You made the right decision to come here. It does a body good to enrich one's vocabulary.
Plus, who doesn't love to insult people in different languages?

Here are some useful Yiddish phrases, along with pronunciation, and the phrase used in a sentence,
so you can shlep your way to glory, you schmuck.

Alter Cocker
(all-ter cock-er)
An old, complaining person. An old fart, if you will.
"I'd visit my grandpa in the home, but he's such an alter cocker, I'd rather shove a spoon up my tuchus than to hear him complain."

Here's where it gets tricky. You're all familiar with the way the Jews say "Chanukah",
with that noise they make that sounds like they're clearing their throats?
Well, that's the sound you need to make everytime you see the letters "C" and "H" together.

Terrible food.
"I'm offering to make the rugalach this year, because my sister's cooking is chazerei; no one wants to eat it!"

(Sounds like how it's spelled.)
"This is total dreck. I've never seen a worse movie in my life."

Fucked up.
"That whole situation is fercockt. They need to go see a therapist to sort their problems out."

Gay Avek
(gay uh-veck)
Go away, get out of here.
"Gay avek, you pesky kid! I'm busy!"

To belch.
"Don't grepse after a meal, it's bad manners. What are you, meshugge?"

To complain.
"Stop kvetching, no one cares if you're having a bad time!"

A bastard or untrustworthy person.
"I can't believe he stole your wallet! What a momzer!"

A whore, a tramp.
"She's such a nafka, I bet she'd screw anything with legs for money."

Here are some phrases that, if you say them really fast,
they make you sound like a crazy person but also leaves the other person wondering what the hell you said.

Gai kakhen afenyam
(guy cock-en uh-fay-um)
Go shit in the lake. Very common to "go soak your head" or "go jump off a cliff".

Zolst ligen in drerd!
(zolest lie-gun in drerd)
Go lie in the dirt. Basically, "Drop dead".

Tokhis oyfn tish
(took-us oy-fin tish)
Put up or shut up.

A shaynem dank dir im pupik
(a shay-num dahnk der in puhp-ick)
Means, literally, "Many thanks in your belly button". The general gist is "thanks for nothing".

I hope you enjoyed schmoozing with me, everyone's favorite zaftig shiksa.
Don't be a shlemiel, use these phrases in your everyday hok a chainik.

junk crap things stuff whatnot

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