Justin's Place-I Guess That's Pretty Lame- Bite Me

March 8, 2003

OUTSIDE

And you, bring me to my knees again
All the times, I had to beg you please- in vain
All the times that I felt insecure for you
And I leave my burdens at the door

But I'm on the outside,
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colours
Cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times that I felt like this won't end was for you
And I taste what I could never have
It's from you
All the times that I've tried,
My intentions, full of pride
But I waste more time than anyone

But I'm on the outside,
I'm looking in
I can see through you
See your true colours
Cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me
I can see through you
See to the real you

All the times that I've cried,
All this wasted, it's all inside
And I feel all this pain
Stuffed it down
It's back again
And I lie here in bed
All alone, I can't mend.
But I feel tomorrow will be o.k.

January 25, 2003

FINE AGAIN

It seems like every day's the same and I'm left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is grey and there's no colors to behold
They say it's over and I'm fine again
Try to stay sober feels like I'm dying here

And I am aware now of how everything's gonna be fine one day
Too late I'm in hell
I am prepared now seems everyone's gonna be fine
One day too late just as well

I feel the dream in me expire and there's no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar because I can't seem to get this through
You say it's over, I can sigh again
Why try to stay sober when I'm dying here?

And I am aware now of how everything's gonna be fine one day
Too late I'm in hell
I am prepared now seems everyone's gonna be fine
One day too late just as well

January 9, 2003

TOMORROW

Is it any wonder why I'm scared?
If I was a little younger would I care?
Feeling like the walls are growing stronger
I don't know if this cage can hold me any longer

You never dreamed you'd have to live your life so guarded
Cause they'll find a way to make you feel discarded

I'm not afraid of tomorrow
I'm only scared of myself
Feels like my insides are on fire
And I'm looking through the eyes of someone else

Never thought they'd want me to go any faster
Never thought I took my foot off the gas
Everybody loves to be in on the pressure
But I know they're all waiting for the crash

You never dreamed you'd have to live your life so guarded
Cause they'll find a way to make you feel discarded
Things have changed, you've become a complication
Can't make it through another day's humiliation

Is it any wonder why the answer keeps me petrified?
Is it any wonder why I'm scared?

January 1, 2003

Happy New Year!

Sorry to anyone who read what I wrote here before. Drunkenness and computers don't mix. Apparently, my stupidity has no boundaries either.

October 6, 2002

BOTHER

I wish I was too dead to cry

My self-affliction fades

Stones to throw at my creator

Masochists to which I cater

You don't need to bother; I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care

If indeed I cared at all

Never had a voice to protest

So you fed me shit to digest

I wish I had a reason; my flaws are open season

For this, I gave up trying

One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother; I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died, instead of lived

A zombie hides my face

Shell forgotten with its memories

Diaries left with cryptic entries

You don't need to bother; I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on, I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother; I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on, I'll never live down my deceit

August 29, 2002

AMAZED

Sometimes I think I'm gonna drown

Cause everyone around is so hollow

I'm alone

Sometimes I think I'm going down

But no one makes a sound

They follow

And I'm alone

Yeah if I make it I'd be amazed

Just to find tomorrow

One more day and I'd be amazed

Just to see it waiting

And if I make it I'm still alone

No more hope for better days

But if I could change

Then I'd really be amazed

And when you know you can't relate

To one more shiny face

Your heart breaks

No one cares

And when you know you can't go on

Cause everything is wrong

Your heart breaks

But no one's there

Yeah if I make it I'd be amazed

Just to find tomorrow

One more day and I'd be amazed

Just to see it waiting

And if I make it I'm still alone

No more hope for better days

But if I could change

Then I'd really be amazed

August 27, 2002

Where?

I was wrong to think that I could ever trust in you

I was wrong to think that you would want to trust me too

Here I am

Here I stand

I was wrong to think that I could ever love you

I was wrong to think that you would want to love me too

Here I am

Here I stand

So, where the hell are you?

So where are you when I need someone too?

Well, I'm tired of needing you

June 7, 2002

Another birthday. Sigh. I'm overwhelmed by all the nothing I have accomplished with my life.

Seriously though, it is weird to think I'm 20. Shit, I'm not a teenager anymore. The problem is that it's not like I'm going to be more mature. I guess I can always make the effort.

DENY

Today I woke up and you were gone

The whole day wondering what I did wrong

It's like I'm falling from a mountaintop

My heart keeps pounding and it won't stop

Can you see this hell I'm living?

I'm not giving up

Will you crawl to me?

Will you fall with me?

I'll never crawl to you

I've done it all for you

Well don't deny

The hand that feeds you needs you

Oh God, I'd die to try to finally please you

There goes a piece of me

Will I cease to be?

