Greetings K-9 friends. I am here to answer your questions, think of me as your personal K-9
Dear Abby. I know how to work MY human and I can also teach you ;-) Wags, Christian.
Dear Christian, I'm very sorry but I was born a cat. I was meant to be born a dog, but
goofed somehow. Maybe before I was born God decided to punish me by
making me a cat. Anyway, nobody likes me because I always stink. I
can't even find a home or anyone to love me, WHY? Because I always
smell so bad. You know even that blonde chick on friends, wrote a song
about me, because I always stink so bad. Please help or I will surely
die of loneliness soon.
The Cat
Dear Cat,
Ohhh man, do I ever hate cats. But I will be nice to you and help you.
I feel your pain since your stuck going through life as a cat. Also,
because I am Christian, the sweetest Afghan Hound to ever to be born.
Go to Jerre (my Mommy) and take her $30.00 and these instructions.
Print them out on your Cat-Computer, (So she can follow the instructions
step by step - she isn't real bright) and give them to her. I promise
you will enjoy this ~~~~>
Instructions on how to bathe a Cat for your Owner.
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the
water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both
lids. You may need to stand on the lid, depending on the weight of the cat.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the
noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash"
and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there
are no
people between the bathroom and the front door that you care about.
Afghan breeders and Goat breeders are always ok to leave in the path, if
you can get any.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both
lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom,
running outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Sincerely,
CHRISTIAN ASHTON FORD
Dear Christian,
I want to know why these annoying ZoSo Afghans Stormie and Bandit, that
are running around in my house always seem to get their way. Should I
get as pushy and bossy as they are?
BJ Borzoi
Hiya BJ Boy-zoi,
I just wanted to say congrats on all your recent wins! You're famous
around here. I would say handsome too, but Mom will go off the deep end
thinking I'm a fairy or something if I do - so I won't. Anyway, dude
don't bother getting pushy, it's so unbecoming in a Borzoi --- JUST
GROW SOME HAIR, and don't forget the Afghan top-knot either. By the
way, BJ my Mom thinks your Mom has a really cute human son. Tee hee,
that will cost her some dog cookies GGG
Christian
Dear Christian,
My mommy keeps putting stupid hats and things on me and taking tons of pictures and it is so annoying, especially when she tells me not to move for a long time and then keeps flashing a light in my face! I have sent you one of these dang pictures, see what she makes me do? I KNOW I am the cutest puppy from my litter, but for goodness sake, I can't take any more!!!! How can I get her to take more pictures of my stupid brother and leave me alone once in awhile? Should I growl at her and run away and try to hide like my daddy does?
Kaiba the Borzoi
Hey Kaiba the Borzoi,
I would suggest 'mooning' your Mom! Trust me on this!!! :->
Christian
Hi Daddy Christian,
I just wanted to ask you a question. I was in PetsMart today with my new family. They put me in a shopping cart like a baby. Everyone kept staring at me and telling my owners how beautiful I am. They thought I was the cutest thing they had ever seen. My new brother Phoenix-pit bull was very jealous. What can I do to make people notice him as well, when we are in public,
Yours truly,
ZoSo's Christian Dior aka Lil Christian (for now)
Hey Lil' Christian! Oh my God, what a cute name you have, son! Where did you get it? A perfume bottle or something? *GRIN* To answer your question, love your pit-bull brother, for he is truly a loyal dog, he would give his life for his people! *Sigh*, a 'REAL' dog! Now, you and I are the Barbie-dolls of the dog world -- so frigging enjoy the attention and 'milk' it for all you are worth! In fact if anyone even looks at your pit-bull brother, bite them, pee on yourself, scream, poop, escape and run away --- DO ANYTHING TO DRAW ALL
THE ATTENTION TO YOURSELF!!! You are an Afghan, and we have a
reputation to live up to! Always remember that my son! :-))))
Christian
Dear Christian,
How can I get my humans to understand that everything is
MINE---everything I can reach is mine--everthing I see is
mine--everything on the floor is MINE? BTW, I think you are handsome *wink*...
