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Open Adoption vs. Closed Adoption (vs. keeping natural families intact)
Offering a vulnerable naive parent only two "options" - open adoption or closed adoption - may get more babies for adopters, but is it really right to limit parents' choices?
"I read part of your unplanned pregnancy website and I agree that open adoption is bad," a woman wrote to me from a Pro-Life organization.
I found her comment interesting. Yes open adoption can mean intense suffering and the way that "open adoption" is used to lure pregnant moms into surrendering their babies is horrendous. But, presumably the woman who wrote to me still intends to separate families and collect donations and payments for "adoption services" (profitting off babies). But she wants to do it in a way that the people who adopt won't have to know of the suffering of the moms (and sometimes dads, siblings and grandparents) they have used as baby-making machines. Perhaps she missed the part about the effects of adoption on mothers and the effects of adoption on babies in closed adoptions? Perhaps she missed this not-so-very-happy "adoption story" - just one of many closed adoption stories.
Surely there are adopters who were also naive - people hoping to find a baby to adopt, but not thinking about how babies have mothers, grandparents, siblings who will miss them. The baby brokers (adoption agencies, adoption lawyers, adoption "counselors") surely aren't going to mention the techniques they use to get babies. Instead they say the moms just aren't "ready to parent". "Ready to parent"? What is THAT phrase all about? The moms ARE their child's parent - and so are the dads.
What are the techniques used to get babies for adoption?
First, advertise the "adoption option" until people truly believe that unrelated caregivers are preferable to a child's own family."Which is better - open adoption or closed adoption?" is a question that deflects from the real questions: Considering the effects of adoption on natural families, why are parents' options being limited to only legalized baby abandonment? Offering a vulnerable naive parent only two options - open adoption or closed adoption - may get more babies for adopters, but separating families to get babies for adoption is a tragedy.
Second, develop a lexicon to support this rediculous idea and call it "respectful adoption language". ("Respectful"? Their objective is to get babies, so of course they don't mention that the "adoption language" DISRESPECTS natural families.)
Third, Infant Adoption Awareness Training (IAATP) to get a pregnant mom surrounded by people who will "think adoption".
Fourth, Limit a woman's "choices" to adoption or abortion. Get churches involved in separating families and call this activity "pro-life". Get people chattering mindlessly about "human dignity" while they separate moms and babies and make grandmothers regret that they did not stop it in time.
Fifth, Choose Life License Plates - with proceeds going ONLY toward "adoption services" - services which are designed to get more babies for people to use "as if" they were born to them.
Sixth, Baby Safe Havens - again offering a scared mom no "option" other than baby abandonment .
Seventh, get moms to believe they have already "choosen adoption" and encourage them to select prospective adopters long before they have a chance to think, before they have any way of knowing what they are choosing. Ensure moms will feel beholden to the seemingly friendly prospective adopters and not want to disappoint them by keeping their own sons and daughters.
Eighth, ...
Obviously I could go on with this thought process for a long time...adding things like denying parents the information they would need to make an informed choice, denying fathers rights, denying a child's right to her own family. Spreading rumors and generating myths that young mothers and single mothers are bad mothers. Playing a game of "divide and conquer" pitting mothers and fathers against each other and grandparents against their pregnant daughter or son.
-- from Open Adoption in Open Adoption blog
Updated: Sunday, 29 May 2005 11:38 AM EDT
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