I've never lied to you

Fought, bled and died for you

Well don't deny

The hand that takes you breaks you

Oh God, I'd die to try to finally please you

There she goes

And I'm on the ground

I'm on the ground

I'm on the...

Well don't deny

The hand that feeds you needs you

Oh God, I'd die to try to finally please you

Will you crawl to me?

Will you fall with me?

I've never crawled to you

I've done it all for you.

April 17, 2002

I'm back!! That was a quick retirement wasn't it. I just love my public so much I could not deny you my presence any longer.

Much like Christ, I have risen. Except I'm alive, and I don't have bullshit stories to say to everyone to prove that God wasn't impotent. Oooh. Take that God!

I'm back cause I have a new purpose in life. Spotting websites on Angelfire that are run by people that do not deserve to breathe the same oxygen as me. My hope is to eliminate theses sites, leaving me dominant. Let's face it, that's what everyone wants.

Today's site is located at www.angelfire.com/weird/ghostdiarys

WAIT!!! Don't go there until I tell you.

This is apparently a site dedicated to the paranormal. That tells you a lot right there. I'll be honest, I didn't read the whole site, I was too busy choking on my own puke. Seriously, this guy deserves to die. Apparently his sister just died (choking on my cock) so I'm sure his got stories about seeing his dead sister fly around, or something gay like that. He also read the Bible voluntarily, which is a certain sentence of death there.

Then, there are the pictures, which i guess are supposed to prove something. To me, they look like blurriness, but hey, why ruin anyone's fun? Honestly, check out the site for the pictures. You'll laugh your asses off when reflections of lenses are taken to be paranormal. The best proof of paranormal events are the pictures of the people who run this "site". They look like death warmed over.

In short, its because of people like this that the concept of ghosts will never be taken seriously. What I want you to do my minions is to e-mail these people and tell them I sent you and that you agree with me... They have no right to our air! In fact tell them they should die in order to be ghosts and do some freaky shit.

Till next time...

March 29, 2002

My web page: R.I.P. 2002

Well, it's about time. Honestly, this page has gone downhill with my lack of effort and really I feel bad if anyone is still actually checking to see if it is updated. It's just not at the level I would like it to be, and I'm not willing to put the effort into it. So fuck it. No more updates. Until the grand re-opening, which will be marked by a tickertape parade and me being given the key to the city. Stop laughing, it could happen. It would also be really cool if it rained Easter bunnies tomorrow.

So, it was a fun ride while it lasted, and a big thank you to everyone who made this page a success, the readers. (Always gotta kiss up to them in the farewell). Seriously though, it was cool to know that people actually cared enough to read what I wrote. You made the work of the page worthwhile, and I'm sorry I didn't provide you with a better service over the past year and a bit.

February 1, 2002

Ever just sit there and wanted to tell the world to fuck off? To be honest, I'm really pissed off now, and I don't even know over what. Well, I do, but I want to be sure first.

January 9, 2002

Well, I'm feeling better and things are worked out. Seems I don't stay angry at people long.

CRAWLING IN THE DARK

I will dedicate

And sacrifice my everything

For just a few seconds worth

Of how my story's ending

And I wish I could

Know if the directions that I take

And all the choices that I make

Won't end up all for nothing

Show me what it's for

Make me understand it

I've been crawling in the dark

Looking for the answer

Is there something more than what I've been handed?

I've been crawling in the dark

Looking for the answer

Help me carry on

Assure me it's o.k.

To use my heart

And not my eyes

To navigate the darkness

Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?

Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?

Show me what it's for

Make me understand it

I've been crawling in the dark

Looking for the answer

Is there something more than what I've been handed?

I've been crawling in the dark

Looking for the answer

So when and how will I know?

How much further do I have to go?

How much longer until I finally know?

Because I'm looking

And I just can't see what's in front of me

In front of me!

Show me what it's for

Make me understand it

I've been crawling in the dark

Looking for the answer

Is there something more than what I've been handed?

I've been crawling in the dark

Looking for the answer

January 2, 2002

You ever have one of those days where everything goes to shit in about 15 minutes? You go out with your friends and have fun bowling, and your looking forward to your date the next day. Then you get online to check your e-mail, and there's the girl. And the first thing she says to you is, "Oh, well, I don't know about this date thing. It's not a good idea. Bye."

Well, thanks a lot. I kinda wish that you had said no the first time, and hadn't dropped hints about how you like me. That kind of rejection I can deal with a bit better.

Anyways, I'm gonna get wasted, cause I just discovered a bottle of rum in my desk. Hopefully, everyone else is happier than I am now.

