C H I L D O F F A T E Buffy Summers is the Vampire Slayer; the Chosen One who must fight for humanity in the eternal war against the evil forces of the dark that are bent upon conquering the earth. She's also a teenage girl whose prime concerns include deciding how to wear her hair, what excuse to give her teacher for failing to do her homework, and how to convince her mother to let her drive. The Normal Life thing v Slayer-being Buffy's most heartfelt wish is for a 'normal life'. This has been the catch phrase of the whole series, and no doubt many are tiring of this routine. (I know I am - woops! Sorry, couldn't resist. OK, back to neutral me.) From the very beginning, Buffy has tried to fit into her role as teenage girl, trying out for the cheerleading team (The Witch, s1), wanting to go dating (Never Kill a Boy on the First Date, s1), competing for Homecoming queen (Homecoming). Only problem: she's the Slayer. In the pilot, we see young Buffy trying to hide from her identity, deliberately denying her Slayerhood to Giles, and herself. But in that same episode, the thing that triggered her Slayerness was the same thing that will always keep her a Slayer - her need to protect the innocent. Even back then, she displayed tremendous concern for the safety of her friends and Giles (Never Kill a Boy). Initially, it was a concern based on duty (as the Slayer), and her protector characteristic. Now, this concern is much stronger because it is one based on love. Love for her friends and family and lover. She is no longer as business-like when it comes to the safety of her loved ones (Choices - heated concern over Willow's kidnapping). In season one, Buffy was a confident yet nonchalant Slayer. Having never been personally faced with true evil, she was still an innocent child at heart. Thus she plays the immature wisecracking teenager who, albeit talented and powerful, is more worried about breaking a nail than staking a vamp. In season two, this all changes. Granted, she still has a bitter resentment of her Slayer title because it prevents her from having a normal life (career day, WML1). However, Kendra shows her that being a Slayer is not a job - it's a gift. But most importantly, after Angel's transformation, her world mutates into anything but normal, and she emerges stronger than ever. Becoming The Becoming of Angel into Angelus had a tremendous, traumatic impact on the Slayer. In one night, her Innocence was snuffed like a candle. From the very first, Buffy went into Slayer-mode with regards to Angelus - he was evil, she was good - she knew the deal and she knew she had to deal. (Innocence, Angelus' attempt to kill Willow in the school corridor). However in practice, coming to grips with the loss of her lover was an arduous, emotional experience for Buffy. Despite her stoicism, she never stopped loving Angel, or harbouring hope that they would reunite as lovers (IOHEFY). And indeed, he never stopped obsessing about her (Passion). Ironic then, that the moment when they were finally brought together, was the same moment when they are forced to separate (Becoming II, 'Close your eyes'). "Becoming" (pt 1 and 2) signalled a turning point in Buffy's evolution as a character. From that experience onwards, she would never be the same person again. After a horrendous week (saving the world, losing a friend, being chased by the police, revealing all to her mother, allying with her immortal enemy, saving her mentor, leaving home, almost getting killed, reuniting with her long lost love, killing that same long lost love .), Buffy was left completely drained of emotion. The only thing she could bring herself to do was push away the pain and escape. She needed to leave in order to realise that she wanted to return. In the end to her credit, she emerged a far stronger and independent individual from her struggles. It also made her harder. The Great Escape In "Anne" we see a much more independent and solitary Buffy. Having run away from home and friends so that she need not be a burden to anybody, Buffy tastes the bitterness that the Real World can afford. Adopting the tag "Anne", the Slayer tries once more to escape her Destiny-determined identity. She needs the solitude that anonymity brings in order to reflect on events past, assess her self-identity and feel a whole lotta guilt. I'm guessin for most of her time away, Buffy was feeling pretty lost and guilty, and by hiding in the cloak of unknowness, by hiding from the bumps at night, she was trying to forget the awful past, numbly wandering the dark streets without having to be on duty. The duty she feels she has failed in. By escaping Sunnydale, Buffy wanted to dislocate herself from the memories, the guilt, the reality of her actions. But yet again, she is pulled back to her life as the Slayer because duty and protection are in her blood. She cannot escape her identity, and she realises eventually that she no longer wants to deny who she is. Internalising: Although at face value, Buffy seems to be simply a 2D charicature of a superhuman teen, if we examine her closer, we may (if we put on our rose-coloured glasses) find layers of interesting depths. Indeed, the reason why she appears so simple to understand is because she internalises her emotions; either expressing them for her eyes only while feigning normalcy (Innocence, crying on her bed), or by pushing away those emotions and the people around her (even us) (WSWB, post-Becoming2, running away). This unwillingness of her character to trust others with the secrets of her heart has been developing so that we see the Slayer slowly starting to open up. In early season one, Buffy was very cold towards Giles, and although she did let Will and Xander in on her Slayer secret, her professionalism always dictated that she take the brunt of burden on her stronger shoulders, and not put the innocent at risk. In WSWB (season two), Buffy deals with her fears by alienating the people she cares about so that they can be safe. In the end, she breaks down in Angel's arms, the man she is learning to trust as well as love. Although the Scooby Gang is well and truly established by season two and the three are very close, Innocence indicates Buffy's emotional isolation when it comes to serious issues. It is in poignant moments such as the one where she crawls crying in bed after her stoic confrontation with the newly turned Angelus, that we understand how the pressures of Destiny