I got out of the A&E with a bandaged left foot. The nurse who attended to me, Miss Nolan, told me that I was lucky I didn't suffer any broken bones. It had bled a lot though, leaving most of the toes looking rather blue. I was wheeled out, given crutches to be used for at least two weeks and driven back home in silence. No one questioned me because I think I managed to tire them out.
That night, I received a call from Howie. We were to start discussions and plans for the next album in LA and I was to be there in the evening the next day. I figured it was the best of timing since I couldn't stay around in the house long enough before my dad started to question what happened in the garage. That, or BJ decided to spill.
The next day, I was driven to the airport by BJ since I couldn't drive with my hurt foot. I already had it arranged for JIVE to send a driver over to pick me up.
"Why didn't you tell the doctor about your hernia?" BJ asked me while we were on the road. Somehow, I knew that question was coming.
"It was just a minor attack Beej, besides, I don't want them to find out this way."
"It's going to get worst Nick...you have to do that surgery before you start recording again."
"It's just a meeting and then I'm going back home, I'll go for that surgery then, kay?"
She didn't say anything to that, just drove in silence for the rest of the journey. Before I checked in, she broke the silence with a hug and told me that she loved me. I told her I loved her more and she smiled, before whining how 'great' it was that she had a Casanova for a brother. There was no pleasing that girl.
-
My arrival in LA was greeted by a driver by the name of Alfred. Back in the van, I made the important phone call to Dr. Hilal to re-schedule my appointment and surgery and then another call to Aaron. I had been trying his cell phone for ages now but no one seemed to pick it up.
I dialed his number again since I wanted to tell him that I wouldn't be in Florida when he came down in a week. In truth, I would be in Florida, only that I would be in surgery and I couldn't tell him that. This time, someone answered the phone.
"AC?"
And then the engaged tone once again. I dismissed it as a bad connection and decided to try my luck again. This time however, an operator's voice informed me that the number I just dialed could not be reached at the moment. It meant Aaron had switched his cell phone off. I knew then, that he was mad at me.
And I thought my girlfriend was childish.
I decided to let it be at that. I also decided that I should try calling Mandy. I had been thinking for ages now, ways of how I could tell her that I wanted to end the relationship. I saw no other way to it. I had seen the end of the road for the both of us. To me, arguments in a relationship leads the way to better understanding between a couple, but when it became more than that, when the relationship began to build a web of lies, everything became pretentious. I didn't want to be a part of something like that.
I received her voicemail instead so I left a message that we needed to talk when she was free.
That nagging pain in my stomach was back. I felt like yelling at whoever wrote that pamphlet about Hernias. They said I'll only suffer pains from carrying heavy objects or doing strenuous sports and I had done none of those that day. All I did was sit and let myself be driven or flown to where I needed to be. Perhaps it was hunger pangs, I couldn't be too sure. I thought of asking Alfred to stop by one of those kiosk stations so I could grab something to eat but my cell phone decided to ring.
"Yeah?"
"Nick, are you on the way to the hotel?" It was Kevin. No hello or how are you...and he said I needed to be chained down and taught 101 on social etiquette.
"Yeah. Am I late?"
"No...we all are."
"You need to elaborate on that Kevin."
"Meeting with some producers in an hour so you have no time to freshen up. We'll wait for you at the main entrance and head straight for the meeting, how's that?"
"Sure, I'll tell Alfred."
"Who's Alfred?"
"The nice guy who is driving me there right now."
"Oh, okay."
And then it hit me. Stupid. Idiot.
I called Kevin back.
"Hey Kev, get me some food on your way out, I'm hungry." He promised me the meal will come with a bottle of Mountain Dew. I said that promise came with spits of sarcasm.
After telling Alfred of the change in plan, I spent the rest of the drive there trying to catch some sleep, I wouldn't feel the pain if I'm dead to the world.
-
When I finally woke up, which didn't feel that long of a sleep, I found that we were still on the road but this time, I had the rest of the guys riding at the back with me.