December 30, 2001

Well, it's almost the end of the year. Was it a good year or bad year? Fuck if I know, that's why I was asking you. December 18, 2001

Well, exams are almost over, one more on Thursday. Good, after that I can see my friends again. What's that groaning?

CRASHING AROUND YOU

I am your nightmares, true scares

That dream when you can't stop from falling

Can't fight, can't run

Can't stop the person you've become

I am your heartbreaks, mistakes

That place inside you hate

I am that shadow following every move, reminding you

That it's never good enough, never good enough

Even though you'll try and try

I'm gonna call your bluff

Because I am the thing bringing the feelings when...

Your world comes crashing around you

Smashes down around you

When will you see that you cannot hide from me?

When you feel darkness, hopeless

Can't cope with all the stress

I'll make you hate life, bring strife

Remeber failures hardened stare

And it's never gonna change, never gonna change

Always they'll be judging you

Compared to who and who

You trust in me, but I only live to see

Your world come crashing around you,

Smash down around you

When will you see that you cannot hide from me?

When I come for you

When I see through you

When I eat through you

When I destroy you

You'll think you're betrayed, astray

I'll leave you ripped and torn so bad you

Can't trust, can't love

Can't understand why life's so fucked up

I'm deep inside your mind

In constant remind

If you leave your thoughts to me, believe

I'll make sure that I see

Your world come crashing around you

Smash down around you

When will you see that you cannot hide from me?

I'll make your worl come crashing around you

Smash down around you

I'll let you see why you cannot hide from me...

Because I am you

November 28, 2001

"You bought Nelly Furtado?! That's pretty gay! Can I burn it after?'

Yeah that's right. Hey stop laughing. Fuck you.

To reaffirm my heterosexuality, I really enjoy the new Machine Head. I can't stop listening to it. They are now my second favourite band.

DEAFENING SILENCE

She looked right into my eyes and said to me

The hurt that you try to hide is killing me

You drink a thousand lies, to freeze the past in time

I've tried to fill this silence up

But now it's back again

See the pain in my eyes

See the scars deep inside

My God, I'm down in this hole again

With the laughter I smile

With the tears that I cry

Keep going down this road called life

She says that I'm insecure, I guess she's right

Cause just when I think I'm sure, alone at night

The agonies come back, this pain won't let me be

I try to fill the silence up

But now it's back again

See the pain in my eyes

See the scars deep inside

My God, I'm down in this hole again

With the laughter I smile

With the tears that I cry

Keep going down this road called life

Don't need your sympathy

I just want for this silence to stop killing me

It's deafening

It's deafening

This silence inside me

I try to fill the silence up

But now it's back again

It's empty like a suicide

This pain inside

See the pain in my eyes

See the scars deep inside

My God, I'm down in this hole again

With the laughter I smile

With the tears that I cry

Keep going down this road called life

Don't need your sympathy

I just want for this silence to stop killing me

November 20, 2001

I better be careful before this page blows my cover as an asshole. Wouldn't want people to think I'm nice and care. Glad to see my friends are reading though.

November 10, 2001

I read something disturbing, and untruthful on the web today. I was going to go into a full rant on the subject, but I just realized that it was written by a person whose opinion I don't respect anyway. Still is fun to see the pot try to identify a kettle, but fail miserably. Next time, at least try to get the facts right.

In conclusion, don't insult or look down upon any of my friends, cause when you do that, you insult or look down upon me. I choose to share a part of my life with these people and while I don't say it much or act like it, I appreciate them. These people have earned a special place in my heart for the fact that they tolerate my crap, no questions asked. They have more honour and dignity and class in their little fingers than you can ever dream of.

Look at that, I ended up ranting anyway. Oh well, I'm glad I said it. Here's a song that can help fit the situation.

HOLIER THAN THOU

No more!

The crap rolls out your mouth again

Haven't changed, your brain is still gelatin

Little whispers circle around your head

Why don't you worry about yourself instead

Who are you? where you been? where you from?

Gossip is burning on the tip of your tongue

You lie so much you believe yourself

Judge not lest ye be judged yourself

Holier than thou

You are

Holier than thou

You are

You know not

Before you judge me take a look at you

Can't you find somethig better to do

Point the finger, slow to understand

Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand

It's not who you are it's who you know

Others lives are the basis of your own

Burn your bridges, build them back with wealth

Judge not lest ye be judged yourself

Holier than thou

You are

Holier than thou

You are

You know not

Yeah, who the hell are you?

