Part five of "Little blue world" - an AU series
by Jinny W
April 2001
Disclaimer: Paramount owns all. I'm just playing.
Summary: The hunt for the spy on the Liberty continues. Is it the devious Seska, or the homesick Harry Kim?
~~~
"There you are. I've been looking all over for you."
Tom peered into the small area which housed the Liberty's weapons array. Harry Kim sat cross legged on the floor, with what looked like the entire innards of a disassembled phaser bank spread around him. Harry glanced up briefly, then continued to wipe clean the piece of metal he was holding.
"You were the one who told me that the phaser banks could be more efficient if we made sure all of the junk was out of the parts", he commented. "And who am I to argue, O great tactical leader."
Tom snorted. "I didn't mean you had to do it right away."
"It needs doing", Harry said, putting down the piece and picking up another smaller one.
"I was hoping you'd come and play a game of checkers with me," Tom said, slipping into the room and lowering himself gingerly to the floor.
"Checkers?" At that Harry looked up. "Where'd you get a checkers set from?"
"Chell".
"I didn't know Bollians played checkers."
"He doesn't." Tom grinned. "He told me he stole it from someone a long time ago, but never got around to learning how to play. So how about a game?"
Harry picked up a cloth and began polishing the tiny component. "I'm busy."
"Harry, Harry, Harry. Live a little."
"You won't be saying that when Tuvok gets out of sickbay and comes to inspect your work."
"Au contraire", Tom insisted, "I'll be saying it even more often when the Vulcan taskmaster returns."
Harry merely grunted and continued working. Tom watched him for a few minutes, his forehead wrinkling in concern.
"Do you want to tell me what's up?"
"Who said anything was wrong?"
"No one did. No one needed to. You've been moping around by yourself lately so much, I think you've been even more unsociable than Tuvok."
Harry sighed. "Do you really want to know?"
"Of course I do."
"Fine", Harry snapped. "I hate this ship. I hate my room, I hate my job, I hate my clothes, I hate the food. Chakotay keeps looking at me strangely, like he's just waiting for me to do something wrong. And I know the Maquis have been calling me Ensign Dim behind my back." He started rubbing vigorously again. "Is that enough for you?"
Tom pursed his lips. "Your clothes aren't that bad." When Harry glared at him he held up his hands. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I knew you were having a rough time, but..."
"I don't fit in here, Tom, and everyone knows it."
"On this crazy ship? Who does fit?"
"You do."
"Me?" Tom pulled a face. "Oh come on. Chakotay gives lots of people odd looks. He looks at me like he'd like to throw me out of an airlock. It doesn't mean he's going to do it." Harry didn't look up, so he went on. "And so what if all the Maquis have a nickname for you. B'Elanna's been calling me a pig ever since I came on board."
"That's different. She does it to your face."
"Isn't that worse?"
"No. Besides, I heard her telling Hogan that you're not such a bad guy."
"She did?" Tom's eyebrows shot up. "Well, well. But that's not the point. You need to give it a little more time."
Harry grunted again, unconvinced. "They were all so jealous of me", he said shortly.
"Who was?"
"My Academy friends. I'd competed with some of them to get the posting on Voyager. They were so envious when I got the job. Look at me now." He glanced around the weapons room contemptuously. "I'm glory bound."
Tom watched him clean for a few minutes more, his mind wandering.
"What are you using to get that residue off?" he asked eventually.
"It's just a cleaning solution", Harry mumbled, "I made it up myself."
"Throw me a cloth then". When Harry looked at him in surprise he added, "I'm not going to let you mould away down here by yourself."
At that a flicker of a smile crossed Harry's face.
"Thanks", he said.
"Don't mention it. So," Tom said, as he picked up a discoloured junction node. "Tell me more about what B'Elanna said. I want details."
~~~
"I just wish there was something more I could do. It's only been two days, and I feel like I've spent them all walking around on eggshells while we wait for them for slip up. This is not doing good things for my stress levels." Kathryn paused and took another tentative sip from her mug, then coughed. "Neither is Neelix's latest coffee substitute."
