not what i expected
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: not a dam thing
Topic: dazed & confused
why cant i see whats in front of me evrything is such a mystery.now what am i to do cant believe its come to this me not in a sexual bliss....wow how did that happen? i dont feel like its going to be different somewhere down the line ....i believe things will stay the same as far as how you see things and how i see things. we are so not with each other on almost every level that its strange to me how we manage to stay together well how i seem to stick around after living with you as long as i have and getting to know you.i guess i just got attached and well i am tooken care of well here with you and maybe you do love me i know you do love me but you are not in love with me and who i am or maybe i am wrong and what you tell is really how it is .....like you explain to me time after time you simply are not a effectionate person you tend to see thing just as they are and no deeper than your eyes can see you view things quite different than i, and if you ask me you are a bit too blunt and i nsensative tooo everything.this is not what i am use to or more like the type of relationship that i want and need you are not able to provide and it is becoming a big dissappointment to me i have completely died inside and a new me was born a transformed me a me that was created from us and how you are twards me and how we get along and i dont like the new me i am soooo hungry for the attention i always thought i would get from any guy i was with but i ran into somrthing unexpectidly a guy who dont like to have sex all night a guy who doesnt trip on being around me and wanting to explore my body mind and soul very practical too practical.it really sucks cause he good to me and i know he wont mess around on me he has good standards and is from a very nice family that i reallly like and have got use to the family thing around here is something i really needed and wanted for the longest it is what keeps me sane i believe just to be part of a normal good loving family well im getting sick of typing all this just let me put it like this i am way dissappointed in how things have got in our relationship you are not what i thought you would be i know i should of not expected anything you love someone for who they are not for who you want them to be or try to make them but i swear i never expected to run into a guy who doest know how or care to know the slutty in me or any female you just dont know how to see the really beauty that skin deep !......................we'll see how this goes further down this bumpy dirt road!