affect this young girl. She is used to secrets and hiding her feelings - she does so from her mother constantly. She has done all her life, even during her parents' rocky marriage, crying in her room alone. She has lost a Watcher, she has lost innocent people, she has lost a lover, she will be strong. She is the Slayer. Season three sees the breaking down of some of those emotional barriers. Perhaps her summer alone awakened in Buffy the realisation of how important her relationships are, or perhaps Faith's demise signalled to her a warning of the Consequences of relying solely upon oneself, especially as a Slayer. Whatever the case, Buffy has become increasingly dependent on the emotional support. This time when Angel leaves her (The Prom), instead of crying in isolation, she seeks the shoulder of Willow. Indeed, she and Willow become much closer throughout the season because of their mutual guy problems and fight for Good (Choices). With Angel however, she remains guarded, having had the experience of heartbreak too many times already. For instance, when her jealousy of Faith stirs after Enemies, she shuts Angel off from her life, unable to deal with the hurt. Again after The Prom, she causes tension in their relationship after their break-up because she is unable to cope with his presence in her life. She is one who would rather ignore her feelings than confront them. Buffy and the Gang Although the gang was resentful towards Buffy for abandoning them, their friendship holds strong as always. Indeed, Buffy is the powerful Slayer of today because of her friends (The Wish). They anchor her in the above-world and keep her sane. Buffy and Willow's relationship has become progressively more equal as the series has developed. In season one, Buffy was the admired leader, giving Will tips on how to be cool and woo the guys (The Harvest, Halloween). But by Season three, Willow has a boyfriend and magical powers, and is thus apt to fulfil a more significant role in the Scooby gang. Any doubts as to her place in Buffy's life, especially with the threat of Faith (Bad Girls), are dispelled in Choices, where we see the lovely bond shared by the two friends. Buffy and Xander have certainly had their ups and downs. For a long time (and perhaps even still), Xander was infatuated with the Buffster, and jealousy was of the big for Xand man regarding Angel. Indeed, as with Faith, Angel has been the contentious issue in B&X's relationship. Xander has never trusted nor liked Brood Guy much, and he has strongly argued against Buffy's connection with the vampire (Revelations, Becoming). Still, Buffy and Xander have a sweet friendship and have experienced much together. As he displayed in Innocence, when he was prepared to go look for Buffy when no one else was willing, Xander is a most loyal friend. Buffy and Faith: In the beginning, Buffy felt threatened by Faith because she was taking over as the Sunnydale Slayer. But slowly a friendship formed. Let it be noted though, that the contentious issue throughout their entire relationship, was Angel. From the first mention of the vampire, Faith was guarded and suspicious, ready to kill Angelus at first sight. Indeed, it is when Buffy chooses the vampire over her sister Slayer, that the first big rift between them forms (Revelations). Later, the two start bonding as Slayers (Bad Girls), and Faith shows Buffy the dangerous, dark side of herself that she has thus far been afraid to explore. Unfortunately, things go bad when Faith kills a human. Buffy's guilt-stricken reaction sets her apart as the good, responsible one, and Faith immediately steps into the little sister role; denying, blaming, and refusing the feel guilty for her actions. As the elder one, Buffy feels compelled to 'save' Faith, but by then it is too late. Faith has crossed to the dark side, propelled by her distrust of others and jealousy of the only friend she ever had, Buffy. In the end, Buffy must fight to the (almost) death against her former comrade (Graduation 2), once again choosing Angel over Faith. Buffy and Angel This relationship has taken several spins and crashes throughout the series, all with their fill of angst and passion. Season One: Angel is the unknown older man, and Buffy in her teenage girl capacity, is lovestruck. Oblivious to the fact that Angel is completely besotted by her, Buffy's infatuation with the cryptic guy perhaps displays the emotional immaturity of a girl who can only see what she wants to. Season Two: After having decided to give their relationship a go, the two enjoy half a season of smooch (and rather puke-worthy, ifya ask me - woops!) bliss. Enter dramatic irony. Of course, on the fateful night that they decide to consummate their relationship, Angel transforms into his inner demon, and violence and angst erupt. Their interaction from then on is no longer sweet and romantic, but full of hateful passion. Violence, sexual tension, and darkness encase these two whose fiery hate for each other is only surpassed by their burning love. (OK, OK, so I'm sounding like a fanfic here. You know how Angelus inspires me!) Season Three: With so many unresolved issues between them, Angel and Buffy start this season with much tension and awkwardness. The 'just friends' thing is a dismal failure, and they part ways in Lovers Walk. Only to collide straight back together again, in a whirlwind of ecstasy, fear, angst, and evil (Amends). And just as a great evil brought them together in the very beginning, so it does here again with a Christmas miracle (cheesy factor overridden by the jumping and screaming 'shipper reaction). With Buffy's helping hand, Angel embarks on the journey of living again. And so an angsty relationship rolls, until when the forbidden possibility of happiness rears its annoying head, Angel realises what he should have known from the beginning: he is no good for Buffy. (Or more accurately, she is damn well not good enough for him, but I'm not allowed to go there). Indeed, Buffy has always had dreams of having a normal life with a normal boyfriend (cough - idiot woman! - cough), never fully comprehending the reality that Angel could never fulfil those dreams for her. And never stopping to consider the other wonderful experiences he could offer instead. (What? That wasn't outta bounds). And so, after one last angst and passion-ridden screaming 'shipper encounter (G2, suckage), the two part, each to follow their own paths.