"Welcome back to the land of the living, sleepy one." AJ said with a deep growled voice. I don't know who he was trying to imitate then. You know what, I still don't know who he was trying to imitate now.
"Wassup with the crutches bro?" Brian asked.
How do I tell them that I had dropped a hammer on my leg and not sound stupid?
"Dropped a hammer." I muttered.
"On your foot?" Howie asked.
"No, on my chest, that's why my foot's all bandaged up." I retorted.
Kevin actually laughed. We pretty much stared at him.
"What? It's funny."
"Thanks man." I said. Kevin hardly complimented on my jokes. He called them lame.
"You gonna be okay? Does it hurt much?" AJ asked, his face contorted in a grimace. AJ has a habit of actually trying to imagine how it'd feel like if such a thing happened to him. I don't know why he'd put himself in such a situation.
"Not really. It's not broken or anything...I just need it for two weeks." They nodded, end of discussion.
"Hey Nick, I bought a chicken sandwich for ya," Brian smiled and handed me the wrapped food. "after that, you can share my cheese doodles."
"We met the coolest fans at the lobby just now bro," Howie was saying. "they gave us this huge packet with all the wonderful tidbits in it!"
"Yup, I just had a packet of potato chips, sour cream, nice." Kevin said.
"Mine was chilli." Howie said.
"I took the corn chips, it came with a dip, can you believe that!"
My stomach should have growled in hunger by then, but all it did was send more aggravating pain. Perhaps BJ was right after all, this hernia was just going to get worst.
"Thanks man, I'll eat that later."
Kevin frowned, why wasn't anyone surprise? "I went up to the little bar in the hotel and got mobbed and probed by girls your age just to get that sandwich for you."
"I thought Brian bought it for me."
"What he meant to say was he BROUGHT the sandwich for you." Brian was silent for a long time, I wonder why.
"Okay, I'll eat it later, I promise." The guys left me on my own after that, each still busy going through the huge bag of tidbits. The van was filled with different smell of crackers and cheese and I fought with the contents of my stomach not to show it's presence.
"Whose cell phone is making all that irritating noise?" AJ grumbled, breaking the silence that had encompassed the van. Instantaneously, everyone was groping their pockets for their cell phone. I grabbed mine and checked. I had two new messages waiting to be read.
"It's mine...sorry." I muttered. There were soft grumbles and shifting around but I was too engrossed with the messages to make a comment. Cell phone beeping and their whining their asses off, imagine if I had brought Jordan along? Jordan's one of my dogs, not some blonde chick.
The first message was from Mandy.
Busy babe, interviews...call you later k? Love you.
Love me? I didn't even know the meaning to that anymore. Love me but lie to me, it's not wrong. Where did she get that idea from?
The second message was from Aaron.
You're not gonna be in Florida, I know. I understand. Don't call, my batt's low.
Somehow, the way I interpreted that message, it came out all accusatory and sarcastic. I couldn't really blame him now could I? I did lie to him, just like Mandy did to me. If I were mad at her, AC had all the rights to be mad at me. So the hating game began, it went round and round and before we know it, our lives were built from lies and hatred.
I felt drowsy just thinking about it. I needed fresh air, not one that was filled with cheese, chilli and sour cream. I doubt I could get anything done that day, I knew the meeting will have me sitting in a corner, trying my best not to redecorate the room and show some VIPs my stomach content.
But when the very grounds of the highway we were on right then shook and rumbled, followed by a spectacular display of explosion and fireworks later, throwing up was the last thing on my mind.
Chapter 13
I heard the explosion first before I saw it. I felt it boom from the ground beneath us, it felt like the van was lifted up a few inches before it dropped. For people like Kevin and I who were unlucky enough to be too tall, hit the roof that would put any migraine to shame. Then the screeching of vehicles, our van included, screamed in my ears, along with the alarming sound of horns being pressed and cries of shocked drivers and passengers alike.