Chakotay smiled at her. "He does keep on trying."
"Oh, he's persistent. I'll give him that. But what I wouldn't give for the aroma of a nice mound of darkly roasted coffee beans."
"Watch it", Chakotay said, "I think you're starting to drool."
Kathryn set her mug down. "I miss coffee." She rested her hand on her palm and sighed. "I miss a lot of things."
"Feeling homesick?"
"No, not really. Alright", she amended, glancing around the near empty mess hall and lowering her voice. "I am. But its more than that. It's the frustration of having to deal with a situation like this out here on our own, without any support or advice."
"Or interfering Admirals", Chakotay supplied.
"What I wouldn't give for a few interfering Admirals right now." At Chakotay's disbelieving snort she added, "Okay, maybe just the one."
Chakotay leaned forward with a conspiratorial grin. "I heard a rumour once that Admiral Ackland could sniff out disloyal officers with his bare nose."
"Really? I hadn't heard that one." She grimaced. "I did meet Ackland once at a function. I think I'd rather have the help of someone who didn't insist on calling me 'Red' all the time."
Chakotay laughed. The gesture was infectious and despite her irritability Kathryn couldn't help chuckling too. More than anything, she felt relieved that the uncomfortable tension between them seemed to have dissipated a little over the past few days. Having a common goal - tracking down the traitor among them - was helping there. It made them both extremely uneasy to think that a friend might not be what he or she seemed, but working together on the problem had created a feeling of camaraderie. Oddly enough, she had to admit that she felt more like she was part of a command team now than she had at any time during the past month.
Despite their brain storming sessions, neither of them had come up with a suitable plan for trapping the responsible party yet. B'Elanna's report on the accident in engineering had been thorough but inconclusive. Despite her private suspicions, and her insistence that she had seen the undamaged relay only the day before, the evidence pointed merely to a relay burn out. She told Kathryn later that someone could have deliberately destroyed the circuits, but it would have taken very precise action to counterfeit the accidental damage.
"You could do it with some sort of corrosive agent, but it would be tricky", she said. "Something like syrecium or di-metrophalathion gel. Neither would leave a trace. Which means we can't prove it either way", she concluded glumly.
There was nothing she could do about it now, anyway. Kathryn shrugged inwardly and tried to push the depressing thought away. After a moment Chakotay sobered and began sniffing the air.
"What *is* that awful smell?"
Kathryn mimicked his gesture. "I hope it's not dinner."
They both turned towards the small kitchen, where Neelix was busily pouring a dark green liquid from a saucepan to a storage container.
"Let's go investigate," Kathryn said, pushing back her chair.
Neelix looked up with his customary smile as they approached. "Ah! Captain, Kathryn. What can I do for you? Some more coffee?"
"No, thankyou Neelix. We're just curious about this-" Kathryn gestured towards the goopy liquid "-concoction. What is it?"
Neelix beamed at her. "I'm glad you asked. It's actually an old family recipe."
"Spinach?" Chakotay frowned, peering into the container.
"No. It's a mixture of roasted palma leaves and Talaxian root beetles."
Two sets of eyebrows shot up. Kathryn reacted first. "Beetles? You're feeding us beetles?"
Neelix chuckled. "No, no, it's not to eat. It's an ointment."
Chakotay frowned. "An ointment for what?"
"A whole range of things. Burns, abrasions, skin lesions. It helps the healing process."
Kathryn and Chakotay shared an amused look.
"It's for the doctor's new project," Neelix added. "He asked me if I knew any recipes for Talaxian herbal remedies, but he seemed skeptical about this one, so I told him I'd mix up a batch to demonstrate."
Chakotay still looked puzzled. "What project?"
"Oh, I forgot to tell you", Kathryn said. "I was talking to the doctor and Kes last week about restocking the sickbay. This is a project that they've come up with to help them do it. They're collecting a database of traditional medicinal practices from all different cultures."
"Alternative healing techniques?"
"Uh huh. Kes has set aside a section of the hydroponics bay to grow what they need. But there isn't much information on the computers, so they're relying on the family knowledge of all the crew. Old style remedies, like grandma used to make."