FuFu the Snoodle
My Drearest FuFu,
Are you a Poodle Schnauzer mix? I am very interested in dating out of my race! To answer your question, just tell them every thing is yours!
Christian
Dear Christian,
I wanna be a Champion, how can I do it?
Alexander
Dear Alexander,
I don't understand your question. Are you a purebred? Do you have papers? Do you have a rich human? *snicker*
Christian
Zoe Farmer asks: My Sisters call me a tyrant, Says I'm too controlling. How Do I MAKE them stop?
Dear Zoe,
I've seen your picture, so my suggestion would be to just bat those beautiful eyelashes, as all domino-Brindles can do so well, at your sisters, they will melt, like I do. BTW, I love controling Afghan women!!!
Christian
Dear Christian,
How can I get my hair to look as gorgeous as yours? Do you eat something different, or use a special shampoo? I like blondes, wanna come see me sometime?
Sweetpea the Borzoi.
Dear Sweetpea the borzoi,
Thank you! I usually hate being groomed, like most Afghan's, but if it gets me noticed by a Borzoi, I guess it's well worth it. Anyway, Mom sez I need to stop 'hitting' on all you females who are emailing me....*sigh* YES, I do wanna come to WA and see you sometime...Shhhhhh. Don't tell anyone! Christian.
PS Mom uses Pantine on my beautiful locks of white coat. In fact she uses a capful to a gallon of water, and leaves it my coat, for maintenance. Also, I get sprayed with *THE STUFF* lightly before I get brushed out. This works well on Girl-Zoi's also!
PPS I dine on a Lamb/Rice formular without corn.
PPPS Would you like to have a candle-lit kibble dinner on Mom's bed with me tomorrow?
PPPPS SweatPea, how tall are you? I'm 31 inches, coz I donno if I can do the 'taller-woman' thing...
Dear Christian;
I think you, me and all your brothers and sisters should get together and boycott your Mother for saying we are not sharp crayons, we are the sharpest crayons in the county !!! What do you think ???
Luv (platonically speaking) Walker in Toronto
Hi Walkie!
My mom is blonde, 'nuff said? Besides, she probably doesn't even know what a crayon is. What do I think? I think we should get together and go pick up chicks, OK, Walkie???
Christian
Dear Christian
Why are you so incredibly handsome - I think I am in love. Princess Raisa
Awww Shucks Raisa...
Thanks for noticing! I think you are one hottie Girl-Zoi ~WoooHooo! I knew when I met you in October at the Borzoi speciality that you were true Royality. Would you like to go out with Sweetpea-Borzoi and myself? Two Czarina's at once...YESS!!!! :-)) Christian
Christian! That's ENOUGH young man!!! No more hitting on the borzoi bitches! Your an Afghan, you little twit!
Mom
Mommy... I'm sorry ~ I love you the
mostest...Don't be jealous there's enough of me to go around!
Christian
Christian, What do you like for a beautiful Afghan lady to have, or what is your ideal Afghan female? If we weren't somewhat related, I think I could go for you. Tashie
Tashie, My Idea of a beautiful Afghan lady is for her to be .. BREATHING!!! By the way, my pretty cream princess - WE AREN'T THAT CLOSELY RELATED....*wink*! Mimi is your K-9 Mom right? Well my grandmother is Mimi's sister, so what time should I pick you up, and where would you like to go?
Christian
Hey Christian!
You little peice of excrement! How is that for a question? Grrrr! You're an evil grandson! I'm glad I don't have to live with your ugly butt anymore!!! Remember, I AM QUEENBITCH! I'm Alpha and I live to please myself! I make all the rules! And I noticed your page in the ZoSo website is bigger than my page. I'm not pleased! Tell Miah2, I'm going to kick her butt! Where in the crapola would you be without me! Betcha can't finish!!! Betcha I can rip open your face before you can get out of my way!!!!