October 31, 2001

BLEEDING ME

I'm digging my way

I'm digging my way to something

I'm digging my way to something better

I'm pushing to stay

I'm pushing to stay with something

I'm pushing to stay with something better

I'm sowing the seeds

I'm sowing the seeds I've taken

I'm sowing the seeds I take for granted

This thorn in my side

This thorn in my side is from the tree

This thorn in my side is from the tree I've planted

It tears me and I bleed

And I bleed

Caught under wheels roll

I take the leech

I'm bleeding me

Can't stop to save my soul

I take the leash that's leading me

I'm bleeding me

I can't take it

Caught under wheels roll

Oh, the bleeding of me

Of me

The bleeding of me

Caught under wheels roll

I take the leech

I'm bleeding me

Can't stop to save my soul

I take the leash that's leading me

I'm bleeding me

I can't take it

Caught under wheels roll

Oh, the bleeding of me

Oh, the bleeding of me

I am the beast that bleeds the feast

I am the blood

I am released

Come make me pure

Bleed me a cure

I'm caught, I'm caught, I'm caught under

Caught under wheels roll

I take that leech

I'm bleeding me

Can't stop to save my soul

I take the leash that's leading me

I'm bleeding me

I can't take it

I can't take it

I can't take it

Oh, the bleeding of me

I'm digging my way

I'm digging my way to something

I'm digging my way to something better

I'm pushing to stay

I'm pushing to stay with something

I'm pushing to stay with something better

With something better

October 28, 2001

THE GOD THAT FAILED

Pride you took

pride you feel

pride that you felt when you'd kneel

not the word

not the love

not what you thought from above

it feeds

it grows

it clouds all that you will know

deceit

deceive

decide just what you believe

I see faith in your eyes

never your hear the discouraging lies

I hear faith in your cries

broken is the promise, betrayal

the healing hand held back by the deepened nail

follow the god that failed

find your peace

find your say

find the smooth road in your way

trust you gave

a child to save

left you cold and him in grave

it feeds

it grows

it clouds all that you will know

deceit

deceive

decide just what you believe

I see faith in your eyes

never you hear the discouraging lies

I hear faith in your cries

broken is the promise, betrayal

the healing hand held back by the deepened nail

follow the god that failed

I see faith in your eyes

broken is the promise, betrayal

the healing hand held back by the deepened nail

follow the god that failed

pride you took

pride you feel

pride that you felt when you'd kneel

trust you gave

a child to save

left you cold and him in grave

I see faith in your eyes

never you hear the discouraging lies

I hear faith in your cries

broken is the promise, betrayal

the healing hand held back by deepened nail

follow the god that failed

SEPTEMBER 27, 2001

THE UNFORGIVEN

New blood joins this earth

and quickly he's subdued

through constant pained disgrace

the young boy learns their rules

with time the child draws in

this whipping boy done wrong

deprived of all his thoughts

the young man struggles on and on he's known

a vow unto his own

that never from this day

his will they'll take away

what I've felt

what I've known

never shined through in what I've shown

never be

never see

won't see what might have been

what I've felt

what I've known

never shined through in what I've shown

never free

never me

so I dub thee unforgiven

they dedicate their lives

to running all of his

he tries to please them all

this bitter man he is

throughout his life the same

he's battled constantly

this fight he cannot win

a tired man they see no longer cares

the old man then prepares

to die regretfully

that old man here is me

what I've felt

what I've known

never shined through in what I've shown

never be

never see

won't see what might have been

what I've felt

what I've known

never shined through in what I've shown

never free

never me

so I dub thee unforgiven

you labeled me

I'll label you

so I dub thee unforgiven

SEPTEMBER 13, 2001

Nothing to say about the shit that went down on Tuesday. Words can't describe it.

Bought the new Nickelback album and an older one. Great stuff. I regret not noticing them before. Anyone who wants some good grunge rock should pick it up.

It's been a pretty good time for music. I count about 16 new Cds. Nickelback, Puddle of Mudd, System of a Down, Alien Ant Farm, Staind, Tantric, JimmyEaty World, Pennywise, Saliva and Tool. Some awesome stuff.

I'll leave you with a Nickelback song from the new album. Not all the songs are as depressing though.

JUST FOR

BY: NICKELBACK

I want to take his eyes out

Just for looking at you

Yes I do

And I want to take his hands off

Just for touching you

Yes I do

And I want to rip his heart out

Just for hurting you

And I want to break his mind down

Yes I do, yes I do,yes I do

And I want to make him regret

Life since the day he met you

Yes I do

And I want to make him take back

All that he took from you

Yes I do

And I want to rip his heart out

Just for hurting you

And I want to break his mind down

Yes I do, Yes I do, Yes I do!!!!!!

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Email: normand.mccormick@sympatico.ca