Loud crashing was heard everywhere, it was like mayhem. Then the panic of realizing that our van was about to end in the same fate. It happened too fast, like in one of those car chasing scenes you watch in the movies. We hit the rear of what looked like a car. As if that wasn't shocking enough, a truck hit us from the back. Never had I been so thankful for wearing my seatbelt then.
And then I saw the explosion.
A huge ball of fire from a distance, rising up in the air, sending a heat wave in our direction. I had no time to think or react, another ball of fire burst in mid air and then the awful splattering sound of crashed metals and bent steel were heard. I heard distinctly, a woman's scream that followed the explosion. It was a scream of pure, helpless pain.
"Nick, come on, we have to get out!" Kevin yelled, he was already pulling at my arm, yanking me back to reality. From the little window, I could see men, women and children rushing out of their vehicles, some were down right panicking while others walked around in a daze.
I didn't want to be out there. I felt totally safe in the van.
"This van might explode Nick, come on, we have to get out."
But then again, I can feel safe out there too.
The guys were already waiting for us out in the open, along with Alfred. The fear in their eyes didn't calm me any. Our faces were smeared with black soot, our hair looked like we had just came back from the dead.
"Are you all right?" Brian asked as he passed me my crutches. I took it from him, told him I'm okay and then realized I was shaking. It wasn't long before I noticed that we all were.
"Anybody hurt?" Kevin asked.
I looked at AJ, expecting him to say something witty in return but he was as nervous as any of us. He was bleeding slightly on the head and at the sight of his blood, my stomach cramped. That had to hurt. Howie was massaging the back of his neck while Brian was loosening the muscles in his legs as if he was ready to start a sprint in the Olympics. Kevin had a nasty bump on his forehead while Alfred still couldn't believe that he didn't suffer any serious injuries after the crash.
"You're bleeding J." I said, pointing towards his forehead. He touched the tender spot and winced.
"Shit."
"I'm okay, just a little sore, you guys?" Howie asked.
Brian muttered what sounded like 'okay' too, while Kevin nodded. I was thankful, we had all escaped pretty much unhurt. Imagine if we were caught in a serious one, Lord, we could have died. I wouldn't want us to end that way, we still have so much to give.
"Damn...look at this...it's like..." I turned to look at what Kevin was trying to say and saw a scene of destruction like no other. Vehicle pile ups stretched the entire highway. Crashed vans, cars, trucks...people running around in panic, some were trapped in their vehicles, crying for help. A few meters up, the cause of the explosion was finally revealed.
A huge truck carrying crude oil had crashed into another vehicle, causing the huge explosion and thick smoke. The smell of thick, black, burnt oil was slowly reaching us. I doubt the driver of that truck and the vehicle it collided into survived the ordeal.
"I'm going to see if anybody needs any help," Kevin said. "Alfred, could you try calling for help?"
Alfred, he seemed to be in his mid thirties, needed no second instructions, he was dialing his cell phone like crazy.
"We can all help out, just don't go too far out, I think the smoke will reach us any time now, we need to get people as far away from it." Howie said.
"It might explode again." AJ added. I felt like telling him to shut up unless he had something nice to say.
"Nick, I think it's good if you stay here with Alfred, you're not gonna help much with those crutches." Brian said.
I shook my head. "No, I'm coming with you. I don't really need the crutches, I can walk." No seriously, I could! Just not too fast. "I can help Brian, I promise I'll stick by you."
Of course he let me tag along, because he knew he would feel safer if I was within his sight.
"Lets check the truck that hit us," Brian said. "see if the driver is okay."
The driver was not okay. He was dead. And he had his pregnant wife next to him and she looked dead too.
"Bri...we need to be sure if she's dead or not...we can save the baby." Brian was already fighting with the stubborn seatbelt that had the woman in her seat. She was bleeding on the head, profusely. I didn't know how we did it but we got her out of the truck and carried her to a safer ground not far from there.