Chakotay looked impressed. "That's a good idea."
"I thought so too", she said, with another dubious sideways glance at Neelix's creation. "I think the doctor wants to talk to you about the medicine wheel at some stage."
"I'd be happy to, if he's seriously interested."
"I should go and deliver this", Neelix announced, snapping the lid on the container.
"I'm going down to see Tuvok", Kathryn offered, "I could drop it in while I'm there."
She gingerly picked up the container and nodded her good-byes. Chakotay leaned close to her ear as she left.
"Don't eat it all yourself now," he whispered. Kathryn resisted the urge to poke out her tongue at him, settling instead for the more mature response of rolling her eyes.
~~~
Kathryn arrived in sickbay just as the doctor was giving Tuvok the last of an apparent barrage of final instructions.
"- and no strenuous exercise for the next few weeks at least", he finished.
"I presume you will at least allow me to meditate", Tuvok said dryly.
"Of course. As long as it doesn't involve any levitation."
"Doctor", Kathryn broke in, noting the long suffering expression on the Vulcan's face, "Neelix asked me to give you this."
She handed over her cargo with some relief, resisting the urge to run and wash her hands. Whatever Neelix had put in his ointment, it left a distinct odour in its wake.
"Tuvok", she said, watching him gather up a pile of padds from the bedside table, "how are you feeling?"
"Ready for duty, actually, despite the doctor's cautious opinion."
"I want you to take another few days off anyway." She gestured to the padds. "Some light reading?"
"I've been surveying all the ship's reports from the past month. I believe I am now up to date with its specs and operations."
"That's good to hear."
Tuvok regarded her coolly. "Are you certain that here are no tactical matters that require my immediate attention?"
Kathryn met his gaze steadily in return. His question had cut into her mood of levity, reminding her of more serious matters. "No," she lied smoothly. "We're fine."
As usual, it was impossible to tell whether the Vulcan believed her or not. He merely nodded. "Very well, I will return to my quarters."
As Tuvok left the room, Kathryn wandered over to the shelves where Doctor Zimmerman had placed Neelix's jar of ointment. In the space of a week he had already assembled a collection of basic ingredients, as well as the beginnings of a hard copy database of alternative medical information.
"And how are you going, doctor?" she asked.
"I feel as though I should request a large cauldron and broomstick next time we encounter a trading convoy", he replied sardonically. "Apart from that, I'm well." He passed her a padd.
"What's this?"
"A list of the types of specimens I'd like the away teams to look out for on the planet tomorrow."
"Thankyou. I have to admit I'm a little skeptical myself about the benefits of-" she fingered the label on Neelix's jar "-Talaxian beetle produce."
"I'm skeptical about the whole enterprise", the doctor said, shrugging, "but I can't sit here all day and complain about lacking Starfleet supplies without trying anything different."
Kathryn nodded. "I agree. I was thinking just this morning, have you collected all the medical profiles of the crew yet?"
The doctor looked pleased by the question. "No. I did think of it before. But I didn't know if I had the authority to order the Maquis crewmembers in here to give me blood and tissue samples."
"You do."
"I do?"
She grinned at his smug expression. "I'll save you the trouble though. I'll make an announcement instructing everyone to come and see you sometime in the next 24 hours. Think you can handle that?"
"Yes Captain. I mean Kathryn", he corrected himself, as she turned to leave.
"Good". She paused in the doorway. "Oh, and doctor", she added. "My mother had this great recipe for curing the common cold."
"Don't tell me... warm tea with honey?"
She grinned again. "No. I was going to say a hot toddy".
The doctor gave her a rare smile. "Much better. I'll add it to the list." He turned back to the shelf, then called out after her. "Oh, by the way Kathryn, I forgot to mention something to you earlier. It's probably nothing, but I thought you might like to know".
"What's that?"
"Harry Kim came in the other day to request a sample vial of metrophalathion".
Kathryn's smile instantly dropped from her face. "He what?"
