The Odd Adventures of Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna

By Lady Grizabella

 

The Slam Of A Bathroom Door! Michiru Snaps

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I was cuddled up with Michiru in bed, naked as the day I was born. Ah, to be with Michiru AND naked. I know I mentioned that I dislike my sailor uniform because it's so short, but it's totally different if Michiru is naked too. Then it's entertaining.

~*~

I guess I'll tell you right now that Michiru was having a very bad day. First off, Hotaru had come over and Michiru had made a large lunch for us to enjoy. Unfortunately, Hotaru went to heat up some soup on the stove and she turned the wrong dial. The lunch which was cooking in the oven promptly burned up and we had to use the fire-extinguisher. Unfortunately, when I squeezed the handle and the foam came out, Michiru was right in the way. She was covered with the foam and had to drop everything to take a shower. Therefore, she was walking around in a towel when the doorbell rang. Unfortunately, none of us were anywhere near the door, and didn't hear the ring, and didn't hear Michiru screaming like a maniac, so she had to answer it herself in her towel. Unfortunately, the Inners, complete with Mamoru, were standing there and they all gawked at her. She graciously let them in and told them that she'd just get dressed if they didn't mind, when, unfortunately, Chibi-Usa tripped and flew into her, pulling away the towel. I'd never heard Michiru scream so loud as she dove into our room. Naturally, we heard the scream, but didn't go out to help her, the nice roommates that we are, so Usagi and Minako raided the kitchen while Michiru hid in our bedroom. It was all very...unfortunate.

~*~

And that pretty much brings us to the moment. Once the Inners and Hotaru had gone, I decided to cheer up Michiru in the way I knew best....in the bedroom...before she went and made dinner for her ravenous family. She seemed to enjoy herself, and I was just happy lying there being naked. This didn't last for long though, as I decided to go for Round Two. I had just rolled over to kiss Michiru when the door flew open, and there was Setsuna, every hair out of place and dark smudges on her cheeks. Michiru shrieked in surprise and pulled the sheet up over her chest, but I just stared at Setsuna. This was...odd. She usually wouldn't come within a mile of our bedroom when she knew we were "playing".

Setsuna cleared her throat and crossed her arms with irritation. "I just thought you'd like to know, the microwave has exploded. I'll be in my room." She stomped out, slamming the door behind her.

I looked at Michiru. "Well, that was unexpected."

Michiru's face was bright red. "That's it! I have HAD it!"

I jumped back, terrified. "What do you mean?"

She scrambled out of bed, pulling the sheet with her, threw open the door, and ran across the hall into the bathroom. I heard the door slam and the lock click. "Oh, great! Michiru!" I headed out of the room, still bum-naked, and pounded on the door. "Open this door, Michiru! You can't just lock yourself in the bathroom over a microwave!"

"It's not just the microwave!" she howled. "I want to know why I have to do everything around here? Why can't you and Setsuna get your sorry tails in gear and do something for once! It's not like you have jobs or anything yet!"

"Please open the door? We'll be more helpful, I promise. Please come out?"

"No! I'm staying in here away from the chaos that is my life!"

She was being terribly overdramatic. But I knew she was really mad this time. It was perfectly natural for Michiru to get mad at me, but she'd never locked herself in the bathroom before. I figured she must have snapped. "Michi-Love...open the door please."

"No!"

Setsuna's voice came from behind her closed door. "Haruka, will you please get dressed so I can come out?"

I realized I was still naked. "Um...yes."

~*~

A half an hour later, Setsuna and I were lounging on the couch with little notion of what to do. "I could go get some of my power tools, take the door down, and pull her on out of there." I suggested.

"Better leave her," said Setsuna. "She won't appreciate you coming in after her. You did spray her with that foam and you refused to get the door when the Inners came over."

"You blew up the microwave," I countered.

She nodded. "Yes. Yes, I did. So it's not safe for either of us to approach her."

I nodded and took to staring at the TV again.

Not five minutes later, Setsuna told me what I had been expecting to hear since Michiru locked herself in the bathroom. "Haruka...I really have to use the bathroom."

I looked toward the ceiling. "I figured as much." Setsuna had the most overactive bladder I had ever seen. I don't know how she managed to make it through so many battles. During the final battle with Galaxia, I was almost expecting her to say: 'Excuse me Galaxia, but before my friends take my Star Seed in a pathetic attempt to defeat you that won't work, but will sure put me through emotional hell since they're supposed to love me, may I use your bathroom?' Let's just say it's hard to take Setsuna on long car trips.

She flushed with embarrassment. "I'm sorry...it's not like I can help it."

I smiled. "I understand. I kind of have to go too." I stood up and wandered down the hall. I knocked gently on the bathroom door. "Michiru...sorry to bother you, but Setsuna really has to use the bathroom."

Silence.

