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JUST TWO RIGHT NOW BUT MORE ARE COMING
Twelve hours after Shen Long granted a baleful wish, a wish that Goku
and Vegeta's ten most powerful dead enemies be returned to life for a
single night to defeat them, there were those who were less than
satisfied with the wish's outcome...
In Hell, a delighted Raditz found a thoroughly miserable Jiisu. The
orange-skinned dandy leaned his head in his hands, and muttered to
himself, "I will not start a fight with Vegeta. I will not start a
fight with Vegeta. Never, never, never again will I start a fight with
Vegeta.."
"Well, maybe his learning curve isn't totally flat," Raditz said to
himself. Then he yelled gleefully in Jiisu's ear. "HEY! HOW DOES IT
FEEL TO BE A COMPLETE MORON??"
"Why me?" Jiisu moaned. He raised his head from his hands and glared
at Raditz. "Go away. Just go the hell away."
"Now, why would I want to do that? It's way too much fun to kick
idiots when they're down! So, tell me, Jiisu--did you really think
Vegeta had gotten any weaker since he kicked your butt and sent you to
Hell the first time?"
"There were six of us.." Jiisu muttered. Under his breath he added,
"there were supposed to be ten of us."
"What's that, Jiisu?" Raditz smirked unpleasantly.
"THERE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE TEN OF US AGAINST THE TWO OF THEM, YOU
BASTARD!" Jiisu leaped to his feet, tossing his long white hair
back. "No one told us it was going to be seven against five, and that
stupid cyborg no help at all! You betrayed us, you son-of-a-bitch!"
"Betrayed YOU?? What in all the hells made you think I was ever with
you??" Raditz snarled in Jiisu's face. "Did Vegeta flash-fry your mind
along with your body? Vegeta is our PRINCE, you moron--I was his
bodyguard, and Nappa was his army commander--he may have his own
quarrel with Vegeta, but it's not for outsiders like you to get
involved with!"
Jiisu said bitterly, "And the other Saiyan, Goku? I thought he killed
you! Why were you helping him?"
Raditz laughed. "You didn't know? You poor bastard! Kakarott--Goku, as
he insists on calling himself--is my little brother!" The long-haired
Saiyan shrugged. "We had a little misunderstanding back on Earth,
but.. that's been straightened out."
Jiisu stared at him, dumbfounded. "Your BROTHER! Oh, gods.." He buried
his face in his hands; his voice was muffled. "You Saiyans are all
crazy. First you kill each other, then you fight for each other!"
Raditz looked at the ex-Ginyu quizzically. "Um, yeah. That's
traditional, though it usually stopped short of death--it used to be
kinda difficult to fight for someone if you were dead." He
shrugged. "We like to fight, and fighting other Saiyans is the
best--you know where you stand, whether it's a grudge fight to the
death, or beating the crap out of each other just for fun!" He leaned
against the wall. "I'll let you in on a little secret, Jiisu, 'cause
I'm such a nice guy--with other Saiyajin, it's for fun 90% of the
time, no matter how vicious it looks. 'Course, our fun is rougher than
most people's total war--and accidents happen." He smirked.
"And with non-Saiyajin?" Jiisu asked cautiously.
Raditz smiled coldly. "Almost never for fun. That was your
mistake--and Zarbon's. At least Zarbon knew better the second time
around." He cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. "I think you've
made more mistakes than that--how DID you manage to get yourself
killed by the same guy in exactly the same way all over again? Are
you practicing until you get it right, or what?"
"Damn you! Just shut up, Raditz!" The orange ex-Ginyu snapped his fist
forward in a strike at the annoying Saiyan's mid-section--only to have
Raditz catch his fist and stop him cold.
"Don't." Raditz grinned wolfishly. "On Earth or on Namek, you'd have
me for lunch and be looking around for the main course still--but
here, I'm stronger than you."
Jiisu collapsed back to where he'd been sitting when Raditz found
him. "Why me? This place makes no sense! I'm a--I WAS a Ginyu! The
toughest, baddest warriors in the galaxy, mate! But then your brother
with the funny name, Goku, defeats me and takes on CAPTAIN GINYU in an
even fight, and Vegeta--VEGETA!--another lousy Saiyan, defeats
me--KILLS me, and I'm dead, and we all wind up on that weird little
planet, and a bunch of yahoos from EARTH--humans, weak, wimpy humans
BEAT US! And now I'm down here in Hell, and a bunch of Saiyans, who
would have been speed-bumps before, are stronger than me! This really
sucks, mate!"
Raditz smirked. "Welcome to Hell, Jiisu! Congratulations, bright boy;
you finally noticed--this place sucks!" He started to walk away, and
suddenly stopped and spun around. "Guess what? It's supposed to! We
didn't get sent here as a reward, or hadn't you figured that out yet?"
"Why me?" Jiisu wailed.
Raditz looked vaguely thoughtful. "Because you're a murderous little
self-centered bastard, and you're dead?" The tall Saiyan shook his
head mockingly. "Nah, that couldn't be it. Too obvious."
"No." Jiisu gritted his teeth. "Why are YOU bothering me?"
"It's fun, and I'm an obnoxious bastard--and you are an idiot. Of
course, that makes insulting you rather like shooting fish in a
barrel--way too easy a target, and you thrash around excessively
whenever you get hit." Raditz frowned slightly. "You're so
predictable. Push your hot buttons, and your pretty-boy face turns all
red and you jump into the fight--no matter how stupid. Vegeta didn't
even have to push your buttons to goad you to fight him the second
time--you'd already pushed them yourself, moron." Raditz turned on his
heel and walked away.
For a few minutes all Jiisu thought of was how glad he was that his
tormentor had finally left him alone. Then he slowly realized that
for all of Raditz's sarcasm and obnoxiousness, everything the Saiyan
had said was true. And he had brought it all on himself. With a sob
of despair, he buried his face in his hands again.
story 2 * * *
Somewhere on Earth, a tiny man watched with growing dismay the battle
that had unfolded on the tapes from his spy cameras.
"NO, NO, No!" he screamed. "You were supposed to gang up on Goku and
the other guy and kill them! You're supposed to be their enemies! They
killed you! You're supposed to kill them for revenge, you imbeciles!"
The spy cameras didn't pick up everything, and the audio was
particularly poor, but the little man heard enough. "Little brother",
the long-haired villain called Goku. "Prince", he called the other
hero. "No one kills Vegeta" the big ugly bald villain yelled about the
same hero. The tiny man couldn't hear the blue guy's speech, but he
saw enough.
"No, no, no! I finally get the dragonballs, and I thought, if I get
rid of my worst enemies, I'll be able to collect them and make a wish
every year, until I've made all the wishes I want, because there would
be no one to stop me, ever again! I could have wished for immortality!
I could have wished to be a king, or Emperor of the Earth! I had the
perfect plan! WHY ME?" he wailed in impotent rage.
THE END