"I'm sure he had a legitimate reason for wanting it", the doctor said quickly, "But I was so busy at the time that I forgot to ask what it was."
At her distressed expression, he went on hurriedly. "I'm sure its nothing dangerous. I don't know Mr. Kim very well, but he doesn't seem to be the sort of young man who'd be resorting to drug taking," he said assuredly.
With a start Kathryn realised that he was merely referring to the possible psychotropic uses of phalathion. In her alarm she'd forgotten about the practice.
"Of course doctor", she managed, "I'm sure that wasn't his intention."
"I could have a word with him, if you like", he offered.
"No", she said quickly, her mind racing. "I'll talk to him myself."
As she strode off down the corridor she barely noticed where she was going. Her stomach had developed a curious dull ache. Harry Kim had vial of metrophalathion, she thought repeatedly. That doesn't mean he used it to create the corrosive gel, she told herself sternly. Then what on earth did he want it for? Should she tell Chakotay? She shook her head quickly to clear it. No, he would only suspect the worst. Should she talk to him herself, try and innocently ask why he had wanted the chemical? No, that wouldn't help either. If Harry was embroiled in some plot he would surely have a neat cover story worked out already. She would wait until tomorrow, and decide what to do then.
~~~
"You're quiet today."
B'Elanna continued to poke at her dinner with her fork without looking up. "Am I?"
"Yes". Seska watched her closely for a moment. "Is something going on that I should know about?"
"I'm just tired, is all", B'Elanna lied. "I had to pull a few extra shifts trying to figure out what the hell happened in engineering the other day. Chakotay wanted a detailed report."
"I thought you'd already decided it was a relay error".
"That's what I thought at first", she replied, pretending nonchalance, "but now I'm not so sure. I checked all those relays only the day before. None of them were even slightly damaged. It doesn't make sense that one of them could burn out over night."
If she was hoping to get a rise out of Seska she was disappointed. The Bajoran merely shrugged.
"Everything on this ship is old and craggy. You never know when things are going to fall apart on you."
"I know my engine room", B'Elanna was tempted to say, but held her tongue. Instead she changed the subject.
"I may have been busy with work, but I hear you've been otherwise occupied."
Seska looked at her sharply. "What do you mean by that?"
"I mean you've been spending a lot of time with Michael Jonas lately. Are the two of you..." she trailed off suggestively.
Seska snorted derisively. "Michael Jonas? Don't be absurd." At B'Elanna's raised eyebrow she added, "We're just friends, that's all."
"I thought you couldn't stand the guy."
"Who told you that?"
B'Elanna stared at her incredulously. "You did. Pretty much ever since he joined our cell."
Seska shrugged. "He's not so bad", she said vaguely.
"Besides", B'Elanna went on, finally taking a half-hearted bite of her food, "I also thought you were still interested in a certain other person we both know."
Seska's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I can't think who you mean."
"Can't you? I could give you hint. He's tall, dark-"
"Anyway", Seska cut in before she could finish, "at least I'm not wasting all my time on Starfleet's finest."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean you, chumming up to that pig Paris and his weedy loser friend."
"Harry is not a loser", she argued, ignoring the comment about Tom.
"Really?" Seska raised her eyebrows. "Is that why he's been moping around the ship like a lost puppy for the past month?"
B'Elanna opened her mouth to retort when a hail from the comm system interrupted her.
"This is Kathryn Janeway speaking."
B'Elanna couldn't help noticing the expression of displeasure that flashed across Seska's face. No doubt Kathryn appeared at the top of her disdained list of "Starfleet's finest".
"As you may know, the doctor is trying to properly equip sickbay. It would help him greatly if you could all visit him at your earliest convenience to provide a blood sample and a brief medical history. The sooner we can get a full database up and running, the better we can handle any medical crises that come our way. Thankyou."
"At your earliest convenience", Seska mimicked with a sneer.
"What's your problem?" B'Elanna asked.
"Just because I don't want to be Janeway's best friend, it doesn't mean I have a problem," she shot back.
B'Elanna sighed. "Alright, alright. Forget I said anything." She dropped her fork on the tray. "I'm not going to finish this. I might as well go and give blood now. Want to come with me?"