"We're really sorry, but you know she has to go every hour!"

More silence. I was feeling bad for Michiru, who had snapped, but I was getting irritated all the same. "Fine, be that way!" I stalked back into the living room and smiled at Setsuna. "Don't worry, we'll find you a bathroom." I took Setsuna's hand and called out, "I'm taking Setsuna to find a bathroom. We'll be back soon. Enjoy yourself in there!"

 

~*~

The closest place I could think of to go was Makoto's house. I knocked on the brunette's door and gave her a cheesy smile once she opened, very surprised. We had never visited her alone, and I realized it must be a big shock. After all, Haruka Tenoh and Setsuna Meioh didn't visit people everyday. "Hi Makoto. How are you?"

She quirked an eyebrow. "I'm fine. What can I do for you?"

I put an arm around Setsuna and drew her forward. Her face couldn't have been any redder. "Actually...could we use your bathroom?"

I have to give Makoto credit, she didn't laugh or tease us at all. She just smiled and said: "Come on in. It's down the hall to the right."

Since Setsuna was practically dancing, I let her go first, and I helped Makoto make some lemonade. Setsuna and I stayed there for about half an hour, not really wanting to go home, but by the time we did leave (after using the bathroom again for good measure), we were both feeling better about things.

"You know what, Setsuna? I helped Makoto make some lemonade and it really wasn't that bad. We should help out more. If we tell Michiru this, maybe she'll come out of the bathroom."

Setsuna was a lot perkier now that she'd used the bathroom, and she was sitting up in the front seat next to me, gazing at the nearby ocean with interest. I had tied her hair back with a ribbon to keep those wacky strands of hers out of her face. "I think we should make dinner. That might make her happy."

I blanched. "Dinner? I've never made something as complex as dinner."

Setsuna looked at me cheerfully. "Oh, no, it's really easy. I'll show you when we get home."

~*~

It turned out that Setsuna's idea of making dinner really was easy. Too easy. "So how do we make dinner?" I asked her again, standing in the middle of the kitchen, A.K.A. Michiru's Domain.

She opened a cupboard and helpfully pulled out one of those cans of processed spaghetti she loved so much. "Take can. Open can and dump in pan. Heat up. Put in bowl. Dinner." She nodded and handed it to me.

I took it and looked at it distastefully. "Michiru will never eat this stuff. Come to think of it, I won't either. I like those big dinners Michiru makes with meat and vegetables and desert."

Setsuna's face took on a dark look. "Oh."

I sweatdropped. "I'll make this for you though, if you want." Setsuna was a surprisingly picky eater.

"Don't bother," she grumbled. I had spoiled her big dinner plans.

"Why don't we make something you and Michiru both like? Like homemade macaroni and cheese."

She mulled this over. "I guess that might be all right."

"Good." We went to work. "Setsuna, get out some cheese from the fridge. I'll boil some water and cook the macaroni."

She pulled open the fridge door. "Don't you think you should find a recipe?"

I scoffed. "Nah, who needs a recipe?"

"How do you know how to make it, then?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sweetie, any moron could make macaroni and cheese."

She fiddled with the cheese grater. "I have the feeling you'll be eating those words instead of dinner..."

"I see you have a lot of faith in me." I filled up a pan with water and put it on full heat. "Don't worry, Setsuna. This will be fun. You grate the cheese and I'll go tell Michiru that dinner will be ready soon. I assume she's still in the bathroom."

I left Setsuna grating her poor knuckles on the cheese grater in favor of cheering up Michiru. I knocked on the bathroom door. "Hi Love, we're home, and we have a surprise for you."

There was silence for several moments before a voice cautiously asked, "What is it?"

"We're making dinner!" I exclaimed proudly.

The door opened a bit and Michiru's red-rimmed eyes peered out at me. "Are you serious?"

"Yes. Setsuna's working on it right now. We're very excited about it. Just leave everything to us and I'll let you know when it's ready."

A scream suddenly erupted from the kitchen. "HARUKA!!"

Michiru shut the door with a bang. "I'm not coming out! I don't even want to know!"

I had taken off at a dash to find Setsuna standing in the middle of the kitchen, wringing her hands, screaming at the pot of water which was cheerfully boiling over all over the top of the stove. "Yikes, I think it's done!" I managed to turn the heat down and pick up the box of macaroni. "Are you all right? You didn't burn yourself, did you?"

Setsuna shook her head. "I'm sorry. Are you mad?"

I smiled. "It's only water. And itís easy to panic when that happens." I dumped a mass quantity of pasta into the now half-empty pan and brushed my hands together.

"Isn't that a lot?" Setsuna asked.

I looked in the pan. "Not really."

Setsuna muttered under her breath as she hunted for a casserole dish. "I think it's a lot."

