere."
"You want me to take him for a walk?" Schuldich drawled, grinning. "Do they make leashes in his size?"
Crawford sipped at his coffee, eyes hidden behind his paper. "We've had no missions for almost a week. Farfarello's getting tired of being locked up. I don't care where you take him, just make sure he doesn't kill anyone and have him back by dark."
Schuldich flipped idly through the channels. "You make it sound like I'm babysitting," he said dryly.
Crawford declined to comment.
After a few moments Schuldich rose with a sigh of long-suffering, tossing the remote carelessly onto the coffee table. "Yare yare... Maybe he'd like to go to the petting zoo and pet the goats?"
"Or eat the goats," Nagi said in a monotone as he walked by on his way to the kitchen.
Schuldich leered at the teenager. "You don't look like you're doing anything important, bish. Why don't you take our little house rat to the zoo?"
Nagi glanced at him briefly over his shoulder. "I'm working," he said firmly.
The telepath gave a shrug, padding leisurely towards the room where Farfarello was chained. "Geez, lazy lazy. I have to do all the work around here..."
Nagi rolled his eyes. ::I wish.::
::Watch it, shrimp.::
He rapped on the bathroom door, calling sarcastically, "Farfie, are you finished with your beauty sleep?"
The only answer was the muffled sound of chains dragging against the tile. Smirking a little to himself, he pulled the key from his pocket and unlocked the door, pushing it open and reaching for the light, flicking it on. He couldn't help but pull a face in disgust at the smell that assailed him. "Christ, Farf!" he waved a hand in front of his face, wrinkling his nose. "Don't you know better than to do that in small enclosed areas with no windows? Gahh!"
Then he discerned the source of the stench.
One amber eye turned upwards, the only moving part of the madman's body. The Irishman was sitting crosslegged in a corner of the small room, holding a dangerous looking chopping knife in one hand and a chunk of what looked like fur and meat in the other-- the remains of a neighbor's cat that Schuldich had allowed him to keep a week ago out of amusement, assuming the younger man would lose interest in it. Schuldich had forgotten about it, and was cursing himself now for his stupid leniency. In the week since Farfarello had toted the limp animal back to the room, he had chopped and torn it into an unrecognizable lump of flesh and hair. Unidentifiable bits of innards and meat were splattered all over the walls, the rim of the sink, and floating in the toilet water. Farfarello's torn straight jacket was covered in blood.
The room smelled like a god damn compost heap.
Schuldich retreated from the door, holding a hand over his mouth at the stench of rotting flesh. "Farfarello," he snarled in irritation. "Put the damn thing down and turn on the fucking shower. I'm not taking you out smelling like a dog that rolled in its own shit."
The Irishman lifted his head slightly, gazing calmly at his partner. "Out?" he echoed tonelessly.
"Yes, out," Schuldich sighed, rolling his eyes. "C'mon, I don't got all day. Get in that shower, and you'd better not take all night. I've got things to do, butcherboy." He shut the door and locked it again, striding back into the living room. Spotting Nagi heading back towards his room, he grinned slyly and sent him a picture of what he had just witnessed.
Nagi stumbled to a halt, turning a heated glare on the grinning man, disgust rising in his mind. ::You're an asshole.::
Schuldich laughed out loud. ::Nice handywork, ne? Farf *does* need to get out.::
Nagi turned away, closing his eyes as if warding off a headache. ::Stay away from me tonight, Schuldich,:: he said, a thread of warning to the thought.
::Mou, touchy touchy,:: Schuldich teased, smirking as Nagi hurried to his room and slammed the door behind him.