"No," Seska said shortly.
"We might as well get it out of the way."
"I'll come later. I've got-" Seska looked around vaguely as if trying to think of an excuse "-something I have to do."
"Suit yourself."
B'Elanna forced a smile as she left, one that quickly slipped from her face once she turned away. She and Seska had never been best of friends, but lately she was finding it difficult to handle a civil conversation with the woman. Just because she's infuriating at times, she reminded herself, it doesn't make her a traitor. Just because she's insanely jealous of Chakotay, she added, hates Kathryn Janeway with a passion, resents having anything to do with Starfleet, and wants to buddy up with the Kazon, doesn't make her one either. Still... she sighed and with some difficulty tried to force the uncharitable thoughts away.
~~~
Kathryn shrugged her jacket up over her shoulders as she stepped into the transporter room. Chakotay was already there waiting for her, pacing back and forth impatiently.
"Is the away team ready to go?"
He stopped pacing and turned, his face grave. "I've already sent them down. There's something we need to talk about first."
"Oh?" Kathryn's heart began to race. Despite a restless night, she hadn't come to a conclusion about Harry yet. She hadn't told Chakotay about the doctor's revelation either. After all, she reasoned, it didn't necessarily mean that Harry was responsible for the engineering accident. Why would Harry want to hurt her, of all people?
"Tuvok has found something interesting." He gestured to the corner of the room, as the Vulcan stepped forward from the shadows.
Kathryn frowned. "Tuvok? I thought you were supposed to be resting."
"I appreciate your efforts to assist me in my rehabilitation, but this is a matter of grave concern."
"Computer, lock the doors. Authorization Chakotay pi delta five."
Kathryn stared at them both in turn. "Well, don't keep me waiting. What's going on?"
"I have discovered that a member of the crew has arranged a clandestine meeting with a small Kazon delegation during today's away mission", Tuvok announced calmly.
"You what? How did you-"
"Know about the spy?" he finished. "As I mentioned yesterday, while convalescing in sickbay I took the opportunity to survey all available reports of ship's operations. I noticed the same transmissions that Mr. Hogan first did."
"I should have known you would."
"Thankyou", Tuvok said placidly. "After leaving sickbay I took the opportunity to install a number of special listening devices which could detect both unauthorized and unusual transmissions. I logged such a transmission last night. On viewing its contents, I immediately contacted the Captain and informed him of what I had found. He in turn informed me of your suspicions."
Kathryn blinked at him. "Tuvok, remind me never to underestimate you." She turned to Chakotay, curiosity swelling in her chest. "So who sent the message? Was it Kim, or Seska?" She bit her lip, hoping desperately he would name the Bajoran.
"Neither. It was Michael Jonas."
"Jonas? But he didn't have access to the console for the other incidents, did he?"
Chakotay shook his head.
"Perhaps Mr. Jonas has an accomplice", Tuvok offered.
"I agree", Chakotay said. "In any case, I thought of an excuse to keep him on board today. Torres is down there with Seska, I'm going to go and keep an eye on Kim. I want you to take care of things here."
Kathryn frowned again. "Torres?"
"She already has her suspicions about a possible saboteur on board, so I thought she might as well help us."
"I will return with you to the bridge, and monitor the away team's position", Tuvok said.
"Alright". Kathryn gave Chakotay a weak smile as he stepped onto the transporter pad. "Be careful."
"I will".
As he shimmered and disappeared, Kathryn fought back the desire to yell after him. Just because she hadn't told him about the chemicals, it didn't mean she was sending him into danger, did it?
~~~
"They're firing again."
"Evasive maneuvers."
Kathryn swore under her breath as another shot from the Kazon ship shook the Liberty.
"Can you get the away team back yet?"
"Negative", Tuvok responded placidly. "Several members still appear to be blocked by minerals in some sort of natural geological formation."
"Beam up whoever you can", she ordered.
"Aye."
Kathryn glared at the Kazon warship and tightened her hands into fists. "What the hell is going on down there?"
