So, you want to know all about me, eh? You want to know what makes Jen tick?
How to make a Jen cocktail, perhaps? How often Jen showers, even?

Not sure about those particular questions, but I will tell you about me.
At least, the stuff that I feel comfortable enough to share with complete strangers.

Well, congratulations on finding your way around this little Interweb space o' mine. I know sometimes, life is a little difficult to grasp, but you made your way through it. I'm proud of you.

Now, instead of singing your praises, I shall sing mine.
I am a 30-something stock market entrepreneur with a heart of gold and blood made entirely of chocolate syrup.
Don't believe that? Fine. You've got an honest face. I'll tell you the real deal.

My name is Jen. I'm in my early twenties with no hopes on ever playing the stock market, so don't worry. I'm an English major with a passion for proper spelling and cheese fries. I don't like people, but it's okay because the feeling is mutual. If I could, I'd live by myself on an island with monkey butlers and about 10 small dogs.

I speak three languages: English, Spanish, and Yiddish. Yep, Yiddish.
I'll give you a small lesson if you want... just click on the crap section and you'll see. I mean it. Really.

Also, if you just so happen to become enamored with my dashing personality and my stunning wit and devilshly good looks, you can apply to be my boyfriend. This is also located in the crap section. If you're a straight female and just want to be friends, hey, that's cool; you're in luck cuz there's a friend application in the crap section also. I've just thought of everything here!

Thanks for visiting my slice of world wide pie, and remember: have fun and be good, or there will be no trip to Disney World this year!

junk crap things stuff whatnot

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