Schuldich had to pound on the bathroom door five times in the next half hour before the shower finally turned off.
Just a few minutes later he unlocked the door at a slight scratching sound against the frame, and Farfarello stepped out in the clean clothes Schuldich had tossed in earlier, gazing up at him with an emotionless yellow eye. "Where are we going?" he demanded immediately.
"Just out," Schuldich said shortly. He led the Irishman into the living room, scowling darkly at the man who had decided to ruin his evening. "Don't wait up," he said with heavy sarcasm.
Crawford didn't even look up from his Wallstreet Journal. "Before dark," he reminded the other man in a monotone.
"Yes, Mommy." Rolling his eyes, Schuldich opened the front door and bowed his silent partner out elaborately, forcing a smile. "After you, Saint Farf."
Farfarello's glare was murderous, but the voice in his head was a warning.
::You act up and you're not going out for another week.::
Still watching Schuldich with muted anger, Farfarello strode out into the hall. Schuldich followed, slamming the door behind him- hopefully hard enough to knock the pictures off the walls and irritate Crawford.
Feeling a little smug at that last show of defiance, he strolled after his mad companion, hands thrust in his pockets as they headed towards the elevator. "Saa... so where does one take a homicidal maniac on a Saturday afternoon?"
Farfarello didn't bother to respond.