"It would appear that the away team have been ambushed by the Kazon", Tuvok replied.
"So much for that 'small delegation' you promised me, Tuvok," she shot back.
"I am reading the rest of the away team now. Beaming them back".
Kathryn pushed herself out of the chair. "You have the bridge", she snapped. "I'm going to see what happened."
As she strode from the room a hail from Chakotay arrested her.
"Kathryn", his voice breathed heavily, "meet me in sickbay."
"I'm on my way."
Kathryn rushed into sickbay, fearing the worst. Several injured crewmembers were scattered across the beds, both Harry Kim and Seska among them. She scanned the room rapidly and made straight for Chakotay, who stood, apparently unharmed, at the foot of one of the beds where Seska's unconscious body lay.
"What happened?" she asked breathlessly.
He turned to her slowly, his face grave. "We were all separated in the caves. I tried to catch up with him in there," he gestured to Kim, who Kes was treating for a small head wound, "but it was too late. By the time I reached his position a party of eight Kazon came at us from behind a rock formation. They did this before we could react."
The doctor finished examining Seska and looked up. "She'll be alright. There don't appear to be any internal injuries, she's just had a rough bump on the head."
Chakotay sighed with relief as the doctor moved on to another crewmember who had a phaser-like burn on his arm. He took Kathryn's elbow and hurried her aside to the corner of the room. Before he could speak, the comm system beeped.
"Tuvok to sickbay."
"Go ahead", Chakotay replied.
"The Kazon ship is leaving. Shall I set a pursuit course?"
"Negative. Let them go. We're in no condition to fight."
Chakotay carefully turned his back to the beds then held out his hand to Kathryn.
"Here."
Cradled in his palm was a small black object, three centimeters in diameter.
"What's that?"
"When I found Harry, he was holding it", he said softly.
She met his sad eyes with a puzzled look. "What is it?"
He took a deep breath and said quietly, "It's a Kazon transmitter."
As the words sank in, he rested his other hand on Kathryn's shoulder.
"I'm sorry".
Kathryn gulped, and was astonished to find that she was holding back tears. "Oh", she managed. The dull ache in her stomach returned in full force. She turned to regard Harry, who was calmly accepting Kes' ministrations.
"He doesn't even look worried", she said dumbly.
"Maybe he doesn't know that we know. He was disoriented from the head wound when I took this from him."
Kathryn felt her own head start to pound. "What should we do with him?"
Chakotay regarded her somberly. "I guess we throw him in the brig until we can question him."
"We don't have a brig."
"We do now." At her baffled look he added, "Tuvok's got someone converting one of the empty storage rooms."
"Great", she muttered dully.
She made a move to step towards Harry, but Chakotay held her back.
"Don't", he said gently. "He's not even with us. Talk to him later when the concussion wears off."
Kathryn nodded silently, not willing herself to speak, and rushed from the room. Chakotay's dark eyes followed her, then turned back to survey their suspects. He'd honestly wished it wasn't Seska - despite all her faults he hadn't believed her capable of such cruelty. Still, he was surprised to find that now it was over, he wasn't even the remotest bit glad that events had proven him correct.
~~~
"I thought I'd find you here".
Chakotay stepped around a tray of petunias and lowered himself to the floor to sit beside Kathryn.
"Did you?" she said, without looking up.
"No. Not without prompting anyway. Kes mentioned you'd taken to hiding in the hydroponics bay."
"I'm not hiding," she said, giving him a tired glance, "I'm just retiring for a while."
Chakotay watched her wordlessly, considering then discarding a litany of reassuring cliches. "You must feel awful", he said eventually.
Kathryn snorted at that. "D'you think?"
"You may not believe this," Chakotay went on, his voice gentle, "but I am sorry it was Harry. I know you trusted him. That you liked him."
"I did like him", she agreed with a sigh. "I mean, I do like him. It just doesn't make sense."
Chakotay echoed her sigh with one of his own. "Betrayal never does."
"You shouldn't be apologizing to me", she said dully, "I should be the one saying sorry."