We met with a nice lady who was willing to help out. I didn't know how she did it, but she wasn't trembling like the both of us and had done a better job at searching for the pregnant woman's heartbeat. She wasn't breathing.
"Unless we get help soon, the baby is going to die."
You know, there were a lot of screaming and crying going around, but her voice stuck out from the rest and went straight into my ears and ate at my heart. I knew that we had to save the baby.
Alfred however, took that particular time to come to us and told us that a chemical warehouse had caught fire not far from where we were and all available firemen and paramedics were on hand at the site.
I felt compelled to hold the woman's stomach, wanting to feel any movement by the unborn baby. I kept telling it to hold on, that help will come for him. I didn't know the baby's gender, mind you, I was just assuming.
I think I lost it for a while there, I was crying for the baby, already picturing him entering this world an orphan. I wondered if he had grandmothers or grandfathers to look after him, I wondered if his parents were rich people who had left behind insurance policies that could determine the safety of this baby's future. I kept telling him how sorry I was, that everything would be all right and that he didn't have to be afraid. Brian, surprisingly, just sat next to me, not saying a word.
I felt a kick a few moments later and call me psychic or simply retarded, but I knew by then that he died.
"It's too late Brian." I remembered telling my best friend. Part of me was wishing that Brian would console me and tell me that I was wrong, but he didn't. He said a silent prayer as I looked on; the nice lady covered the pregnant woman with a yellow canvas she had in her car.
I heard someone yelling about a man being stuck in his car and needed help, another woman was begging to anyone who would stop to listen and help to save her nine month old baby trapped in the back seat of her car. A child was crying somewhere out there, calling out for mommy. I couldn't take it all in. I wanted to disappear from there.
"Nick, what's wrong?" Brian's voice was shaky and scared, I could definitely relate to that. I couldn't tell him what was wrong because I had lost the strength to speak up. For the first time ever since the explosion, I felt my own pain.
It surged and coursed through my entire body, I was aching all over and the thick black smoke was suffocating me. A sharp pain shot straight to my stomach and I gasped, shocked at the sudden attack. Not now, I couldn't handle this stupid hernia now!
"Nick come on, talk to me damn it!" I saw Brian getting up and looking around, then his voice shouting out for Kevin. I wanted to tell him not to bother, that Kevin was busy saving lives, but I couldn't. My chest burn from inhaling the smoke and before I knew it, I was in a coughing fit.
"Come on buddy, we need to get you away from here." Brian was pulling me up and I obeyed him because I didn't want him to panic any further than he already did. Half way to our walk, Brian started coughing too.
"Brian, are you all right?" Immediately, my thoughts were about his heart. He might have gone through the surgery but it doesn't mean he's immune to smoke now, does it?
"I'm okay...keep walking..." He didn't sound okay, but I didn't argue with him because I couldn't. I was coughing my heart out too. I wondered where the rest of the guys were. I hope Howie had AJ near him all the time and I hope Kevin didn't think that he was an out right hero and decided to do everything.
I felt a strong pair of arms grabbing my right arm and almost dragging me to safety. I never let go of Brian though, dragging him along with me.
"It's okay Nick, I'll get you guys out of here." I knew that voice, it was Alfred. I wanted to thank him but I was busy coughing and the burn in my stomach wasn't helping at all.
Once we reached what I thought was 'safety', I felt Brian's grip loosen and he dropped to the course ground, panting. "Brian, talk to me." I managed. I wanted to tell him not to sit because I learned that would only make it all the more difficult.
"I'm okay...give me a sec..."
"Nick, where are you bleeding? We need to check it out before it gets worse." I checked myself, my shirt was stained in blood but I had no cuts. "I think it's not mine Alfred."
"Then who?"
"Not me." Brian said, checking himself.
I didn't give a damn. Who cares, we're fine. I swallowed, wishing I had a bottle of ice cold Evian with me then, all I tasted however, was my own saliva that tasted like iron. I didn't take me that long to realise I was coughing blood.