Amigo(a).

Hooray! We're all in need of friends.
Me especially. But I'd never let you know that.

Here's the friendship application. I'm not as picky when it comes to friends as I am with boyfriends, but I do require that we have something in common, besides a common hatred of brussels sprouts and David Letterman.

And now, without further adieu:

FRIENDSHIP APPLICATION

Part I: Preliminary

Your Name:

I am a:
Male Female

Age:

Height:

Weight:

Ethnicity:

Religion:

Level of Education:

Occupation:

Part II: Word Association

Car:

Toes:

Phone:

Lotion:

Corned Beef:

Screaming Baby:

Tank:

Lewinsky:

Pumpkin:

Glen Humplik:

Part III: Preferences

Please list your favorite:

Food
Animal
Color
Movie
Fruit juice
Marsupial
Song
Season
Racial stereotype
Cartoon character
Pastry or baked good
Muppet

Part IV: Anagrams

For this part of the application, please list as many words you can make using these letters:
TUPIDSBAEM

By submitting this application, you hereby give your entire soul to Jen. You will leave her all your personal belongings, should you leave this world, and you agree that she's the coolest person that has ever walked the face of the earth; even cooler than William Shatner. You will also acknowledge the fact that you will shower her with attention and compliments and many, many hugs should she ask.

I hereby agree to these terms.

junk crap things stuff whatnot

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