He reached over and took her hand. "Hey", he said, squeezing it, "We all misjudge people sometimes. I took your first officer on board my ship, remember?"
Kathryn smiled ruefully at the mention of Cavitt. "He was such a good liar though", she recollected. "Never played poker with the man. Now Harry", she shook her head. "Harry's just a kid."
Chakotay shuffled closer to her, and started to run his thumb over her knuckles as he spoke. "We all make mistakes."
"I should have told you about the corrosive gel he had", she blurted, not meeting his eyes. "The doctor told me about it yesterday. It's possible he created the accident in engineering too."
To her surprise Chakotay just nodded. "I know", he said softly.
She looked up at that, startled. "What do you mean, you know?"
"I went in last night to give blood. The doc told me then."
"Oh". Kathryn let out a breath and sniffed. "I thought you'd be angry", she admitted. "We were supposed to be doing this as a team".
"We are a team."
"Some team", she said, not meeting his eyes again. "I should have trusted you about Seska too."
"You weren't to know. You don't know her very well."
"I know", she mumbled. "That's the point. You two... You obviously do, being..." she fumbled for the words, "being in a relationship. You know her better than anyone."
She looked up to see that Chakotay was actually beginning to blush. "We're not", he said. "I know it looked that time, that we were... Well we were, but we weren't. It wasn't what it looked like", he finished, obviously flustered.
Kathryn blinked at him in surprise. "Oh. Well it looked-"
"I know it did. I'm horribly embarrassed about that."
"Not that it's any of my business but... you are?"
Chakotay managed a weak smile. "Of course. I do care about... what you think about me."
"Oh."
Despite her earlier misery, Kathryn felt her spirits beginning to lift. Suddenly she was conscious of the warmth of his leg pressing against hers, and realized too that he was still clutching her hand. How on earth did she not notice that before? She shot a quick glance at his face and saw that beneath his dark lashes he was watching her uncertainly.
"Well", she said awkwardly, "I guess we can't hide down here all night."
"No," he agreed. He screwed up his nose at an sudden thought. "Neelix wanted to cook us a feast tonight, for -"
"Morale", she finished, smiling. "I guess he's found his niche on this crew."
"Perhaps I should make him 'Chief Morale Officer'," Chakotay joked.
"Would that mean he cooked less often?"
"I doubt that."
"Just a thought."
"I hope you don't mind", he began tentatively, "but I made an executive decision and told him you weren't coming."
"You did?"
"Uh huh. I thought maybe we could have dinner together. Nothing special", he added quickly. "I just thought you might not be in the mood for a crew get together, but you shouldn't be wallowing in your quarters alone either."
She eyed him speculatively. Their heads were so close together right now that she could just lean over, and...
"What can you cook?" she asked curiously, instead.
"Anything you want."
Kathryn felt a curious tingling in the pit of her stomach at his words. Perhaps it would be more responsible of her to make an appearance at Neelix's dinner. But what reassurance could she offer the crew, given her current mood? Given the week she'd just had, didn't she deserve a few quiet hours to herself? It wasn't as though sole responsibility for the wellbeing of these people rested on her shoulders. She looked up to find Chakotay watching her quietly, waiting for her decision.
"Dinner it is", she said. "So long as it's not green and slimey."
"I think I can guarantee that much."
"Then you have a date."
If she had any doubts about the wisdom of her choice, Chakotay's beaming smile quickly dispelled them. He stood, pulling her up beside him.
"C'mon then, Red", he threw over his shoulder, with another dimpled grin.
Kathryn narrowed her eyes. "Watch it, or I might change my mind."
Chakotay stopped so suddenly that she almost collided with his back.
"Don't do that", he said seriously.
She almost giggled until she saw how intently he was staring at her. Unthinkingly, she raised her hand to cup his jaw, and gently pulled his head towards her. This time she did kiss him, a quick press of her warm lips against his.
"C'mon", she said with an impish smile, as he stared at her dumbly. "I've got quite an appetite now."
Chakotay's laughter pursued her as she left the hydroponics bay, followed quite closely by the man himself.
~~~
End of part five
~ read part six ~
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