Schuldich toyed with the idea of bringing Farfarello to a club, just to get the man drunk and maybe convince him that dancing hurt God, but as it was only one in the afternoon, the clubs would be pretty empty right now. ...As amusing as the idea was.
He settled for strolling down the streets of Tokyo for awhile, allowing the Irishman to bask in his temporary freedom, his sharp eye flicking left and right, taking in the sights of all the people and lingering occassionally on some window displays before his attention drifted elsewhere.
Schuldich skimmed idly through random thoughts of the people they passed, always watching his partner out of the corner of his eye, anticipating that glint of insanity that would have the killer lunging at the nearest pedestrian. For the time being, however, Farfarello seemed content to simply walk beside him and look around.
Needless to say, Schuldich grew bored very quickly with the simple walk, and began casting about for some means of entertaining the both of them. Spotting a familiar pinacle in the distance, he gave an amused smirk and nudged his companion. "How about a field trip to the Tokyo Tower?"
Farfarello followed his gaze and stared at the distant building with an expressionless face.
"You never know," Schuldich said airily, turning his feet towards the subway. "We could be called away to another world to kill some little girl in a frilly dress."*
The Irishman's one eye lit up eerily at the prospect of killing. "Her death will hurt God."
Schuldich sweatdropped. Evidently Farfarello didn't read manga. "Never mind, Farf."
They bought subway tickets to the other side of the city. Farfarello, though he seemed even more on edge at the press of bodies around him in the train, managed to keep his bloodlust down and simply stared unnervingly at anyone who looked his way as he stood holding one of the overhead rails beside Schuldich.
'He's cute.'
Schuldich caught the thought and the decidedly male overtone to it aimed towards him and turned with a smirk to search out his admirer. A young man- so young he could have been in his middle years of high school -was glancing sideways at him from where he was seated a few people away on the bench. He caught Schuldich looking at him and flushed at the dazzling smile the German offered before turning his head quickly.
Schuldich leaned lazily against the bar, eyes hooded as he slipped through the boy's tangled thoughts like a child running its hands through candy. It'd been awhile since he'd got any... not since that tart at the club last week. He hadn't been able to get lucky so far back at the apartment, so that route was out. Nagi had thrown him against a wall when he had dared to touch the solemn boy, and Crawford had ignored his suggestions completely- a real turn-off.
Now if only he could ditch madman Farf here, maybe he'd be able to get a little ass and make the day better. He ran appreciative eyes over the boy seated a few feet away. Tall, slender, dark eyes, nice hair. A good looking kid. He unobtrusively slipped a heated picture into the boy's thoughts. The student's eyes widened as he stared at his fists clenched in his lap, his face turning beet red. Embarrassment flooded his thoughts, but underneath that was a sudden hunger- desire.
Ah, the hormones and stupidity of the young, Schuldich mused, grinning at the boy as he glanced hesitantly towards him. On seeing that the German was still watching him, the boy flushed again, but a quick peak of hope rippled through his thoughts.
Schuldich's smile grew predatory, his eyes losing a bit of their focus as he imagined pushing the boy against the seats, plunging into him right there in front of everybody. He almost laughed out loud. Wouldn't the old biddy across the aisle love to see *that*.
Someone at his elbow shifted, and he glanced down at the man staring up at him.
Farfarello's eye was emotionless, but the fact that he had suddenly taken an interest in looking at Schuldich suggested that he had not been shielding all of his feelings from the channel. He quickly slammed a shield around his personal thoughts, smirking down at the Irishman. ::What are you looking at?::
::Is sex all you think about?:: It was a simple question, and spoken with honest if dead-pan curiosity.
Schuldich smirked. ::Pretty much,:: he agreed cheerfully. ::We all know what *you* think about all day.::
Farfarello looked neither offended or interested in the other man's opinion of his obsession with death. He flicked a gaze towards Schuldich's admirer. ::You could lure him off and I could kill him,:: he suggested.
Schuldich's mental laughter was quiet and cruel. ::You're hopeless, Farf. You can kill him if you want to so bad... but not until I'm done with him.::
Farfarello's eye narrowed slightly. The train was halting and people were getting off. The boy was one of them. With a backwards glance towards the watching German, he walked slowly into the station. Schuldich pushed himself from the bar and followed in long, lazy strides. To his mild annoyance, the Irishman followed.
::Bug off, psycho. Wait for me in the restrooms or something. This won't take long.::
::Why do you do these things?:: Farfarello's face was as impassive as ever as he stared straight ahead, his fearsome appearance frightening several people they passed.
::For pleasure,:: Schuldich chuckled. ::There's nothing like a good round of sex to put you in a good mood.::
Farfarello's lips twitched in the beginnings of a frown, and Schuldich cursed himself silently for even carrying on this inane conversation. The Irishman had always been a curious one, and to bring up something that he didn't know about was just asking to give Farfarello an excuse to find the evil in it or to argue its usefulness. ::Sex is supposed to be between a woman and a man,:: Farfarello pointed out.
Schuldich laughed aloud this time. "You've been watching too much TV, Farf. Though most people prefer it that way." He smirked as he spotted his prey disappear around a corner, heading towards the restrooms. "On second thought, don't wait for me in the bathroom. Go find a bench and sit like a good doggy."
But the madman was adament. ::Then why do you do it with men?:: he demanded.
Schuldich was impatient to get rid of the other man, and answered with something he figured would satisfy the bizarre assassin. ::Because sodomy hurts God.::
That gave Farfarello pause. He was immediately interested in this totally new idea of hurting the thing he hated most.
Schuldich smirked. Just when he thought he'd met a man who couldn't be any more corrupted, he'd just introduced his companion to a new sin. Sometimes he amazed himself. ::Understand? Now go sit on that bench and wait for me. And don't kill anyone.::
::Why not?:: Farfarello's eye gleamed rebelliously.
Schuldich turned a stern look on him. ::Wait until later. And if you disobey me, you're not coming out of the flat for another week.::
Scowling, Farfarello turned reluctantly and headed for the bench.
And now, Schuldich thought with a pleased if malicious grin, down to business.
He strode over to the public bathrooms and pushed open the door.
Stepping inside, he flicked outwards with his mind at the two other people in the stalls, instilling a sudden urge to leave in their minds. He stood aside as they hurried out, and nudged the sturdy trashcan in front of the door to block it before turning towards his quarry.
The boy was at the sinks, washing his hands, his back to Schuldich. Smiling silkily, the German approached slowly, and caught a flash of dark eyes glancing up at him almost nervously from the mirrors.
Then he was on him, turning him to face him with an almost rough yank before crushing his mouth to that of the startled boy's.
Mmmm, he tasted good.
This wasn't going to be such a bad day, after all, he mused, sliding a hand down the front of the boy's pants, laughing quietly at the other's groan.
Not bad at all.

Author's notes: This is a fic I'm doing on Mami-san's request; in return, she's going to write a Nagi/Omi for me. *smirk* I'm not too fond of this couple.. -_-; But oh well.
Ja~ ^^

* Schu is referring to CLAMP's "Magic Knight Rayearth"

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Chapter 2
Chapter 3