Candy
K-9 Grandma Candy, Geeez! Umm, I'm not afraid to stand up to you! .............. Er, oh shit, Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyy?
Christian
Hello Christian,
CHAMPION COASTWIND ABRAXAS here! God granted me five minutes of
internet time to write to you. Seems the DOGGIE-HEAVEN computer is pretty busy these days. I have a few things to say...
1.) Thank your human Mom, Jerre for dedicating the entire website to me.
2.) Thank you Miah for her extemely creative work in the making 'my' site!
3.) CONGRATS on your recent Champion title!
4.) You do NOT have 14 crosses back to me, as your breeder boasts, but
in fact, you have only 13 - Check your pedigree Duffas!
I know many of your ZoSo relatives, Goblin, Sissy, Kailua, Sinner(God had to chance his name to "Forgiven") Panda, T-Khan(my son), and Ebony. Yes, I even know Mikey and Chrissie Borzoi! In fact we often have doggie-Tea together on Heaven-terrace.
Also, you made huge points up here, after being named SONG OF SONGS!
Now to my question ... I've been dead 20 years now, am I still the top producing Afghan Hound in history?
CHAMPION COASTWIND ABRAXAS
Dear Mr. Abraxas,
You are still the top sire in Afghan history! Three Afghans have
recently sired a few more than your 80 American Champion get. But it was done with a syringe filled with spermies.
So you can NEVER lose your ranking as THE TOP SIRE OF ALL TIME! Since there was no A.I. when you were still able to sire, back in 1980...even if a few of the 'modern-day' sires have slightly higher numbers. Please remember Mr. Abaxas, it took these three dogs 30 years to even come close to your record! Thank you Champion Coastwind Abraxas!!! As we
say here at ZoSo --- LONG LIVE THE MEMORY!!!
Love & respect
Christian
Dear Christian,
What does Zoso mean?
Sneekers
Dear Sneekers,
Firstly, it's ZoSo! The "S" is always capitalized, and I'll explain why... It is a collection of ancient Runic symbols blended together, to form an Idea or a thought. The top of the "Z" usually means darkness, where the tail of the "Z" appears to mean light. The double "o" is thought to stand for Equinox. The bottom of the "S" suggests summer and the top of the "S" in this symbol represents
winter. Although the "S" symbol is really not a letter. There is, however, no good/evil connotation to this drawing created by Jimmy Page as once thought by Zep Heads. Remember ZoSo is not a word, but four symbols - all describing BALANCE in nature! My breeder feels physical balance is the most important factor in a show dog. Here is what it looks like below. SO IS SNEEKERS YOUR REAL NAME, AND WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Christian
Hi Christian. I don't like you because you are so good looking and you are my
competition with the girls but I have a great nature and lots of good
clothes. Do you own any clothes or do you always walk around in the
nude. I am Tulare in case you don't know.
HUH? Who are you Tulare? Do I wear clothes? Ummm, I wear CHRISTIAN
DIOR of course, what do you wear, Cheetawear? *grin*
Mom told me to say that *snicker*
~Christian
Dear Mommy,
Please get me a Mac for Xmas, your webtv sux!
Christian
Christian,
Bite me, honey!
Mom
Mommy, REALLY? Where? Are you sure? How about I bite you on you're big
fat butt? I couldn't miss, since it's the size of Canada! Just kidding,
I love you Mommy!
Christian
Christian,
You're a smart-ass!
Mom
Mommy,
And I got my smart mouth, from whom?
Christian
Dearest Christian,
Go pick on your sister or I'll sit on you and squish you like a pancake!
MMMM, did someone say pancakes? Now stop talking to me! Dogs don't
talk remember?
Mother
Yes Mommy :-)
Shuddup Christian!
Ask Christian more questions, by clicking on the Afghan below, and sending your questions to me, at my mom ZoSo's house. I'll answer your questions ASAP......No question is too silly or fun! ~Christian~
More of Christians Advice to follow soon, so stop by often for his wisely advise.
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