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Brain Fellow: Tracy Morgan

Bill Callahan: Jimmy Fallon

Danny McClain: The Rock 

Brain Fellow: Good evening, and welcome to Brian Fellow's Safari Planet. I'm Brian Fellow! Tonight we are going to meet some animals that are exciting and enjoy a good time, so let's get going! Our first guest enjoys singing and being in a cage. Please welcome a parrot! [Jimmy Fallon walks in with parrot in cage]... and who are you?

Bill Callahan: I'm Bill Callahan from the Wagner Lab of Ornithology in Newport. 

Brian: The What?

Bill: The Wagner Lab of Ornithology in Newport.

Brian: Is that in Newport?

Bill: Yes, yes it is. 

Brian: I'm Brian Fellow!

Bill: Brian, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, uh, he's an Amazon yellow nape that goes by the name of Bailey. What do you  say, Bailey?

Bailey: Hello.

Brian: That bird just talked!

Bill: That's right, the parrot is able to mimic human speech patterns. 

Brian: That's Crazy!

Bailey: Hello.

Brian: He just did it again!

Bill: You know, Bailey and I are big fans of your show, and we worked up a special treat for you. Would you like to see it?

Brian: Would I?

Bill: Hey, pretty bird, hey, pretty bird, who are you?

Bailey: I'm Brian Fellow. 

Brian: That bird is a liar!

Bailey: I'm Brian Fellow. 

Brian: He's startin' to make make me mad- he better shut up!

Bailey: I'm Brian Fellow!

Brian: No You're Not!

Bill- Hey- I- I'm sorry I taught him that- I thought you'd like it. 

Brian: He's an imposter, 'cause I'm Brian Fellow!

Bailey: I'm Brian Fellow! 

Brian: That's it, take him away. This is my show! That bird is not funny and I bet not see him again! [Bill walks away with bird]. Hopefully we can fix this in editing! [Brian waves his finger, long pause]. Our next guest eats crickets and can be seen in a horror movie. Please welcome, a tarantula! [Danny walks in with tarantula in cage]... And who are you?

Danny McClain: I'm Danny McClain and I'm from the exotic animals exhibit at the Detroit Zoo. 

Brian: I'm Brian Fellow!

Danny: Well, Howdy Brian. I want you to meet a friend of mine. This is Quinton. 

Brian: That's one fuzzy bug!

Danny: actually, he's a brown desert tarantula. 

Brian: If I had a bug like that, I'd make a coat out of him!

Danny: [uneasily] Actually, that would be a bad idea because his tiny hairs are an irritant to human skin. 

Brian: ... Did you see that loud mouth bird?

Danny: [confused and shaking his head] yes. 

Brian: I don't know what he told you, but he is not my doppelgangah! 

Danny: w-w- what's a doppelganger? 

Brian: I'm Brian Fellow! 

Danny: Yes, I'm Danny, and we're here talking about m-my tarantula, Quinton. 

Brian: Now, I understand in order to grow a spider must molt. Tell us about that. 

Danny: That's right. That's right, Brian. Like a snake a spider has to shed his skin to grow larger and what happens in the process...

Bailey: [Brian looks to his left at a "thinking bubble" where there is bailey talking on phone] I want a new Panasonic stereo with a tape player and really big speakers and sent to by birdhouse. Send me the bill- I'm Brian Fellow!

Brian: Hang up that phone! [thinking bubble is gone]

Danny: excuse me?

Brian: that bird was tryin' to buy a stereo with my credit card!

Danny: [shaking] 'course he is... now, a- as i was saying, during the molting process the tarantula is extremely vulnerable to prey.

Brian: That bird better prey he don't screw up my credit!

Danny: What are you talking about?

Brian: I'm just gonna get a be-be gun and shoot that bird's eyes out!

Danny: look, look, look, I don't think you have to worry about that bird impersonating you.

Brian: Really?

Danny: Really.

Brian: I guess you're right... [looks again to left at bird on phone]

Bailey: Hello, QVC, this is Brian Fellow. I wanna like to buy a bird cage with bars made of solid gold. My credit card number is 54840...

Brian: Stop It!

Danny: Now what?

Brian: you don't know anything about birds, mister.... Well, we're out of time and I wanna thank that fuzzy bug for comin' in, but not the bird. Join me next week when we will meet a pot- belly pig. That Sounds Crazy! I'm Brain  Fellow!

Bailey: I'm Brian Fellow!

Brian: [getting up and stepping over table] I'm gonna kill that mothah f-.