I stood around waiting for the noodles to cook. I began to tap my foot and drum my fingers on the counter top. "These cook too slow!" I complained. I looked at Setsuna who was searching for popsicles in the freezer. "Hey! Don't spoil your dinner!"

"Yes, Michiru-Mama." She grinned evilly.

I narrowed my eyes. "Very funny." I looked back to the pasta. "Arg, this takes forever! Let's go watch TV while we wait."

Setsuna shrugged. "Okay." We settled ourselves on the couch and turned on a silly Japanese game show to wait for the pasta to cook.

Forty-five minutes later, I was screaming at the TV. "Uranus! The seventh planet from the sun is URANUS! Idiots!!"

Setsuna managed to take her eyes off me, intense as I was, and looked towards the kitchen. "Do you think the pasta is done yet?"

"I don't know, let's go see."

Needless to say, it was the most well-done pasta ever. It wasn't even pasta anymore. It was more like pasta afterthought, seeing as how it had mostly melted into unidentifiable blobs. My helpful streak was waning as I stepped on stray pieces of pasta that had overflowed out of the pan and landed on the tile. Cheese lay all over the counter top and some had been brushed on the floor. "Well, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs." I was suddenly having a Minako moment, not sure if that phrase applied to the situation. I took another look at the macaroni substance. "Hmmm. Well, we'll just have to hope Michiru doesn't look too hard. Let's just dump this mass into the casserole dish, throw the cheese on top, and shove it in the oven. Let's get this over with."

Setsuna didn't argue, even though she didn't look like she wanted to touch it. She just spread the cheese over the top and got out some salt and pepper. "It should at least be seasoned."

"Agreed." I took the salt and Setsuna took the pepper. We went to open the containers, but the tops were stuck on. "My top is stuck. What about yours?"

"Mmmh. Tight on! It won't budge."

"Well, I'm not going to stand for this!" I started to smack the salt container against the counter top, hoping to shake something loose, and Setsuna followed suit. On the tenth try, the tops exploded with a massive pop and salt and pepper flew all around the kitchen. "AHHH!" I yelled.

"AHHH!" answered Setsuna. We coughed for a bit as the pepper settled right in our noses and all over the counters and floor.

"That was not good," I said, as I gathered some salt and pepper mixture into my hands and threw it in the casserole. "But at least we got it open."

"This place is a mess!" Setsuna took the dish and popped it in the oven. She stared in through the glass window of the oven, and then she looked at me. "I'm not eating this."

I picked up Michiru's wooden spoon and shook it at her. "Oh yes you are! I slaved all day over a hot stove, and you're going to eat my dinner, young lady!"

Setsuna seemed amused. "You do know I'm over two thousand years old, right?"

I shrugged. "Makes no difference. As long as you live under my roof, you're eating my dinner!" The spoon then flew out of my hand and smacked Setsuna in the head before clattering to the floor to take its place in the salt and pepper mess.

"Oww!"

I crossed my arms. "See? I've made my point."

~*~

Once we set the table and lit some candles, the cheese was fully melted and I proclaimed dinner done. "Michiru, Love! Come to the table!"

The bathroom door opened slowly and Michiru cautiously looked out. "Is it safe?"

"Perfectly safe. It looks delicious too!" I shot a look at Setsuna who was gazing at the dish in revulsion. "Doesn't it, Setsuna?"

She grimaced. "Mmmm!" she managed to cough out.

Clad in a bathrobe, Michiru hesitantly came to the table and sat down. "Haruka...what is that?" Setsuna had just placed a plate with the stuff on it in front of her.

I gave her an innocent look. "It's macaroni and cheese, just like you make."

She poked at the substance. "Well, there's macaroni and cheese in it, but it kind of looks like it's just macaroni and cheese. There are more ingredients..." She looked up at our hopeful faces and immediately realized we had truly wanted to please her. "What I mean to say is, it looks delicious."

Setsuna and I grinned happily at each other. We had won Michiru over.

~*~

As for the macaroni and cheese...it was pretty bad stuff. I don't believe Michiru managed to get down as much as she did. Setsuna made an effort too, even though I know she would rather have made that spaghetti. I was ready to try it too at that point after my big mac'n'cheese failure. But Michiru seemed happy and calm, which was the important thing.

When we were done pretending to eat, Michiru approached me and kissed my cheek and then Setsuna's. "Thank you both for trying to cheer me up. I love you very much. Since you worked so hard on dinner, I'll go do the dishes."

Setsuna suddenly jumped. "Michi...I wouldn't..."

Michiru screamed upon entering her domain. "OH MY GOD!!!" She turned right around and stomped back to the bathroom, yelling as she went. "Haruka Tenoh! Don't even think about relaxing until you've cleaned up that kitchen!"

"Aw, shoot." I moped.

As the bathroom door slammed, Setsuna looked up at me with guilty eyes. "Haruka...I think I need to go to the bathroom again....."

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